Nikou Nayebzadeh

Robin Williams once said:

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."

I can totally relate to this quote myself because when I was a "follower", someone who followed groups in order to not feel alone, I felt the loneliest and most alone I had ever felt.

So I stopped following groups I didn't enjoy spending time with. In fact, I started to enjoy spending time with myself. I stopped lying to myself that I was having fun when I weren't. I asked myself the following questions:

Who do I want to hang out with?

Who am I?

Once you know who are you, you'll attract the right people. You'll attract people who want to spend time with you because they like YOU, not the character you've created.

Thus, the second question was more important to me because I realized I am someone who enjoys talking about sports, who loves to joke around, to act crazy around folks I like, to support others.. and when I was hanging out with someone who made me feel depressed, and made me reflect excessively about what I said, I knew that something was WRONG.

Now, I have an amazing bestfriend with whom I can act crazy with, can have eloquent discussions with, can joke around with, can support excessively, can be serious with, and can love with all my heart. I feel relatively and incomparably happier than I did when I was hanging out with that group in order to cure that "loneliness" which ironically, only worsened. Thus, I'm glad I left that group.

So if you feel happy when you're alone or live alone, that means you enjoy your own company more than you enjoy the company of the people around you.

Once someone whose company you start to enjoy more than the company of yourself appears, you certainly will pick the former.

What is the most clever life hack you've learned

Inam Ullah

I watched a documentary where a bunch of Italian students and filmmakers printed the 'Google' logo on a small white rented car and then went to the busiest intersections of Rome and parked in the middle of the road, surrounded the car with 'witches hats/traffic cones' and just stood there with noteboards and pens and a few cameras and stuff and spent over 2 hours there without a single person bothering them. They did similar ridiculous things whilst pretending to represent other huge companies and never got in trouble. The point of the doco was to explain that if you represent one of these companies that everyone knows, you can get away with almost anything and people just leave you alone or assume that you are allowed to do what ever you want.

What are the biggest lies that society tells us?

Agnes Mitter
LIFE GETS HARDER

'You think life is hard in puberty? You'll see what hard is when you're out of school.'

'You think your job is stressfull? You'll see what stressful is when you have a newborn.'

'You think you don't have enough energy taking care of a newborn? You'll see how life is running after a toddler.'

'You think you don't have time for yourself with your toddler? Try having two little kids.'

'You are overwhelmed with having two little kids? Enjoy them now before they turn into aggressive teenagers.'

Every stage in my life, when something was hard for me, instead of just listening to what I have to say I got these sentences from everyone. They didn't help at all, I just felt weak for suffering when really my problem is just a joke compared to what's ahead. These sentences not only ruined the present as they did not help overcome that little thing that was hard in that stage of life, they also made me fear of what's ahead.

I had a hard time and depression as teenager, it DID get a lot better when I started working. My job was very stressful, so after a few years I was really happy to go on parental leave to raise our girl. Even if she was very tiring as newborn with her colics. But also this got a lot better when she turned three months, but I can't enjoy her being the wonderful, cute, wiggly baby she is, because apparently, according to people, once she crawls it will get so much more tiring etc. I also didn't get why teenagers are supposed to be a nightmare as my stepsons are easygoing and kind boys.

If someone is going through a short hard episode (puberty, taking care of newborn etc.) just listen to them, tell them it will get better, because usually that's what happens in life. You get stronger, you get more experience and you get nearer in fulfilling your dreams.

My life gradually became more wonderful, even if every new episode brought new challenges. I stopped listening to people :)

How can one tell if someone is smart?

Simone Beauvoir

When they show me how to reframe questions.

Here are two examples from a biotech summit  [1]I attended in University of Cambridge just this week. 
 
When a panel of female speakers were asked if women in science could "have it all" - many riffed on tropes such as following your heart, work-life balance, etc. But one said: "It's not about whether you can have it all, but what you define as your 'all'." Powerful.
When asked to predict the future of biotechnology, an esteemed panel speculated about fancy solutions: antibodies, cancer research, etc. When it came to an award-winning haematologist (Dr. Helen Lee [2]), she said: "We can predict the future only by solving present problems." Then, she demonstrated how distilled water, instead of a sophisticated vaccine, was the best way to reduce cholera infections in developing African nations. "It is the pebbles, and not the boulders, that trip us," she said - in sharp contrast to the room's buoyant projections of a hazy future.
It is easy to confuse intelligence with credentials (academic qualifications), knowledgeability (knowing a lot), learnability (ability to learn new things), and passion for abstract thinking (interested in meta-cognitive reflection, etc.) I know of many people who went to top universities, who excelled in international tests and state exams, who did very well professionally, and pursued high ranks in academia. But to me, all of these are not definitive hallmarks of a person's intelligence: if you are lucky enough to have above average cognitive ability, a high amount of drive, and was born in a supportive environment that encouraged learning - all these traditional indicators of intelligence would not be hard to achieve. 

Thus, for me the definitive test of intelligence is when a person - regardless of age, background, or education - demonstrates the rarest skill of all: insight.

How can I learn to be more fun?

