Radio Free America

It's good to be here in Sioux City; my best fans are here in the city of the Siouxes.

What? Oh.

As I was saying, I love Omaha. Omaha is, they tell me, an Indian word for the land of the Omahs. And apparently they laughed a lot . . . they laughed a lot. But not like Comrade Kamabala Biden, who should not laugh ever again. So annoying. So annoying.

And how about that 3 Chords & the Truth on the computer machine . . . or on your smartphone? Great music on the show, but a very poor host -- very biased. And what is a Mighty Foovog?

Mighty Foovog. It sounds like something I caught when I was going through my own personal Vietnam in the '70s; it took two or three Shots in the Ass -- I had a very good doctor then, very quick to give you an Ass Shot. His Ass Shots didn't hurt as much as they could have . . . Ass Shots can be so painful, so painful.

BUT THE Shots in the Ass got me back in the battle. I prefer the battles where if things go bad -- but things don't go bad for me, only if people are being very unfair. Things can go so bad when the fake news and all the haters are being so unfair. I preferred the Vietnam where you sometimes had to get a Shot in the Ass instead of getting shot in the face. Or getting shot in the chest.

Both very bad. I don't understand why you'd want to volunteer to get shot in the face. Faces are very important. I saw a guy once try to eat a hamburder without a face -- he didn't have the face . . . can hamburders have a face? That's a question for some of the great minds in this country to work on. Very big Question.

He couldn't eat the Mickey D's because if you don't have a face, you don't have a mouth.

Now that thing they call the Big Show would be a lot better if that very unfair host didn't have a mouth. Just play the music and keep quiet -- shut up and spin the tunes, I say. But he has some great music on there if you can get past his Being a Communist. Very biased, very unfair.

I LIKE music. Music is good to play when you're doing battle in your own personal Vietnam.

Did you ever notice that they generally play very poor music in the doctor's office when you're in there for a Shot in the Ass? Very poor music. But what can you expect from all the Commie Musicians out there?

You've been a very wonderful crowd. They're telling me I have to wrap this up because we're running behind schedule, and I have to be in Omaha in a couple of hours. But you just stick around, listen to the tunes. Some very excellent tunes today, so I am told.

One more thing, and then I'm ditching this burg. . . .

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Did you have a friend who, in a roundabout way, is why you do what you do today?

Was that friend, by chance . . . a radio station?

As it happens, I am among that geeky subset of folks who can answer yes to that. My radio friend's name was WLCS, also sometimes known during various eras as the Big Win 910 or the Big 91. It made up a big part of the soundtrack of my youth and, sometimes, it was the bright spot during some dark days.

If you appreciate 3 Chords & the Truth, there are a small number of the radio stations of my youth in Baton Rouge, La., that you can thank. WLCS is at the front of that list.

FORTY YEARS ago today, the Big 91 faded into the mists of history. Now it lives only in the memories of those of us who are, as they say, "of a certain age" . . . and as part of the Big Show.

WLCS was, I'd argue, a higher form of social media than what we call "social media" today. Oftentimes, today's social media is downright antisocial. The radio of my youth actually brought people together. The media of today often drives people apart.

I REALIZE this might come off as the whining of an old man, a geezer complaining that things absolutely were better back in the day. I am from the Deep South; that tends, if one is honest with oneself, to immunize against silly nostalgia.

But some things were better. The Big 91 was one of those things. I have it to thank for this thing we call 3 Chords & the Truth.

And, like a friend who has slipped this mortal coil, it lives on. It lives in our memories and in our hearts, and -- in a way -- it lives on right here.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

I don't do verbatim transcripts of what I say during 3 Chords & the Truth in this space, where I'm enticing you to actually listen to 3 Chords & the Truth.

And you know what? F*** that. This week, I will, because I had a revelation about what the hell I'm doing here on the Big Show. . . after nearly 17 years.

Here goes.

