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In this "Quiet Confession," I’m taking us back to my second day of perinatal psychiatric hospitalization at UNC Chapel Hill. 

After recently finding the journal I’d kept during my treatment, I reflect on the stark difference between my clinical, "robot-like" recorded entries and the emotional turmoil I was actually experiencing at the time. 

I describe the rigid routines of the unit, the weight of a potential psychosis diagnosis, and the powerful moment a doctor offered to "hold hope" for me when I had none left.

Key Takeaways

• The Clinical Perspective: Chelsea’s journal reads like a "Captain’s Log," focusing on medication, meals, and sleep rather than their internal feelings.
• Morning Routines: Days began at 7:00 a.m. with breakfast and mandatory vitals checks, which remains a sensory trigger for them today.
• Psychiatric Consultations: On their first Monday, they met a team of specialists who initially discussed a potential psychosis diagnosis due to their extreme paranoia and delusions.
• The "Scaffolding" Struggle: In Occupational Therapy (OT), they practiced "scaffolding"—breaking down basic tasks like brushing teeth into minute steps—though they felt physically unable to perform them at the time.
• Holding Hope: A pivotal moment occurred when a doctor offered to "hold hope" for them until they were ready to take it back.

Relevant Links

• Quiet Confessions Substack: For deep dives into the clinical journal entries.
• Postpartum Support International (PSI): Information on support groups, the Alma program, and peer mentoring.
• Instagram: Follow for updates

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send a text

When former doctor and EFT coach Cyra Baria became pregnant for the first time, she never imagined the heartbreak that would follow. After a traumatic pregnancy loss at 24 weeks, she faced deep grief, guilt, and isolation in a system that didn’t know how to support her. 

Years later, through postpartum depression, infertility, and the move to a new country, she slowly found her way back, not by forgetting the pain, but by learning to live with it.

Together, we talk about loss, resilience, the myths surrounding “moving on,” and the importance of giving grief a home.

Key Takeaways

• Medical training doesn’t protect you from emotional trauma, and it can even make self-blame worse.
• The term “cervical insufficiency” may be medical, but it doesn’t define a person’s worth or motherhood.
• Grief is not just about loss;  it’s about love with nowhere to go.
• Healing often begins when we learn to bring safety back into our bodies.
• EFT can help calm the nervous system by communicating safety to the brain and body.
• Reclaiming your power doesn’t mean forgetting your pain; it means learning to live in your truth again.

Soundbites

• “Grief is not just about the loss. It’s all the love that has nowhere to go.” — Cyra Baria
• “Cervical insufficiency made me feel like the most insufficient person in the world. But it’s just a term — it doesn’t define who we are.” — Cyra Baria
• “Even when I felt powerless, I was still fighting — for my voice, my children, and myself.” — Cyra Baria
• “The bear isn’t here right now. EFT helped me tell my brain that I’m safe.” — Cyra Baria
• “You don’t have to be fixed to be whole. You can hold grief and joy at the same time.” — Chelsea Myers

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch

Send a text

After returning from my first hospitalization, realizing I was not any better, I took a leap of faith. In this episode, I recount the whirlwind that led me from my home in Vermont to one of the few specialized perinatal psychiatric units in the country: UNC Chapel Hill. 

I discuss the crushing guilt of leaving my family, overcoming a lifelong phobia of flying, and the magical thinking that convinced me this was the place that would finally fix me.

Key Points and Takeaways

• The Gap in Care: I realized that standard inpatient stays were not enough for my perinatal mental health needs.
• Specialized Resources: I focused on the rare specialized units in the U.S., specifically the one at UNC Chapel Hill.
• The Logistics of Crisis: The rapid process included booking flights, securing a bed, and the emotional toll of a 24 hour turnaround.
• The Physical Environment: The UNC unit featured weighted plastic furniture and communal day rooms, though it was under construction at the time.
• Spiritual Crisis: I wrestled with magical thinking and the heavy question of why these struggles happen. 

If you are in immediate mental health crisis, call or text 988 for assistance from trained professionals.

