This week on Proud Conception, we hear from Emily, an egg donor who felt called to action after stumbling across a Facebook post from a queer couple hoping to become parents. What began as a moment of curiosity quickly grew into a heartfelt commitment to support another whānau’s dream of having a child.

In this kōrero, Emily shares the full arc of her donation journey: how she connected with the intended parents, the counselling process she and her husband worked through, the boundaries they discussed as a family, and what the medical side of egg retrieval was actually like. She also reflects on how she thinks about her connection to any potential child born from her donation, and how she’s choosing to stay open to whatever emotions might arise in the future.

At the time of our conversation, Emily’s eggs had been successfully retrieved and fertilised, and the intended parents now have embryos waiting on ice, ready for the right moment for their gestational surrogate to begin her own process. Emily speaks with deep emotion about imagining them one day holding their baby, just as she’s held her own children.

This is an honest and grounded look into what egg donation can mean, not just medically, but emotionally and relationally. Emily’s story highlights the immense generosity behind gamete donation and offers valuable insights for anyone considering taking this path.

Apologies for a bit of feedback on the sound quality on this episode! I’m still working on my tech skills 🙂

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family-building story you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].

This week on Proud Conception, we meet Olivia, wife to Karen and mama to four-year-old Rafael. Their path to parenthood took many turns: from working with Oranga Tamariki to potentially care for a relative’s child, to trying at-home inseminations with a personal sperm donor, and finally to conceiving Rafael through IUI with an unknown clinic donor.

Olivia shares candidly about the heartbreaks and lessons along the way including the generosity of a friend who offered to be their donor, the grief when that plan changed, and the long wait on the donor list that ultimately led them to matching with a Filipino donor who beautifully reflected Karen’s heritage. Together, they’ve built a family culture that honours both their backgrounds and shared traditions into everyday life.

We also talk about navigating fertility clinic systems, the quirks of counselling requirements, inclusive midwifery care, and finding representation in children’s books (including one very special Canadian connection that felt meant to be). Olivia’s story is warm, grounded, and full of wisdom for those just starting their own journey to queer parenthood.

Resources:

• You Came from My Heart by Brenlee Coates and illustrated by Roberta Landreth https://www.youcamefrommyheart.com/ 

• Inclusion through Difference, a nationwide survey of Rainbow Families in Aotearoa: https://vuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7OPvyWEj8lLTSrc 

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation  with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

If you have a family-building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].

This week, I’m thrilled to share our second expert episode with the incredible Dr. Olivia Stuart of Fertility Associates.

Olivia is a gynaecologist, obstetrician, and fertility subspecialist meaning she can walk alongside individuals and couples from their initial fertility consultations through to the birth of their pēpi. Olivia came highly recommended by so many of you in the rainbow parenting community, and it’s easy to see why. She’s a compassionate, highly skilled, thoughtful healthcare provider and I was genuinely so chuffed that she agreed to come on to the podcast. 

With so much ground to cover, it was tricky to figure out where to even start this conversation with Olivia! So what we’ve recorded is a bit of a primer; a 101 on family building options using a fertility clinic. Olivia talks through common terms and procedures like IUI, IVF and ICSI, and discusses things like attrition during the IVF and ICSI processes and what sort of factors might lead her to advise one procedure over another. We then talked about how gamete donation - so sperm and egg donation - at the clinic works and what factors are at play in that matching process. 

Now, a confession and an apology! Olivia and I talked for nearly an hour but as we got to the last question, my technology failed me, and I sadly lost part of our recording (devastating!). I’m so sorry! If you were under any illusion that this is a well-oiled, commercial machine, I’m sure that is now well and truly shattered. Despite losing the last few minutes, the 43ish minutes I did capture with Olivia are gold. So please enjoy this intimate conversation with a respected fertility expert who works a lot with queer couples from our community.

If you enjoy this chat and want more expert conversations like it, please let me know via Instagram or email at [email protected]. Your feedback helps me show guests why these conversations matter and there was so much to cover with Olivia that I would love to have her back (with better tech!) and input from you could help make that happen. So please, get in touch with feedback and requests for additional topics. 

You can learn more about Olivia and her practice at www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/team/dr-olivia-stuart 

And as always, thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing [email protected].

This week on Proud Conception, we sit down with Oli—a non-binary solo parent to a spirited two-and-a-half-year-old, Francis. Oli’s conception journey has a bit of everything: fertility clinics, two different clinic donors, IUI and IVF, and finally, success through a low-tech at-home insemination with a known donor met through a mutual friend.

Alongside the logistics of conceiving, Oli navigated perceptions around being a solo parent by choice and their identity as a non-binary birthing parent. And now, as a parent to a toddler, Oli shares openly about beginning testosterone and their gender transition journey.

Oli is thoughtful, wise, funny, and their story is deeply moving; a true taonga. I am so genuinely honoured they chose to share it with me and you all. 

Resources:

• Rainbow Families Aotearoa Facebook group

• Dr. Heather Johnston of @cradlednz

• The Burnett Foundation Aotearoa’s free counselling sessions for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Find out more at www.burnettfoundation.org.nz/get/get-counselling

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

Please consider sharing this podcast with a friend, it really does help us connect with people who might benefit from the stories we are sharing.

And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing [email protected]. 

This week’s episode features Laura, a two-time gestational surrogate with a powerful story and a big heart. Laura has carried a pregnancy before for two gay dads and is now five weeks pregnant again with surrogate pēpi number two for a different set of dads, former MP and broadcaster Tamati Coffey and his partner Tim.

Many folks in the LGBTQ+ community are just missing one vital piece of the biological puzzle for reproducing — a uterus! So gestational surrogates like Laura play an incredibly important role in helping others grow their whānau.