BEING THE politics nerd that I am, I’ve been watching the Democratic National Convention — and note there’s an -ic on the end of Democrat. Calling a political party the “Democrat Party,” is like calling a Jewish barber a “Jew barber.” It’s a slur; it’s dehumanizing, and we don’t do that in this country.

Or, at least, we used to not do it most places. During Jim Crow, it was the strategy of all the wrong people in the South. I hope I don’t need to elucidate, here.

Anyway, something occurred to me as I watched. Something occurred to me about this show as I reflected on this convention and that other one last month. As I reflected on folks who get their knickers in a twist if, at some social event or another, they think there’s not enough “White” music being played.

And as segregated and as nasty as the Deep South could be when I was growing up, there’s one thing that was great about it — “Black” music was “White” music, too. It was a bunch of what all-white Favog listened to back in the day. And “White” music was a bunch of what my Black high-school classmates listened to. There was one thing ol’ Jim Crow failed miserably at, and that was in trying to segregate music and make our ears as separate and unequal as everything else.

If you want to know what 3 Chords & the Truth is all about, it’s about America. It’s all “E pluribus unum” all the time — “Out of many, one.”

In brief, there’s only two kinds of music, good and bad. And the bad, we don’t mess with.

If you like this program, there’s one thing I do not need to tell you: Music, like America, cannot be segregated. It does not recognize bigoted hierarchies of worth or authenticity.

And it all belongs. Period. End of sentence . . . and of the argument. If you disagree, you probably have figured out this isn’t the place for you. And, perhaps, neither is this country.

WELL, that's all I have to say about that.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

To be honest with you, I couldn't tell you what really happened the night the lights went out in Georgia. I wasn't there.

I can tell you, though, what happened the night the lights went out in Omaha, just as I was getting ready to pick music for what would have been the Aug. 2 edition of the Big Show. It wasn't good.

There's a big pile of limbs and branches sitting in front of the 3 Chords & the Truth culture war bunker, waiting for the city to haul it away. That's one of the smaller piles on the street.

THE STORM that turned out the lights in Omaha also dropped trees and huge limbs on houses all over town -- and on more than a few power lines. One of those houses was next door.

Oh . . . and we had no power for a week. No Internet, either. Obviously.

So, no electricity, no show for two weeks. 

After sweating profusely for a few days, then bugging out to our friends' downtown condo after the temperature inside got within spitting distance of the 99-degree heat outside -- this with all the windows open -- the lights finally came back on late on Aug. 7.

And now we're back in business, in brightly lit, Internet enabled, air-conditioned comfort. I gotta tell you, I was getting a little stir crazy only as an old radio/media guy can.

And this week, we're trying to make up for the unplanned absence. Boy, are we. Trust me, this edition of the show is a good one. As usual.

Thus, without any further ado. . . .

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Click.

You're in tune with 3 Chords & the Truth, Omaha.

(THEME MUSIC SWELLS.)

Join us for the next 90 minutes for As the Nut Cracks, the story of a country just a bit off its nut, sponsored by Planters, where every can is full of nuts, just like American politics. Planters, where nuttery is our business.

(DISSOLVE TO OPENING SCENE.)

"Bing bong, bing bing bing! Sharks! Electric boats! Shocking! Jaws! Mass deportation now! Commies! Commies!"

We will return to the Big Show after these messages.

Buy Planters. Our nuts are the good kind. Really.

Now back to . . . As the Nut Cracks!

"Doctor, is there anything that can be done? I'm afraid, Doctor, I'm afraid! That's some weird shit."

"It's a difficult case, Jane. One of the worst I've ever seen . . . but we'll do our best. But for you, dear, I recommend you start drinking heavily. After all, I'm a doctor.

"Also, you might want to listen to some good music. It will be very calming. I'll give you a prescription."

"Thank you, Doctor. Thanks for everything."

(MUSIC SWELLS.)

Can the doctor restore sanity? Or will the nut crack? Find out tomorrow on the next episode of As the Nut Cracks, the story of a country that's just around the bend.

Now a final word from our sponsor -- Planters. Our nuts won't hurt you, just so long as you're not allergic.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

We find ourselves living in the Age of Disunity. Now, more than ever, the mother's milk of politics is bullshit.