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch

Send us Fan Mail

When Stella Faulkner became a mom, she had no idea how much old trauma and new stress would collide. She joined a partial hospitalization program at The Motherhood Center after reaching her breaking point, which ultimately saved her life. But Stella didn’t stop there. She turned her recovery into action, becoming a certified peer specialist, postpartum doula, and founder of DOWA Health, an app designed to make mental health tools and support accessible to all parents, no matter where they are in their journey.

In this episode of Quiet Connection, Stella honestly shares her story, why she rejects the label "PMAD," the impact of cultural stigma on her mental health, what skills worked for her, and the vision behind DOWA. This conversation is about resilience, accessibility, and the power of mothers supporting mothers.

🗝️Key Takeaways

• Trauma resurfacing in parenthood isn’t always a PMAD—old wounds can collide with new stress.
• Accessibility is one of the biggest barriers in maternal mental health. Programs like partial hospitalization can save lives, but they aren’t widely available.
• Skills like CBT and DBT don’t work for everyone—finding individualized, multimodal approaches matters.
• Peer support, community, and hearing another mother’s voice can be life-saving.
• DOWA Health is reimagining support by offering tools, coaching, and peer voices right in your pocket.

🔊Soundbites

• “The program saved my life. EMDR helped me recover.” – Stella
• “I don’t like calling it a PMAD, because for many of us it’s old trauma resurfacing, not just motherhood.” – Stella
• “Sometimes all you need is to hear another mom’s voice saying, ‘I’ve been there, too.’” – Stella
• “What you’re sharing is not small—it can change the trajectory of someone else’s life.” – Stella

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

In response to an overwhelming listener poll, Chelsea begins a highly requested series detailing their three psychiatric inpatient experiences following the birth of their youngest child. In this first installment, Chelsea recounts the descent into an acute mental health crisis in 2022, a period marked by profound detachment and a desperate need for someone else to "take the reins".

Key Takeaways

• The Decision for Inpatient Care: Chelsea emphasizes that reaching out for help is an act of bravery, driven by the realization that they were no longer safe and physically incapable of functioning.
• The Reality of the "Wait": Psychiatric beds are often scarce, requiring patients to wait days in emergency rooms without personal belongings or cords before being transported—often by ambulance—to a facility.
• Clinical Environment vs. Therapeutic Hope: Chelsea highlights the jarring nature of inpatient units where everything is bare and weighted for safety, and clocks or calendars are absent, which can lead to a loss of sense of reality.
• The "Holding Cell" Model: Many inpatient facilities are underfunded and understaffed, functioning more as a safe "holding cell" to prevent self-harm rather than providing intensive emotional healing or therapy.
• Solidarity in Crisis: Despite the chaos, connecting with other mothers in the unit, even through something as simple as watching a Studio Ghibli movie, provided a vital lifeline during the stay.
• Post-Discharge Instability: Being cleared for discharge does not necessarily equal recovery; Chelsea shares the harrowing reality of returning home while still in the throes of panic and nausea, leading to a second hospitalization just days later.

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

In this refreshing and energized conversation, Chelsea sits down with George Ajjan—a "regular dad" by day and a singer-songwriter known as The Ajjancy by night. George represents a vital but often silent minority in the parenting space: the dads. He opens up about the "scary as hell" moment an infant is first placed in a father’s arms and the unique challenge of supporting a partner through postpartum struggles while navigating your own feelings of being "clueless".

Whether you're a parent or a creator, George’s message of "not being alone" and the power of finding your own voice will resonate deeply.

Key Takeaways

• The Dad's Internal Pivot: While society expects dads to be "in control" (the IKEA-crib-assembly mode), the actual arrival of a human life often leaves fathers feeling frozen and unprepared.
• Music as a Processing Tool: George writes songs not just for his children, but as a way to "unburden" and process his own complex feelings about being away for work or feeling disconnected from an infant.
• Modeling Whole Personhood: It is a responsibility to show children that parents are whole people with lives and passions apart from them; "rest as resistance" applies to creative output, too.
• The "No Regret" Philosophy: Life is like a game of billiards; every previous move, no matter how much we wish it were different, aligned the balls for the family we have today.

