Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? These are the basic questions of life. A large part of thriving as a single person is growing as a person. A large part of personal growth is answering these questions.

“The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by the answering.” – David Whyte

Who Are You?

Let’s start with the most basic question. Down deep, at your core, who are you? What do you believe about yourself? About God? What is important to you? How did you become the person you are? Did you purposely become who you are through conscious decisions or kind of drift into this version of you carried along by the currents of circumstances and other people’s expectations?

What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you good at? Are there things you need to work on? Get input from people you trust who know you well. You may have blind spots.

Who Do You Want to Be?

Is who you are who you want to be? If you are not happy with who you have become, can you change? Who do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to become?

“I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.” – Elon Musk

What changes do you need to make to become that person? Will you need to exercise more? Eat better? Get rid of some people on your life who are dragging you down? Build some new relationships with more positive people? Get some coaching or counseling? Create a budget? A life plan? Educate yourself about finances? Relationships? Health?

What Do You Want?

What is important to you? What do you want out of life? Where are your priorities? Do you want to please God? Make more money? Be in better health? Be more attractive? Have better relationships? What kind of relationships?

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

Is marriage what you want or do you want to stay single? Marriage is not something you should let yourself be talked into, get pressured into, or kind of drift into.

Why Do You Want to Stay Single?

If you want to stay single, why do you want to stay single? That is an important question. Is it because you are happily single and don’t want to complicate your life with an intimate relationship? Or, is it because you are scared to make a lifetime commitment or scared of having a marriage end in divorce?

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

Being happy as a single is a great reason to stay single. Fear is a terrible motivation to do or not do something. So, what is driving your decision to stay single, a zest for the single life or some sort of fear?

Why Do You Want to Get Married?

Likewise, if you want to get married, why do you want to get married? Is it a desire for intimacy?