In this kōrero, Laura shares openly about her two surrogacy journeys and what inspired her to carry for others, the difference between gestational and traditional surrogacy, how surrogacy works legally in Aotearoa, including the ECART process and the involvement of Oranga Tamariki, the financial realities of surrogacy, her relationships with the intended parents and the importance of ongoing connection, and her advice for anyone looking for a surrogate to help grow their whānau.

Resources:

• You can follow Laura’s journey on Instagram @theirbabymybody and Tamati Coffey (who Laura is carrying this pēpi for) is also sharing some updates on his Instagram @tamaticoffey.

• Laura also mentions some Facebook groups she facilitates for surrogates and intended parents in NZ. You can join them by searching for “New Zealand Surrogate Support” and “New Zealand Intended Parents (via surrogacy) Support” on Facebook. 

• Love Makes a Family is a website where surrogates, gamete donors and intended parents can match up and support one another. You can find out more at https://lovemakes.family/

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

If you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach Rachael via Instagram or by emailing [email protected] 

This week’s guest slid into my DMs and boy am I glad she did! Tayla, fiancé to Jess and mummy to 3-year-old Angus, is raw, real and so relatable. In this episode, she takes us through the step-by-step of at-home insemination with hilarious detail and finding their sperm donor through a Facebook donation group; an approach she jokingly calls the “low maintenance way to have a baby.”

She shares the rollercoaster of responses she received when reaching out for donor sperm in those groups (from the weird to the outright offensive) and the immense gratitude she felt when their family-building journey finally fell into place.

She’s candid about how she and Jess chose their donor, their ongoing relationship with him, and how she imagines Angus’ connection with him evolving in the future - drawing on her own experience of meeting her dad as a young adult. 

Tayla is funny, candid, and refreshingly down-to-earth. You’ll love this kōrero.

Tayla also talks about the at-home insemination kit from Hāpu Helpers that she and Jess used to conceive (after ordinary syringes weren’t up to the task!). You can learn more about these kits here: https://hapuhelpers.co.nz/

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod. And if you have a family building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch! You can reach us via Instagram or by emailing [email protected]

In this episode of Proud Conception, we speak with Marty, who is husband to Mike (for 30 years!), and dad to their son Xavier, who’s now 18. Their family’s journey began before marriage equality, at a time when adoption and surrogacy were limited pathways for queer couples in Aotearoa. Instead, Marty and Mike pursued permanent foster care which led to Xavier joining their whānau when he was four years old. 

Marty speaks about the process of applying to become foster parents, receiving “the phone call,” and the early days of welcoming their child into their home. He talks about the challenges of working within the foster care system, managing Xavier’s high and complex needs, and building extended whānau connections with Xavier’s siblings and birth family. 

We also touch on Marty’s professional work as Director of Pride Pledge, about what he’s seeing in workplaces around support for rainbow families. If you’re interested in the work Marty does at Pride Pledge, you can learn more at https://pridepledge.co.nz/ 

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

In our first expert episode of the season, we sit down with Dr. George Parker, senior lecturer of health service delivery at Victoria University of Wellington. With a clinical background in midwifery and a PhD in sociology, George has dedicated their career to making perinatal spaces safer and more inclusive for rainbow whānau.

We talk about the complexities of LGBTQ+ parenthood, the importance of inclusive healthcare, and what it means to come into your own with age (and a bit of gumption). George also shares insights from their research, including the Trans Pregnancy Care Project, which explored the experiences of trans parents and healthcare providers. You can read more about this project at transpregnancycareproject.wordpress.com.

George also introduces their new initiative, Inclusion Through Difference, which will include a nationwide survey of rainbow parents launching this September. This survey is an important chance for our communities to be counted and to contribute to research that wants to see us thrive. You can follow the project on Instagram at @inclusionthroughdifference, and the survey will be available through Moana Vā, so be sure to follow them too @moana_va.

Finally, George highlights rainbow-inclusive antenatal classes offered by Empwr, which provide affirming and supportive pregnancy education. You can learn more at empwrbirth.com.

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

In this conversation on Proud Conception, we speak with Camila, a queer parent originally from Argentina and now based in Ōtautahi.

We discuss her international love story with wife Hannah, the logistics of building a family with a known donor and using low tech, at-home insemination techniques, having a supportive GP, forming a written agreement with the donor, and the importance of community support. We also discuss Camila’s advocacy and community work and the needs of queer families as she builds an organisation focused on Rainbow Families across Aotearoa. 

If you’re interested in the work Camila’s doing with Rainbow Families Aotearoa you can follow their instagram @rainbowfamiliesaotearoa

The two Facebook Groups that Camila and I discuss on this episode are Rainbow Families Aotearoa NZ and the Auckland Rainbow Families Social Club.

If you’re a visual listener watching this on YouTube, I apologise for the tech issues we had at around 30 minutes which means you have to look at an awkward photo of my face for the last half of the episode! The conversation is worth it, I promise.

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and head over to Instagram to join the conversation @ProudConceptionPod. 

In this episode of Proud Conception, we speak with Lou about life in Christchurch with her wife Libby, their two boys, and Libby’s niece.

Lou shares their journey using a local fertility clinic, navigating multiple rounds of donor selection, and making tough decisions after several unsuccessful IUI attempts. She openly discusses some challenges during the mandated counselling sessions and the role of male figures in their whanau. Lou also reflects on how she and Libby carved out special moments to keep their partnership at the centre of what can otherwise be a clinical process, and how the intensity of the journey eventually faded as they settled into their new family life.

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more please follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and head over to Instagram to join the conversation @ProudConceptionPod.