Queer Queeries

"How did having a closeted father impact you?" "How do you talk about queerness with your family?" "How do you talk about queerness with kids?" "How can we all be better at normalizing queerness?"

On this episode, I interview Jimmy Larkin (he/him), a fellow actor and creator of the Instagram account "Let's Heart It For The Choice" which is sweeping musical theatre accounts across the nation. When Jimmy was younger, he was cast in the show Falsettos, a musical that centers a family dealing with a father who's a newly out gay man. It was at this same time Jimmy noticed his own father was hiding something and that there might be a reason his father loved coming to see the show every night. Jimmy and I discuss what it was like having a closeted father growing up and the shame he felt was passed on to him from his father. He says how it was apparent while he was coming out because he was living in a much freer and accepting world when his father was not able to. It wasn't until recently that Jimmy felt it was time to share his father's story with his family and others not just to finally free himself and his father of his secret, but also to continue to destigmatize being gay and the shame that surrounds it. Jimmy also works with kids regularly and shares how it is imperative for him to to teach kids and in turn their parents about queerness, the importance of identifying yourself, and being an ally to those who might be different from what they are taught is "the norm."

We also discuss:

• Gay shame and the expectations of what being Gay is
• Why the struggle to talk about our personal lives is the last bit of shame Queer people hold on to
• The importance of listening to kids and asking them who and what they want to be as opposed to telling them
• What can parents do to keep their children safe but not squash their method of self-expression 
• Gendering toys
• And...Best Christmas gifts that might not have been "boy gifts"

Follow Jimmy and Let's Heart It For The Choice:
Jimmy: https://www.instagram.com/jimmylarkin/
LHIFTC: https://www.instagram.com/letshearitforthechoice/

Southern Fried Queer Pride:
Learn: http://www.southernfriedqueerpride.com/our-vision
Donate: http://www.southernfriedqueerpride.com/donate

Resources for Further Learning:
Pride and Pronouns--Talking with Kids about Pronouns and Gender: http://www.genderwheel.com/pride-and-pronouns/
How to Talk to Kids About Gender: https://www.parents.com/kids/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-gender/

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How do you know if you're trans?" "What would our spirits be if we didn't have oppressive voices telling us what to be?" "What is the energy that connects all Queer people?" "Why do we need to say 'black lives matter' and 'black trans lives matter?'"

On this episode, I interview Sunshine Bella (she/her), published author, hair and fashion stylist, empowerment speaker, and the first trans woman and trans woman of color to be on the board of the Alliance For Full Acceptance. On of the first things I was curious about in interviewing Sunshine was all of the incredible accomplishments on her resume. She states how it stemmed from a mentor she had who empowered her to use her voice and taught her that our lives are not about us and the things we experience only. This especially rung true as a Queer and Trans individual who wanted to work to change people's perception of Trans identity and help inspire others to live out and proud. Sunshine reveals her journey of eventually coming out as trans; how it was through a spiritual encounter that she began that journey after many years of trying to define who she was. Also, in considering Black Lives Matter, we discuss the importance of saying Black Trans Lives Matter at protests, on social media, because of the history of black trans people being excluded from both the Black community and the Queer community but still being expected to fight for the cause.

Things also discussed:

• Using your platform to increase visibility for and acceptance of Queer people
• The importance of educating yourself on the experiences of others to be a better ally and Queer person
• The beautiful spiritual energy that connects all Queer people
• Advice Sunshine has for anyone who is trans contemplating whether they want to socially transition or medically transition
• Words Sunshine has for people who do not understand someone who is trans

Follow Sunshine:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sbg_global/
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/SBGLOBALCBD

For The Gworls:
Follow: https://www.instagram.com/forthegworls/
Rent and Gender Affirming Surgery Fund: https://www.artsbusinesscollaborative.org/asp-products/for-the-gworls-rent-and-gender-affirming-surgery-fund/
Medical Fund: https://www.artsbusinesscollaborative.org/asp-products/for-the-gworls-ftg/

Resources for Further Learning:
Disclosure documentary trailer (available on Netflix): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysbX6JUlaEc
3 Season of Life: Discovery, Believe, Faith: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1717586260/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_vMKPEbXCV0VSQ

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"When did you know you were trans?" "What hardships have you experienced as a transgender person?" "Have you experienced transphobia within the Queer community?" "How can we all work to be more inclusive of TGNC (Trans Gender Non-Conforming)?"

