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Because I'm seeing a few things. And I'm not sure if they're true, but I'm seeing that hitting the ceiling, or really getting to the edge of beyond one's previous perceptions, really, pushing the boundaries of what has been perceptible to this particular individual can cause one to really bottom out. And it's happened to me numerous times before, and the bottoming out is usually some kind of crisis and that energetic, scary feeling in my heart. So yesterday, I was tired, I took a nap. And today, I was tired, too. And I was trying to nap and I was laying down and my brain was sort of active still, but I was partly asleep, and my brain really saw that we are the world or as Krishnamurti says, I am the world and the world is me. And my body got just a tiny bit freaked out like, ah, like, what do I do with that? What do I do with seeing that, because the brain is used to operating based on I am the ego, and the ego is me. So there's a little bit of fear, because how does one operate in this world based on one mode of operation and, and then start to see this other mode, and that mode gets warped into something that is not really what it is. And I've had a lot of insights into that today. And I don't know, if I really want to go into them. I've also had an insight into how this is sort of like sea sickness. But instead of SCA s E. Not that it's a sickness, I just thought using the word seasickness is kind of funny, because one is almost made ill by how much one can see. And I'm not talking about ill in terms of mental illness, but it's just difficult to know how to navigate when one feels like they see a lot more than what we're conditioned to see. So in saying that, I feel like I've been talking about embodying versus just having dialogue, which is sort of more of a mental activity. And going from seeing to being so a lot of my energy going through my brain is diverted to perception and actually seeing into things and seeing more and unfolding things and then talking about it, and I've sort of made myself not one dimensional, but that is the main way that this other energy is being utilized to perceive. But if I could see that, maybe I've seen enough. And I think that's what happens sometimes when I hit the ceiling is I've seen enough and the brain sort of reacts by retracting back down to quite a low level of consciousness, which happens in a way because what one sees when one sees too much can be scary, it can really show the brain how all of this works. 

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