Sound Bites

• "Dads try to play it cool... and then when they put that human life in your arms, you realize you don't have it."
• "The love songs become dedicated and inspired by my children or even the idea of parenthood."
• "Every single thing in your life, if you regret it... you're basically saying the kids I have today, it would be okay for them not to exist."
• "We owe it to those artists to create blasphemy on their works because if they didn't do that... they never would have become what we loved."
• "I'll teach you all I can and you might think that I'm a hero, but I'm just a man."

Relevant Links & Resources

• The Ajjancy Official 
• Music: Listen on Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube
• Instagram: @TheAjjancy
• Recommended Film: About Time (A reflection on time, family, and no regrets) 

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when a perinatal therapist and loss mom "slides into the inbox" of a fellow therapist and author? You get a powerful collaboration designed to help families navigate the unique trauma of the NICU. In this episode, Chelsea sits down with Emily Souder and Mahaley Patel to discuss their new guided journal, Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition. 

Mahaley shares her heartbreaking and transformative journey through the loss of her daughter, Saachi, and how that experience led her to pursue surrogacy and eventually parent two "babies six months apart". 

Emily discusses her background in PICU trauma and how she uses her "garden witch" energy to help parents slow down and claim their stories. 

Together, they explore the concept of "The Both/And"—rejecting toxic silver linings while embracing the beautiful, strange connections (and signs like dragonflies, butterflies, and crows!) that emerge from the darkest moments of parenting. 

🔑Key Takeaways

• Rejecting Silver Linings: The guests discuss why "silver linings" can be harmful, as they often feel like a justification for a child's death. Instead, they advocate for the "Both/And"—holding grief and creativity simultaneously.
• The Universal Impact of the NICU: Whether a stay lasts for hours or months, or whether the outcome is bringing a baby home or leaving without one, the experience is valid and impactful.
• Signs as Connection: From butterflies and dragonflies to snails and crows, the episode highlights how paying attention to "signs" can help grieving parents feel connected to something bigger.
• Partner Stories Matter: A major goal of their new book was to include the often-forgotten perspective of partners in the NICU journey.

💬Sound Bites

• "The answer to an unasked question is always no... the worst thing that could happen is they say no."
• "How do you tell a person in 30 seconds... that they are the reason that you're still breathing?" (Note: This is a cross-reference to Chelsea's reflection in the package context).
• "I think that silver linings become those reasons... I cannot stand when people give me a silver lining because what it says to me is that my daughter's death was justified."
• "Shame dies when we bring it out of the darkness and shine a light on it."

Resources:

• The Books: 
  • Birth Story Brave: NICU Edition by Emily Souder
  • Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience by Emily Sou

This episode discusses topics that may be triggering for some individuals. Please check the show notes for more information and be mindful of your own mental health and comfort levels.

Odd Moms On Call is a podcast for moms navigating the chaos of current events. Join our diverse panel of moms from across the U.S. and Canada, breaking down how politics, policies, and culture impact our families—and how we talk to our kids about them. Honest, unfiltered, and insightful, we're making sense of the world, one conversation at a time. 

Listen on BuzzSprout!

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

In this week’s brain dump, Chelsea celebrates a major milestone: 10,000 podcast downloads. Recorded while navigating a household of sick children and their own chronic illness flare, Chelsea explores the contrast between a 2022 mental health crisis and a redemptive 37th birthday trip to see Brandi Carlile. 

From a "Friday the 13th" identity theft scare to the healing power of live music at TD Garden, this confession is an honest look at honoring your needs while celebrating the glimmers in the grit. 

Key Takeaways

• Celebrating 10k: The podcast reached 10,000 downloads, proving that creating a safe, sacred space for birth and trauma stories resonates globally.
• The Reality of Chronic Illness Parenting: Chelsea shares the struggle of parenting while immune-compromised during a "cesspool" of school germs and sub-zero Vermont temperatures.
• The "Friday the 13th" Birthday: A cautionary tale about a hacked DoorDash account and the importance of bank fraud protection during a vacation.
• Redemptive Experiences: Seeing the same musical artist in a healthy state vs. a state of crisis can serve as a powerful marker for recovery and progress.
• The Healing Power of Music: Musical "one-two-three punches" (like Carlile’s You Without Me, The Mother, and The Story) can facilitate essential emotional releases.
• Honoring Your Needs: Being transparent about limitations and chronic illness helps find "your people"—those who offer support rather than judgment. 

