What happens when someone stops playing the role they were assigned in a family?

In this episode, I explore family estrangement through the Drama Triangle, looking at enmeshment, boundaries and individuation; why an adult child can move from Rescuer to perceived Persecutor; how partners and therapists can become pulled into the triangle; and why physically leaving a family system isn’t necessarily the same thing as leaving it internally.

This isn’t an argument for or against going No Contact. It’s an exploration of the deeper question underneath it:

Can I remain myself in relationship with you? And if I can’t, what does becoming myself require?

Read the original essay on Substack — including the Drama Triangle diagram, written examples and references, as well as the original essay from the estranged mother that prompted this piece.

Work with me — learn more about psychosomatic consultation, Strategic Deep Dives and ongoing 1:1 work.

When does a survival strategy stop feeling like something you do and start feeling like who you are?

In this episode, I explore the identities we build from survival, the limits of psychological self-awareness, and what can happen when the patterns that once protected us become indistinguishable from the person underneath them.

From hypervigilance and people-pleasing to high achievement, empathy, diagnosis, and the endless search to understand ourselves, this is an exploration of a much more uncomfortable question:

Who am I underneath the survival strategy?

Tanya Master is a psychosomatic consultant and developer of the Psychosomatic Restoration Method™.

Learn more about my work: tanyamaster.com

In this episode, I explore the subtle experience of outgrowing a life that once fit—the grief of leaving behind an old identity, the uncertainty of transition, and the possibility that feeling lost is not failure but evidence of transformation.

Learn more about my work: https://tanyamaster.com

Book a Strategic Deep Dive: https://tanyamaster.com/strategic-deep-dive