Liam Hayes
Hi there, here are a few tips that can help you join in on the fun when you’re out with friends or acquaintances.

Stop Using Social Scripts

Questions like “How are you?” and “Where are you from?” get tossed around pretty regularly in social events, and the repetitiveness of these questions can sometimes make conversations a bit dull. But we can level up our small talk by asking fun and meaningful questions.

Try:

What’s your story?
What has been the best part of your week so far?
Working on anything exciting lately?

Fronting

When you point your head, torso, and feet towards the person with whom your speaking, it communicates that they have your undivided attention. Fronting is a universal sign for “I’m listening,” and it communicates respect. People who don’t do this are seen as unfriendly and less likeable.

Add, Don’t Subtract

In conversation, always try to add to what they are saying. You can do things like add your own info, give your thoughts or ideas.

Try to stay away from subtracting behavior, such as criticism, gossip, or being judgmental. When you keep things positive, you make a better impression on those around you.

Good luck! You got this!

Facial Expressions: What can you learn about a person by just looking at their face?

Richard Muller
Yes, unless that person is a top actor or a top poker player, or a top politician.

I've discussed this at some length with Paul Ekman, the modern expert (and the inspiration for the TV series "Lie to Me"). All of us make inadvertent micro expressions, that other people read. Some people are extremely good at it. Ekman told me that he could easily find an expert by going to a local police station and asking for their "best interrogator." Such a person was invariably someone who could tell when a person was telling the truth or not. Such people really do exist.

Ekman himself had become an expert, not by instinct, but by study and self-training. Yet, he said, he could not successfully judge professional poker players. They were the best he had met at both reading the faces of others, and hiding their own. The very best not only hid their own, but gave false signals to others to mislead them. Their "tells" were extremely subtle, since they were competing with other experts at reading micro expressions. I immediately was confirmed in my prior decision not to play cards for money.

A really good movie actor takes advantage of these micro expressions to convey to an audience innermost (but in this case false) feelings. The audience doesn't even know why the actor is so compelling, because we are not trained to pick up these expressions consciously. This is why there has always been advice (especially to young women) to avoid dating actors. They can too readily mislead you about their feelings.
I recommend the movie Birdman in which actors are playing actors; look at the skill they use when they are portraying an actor acting, to make you realize that they are just acting, but when they are not acting as if they are acting, they use their full skills to make you forget they are acting. (I hope you can follow that!)  [Spoiler alert] The one exception in this movie is when Riggan (played by Michael Keaton) talks about how his father abused him; he uses all of his acting skills, without holding back, and as a result not only is Mike convinced (played by Edward Norton), but so are we.

Recognizing the skill of professional actors led me to a temporary conviction that professional actors should not be allowed to be politicians. When I suggested this as a law, my wife pointed out the flaw. Many of the best actors never become actors; they go right into politics. I'm currently reading the wonderful book Dreadnought by Robert Massie, and he is describing how Bernhard von Bulow, German chancellor before WWI, exploited his skill at this.

There is a famous quote, whose origin is actually not settled (attributed to every famous humorist in history), that the key to success is the ability to fake sincerity. 

Daily Life: What is the most valuable skill a person can have for their entire life?

Lidia Stanton
Assertiveness (even if you're an introvert) will help you gain respect and save your dignity when you're under verbal attack from an angry or unreasonable person. 
 
Here's a little trick:
Respond calmly using as few words as possible. Use simple sentence structure and key words only - going round the houses shows anxiety and indicates you may not know what you're talking about or what you're trying to say.
Finish on a strongest word/phrase you can think of that summarises your point (e.g. "I said many times before I have dyslexia. No one can argue against learning disabilities", or "And for this reason I find you misinformed")
Meet the other person's gaze and hold it for as many seconds as you can until you start feeling uncomfortable.
Do not say anything else, even when provoked. It is incredibly important that you don't.
The awkward silence will make the aggressive person say lots of things in return (first of all, to fill the awkward gap in communication, then to counter-attack you) but none of their statements will have the same psychological effect as the last thing you said followed by your silence and gaze.
You've won. The first person to speak after you've created the powerful silence loses. They will also know it and find it incredibly difficult to deal with your assertiveness. They will crumble.


Now think of different media personalities who use the trick all the time, or interviews with politicians. Some celebrities unfortunately abuse it, just think of Simon Cowell.

Can living alone ever be joyous?

https://www.quora.com/Can-living-alone-ever-be-joyous

What is the probability that I can evade a chase if a police helicopter is following me?

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-probability-that-I-can-evade-a-chase-if-a-police-helicopter-is-following-me

Josh Siegel

A friend owned a convertible 2000 Lamborghini (car company) Diablo Roadster ($350k new). We were going out to dinner and as he parked I commented on him leaving the top off and asked was it safe?

He then proceeded to put a $100.00 bill on the seat and we went to dinner. Sure enough, it was still there when we returned.

We repeated this every few days for weeks, adding phones and keys ... always there when we got back.

The final time I had parked my Toyota (company) forerunner near by, only to come back and find the window smashed and radio gone. A Lamborghini with a $100 on the seat is three spots over and you trash my car?