Resources

• Brandi Carlile "Bramily"
• Legal Seafood Harborside: Chelsea's Top 5 birthday meal recommendation.
• Quiet Connection Germany: Shout out to my listener in Frankfurt am Main, Hesse Germany! 

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

In this vulnerable session, Chelsea sits down with French Canadian wellness coach and author Sandrine Lavoie-Filion to discuss the profound identity shift that often accompanies motherhood. Despite years of experience as a kinesiologist coaching pregnant and postpartum women, Sandrine reveals the stark difference between theoretical knowledge and the internal reality of becoming a mother.

Sandrine opens up about her unexpected journey into motherhood, the shame she felt when her initial reaction to a positive pregnancy test was fear rather than joy, and the challenges of bonding with a baby who didn't initially "feel" like hers. She describes how she used journaling to navigate postpartum meltdowns and the loss of her former self, eventually turning those private reflections into her book, Uncensored First Time Mom Confessions. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt like "the problem" while navigating the complexities of their new parental identity. 

🔑Key Takeaways

• Theory vs. Experience: Even experts can feel overwhelmed; Sandrine discovered that knowing the physiology of postpartum is entirely different from living through the hormonal and identity shifts.
• The Complexity of the "Positive" Test: It is valid and common to feel scared, overwhelmed, or even shameful when learning of a pregnancy, especially if it wasn't planned or if you previously questioned your desire to have children.
• Delayed Bonding is Normal: Unconditional love isn't always instantaneous; for many, it is a relationship that grows over time through the routine of care and mutual discovery.
• The "Golden Hour" Myth: Labor is physically and mentally exhausting; Sandrine highlights that wanting to sleep rather than have a "magical" bonding moment immediately after birth is a valid reaction to sleep deprivation.
• Journaling as a Healing Tool: Putting thoughts on paper allows parents to externalize their "spiraling" thoughts, navigate the root causes of meltdowns, and release the shame associated with their feelings.

💬Sound Bites

• "I realized now that there's a big difference between what you can know about pregnancy and postpartum versus how it actually feels."
• "Who would have thought that becoming a mother brought so many questions about yourself, but also the type of mother you want to be?"
• "I had that pregnancy test saying I was pregnant. And I was just scared, overwhelmed, and I didn't know how to feel."
• "I think it's unrealistic to say like, this is a new human being and I'm supposed to have this unconditional love for him. I don't know him."
• "When you write it down, when it's on paper, it's so much easier because you can go back to it... understand it better... and ask yourself questions."

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch 

Send us Fan Mail

In this special Q&A edition of Quiet Confessions, Chelsea is joined by their husband, Ben, to tackle a question sent in from Megann of Pondering Paretnhood Podcast. It's a situation many long-term partners face but few discuss openly: How do you prioritize your marriage during the "roommate phase"? 

Having been together for 19 years and navigated everything from early-career stress to significant medical and psychiatric trauma, Chelsea and Ben pull back the curtain on the cycles of their relationship.

 Key Takeaways

• The "Roommate Phase" is a Cycle: Long-term relationships naturally ebb and flow; recognizing that these periods are temporary helps remove the fear and inadequacy that often accompany a lack of physical intimacy.
• Choosing to Grow Together: Connection doesn't just happen; it requires an intentional choice to remain invested in each other, especially when energy levels are low due to trauma or illness.
• "Pebbling" and Non-Physical Intimacy: When physical energy is depleted, intimacy can be maintained through small gestures—like suggesting a book to read together or performing acts of service during health flares.
• The Value of Professional Support: Even couples who are "good at communicating" can benefit from therapy to strengthen their skills and develop a deeper toolkit for navigating challenges.
• Prioritizing the United Front: Having shared priorities—like putting the family first—creates a secure foundation that allows a relationship to survive stressful stretches.
• Grounding in "What’s Not Wrong": Using DBT skills to focus on current comforts (like a warm house during a freeze) helps combat the negative headspaces that can strain a marriage.

Support the show

 Special Thanks to Steve Audy for the use of our theme song: Quiet Connection

Want to be a guest on Quiet Connection - Postpartum Mental Health?
Send Chelsea a message on PodMatch