Questions You'll Wish You Asked

Hey loves,

Welcome to the rebooted Follow Your Fire podcast!

In this episode we’re talking about people pleasing, perfectionism, and how these qualities interface with anti-racism work (or a lack thereof.)

While wanting to be liked and seen as “good” is always a barrier between us and our most truthful selves, it’s downright harmful when it stops us from showing up and doing anti-racism work that is necessary to dismantle the oppressive systems we live in.

In this episode we’ll talk about:

- Why wanting to be liked and approved of comes so naturally

- How people pleasing is actually deceiving others

- How perfectionism can stop us from showing up to life (and anti-racism work)

- How to find the courage to inevitably screw up and fail forward

- How to navigate the uncertainty (“I don’t want to do the wrong thing”) with love

- Journal prompts to help you find your wise (and courageous) inner guide

It’s easy to wait to show up (to life AND anti-racism) until you know how to do things perfectly. But when we stop worrying about pleasing others or being imperfect, we become available to do the real work of changing ourselves and the world.

How can you show up to this moment in time truthfully, imperfectly, and with the willingness to get things wrong?

Tune into today’s episode to begin.

xo,

Melissa

www.followyourfirecoaching.com/

Contact Melissa Pennel at [email protected]

Join my email list here: eepurl.com/dr3Afz

Join the Follow Your Fire facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

Hey loves,

Things are changing!

The podcast is going through a major transition and I can’t wait to tell you about it! (This might also be known as podcast puberty – hopefully minus the zits.)

This show started under the premise of helping you (my dear listener) answer the question “what should I do with my life?” But even with that as the umbrella, at the end of the day my goal was to help you live with more purpose.

The ultimate goal was to help you get to the end of your life and KNOW that you lived it the way you wanted to – that you played big, took risks, spread your wings, and as Henry David Thoreau put it, “sucked all the marrow” out of life.

But lately I’ve realized that something was missing – a foundation that anyone needs to live with purpose - a feeling of freedom.

The tools to becoming unencumbered by the limiting beliefs that are keeping you small, telling you what you’re allowed (and not allowed) and basically informing every decision you make (that equate to your life.)

In order for you to live your biggest and juiciest life, you need to be free from the unseen cage.

And you guessed it, that’s TOTALLY what we’re doing here now – stay tuned.

Calling all wild and free spirits:

If you’ve been drawn to follow your fire, I KNOW that you have a soul call to tap into a bigger purpose, unleash your confidence, and walk in truth.

You long to create a life that is TRULY lived, wild, untamed, yet also fulfilling, balanced, and fun.

I know that you’ve been brought here on purpose and that the longing inside of your soul is no accident - it’s a potential. And let’s take back that word potential, shall we? It’s not a weight - it’s a possibility.

Right here and now, rather than being crushed by potential and what you “should” have been, why not unearth who you really are? Why not find your superpowers, your genius, your gifts, your weirdness, your creativity, your inner child, fly that freak flag, find your tribe, and your truth??

Here, we’re gonna unlearn societal beliefs and expectations that are keeping you stuck, expose the lies that you’ve been told that are really just keeping you caged, and rewire your mind and belief systems to create a life filled with meaning, purpose, and that feeling of wholeness that you’ve always ached for.

It’s time to stop living two lives: the one you actually have and the one you think you SHOULD have had. Enough! Right here and now, you are rising up and living THIS life. I will hand you the keys to unlock the truth, purpose, potential, and meaning inside your soul and life’s calling.

But it starts with you and it starts here and it starts now.

If you’re ready to walk with me in a spiritual, mental, and physical awakening, rise up in all of your power and actually change in your life, if you are ready to follow your fire, this is the place and the tribe for you.

I’m so happy you’re here.

Let’s do this.

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/

Contact Melissa Pennel at [email protected]

Join my email list here: http://eepurl.com/dr3Afz

Join the Follow Your Fire facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

“Love is the song over the wrong.” (Vanessa Dawn Soliz)

In the second installment of the short term “resilience” series, I interview mother, love warrior, and all-around incredible human, Cindi Soliz.

Cindi is the mother of five kids, one of whom was my childhood friend Vanessa Dawn Soliz, an insightful and beautiful person who died at the age of twenty in a motorcycle accident.

