Marriage in heaven? Sex in heaven? Hmmm….

Lot’s of marriage and sex questions have come in recently, so Dave takes quite a bit of time unpacking what our relationships with family and friends, spouses and siblings might look like on the other side of this life.

Ever wonder if God screws up and feels bad about it? Or when exactly Jesus realized he was God? If so, you’re not alone!

Mark has the opportunity to read Dave a personal letter from his wife, and we also learn how he is mauled by a police dog while dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Yep, it’s another can’t miss episode of Questions You Never Thought You Could Ask in Church, the only podcast you will ever need!

We’re taking a holiday break, but here’s a short Christmas Quickfire to hold you over until we return. Enjoy!

Why don’t most churches celebrate the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ? After all, it is part of the church calendar and the traditional Christmas story. It’s true. For reals.

Here is just a little of what to expect in part two of our Christmas extravaganza…

The Twelve Days of Christmas, wise men, Epiphany, Advent, Lent, hallelujah, lament, the second coming of Jesus, repentance, self-mortification, fasting, pregame Christmas joy vs. postgame Christmas joy, mourning, mistaken theology of Christmas carols, light, darkness, the historical practices of the church, lectionary, nativity, symbolism, traditions, Plato, gnosticism, Christmas Eve, a covert catechism, adventus, gnosis, antiphons, Welkin, Malachi, Dave’s favorite Christmas carol, and Mark makes up a new word: Catechismically.

If you actually took the time to read that insanely long run-on sentence, you should give yourself a treat. Perhaps a Christmas cookie, or a leftover Advent chocolate. Live it up before the 2019 diet resolution takes effect!

News Flash… Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas! No seriously, he wasn’t.

In this special Christmas episode we discuss the season before Christmas called Advent. What is it, and why is it important? We also hit a bit of church history, how and why Christmas is celebrated when it is, who the Wise men really were, and where the heck is “Orient R?”

From the immaculate conception to the winter solstice, take a walk down Christmas lane as Dave tells us about (and I quote) “when God becomes meat,” and recites the Christmas story found in Luke from memory (complete with a Charlie Brown Christmas music backdrop).

And yes, this is Part 1, so obviously a Part 2 is forthcoming. Please try and contain your excitement.

Note: There is a big difference between yokes and yolks. Are you weary and burdened this holiday season? Come and find some rest! Well, not with us, with Jesus. He likes his yolks over-easy and light. Okay, slight misinterpretation. We unpack all of this a bit this week, but please understand that this episode is quite comfy and cosy as well.

So pick up a hitchhiker (or call them an Uber) and crank it up!

What do Liam Neeson, faith healing, hyperbole, lobotomies, BB guns, and false hope all have in common? Well, nothing really. But they do all make an appearance in this week’s episode.

Better yet, ever wonder who Dave’s favorite desert island theologian might be? Augustine, Luther, Calvin, Aquinas, C.S. Lewis, Dallas Willard, or perhaps the esteemed N.T. Wright?

Oh yeah, Mark goes to Narnia and Dave gets pummeled with yet another Old Testament Quickfire. Good stuff. Better than Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson’s knees, son. Liam Neeson’s niece on his knees on E’s on a Nissan.

The Show Notes

Dave’s killer bible reading from this episode: Hebrews 10

What do we eat when death is no more? Are we the idols of God? Why should I go to church? These are just a few of the issues addressed in this week’s episode! We’ll take a journey into meta-cognition, the character attributes of God, and what it means to not worry and a whole lot more!

Also featuring… Beet and cabbage soup, God’s flurple, Salt ’n Peppa and Dave telling us the world’s worst bedtime story. You certainly don’t want to miss that! Well, maybe you do…

The Show Notes

In case you were wondering the scripture Dave recommended reading about forgiveness, it was Hebrews 10:26-31. feel free to read before and after as well – it’s all good stuff!

What is it about Thanksgiving dinner that makes us all a little goofy? Sure, there’s the ubiquitous turkey with all the fixings, but some people fancy Goat Cheese while others prefer Head Cheese. (C’mon, really? Head Cheese?!?!) Yeah, we know that makes no real sense at this point, so you’ll just have to listen. It’s quite important.

This week we have yet another fantastic round questions submitted by you, the listener. We discuss murder, euthanasia, ripping a rib out of a young woman, demonic forces, inner transformation, reading the Old Testament… We could go on here, but we shan’t.

Oh yeah, Dave perfectly nails his first ever Speed Round. It was quite impressive!

If we’re all descendants of Adam and Eve, why are there different races? Who are the 144,000 mentioned in Revelation? Who the heck answers Dave’s questions? This week we hit another great set of listener submitted questions as we discuss salvation, science, Darwin’s finches and sparkly-blue butt bread. Yep, that’s not a typo.

Any guess at Dave’s favorite plague of Egypt? Hello darkness my old friend…

Why did Paul say women shouldn’t speak in church? How do we know when God answers prayer? Why are there so many different bible translations? If these questions alone aren’t enough, we also have Zombie Tacos, Superhero Jesus, Pot Gardens, and Jesus talking to trees (but not in english). We also learn that Mark wears MC Hammer pants and Dave wants a leisure suit. Who knew?

By the way, Jesus probably didn’t actually drop an F-bomb, but he certainly did curse a ficus carica.