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In this "Quiet Confessions" mini-episode, I continue my deep dive into my almost month-long stay at the University of North Carolina (UNC) Chapel Hill. Covering November 23rd and 24th, 2022, I detail the physical and emotional exhaustion of being "fresh" into my second hospitalization. 

From a jarring midnight maintenance visit that made me question my own existence to spending my baby's first Thanksgiving in a psychiatric unit, I explore the themes of detachment, the search for "normalcy" through pop culture traditions, and the struggle to find a physical cause for my mental health crisis.

Key Points

• The Reality of Inpatient Logistics: I experienced a distressing incident where maintenance workers entered my room at 12:30 AM without warning to fix the heat, highlighting the feelings of invisibility and lack of agency I often felt as a patient.
• Physical vs. Mental Symptoms: Exhausted from weeks of crying and unable to eat anything but Ensure, I underwent medical evaluations to rule out physical causes.
• Holiday Isolation: Spending Thanksgiving away from my seven-year-old and my new baby, I used the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and FaceTime as tethering points to remain connected to my family.
• The Therapeutic Journey: While the overall experience was "literal hell," I felt that the UNC facility ultimately was the safest environment of my three hospitalizations, despite the initial "bleak" outlook. 

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

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 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

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