Losing a child is arguably one of the most difficult things one could experience, but Cindi’s story is not just one of pain, loss, and unending grief - it’s also a story of transformation, beauty, and the deep love of life that’s only possible when life’s preciousness is accepted alongside the risk.

Tune into our conversation to hear us discuss things like:

-How do you “let go” of what you can’t control about life? (Which is most of it?)

-What do you do with grief that is too big to carry?

-How can we go through deeply painful things and come out the other side more loving, alive, and fully human?

I am so grateful to have spent this hour with a woman I’m lucky enough to love and learn from in real life. May her story remind us all that the human spirit is capable of incredible resilience, transformation, and overcoming.

And may Vanessa’s freebird spirit remind us that no life, however short, is insignificant: that however difficult our circumstances may sometimes be, to remember that “love is the song over the wrong.”

This episode is dedicated to Vanessa Butterfly Dawn Soliz (December 15th 1985-June 25th 2006)

“If I could fly today,

I would die anyway,

If I could fly today,

I could find the words to say,

If I could fly today,

I would fly far away,

If I could fly today.”

(Vanessa Dawn Soliz)

**

The usual podcast theme (where people explore how they answered the question of “what should I do with my life?”) will be back soon. But as we navigate this difficult time of the Corona virus pandemic, join Cindi Soliz and I as we explore just how much the human spirit has gotten through before.

Keep going, my loves.

-Melissa

To submit questions for the podcast, pitch yourself as a guest, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

To join my weekly newsletter (and get fun behind the scenes of the podcast, musings on life, and typical life coach poop jokes)

eepurl.com/dr3Afz

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

The Corona Virus is no match for the human spirit.

Introducing a new (short-term) series of the podcast:

Follow Your Fire: The Resilience Diaries

In light of the difficult moment we’re in globally, we’ll be (briefly) turning away from the question of “what should I do with my life?” and focusing on a subsection of that question:

How do we overcome obstacles, difficulty, and the darkest points in our lives in order to move through them, recover, and find all that can lie on the other side of struggle?

Well to begin with, we reflect on all that we humans have lived through before.

In this first installment of the Resilience series we hear from counselor, combat veteran, and addiction survivor Kenny Hill Sr.

Our conversation centers on the addiction that almost killed him and the hard-won path to recovery that’s allowed him to be the father, husband, and all-around human that he always wanted to be.

In this episode we answer questions like:

How do our personal struggles relate to the gifts that we later bring to the world?

How are we transformed by the people, trauma, and loss in our past?

How do you balance vulnerability with surviving in difficult situations (like combat?)

How do small decisions add up to the greater arc of our lives?

What tools can we all use to get through hard times?

Not to worry: the usual podcast theme (where people explore how they answered the question of “what should I do with my life?”) will be back soon. But as we navigate this difficult time of the global Corona virus pandemic, join Kenny Hill Sr. and I as we explore just how much the human spirit has gotten through before.

Keep going, my loves.

Melissa

To submit questions for the podcast, pitch yourself as a guest, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

To join my weekly newsletter (and get fun behind the scenes of the podcast, musings on life, and typical life coach poop jokes)

eepurl.com/dr3Afz

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

Kenny has a private practice called Recovery Hill in Sacramento, Ca, where he works with people on substance abuse and trauma. Call or email Kenny today to learn more about his work. 916.995.8635 or [email protected]

You can also connect with Kenny Hill Sr. at the following links:

Website

https://www.recoveryhill.info/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/RecoveryHill.info/

Explore Kenny’s written work about trauma and addiction below:

https://www.recoveryhill.info/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Past-Trauma-Makes-Future-Choices-Article.pdf

https://www.recoveryhill.info/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Cautiously-Optimistic.pdf

"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.

My family and I could have made an impact on our town.

Their impact could have changed the nation

And I could indeed have changed the world."

(unknown)

Learn more about Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) at the link below

https://www.semel.ucla.edu/dual-diagnosis-program/News_and_Resources/PAWS

“In our days we will live like our ghosts will live.”

(Iron & Wine)

What do ghosts, hauntings, and Friday the 13th have to do with figuring out what to do with your life?

