R3ciprocity.com - Prof David Maslach: Innovation; Research Life; Striving Towards Happiness

I grew up in a family where the default was just love. It wasn’t perfect — there was a lot of messed-up stuff — but no matter what, people were there for you. There was a deep respect for family and a deep respect for unconditional love.

I often think about how different life would be without that. A lot of people never get coached on right or wrong. But in our house, the default was you don’t harm other people. You build people up.

As I get older, I realize more and more how lucky I was. Despite the struggles, the default was love — and that made all the difference.

Why don’t we invest in our future selves? Whether it’s saving money, exercising, learning, or showing up for people we love, we often avoid what matters most—because we don’t respect the person we’re going to become. In this honest reflection, I talk about what it means to live differently today so that your future self can thrive. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about practicing quiet, daily acts of care for someone you haven’t met yet: future you.

There’s this message that frustrates the bananas out of me—when people say, “I made it, so can you.” It sounds nice, but it hides a deeper truth: most of what happens in life comes down to dumb butt luck. The country you’re born in, the parents you have, the people who give you a break they probably shouldn’t—it’s all chance.

We try to copy what others do, thinking best practices will lead us there. But when you actually try it, you realize: this is dumb—it doesn’t apply to me. Everyone’s story is different. Your path won’t look like mine. It might be harder, longer, slower—or maybe even faster. But that’s not the point.

The only thing I know that works? Get back up. Repeat. Over and over and over again. Keep going—not because it’s fair, or because it guarantees success—but because repetition and delusional optimism are the only real tools we have.

And maybe, just maybe, something happens when you do.

The Prayer of Saint Francis isn’t just a spiritual message—it’s a blueprint for how to lead, influence, and build something meaningful in business. “Where there is hatred, let me sow love…” That’s not weakness. That’s the foundation of lasting influence. Real leadership isn’t about control—it’s about presence, service, and building others up. Whether you’re running a company, managing a team, or just trying to make it through the research game, this prayer teaches the hardest, most important lesson of all: give more than you take. That’s how real leaders are made.

If you’ve ever felt like a mess in academia—like you’re supposed to be confident, polished, and certain, but inside you’re wrestling with doubt, contradiction, and confusion—this one’s for you.

I talk about how I’ve spent years trying to build something real with the R3ciprocity Project. I’ve done it in public. I’ve done it without a roadmap. And I’ve done it while constantly second-guessing whether I’m “doing it right.”

Over time, I stopped trying to impress people. I stopped believing the cheap talk. I started watching what people actually do. And I gave myself permission to say, “Screw the world,” when I needed to.

This episode is about letting go of the pressure to have it all figured out—and learning that not knowing is not a weakness. It’s the start of becoming yourself. If you’re in the middle of it—confused, stuck, or feeling off-script—you’re not alone. This is what growth looks like.

I used to care what everyone thought. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to impress. But years of building the Reciprocity Project—putting in the work when no one believed in it—taught me something deeper.

People say a lot. But if you watch their eyes, their body, the tension in their face—you’ll see the truth. Most of it is just cheap talk.

So I stopped listening to the noise and started believing in myself. Not because it was easy. Not because I had it all figured out. But because no one else was going to do it for me.

If you don’t feel that warm, real, supportive energy around you—walk away. Do your thing anyway. You’ll be surprised how far you can go when you stop trying to convince people and start taking steps forward.

We get it wrong—over and over again.

We chase the exciting, the flashy, the dream jobs we see on TV and TikTok.

Entrepreneurs, influencers, movie stars, pro athletes. The few that make it look easy.

But we rarely ask: what’s the probability of actually succeeding?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

As someone who’s built something unconventional, I know how seductive the dream can be.

But I also know how important it is to run the numbers.

If you multiply the likelihood of success with the actual return, you start to see the truth:

boring, predictable careers usually win.

Plumbers, nurses, corporate sales reps, mechanics—they’re often the ones with stable incomes and clear paths.

And if you’re strategic? If you keep learning, keep building, keep stacking skills—the upside is enormous.

Before you chase the hype, run a basic expected value calculation.

The return on boring is surprisingly high.

It just takes work, humility, and patience.

But over a lifetime, it adds up—quietly, steadily, and powerfully.

Doing the right actions that were result in good outcomes doesn’t always result in good outcomes.

We think if we just try harder, think more, or help more, things will work out. But the truth is—we can’t control much. I’ve had to learn that over and over again. Even with good intentions, even when I do everything “right,” things don’t go the way I thought they would.

We believe we’re in control of ourselves, of others, of the world. But real life doesn’t work that way. It’s messy, uncertain, and full of unexpected outcomes. Most of what we think we understand—especially as academics—is squishy. We explain 10%, but 90% is unexplained.

So I’ve learned to step back. Stay in my tiny world. Be humble. Walk forward anyway. Even if I look like the bumbling fool, I get back up and keep going. That’s the best we can do—accept the world as it is, and keep showing up.

How do you become a legitimate professor without getting an education? It’s an interesting problem. The only way is if you worked backwards and came up with a major discovery so important that people can’t look at the world the same way. But even then, legitimacy is squishy. You’d always be discounted by some.

Yes, it’s possible to make intellectual contributions without formal education, but it’s extraordinarily difficult. You don’t have mentors, guidance, or a path. The truth is, most people follow the route—PhD, publications, tenure—because it’s recognizable.

There are exceptions—people like the inventor of Ozempic or someone like MrBeast, but those paths are highly unusual. Unless you have extraordinary resources, create a lab, and produce real discoveries in the public domain, you’ll face an uphill battle. For most, the challenge isn’t brilliance—it’s legitimacy, and that’s hard to earn without the traditional path.