This applies much more to some political parties than others. Boy, does it.

Listen, I watched all of Donald Trump's historically weird acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, otherwise known as Nuremberg for Dummies. That über über gathering in Milwaukee was notable among American political conventions for the placard handouts that got right to the point -- "MASS DEPORTATION NOW."

Sieg heil, y'all.

This is the American milieu from which 3 Chords & the Truth emerges every week. You sometimes wonder whether doing this thing, amid this level of ugly every week, amounts to whistling past a national graveyard.

Oh, yeah. Some 20-year-old nutter attempted to assassinate Trump last week. So there's that.

I absolutely cannot wait for what lies ahead . . . said no one ever the past few years.

Then we have the Democrats trying to force a diminished and doddering Joe Biden off the ballot. The niceties disappear when the stakes are existential, and losing may be death.

Ready for some music yet?

Ready or not, here it is, and it's damn good. As usual. In times like these, you have to keep on keepin' on -- until you can't. We'll keep the eclectic wonderfulness of the Big Show coming . . . until we can't.

It's that kind of America right now.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

If you know, you know.

First, I ain't young. I started in radio -- long before the Internet and 3 Chords & the Truth -- during the age of cartridge machines, big studio consoles with round knobs, turntables and reel-to-reel tape decks. Editing was done with a grease pencil and razor blade. The computer was the Heathkit they built in electronics class, which was where it stayed.

And the thing about being Not Young is that I've seen some things. And I remember most of them.

Second, I ain't never seen what I'm seeing now. Enter the 2024 presidential race -- 81-year-old Joe Biden, who's had a pretty damn good run as president vs. 78-year-old Donald Trump, an adjudicated rapist, convicted felon, federal defendant, Georgia defendant, word-salad aficionado and all-around reprobate.

And the felonious reprobate, running on a flat-out authoritarian platform, is winning. I was born in the Deep South in 1961. What we'll get under a second Trump Administration, I've seen. It was called Jim Crow. It was horrific.

No wonder that I felt the need to bang my head on this week's edition of the Big Show.

I am old enough to have seen a lot of good music. This is it. Trust me.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

If you can't laugh, you'll end up sticking your head in the oven.

Yeah, I watched the presidential debate pitting a bad debater who's lost a step . . . and a pathological liar who aspires to be Short-Bus Hitler. Couple that with a thoroughly broken journalistic infrastructure (I'm looking at you, CNN), and if cannabis were legal in this state, I'd be snarfing pot gummies like Raisinettes in a freakin' movie theater.

Thus, the importance of good music on 3 Chords & the Truth . . . and the ability to laugh at this s***.

I'm hoping I achieved the good-music and humor goals on this week's edition of the Big Show. I am betting heavily that you are, too.

Well, I guess you'll just have to see, now, won't you?

This has to work. I have an electric oven. Ouch.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Here's to you.

After all, without you, we at 3 Chords & the Truth are talking to ourselves and playing records for the wind.

So, musically, that's where we're starting on the show this week. But that's not where we're going to end. There is lots to love -- as usual -- about yet another episode of the Big Show. I mean, we're talking some seriously good music, intelligently presented.

Thank a seriously massive music library.

And that's about all I have to say about that. If you know, you know. If you don't -- yet -- this is as good a time as any to find out. You can thank me later.

With that said. . . .

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

By the time I got to Memphis, I was sinking.

You'll find the note I left hangin' on your phone. You'll laugh when you read the part that says I'm flailin.'

 
'Cause I've flailed on here so many times before.

By the time I hit record, I was low energy. You'll probably think the Big Show is nothin' at all.

 
But you'll just have to go on thinkin' . . . mighty small. That's all.

By the time you figure it out, show'll be over. You'll turn and say "That's 3 Chords & the Truth!"

 
And you'll cry just to think I'd really done it -- tho' time and time again I've pulled it off.

 
You just didn't know . . . it's the Big Show.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.