Way more than I realized at the start of this interview.

When I sought out to interview a paranormal investigator, I just thought it would be cool to have a Friday the 13th themed episode. I’d been feeling a bit burnt out and thought it would be fun to talk to someone with a VERY fringe interest (ghosts) - even if I don’t personally believe in them. (Or do I? It really depends on the day.)

I was connected with investigator Paul Dale Roberts and I figured I’d ask him for a few scary stories, hear about what must be an out-of-the-ordinary journey, and be on my merry little life coach way.

What I DIDN’T expect was to be connected with someone who has lived a life beyond all “normal” expectations.

I didn’t expect to find that Paul really loves his OTHER (government) job too - or that he’s held a litany of titles and roles that sound more like he’s lived ten lives than one: police officer, veteran, author, fire fighter, entertainer, journalist, speaker, animal rescuer...and these roles are only the tip of the Paul iceberg.

While we start in the present-day paranormal, we visit a variety of helpful topics on our winding journey, such as:

What to do when a career you worked hard for doesn’t work out

How to pay bills and also live a creative life of passion and adventure

How to deal with criticism and other people’s opinions

How to create the life you want - rather than waiting for opportunity to knock

How to live in a way that reverberates good after you’re gone

Oh, and we totally had a paranormal event on our call. Don’t believe me? Well I’m a skeptic too, but listen for yourself - and you be the judge.

In this week of a full moon, recession, no toilet paper, and the threat of a dangerous pandemic the world over, there’s a lot that we humans have to be tense over.

But in the midst of all that feels wrong and scary, I offer you this interview as an unexpected balm. Paul Dale Roberts and his earnest story of being true to himself lifted my dampened spirits, and I’m guessing that they’ll lift yours too.

And an important quote referenced in this episode:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

To submit questions for the podcast, pitch yourself as a guest, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

To join my weekly newsletter (and get fun behind the scenes of the podcast, musings on life, and typical life coach poop jokes)

http://eepurl.com/dr3Afz

Find the amazing Paul Dale Roberts at all of the links below:

Halo Paranormal Investigations

www.cryptic916.com/

Sacramento Paranormal Help

www.facebook.com/HaloParanormalInvestigations/

Email: [email protected]

Sacramento Paranormal Haunted Hotline: 916 203 7503

And to see a picture of Paul as the disco king:

https://www.valcomnews.com/former-pocket-area-resident-was-sacto%e2%80%99s-%e2%80%9cdisco-king%e2%80%9d/

"The good news: you’re a hero.

The bad news: you have to save yourself.”

(Sam Lamott)

Dark and light, grief and hope - Ruben Briseno Reveles is a master of duality.

By day he’s the general manager of a bustling Sacramento restaurant - by night he’s an artist, photographer, and self-proclaimed student of beautiful things. But are these two roles as different as they might seem? And how do any of us navigate identity with seemingly contradicting parts of ourselves and our stories?

Tune into this week’s episode to hear a story of loss, redemption, and the outcomes that are possible when pain is transformed into healing.

Ruben and I discuss how losing his mother at four days old and having a painful childhood meant that he wasn’t dreaming as a kid - he was just trying to survive. We also talk about what it’s like to grow up as a child of immigrants, be caught between cultures, and how venturing away from your roots can also someday lead you back to them.

Today’s episode is for you if you’ve struggled with not fitting in, wondered where your artistic ability might lie, questioned how to balance art with work, how the pain of your past could ever actually be a force for good, or if you’re wondering how to be the creator of your own story.

Speaking of creating your story, below are some quotes that we mention in the episode to help you along. Keep following those fires, my peaches - and don’t forget to come subscribe to my blog for podcast back story, tips on emotional intelligence, and weekly guidance for how you can follow YOUR fire (and live a life you’ll look back on with pride.)

Subscribe to the blog here :

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.” (Lao Tzu)

"Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid." (Maybe said by Albert Einstein but nobody seems to actually know)

If you like what you hear, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast!

