🍷🍷🍷🍷 How does anyone still live in London!? We’re in the 1960s now but people are still getting murdered left and right. And dismembered. And they are all innocent and lovely women who are in the sex trade. HAVE THE POLICE LEARNED NOTHING?!?!?!?

🍷🍷 Welcome to your afternoon tour of the Thames! To your left, you’ll see bloody stumps lapping up against the bridge bricks. Look quickly or you’ll miss it! To your right, you’ll see someone’s facial features floating by! Those crazy med students…

🍷🍷🍷 Lessons to take away from this episode: don't be too good at things or you will get all soaped up and maimed; don't threaten your boyfriend with suicide if he doesn't marry you, it won't end well; it is possible to convince a famous national treasure to marry you when you stalk him onto a ship even if you two don't have a language in common; don't marry aforementioned ship stalker because she will use you, work you ragged so she can feel rich, and then she will just leave you alone living i squalor just feecying up the joint.

🍷🍷🍷 We're headed East with an episode about the Wests
They're all awful and none of their decisions make any sense
I'd like to say this is a cautionary tale but I'm not sure anyone in their right minds would ever find themselves in these situations...

🍷🍷 Welcome to our Codpast!  Today we talk about a wannabe Orson Welles who got headbutted by his father and again for some reason thinks he killed his mother (spoiler alert: he did not). Oh yeah, he also is SLAPPIN DA BYASS!

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (to the tune of Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran) Mental illness abounds---It's on the hunt it's after her---Incest all around, that isn't allowed-- So she's unstable like the Woolf---She's lost in her mind ---has milk by the pint-- but it's on the hunt it's after her----Can't stay alive, she doesn't feel fine---because she's unstable like the Woolf

🍷🍷🍷 Murder Castle? More like Misapprehension Castle, amirite?!

🍷🍷🍷🍷In the first of this 2-part series, we take a look at a young Mudgett, introduce the cast of characters (and by "characters" we mean idiots, wives, and a select few who were both). Plus, we make a whole stink over his childhood nickname.

🍷  Dressed like a girl by your mother?  Rejected from the army for bad eyesight? Go fight bulls! Better yet be a journalist, but make it war. Even better YET, be a journalist but indulge in international espionage and manage to fake join the Navy better than L. Ron Hubbard did actually joining the Navy. The best of all...write A LOT about hair and have everyone call you Papa.

🍷🍷 According to cannibals, humans taste like pork but are a little more bitter and stronger. Cannibals living on the Marquesas Islands of Polynesia call human meat "long pig" - so enjoy this episode about literal pork 'n beans.