On this week's episode, I'm joined by Kayden Taylor (he/him), the host of the Transcaster Radio, a podcast about trans life and all the things that go along with it. In a recent study done by GLAAD, 80% of Americans say they don't personally know someone who is transgender. That means most of what audiences learn about transgender people comes from the media. And, unfortunately, most of the representation of Transgender people has often been portrayed in an offensive/incorrect light. So, if you have nothing but misinformation and bad representation presented to you, then what are you supposed to do and think about someone who is transgender? Or, if you are transgender, how are you supposed to find the confidence to come out and lead the life you want? Kayden shares how he created his podcast to combat this problem in two ways: provide positive representation of transgender people and to ask the questions that some people are uncomfortable to ask trans folk. He shares how it came from an initial need for himself when he was researching what being transgender was on his own coming's out journey; he only found incorrect or negative information and rarely found informative first-hand accounts or saw positive representation. This led to increasing internalized transphobia for Kayden which he shares is a common thing for many trans people. Kayden shares though that it was through the acceptance and love of his chosen family that eventually led him to come out and now work towards helping other at-risk LGBTQ+ youth. 

On the episode, we discuss Queeries such as:

• Some of the most extreme instances of transphobia existing in medical institutions
• Transphobia within the Trans community
• Socially Transitioning vs. Medically Transitioning
• The need for Queer people to keep fighting, using our voices, telling our stories, because not all of us live in these progressive hubs.
• Kayden's experience of being female presenting in the world to now being male presenting and having to check his now white male privilege.

Queer Glossary:

• Living stealth: where a fully transitioned person lives completely as their new gender and doesn't reveal they are transgender

Follow Transcaster Radio:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/transcasterradio/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TranscasterRadio/?modal=admin_todo_tour
Website: https://www.transcasterradio.com

The Transgender District in San Francisco:
Learn: https://www.transgenderdistrictsf.com
Donate: https://www.transgenderdistrictsf.com/donate

Resources For Further Learning:
ALSO Youth (Advocacy Leadership Support Outreach): https://www.alsoyouth.org
Disclosure: 100 years of Trans representation on Screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysbX6JUlaEc
Amateur: A True Story About What Makes a Man a Man by Thomas Page McBee: https://www.thomaspagemcbee.com/amateur

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What is a Gay Icon?" "Who are some of your favorite Gay Icons?" "What do Gay Icons teach us?" "Are you a Gay Icon?"

On this week's episode, I decided to switch things up a little bit: me and guest, Zacary Landolt (he/him) of the In Another World podcast, play a little game of "Guess That Icon" where each of us gives the other three words that describe some of our most favorite Gay Icons. What is a Gay Icon you may ask? Well, depending on which Gay you talk to they have different criteria, but a Gay Icon ultimately is some famous figure who has made an impact on the Queer community in some type of way; whether it be in their activism, their style, their persona, or being Queer themselves. And, more often than not, a lot of these Gay Icons are women. Zacary and I discuss why so many Gay Icons are women, why many gay men have a fascination with sexy, glamorous, powerful women, and how we use these women to explore our own sexuality and personalities. I always love talking about the women I gag for and that inspire me, so this episode was such a treat. I hope you enjoy gagging over these divas and queens as much as we do.
 
Follow the In Another World podcast:
Instagram
Twitter
Apple Podcasts
Spotify

Organization of the Week: Marsha P. Johnson Institute
Learn
Donate

Resources For Further Learning:

• "Eartha Kitt on Relationships: Compromise or What?"
• "Auntie Mame trailer"
• "Paris is Burning trailer"
• "Gay Icons: 25 Divas Who Have Been Embraced By Gay Culture"

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What was the hardest part about being out in a sorority?" "Did ever feel you were just used as a face of acceptance and inclusion for a place that wasn't that?" "What are the best parts about Greek life?" "How can we change a system so rooted in antiquated ways?"

On this week's episode, I interview Addison McKissack (she/her), who's a journalist and the editor of our show; not only that but she is also and Alpha Delta Pi alumna and the first openly gay president of the National Panhellenic Conference chapter at Texas State. Something that is very integral to the college experience is that of Greek life. However, the unfortunate thing about this system, is that its many antiquated elements (language and policies) that negatively perpetuate gender roles and heteronormativity. Though, as Addison shares, there are many positive elements to the Greek life--creating family that expands generations, the philanthropic elements--it can often be hard to acknowledge the good when the "foundation of the house" is made up of elitist principles. Addison tells her story of doing Alpha Delta Pi and eventually becoming the first openly gay president of the Texas Sate Chapter of the National Panhellenic Conference.

