Purpose, not Pity: After the Impact

This episode explores the possibility that not all hardship is punishment, some of it is preparation. Inspired by a conversation on Angie Martinez IRL with Joe Budden reflecting on Kobe Bryant, Erika asks a powerful question:

We talk about becoming emotionally ready for the life we want, understanding divine timing, releasing armor, and stepping into a season where strength looks like softness, truth, and self-acceptance.

This episode will challenge the way you see your past and open your heart to a future where you don’t just survive, you become.

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Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
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🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

A FaceTime call from my bonus son, Malachi, flipped my whole day. What started as a normal check-in turned into him admitting something he never says out loud… that since my son Jovan passed, he hasn’t been able to find that kind of connection again. And he feels lonely.

In this bonus episode, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moment grief showed up out of nowhere and shifted everything. This is about the loneliness we don’t talk about enough, the connections we can’t replace, and the way grief hits even when life looks “fine.”

If you’ve ever felt joy and heartbreak in the same day… this one is for you.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

Most people expect anger after loss to look loud and obvious. But what if your anger is quiet? What if it lives in your body, in long silences, in questions you can’t say out loud?

In this “halfway” episode of Purpose, Not Pity (Episode 7), Erika Hernandez dives into the anger that doesn’t look like anger. She talks about the invisible rage after losing a child, being angry at God, herself, the justice system, and even the person accused in his death. She shares how she masked her pain, turned inward, and learned that true healing begins when you stop hiding your anger and let it lead you out of the dark.

 If your life looks nothing like you planned, this episode is for you. 

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s not just your dreams that disappear,  it’s the version of yourself you thought you’d always be.

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what it feels like to stand in the wreckage of the life you once imagined and realize nothing looks the way you thought it would. From divorce and career setbacks to infertility, addiction, and loss, this episode is about what happens when the picture shatters, and how to find yourself again in what’s left.

Because starting over isn’t about rebuilding what broke. It’s about picking up one piece that still feels like you and carrying it forward.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

When life breaks you open through loss, heartbreak, or tragedy, it is not just the person you lose. It is the friendships you thought would last forever. Some friends vanish. Some go silent. And sometimes, it is you who has to walk away.

In this raw episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika Hernandez shares what nobody talks about: the disappointment of friends who never show up, the shock of realizing who actually stays, and the loneliness of trying to rebuild your circle after everything changes. From being the “mom friend” who always protected others, to questioning whose responsibility it is to reach out after heartbreak, to learning how to live with a much smaller circle, this conversation is for anyone who has ever felt abandoned, angry, or deeply alone.

Because the truth is, friendships are not always forever. But the ones that survive? They are sacred.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What happens when grief collides with your menstrual cycle? In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, Erika opens up about a deeply personal experience: a week of nonstop tears that felt like a setback in her healing journey, until she realized her period had arrived.

Grief already weighs heavy, but hormonal shifts during PMS and perimenopause can amplify sadness, irritability, fatigue, and brain fog. Erika shares how living with rheumatoid arthritis made the symptoms even harder to untangle, why so little is written about the connection between hormones and grief, and why it’s time to start talking about it openly.

This conversation isn’t just for women who menstruate. Grief collides with all of our bodies; through stress, sleep, illness, or aging. Whether you’ve lost a child, a relationship, or a version of yourself, this episode sheds light on the often-hidden ways heartbreak shows up physically and reminds you that you’re not alone in it.

Join Erika as she breaks the silence on a taboo topic and invites us to track, prepare, and give ourselves grace when grief and our bodies intersect.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

On the second anniversary of my son Jovan’s passing, I’m opening this podcast with something deeply personal, a letter to him.

This isn’t a story told from a place of healing already found, but from the middle of it. In this episode, I take you back to the hours before he left, the silence that followed, the anger I carried, and the truth I finally allowed myself to say out loud.

You’ll hear about grief, yes. But also what it means to start over. To seek peace. To rediscover purpose, not because you’re ready, but because you have no other choice.

This letter is where my story begins. And maybe… where some of yours will begin, too.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

Who were you before your heartbreak? Before the divorce, the loss, the diagnosis, the friendship that ended, the dream that slipped away?

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the version of me that existed before September 2nd, 2023, before I lost my son. I share what my mom, my sister, and my childhood friend remember about me, and how loss forced me to confront the truth: we are never the same after heartbreak.

But here’s the hope, that’s not failure. That’s transformation.

This episode isn’t just about my story. It’s about our stories. About how loss strips us down, reshapes us, and forces us to meet a version of ourselves we never expected. One that is wiser, softer, and stronger in ways we couldn’t see before.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost yourself, this conversation is for you. You’re not lost. You’re being remade

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What does it really mean to live again after loss?

In this episode of Purpose, Not Pity, I open up about the reality of rebuilding after Jovan’s passing, not in the big, dramatic moments, but in the daily ones. The first time I had to drive a car without him. The first time I showed up to work after crying in the parking lot. The first time I cooked, cleaned, or shopped for one less person.

We’ll talk about the pressure people put on us to "move on," and the even heavier pressure of daily life that doesn’t stop when your world does. And then, I’ll share the turning point that helped me realize survival isn’t the same as living, and why joy after loss isn’t betrayal, it’s survival.

This episode isn’t just about my story. It’s about all of us who’ve been cracked open by heartbreak, whether it’s death, divorce, addiction, lost friendships, or broken dreams. Together, we’ll explore how rebuilding doesn’t start with a blueprint, it starts with just one brick.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your grief, your heartbreak, or your own "first normals," this conversation is for you. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re rebuilding, even when you can’t see it yet.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.

What do you do when life breaks you open, and nothing looks like you imagined?

Welcome to Purpose, Not Pity, a podcast for anyone who’s walked through loss, pain, or transformation and is learning to live with intention on the other side.

I’m Erika Hernandez, storyteller, bonus mom, grieving mother, healing human, and in this space, we’re choosing truth over polish, presence over perfection, and purpose over pity.

This short trailer will give you a glimpse into what’s coming, what this podcast is really about, and why you’ll never have to walk your healing journey alone again.

🎧 Full episodes drop the 1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month.

Support the show

Stay connected at byerikahernandez.com or on your favorite social platform.

TikTok: @by.erikahernandez
Instagram: @byerikahernandez
YouTube: @byerikahernandez

🎧 New episodes drop the 2nd & 4th Tuesday of every month

📬 Want to share your story or connect?
Email: [email protected]

💚 Thanks for listening. Keep choosing purpose, not pity.