Pshht Themes

Did you ask for this? Probably not, but we're back from our brief hiatus to revisit some of our earliest films/recordings and see if anything has changed. We learned new things, like Sean Bean's eyes change color, the original screenplay was 600 PAGES, and Kalique had a fetish for getting wrinkles! We're still confused how this got made, we still don't understand most of what this movie is about, and we STILL can't believe we're trapped in Eddy Redmayne's throat!!! We discuss how Channing Tatum needs at least a collar or a harness (SOMETHING!!!), science elevators, the origins of crop circles, and Erin STILL can't forgive the abhorrent use of a feminine pad!! Let's be real, this movie is awful, but we enjoyed the laughs, the discussions, and the breakdowns (literally) all the same. 

Здравствуйте! We started this podcast on task and ready for a highly coordinated TED talk from our resident Russian History/Lit dweeb, Erin. But by the end, we got Jennifer Coolidge impersonations, LE PONT ALEXANDRE TROIS!, a royal palace bereft of occupants but no one stole the silverware (or the gold for that matter), and arguing that no one cares about the ending's accuracy, the writers didn't bother for the rest of the film. Zombie Rasputin who doesn't do anything, an albino bat with an unplaceable accent, and a music box which seems key to a certain someone's identity, but NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT!!! There is ONE murderous horse in this film, so if you were keeping track, now you know. 

This week Erin and Brennan are picked up in a time machine captained by Walter Cronkite! Is it a time machine or a spaceship? Or a spaceship time machine?? Whatever it is, it's filled with BRAAAAINNNN GRAAAAAIIIINNN!!!!! A cereal that makes your brain grow, like, a lot! We meet Rex, Elsa, Woog, and Dweeb, dinosaurs (and a pterosaur) that are brought to the 90's to fulfill the wishes of children at The Museum of Natural History *wink* (new law, it must be said in the voice of Cronkite for all time). On the other hand, there is Professor Screweyes who sees our Mesozoic friends as monsters in his show of frights and fears. We talk zombies, Totoro, chainsaws, unreliable friends, and a murder of crows. To be honest though, there's nothing wrong with a horror circus, so we're not actually sure why Screweyes is considered bad. In a month we are calling June Gloom, this is one of our most uplifting and beautiful films from our childhoods. 

We'll rendez-vous, we'll rendez-vous.

This week Erin and Brennan visit the library to continue their trek of rewatching the films that gave them trauma as children. In "the Pagemaster" we run into Patrick Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg, and Frank Welker as Adventure, Fantasy, and Horror. Not to be confused with the sections they also represent. Let's be real, Erin is a book nerd and she loves this, apart from all the times she was scared in this film. We get solid Star Trek representation, cool lightning fairies, and acid martinis!! In the end, we find the EXIT and learn that we should love books more, duh. Get a library card, kids!

Hello, Void!! This week we venture into the Bush of Australia where nothing is as it seems. The Murder Birds (Cassowaries) are silly and kind, Byron Bay is a "big city," and the Aussies are from New Jersey. People of color? No! But they definitely appropriated their art. Tone Loc wants to eat us, Tim Curry wants to seduce us, and Robin Williams really wants us to kill that human. Despite being a very strange film, the message of environmentalism, how easy it is to destroy it all, and how necessary it is to save our planet is well received. To be fair, the most important lesson is to never cut down the gnarliest tree in all the land regardless of if it has a red X or not. 

We also have a TED talk about reclaiming wood, planting trees, and shopping at IKEA. 

Erin, Brennan, and Matt go to reclaim Mandalore, and while bathing in the Living Waters, wonder why there are so many giant monsters that just show up out of nowhere. . . . We have cute puppets, seaweed pirates, and Mandalorian castles, finally! But through it all, can we be clear that the ancient fall of Mandalore was like, 15 years ago? That's not ancient, people. Let's be real, the highlight is justice for Ahmed Best, and the hope that we see his heroic jedi return again soon. 

WE HAVE BEEN REDEEMED!
WITNESS US MYTHOSAUR!!!!!!!

Welcome to our podcast this week about "The Princess Diaries." We discuss the inaccurate representation of San Francisco geography, FMK the boys, and Pier 39 is NOT in Marin! When we're not fuming about cable cars on streets that don't have cables to car, how not to drive a stick shift on the hills of San Francisco, or why driving to the Embarcadero does NOT take you to Pacific Heights, we are gushing about Anne Hathaway, Mandy Moore, and our Queen of Genovia, Dame Julie Andrews. Let's not forget the comedy of Sanda Oh, "The queen is coming, to Grove High School." Our MVPs this week are the Prime Minister and his wife for acting the fool to save Mia. We stan Hector Elizondo's "I'm not a spy" spy despite very much being a spy when he's not being part of the sexiest relationship in this film. Oof!
 
Thank you for being here today! *wave graciously*

Hello, Void! We're back with another timely episode, this week discussing "A League of Their Own." We're talking women's rightful place in the pantheon of athletics, the dignity of athletes from all backgrounds (we're looking at you Nike and Uncle Phil), and the transformative power of sports. But to be fair, we're caught in the glow of Geena Davis, Madonna, and Rosie O'Donnell, and of course Tom Hanks who somehow knabs top billing as a supporting actor. PATRIARCHY!!!! Comedic cameos, presidential husbands, and good ol' tomfoolery is abound in a movie that will make you cry by the end. The one thing we can't forget is that backpfeifengesicht messenger! (Look it up) And that Marla is the best; PERIODT. 

Let's play ball!

This week, Erin and Brennan watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in efforts to become Knights of the Round Table, We dance whene'er we're able We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable We dine well here in Camelot We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!! When they're not being silly, they delve into the origins and political implications of the Arthurian Legend. Bet you didn't expect that bit, did you! Or maybe you did, because we do this quite often. The Green Knight, Divine Right, authority and power, and why does the Sun have a moustache?!?!?! There's so much to cover and only so much time for our hosts. Holy Hand Grenades, St. Francis of Assisi, the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, and YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDEBERRIES!! But let's be real, this is Erin's chance to push the embarrass button on Brennan's ego, the poor boy was heartbroken by the ending. 

GET ON WITH IT!

Greetings, Void! We're here this week to celebrate the Padre, and to do so we are watching Seabiscuit. We talk about history, stock markets, prohibition, and to spice things up, sexy "Iceman" references. Erin and Brennan explore their emotions with this heartwarming film of the ultimate underdog in the most trying time in American history. This movie has the Dude, Spiderman, the best judge in Pitch Perfect, and the villain from the Muppet Movie, and together they help horse go in circle fast! But really, this movie is amazing and heartwarming and we cried a million times. The end.