We also discuss:

• Organizations and companies commodifying Queer and BIPOC people as faces of inclusion and diversity.
• Traditions that perpetuate inherent heteronormativity
• Exclusion of Queer people in the Greek system
• Why the Greek system should still exist
• How to make the system more inclusive

Follow Addison:
Instagram
Twitter

Organization of the Week: House of GG
Learn
Donate

Resources for Further Learning:

• Secret Sisters: Stories of Being Lesbian and Bisexual in a College Sorority
• "Gay and Greek: LGBTQ+ students make homes in fraternities and sororities"
• "What's It Like Being Queer and in Greek Life? 4 Students Tell Us"
• Greek and queer: LGBTQ+ students navigate Greek life at the university

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"It's not racist. It's just my preference." "I just prefer someone who is more masculine over feminine." "No fats, no fems, no Asians...just my preference." "Please don’t think this is racist but..." "You're cute for an Asian guy."

On this week's episode, my guest, actor and FIERCE cycling instructor, Marquis Johnson (he/him), and I delve into the problematic term "preference." It is a well known fact that digital Queer dating apps, like Grindr and Scruff, have a major racism problem. Even while apps like Grindr have launched campaigns to combat this type of behavior, it still persists. Studies have shown, this type of problem and behavior has largely stemmed from "whiteness," or proximity to it, being the ideal characteristic men search for--usually expressed by a white majority--on these apps. In addition to this type of racism, there is the problem of fetishizing and objectifying BIPOC men on these apps through stereotyped lenses (assuming black men are dominant and aggressive in the bedroom, Asian men are submissive, etc.) and seeing them as nothing more than a fantasy needing to be fulfilled. In talking, Marquis and I attempt to figure out the root of these "preferences," why they are often glossed over as just a sexual and attraction preference as opposed to overt racism and homophobia, and what is needed for the community to do--particularly cisgender white gay men--in order to move forward and truly make our community an inclusive place for all.

We also discuss things such as:

• The vocalization of racist and homophobic preferences (saying you aren't into certain races or are only into masculine men) and finding the root of them
• The impact of porn on gay men and how it perpetuates these stereotypes (BBC, Sub-Asian, etc.)
• The dynamics and conversations that come from being in an interracial relationship
• Race play and "F*ggot play" in the bedroom
• Cringeworthy racist and homophobic words/phrases that have been said during sex

Buckle up, because it's about to get very real.

Follow Marquis:
Instagram
Website

Organization of the Week: Brave Space Alliance
Learn
Donate

Resources for Further Learning:

• "'Sexual racism' is a major problem on queer dating apps like Grindr, and it may be causing depression in black men"
• "Asian-American man plans lawsuit to stop 'sexual racism' on Grindr"
• "So Many Gay Dudes Are Openly Racist On Dating Apps"
• Douchebags of Grindr

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"How can I be a better ally?" "What is 'performative allyship'?" "How was the system and media informed how I see those who are different from me?" "How can I start deconstructing the systems of patriarchy, racism, misogny, etc. for myself?"

On this week's episode, I'm joined by someone who is no stranger to speaking out and working every day to dismantle the "system." This is LOUD, BOSSY, GROSS, also known as Laura (they/them, she/her). Laura runs an instagram account where she posts videos that aim to help people live their best lives and also work to dismantle the oppressive systems that exist in their world. I wanted to have Laura on because not only is she such an inspiration (at only 19 years old, might I add) for so many people, but for her living in England, I wanted to discuss the difference in systemic oppression and racism on a more global scale.

On this episode, we discuss things such as:

• How to be better allies to Queer folk, BIPOC. "Allyship is not a destination or a once a week class."-Laura
• Why White Liberals can exhibit the worst kinds of micro-aggressive racism.
• "Preferences are Political"-Laura; why we are taught to have certain depictions of racial minorities in our brains
• The system of the media and how it teaches us to think what is beautiful and what we should think of people who look or live different from us

...and, as always, so much more. 

Follow Laura:
Instagram
Big Sister Hotline ft. Loud, Bossy, Gross

Organization of the Week: Black LGBTQIA+ Migrant Project
Learn
Donate

Resources for Further Learning:

“Here’s What’s a Good LGBTQ Ally Looks Like”

“6 Ways to Respectfully Be a Better LGBTQ Ally”

“How you can be an ally to the Black Lives Matter movement”

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What are kinks?" "Why is kink culture so taboo?" "Is it bad if I’m just ‘vanilla’?” "How do I feel safe when exploring kinkier sex?"