To submit questions for the podcast, join my mailing list, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/melissa-pennel-life-coach

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

To see my news appearance (mind drama) referenced in this episode:

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/news/2020/2/24/doings-scary-things-how-to-speak-in-public-with-confidence-news-clip

To contact Ruben Bresino Reveles (and see some of his incredible art) you can find him here:

https://www.rubenreveles.com/about

https://www.instagram.com/rurevel/

“The creative adult is the child who survived.”

(Ursula K. Le Guin)

Ilana Blasingame has a job in TV that’s dynamic, collaborative, and uniquely ties together the values that she holds in the rest of her life.

Her creative childhood ideas have found purchase in her adult life, which is pretty much the dream, right?

But how did she get there, and what can we learn from her path?

How did she hold onto her creative dreams amidst burnout, imposter syndrome, and uncertainty about her path?

Tune into the latest episode to hear answers to questions like:

Do we need to have burning bush moments about the big choices in our life?

If we don’t feel really SURE about a choice, does that mean it’s not right?

If we’re not sure...do we wait for the epiphany?

We also discuss:

How to go with the flow and do the next right thing at work (and in life)

How every job and experience we have is nurturing a larger skill set

How motherhood changes perspective (and can help you give less f*cks)

How to think about yourself less - and what kind of value you want to offer in life MORE

If you like what you hear, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast!

To submit questions for the podcast, join my mailing list, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

www.followyourfirecoaching.com/read-me

or [email protected]

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

Keep following those fires, peaches.

Today, Mitch Steiger has his dream job as a lobbyist with the California Labor Federation - a place where his whole purpose is to make conditions safer and more secure for every other worker in the state.

But his career path didn’t start there - not even close.

At the beginning of the road Mitch had many passions: climate health, animal welfare, politics, and music, just to name a few - so how did he choose a direction? Did he have to sacrifice one interest to pursue another? And what obstacles did he face on the way?

Tune into the latest episode to hear about:

- How taking the long view on your life can help you choose a direction

- How the labor movement (and worker’s rights) affect ALL of us - regardless of our job

- How a “growth mindset” and being the beginner can serve you in any area

- How Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs relates to your chosen career (and feeling of purpose)

- How to be bad at something before you're good at it

- How to make tough choices that ultimately get you closer to your desired path

A disclaimer: this episode was a learning experience with my recording equipment and the sound of our conversation isn’t the best quality - but it’s clearly understandable and won’t blow your eardrums, so I’m still sharing it so that you can benefit from Mitch’s journey.

This is a gift of imperfection from my heart to yours! (Check out the episode intro for a lesson on how to be imperfect and do things anyway: Yes, even you.)

If you like what you hear, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast!

To submit questions for the podcast, join my email list, or learn more about coaching, email me at [email protected]

Follow the link below to leave comments about this episode, check out the blog, get tips about how to choose a direction, and hear some good potty jokes (sometimes they're good - I make no promises.)

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

Until next time - keep following your fires, my peaches.

As a little girl, Tamara Carter always wanted to be a lawyer - and unlike most childhood dreams, this one actually stuck; she’s now a successful attorney practicing in California.

But the road to her goals looked far different than she thought it would: detours, obstacles, and changes in perspective have faced her at every turn.

Follow along with Tamara’s journey as we discuss questions like:

How do our childhood selves affect our choices?

How does financial responsibility relate to choosing a path ?

How do our parents influence who we become?

Can women truly “have it all” and balance successful careers with motherhood?

How do you persist when your journey looks way different than you thought it would?

Tune in for a story of persistence, resilience, and fierce motherly love that might just teach more about your own path too.

If you like what you hear, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast!

To submit questions for the podcast, join my email list, or learn more about coaching, email me at [email protected] or click the link below.

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

Today, Curtis Buzanski is a respected addiction and trauma therapist, but throughout his journey he's been called many other things:

Addict, criminal, trucker, poet: the road to his present day vocation was paved with unexpected turns.

Tune in for a story of recovery, perseverance, and introspection that might just teach you more about your own path too.

If you like what you hear, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast!

To submit questions for the podcast, join my mailing list, or start your coaching journey, you can reach me at:

https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/read-me

Join the Follow Your Fire Facebook group here:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116244026470651/

To connect with Curtis Buzanski find him at:

https://www.curtisbuzanski.com/