This episode contains content for mature audiences.

On this week's episode I interview, Broadway actor, funny man, and host of my favorite podcast, Josh Swallows Broadway, Josh Lamon (he/him). This week we discuss "kinks:" the exploration of, the taboos, types, and so much more. Kink culture has always been a very integral part of Queer history. However, there has been a taboo attitude that surrounded it largely due to our culture's discomfort with talking about sex and sexuality. 'It [was also] especially seen as taboo for queer people, who have been ostracized and outcast for not falling into heteronormative expectations of how we should love and form relationships (Slate.com)." Largely because of this, many Queer people, myself included, hold such shame around the exploration of sexuality, those who do participate in kink culture, and exploring their own kinky side. What people have failed to recognize is that kink was often one of the first was Queer people could find safe spaces to express themselves sexually outside of a norm that was set for our culture. "It is built on the foundation of embracing what can otherwise be shunned and misunderstood."

On this episode, Josh and I trade our own stories of early days of exploring our sexuality and our "kinky" side as well as discuss:

• Allowing yourself to explore the kinkier side of you
• The importance of planning kinkier sexual situations
• Exploring fetishes v.s. being the fetish
• Accepting the way all people choose to express their sexuality as well as your own

...and so many more Queeries.

Follow Josh:
Instagram
Twitter

Josh Swallows Broadway Podcast

Organization of the Week: COLOURS
Learn
Donate

Resources for further learning:
"Kink and BDSM are a part of radical queer history"
"QUEER KINK"
"Why Kink, BDSM, and Leather Should Be Included at Pride"

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"What makes a man?" "Why is our current version of masculinity problematic?" "How have we changed the way we live in order to fulfill certain gender roles?" "Why is assigning babies gender problematic?" "What if a boy doesn't want to be the textbook 'man'?"

On this week's episode, I interview Queer theatre maker, avid baker, and HAIM lover, Charlie Rodriguez (he/him/his). We tackle the complex idea of "masculinity": what is it? What is our definition of it? What are the problem's with how we have come to define it? We start with Charlie's first experience of being told to "butch up" and the universality of this experience  being the start of many gay men's or men who are naturally more "effeminate" battle with having to perform the gender role that was assigned them. We also discuss:

• Trauma and the effect that has on how we live in the world
• How we mold our bodies to fit whatever gender we are presenting or trying to attract
• The problem of masculinity and internalized homophobia within the gay community
• How we assign babies not just a gender before they're born, but a prescribed way of life and expectations for them to fulfill.
• The patriarchal structure of God and religion

Woof...and many more Queeries...Strap in.

Follow Charlie:
Instagram

Organization of the Week: Black Transmen Inc.
Learn
Donate

Resources for further learning:
"I Wore 18th-Century Clothing *Every Day for 5 YEARS & This Is What I Learned (Corsets Aren't Bad!)"
Read Amateur by Thomas Page McBee and The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs, PhD
"I’m Masculine Because I’m an Artist. Why Are You?" by Jake Young at TEDx Texas State
"Being Purple in a World of Reds and Blues" by Jorrel Javier at TEDx Texas State

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Edited by Addison McKissack

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón

"Is Drag like what it is on Drag Race?" "How'd you get your drag name?" "Why isn't there a Drag Queen Union?" "What do you hope to accomplish with your drag?"

On this week's episode, I sit down with New York City based drag queens Kiki Ball-Change (she/they in drag, he/him out of drag), Corma Kelley (she/they in drag, he/him out of drag), and Sequoia (he/they out of drag, she/her in drag) to discuss "queeries" such as these and many others that surround the art of being a drag artist. The queens trade stories about how they got into drag, how they got their names, and their inspirations for their drag personas. In addition, when discussing drag now and days, you can't help but acknowledge the large, sparkly, diamond headdress in the room that is RuPaul's Drag Race. We also discuss the impact of Drag Race on the industry as a whole as well as the world's view of drag now that it has gone "mainstream."

Follow these Queens:
Kiki Ball-Change
Sequoia
Corma Kelley

Watch Kiki's kitchen w/Kiki Ball-Change

Organization of the Week: Alibi Lounge
Donate

Resources for further learning:
“The First Drag Queen Was a Former Slave”
"Is It Time for Drag Queens to Unionize?"
Werk is Work! campaign

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL DRAG ARTISTS AND LOCAL LGBTQIA+ BARS.

Show Produced by Nick Eibler

Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard 
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard

Logo Design by David Pavón