Welcome back to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown! Today we recap Radio Free Roscoe, episode 7, “Political in Pink.”

Before we begin, a note: This began as a funemployment side project, and said funemployment may be coming to an end soon 👀. Publication frequency may then change along with that - continuing with three times a week is unlikely; if I can still handle once a week, that may be the route; but if I need the downtime to simply watch the shows on my own without doing these recaps, that may be where we end up. I will at least recap through the end of Radio Free Roscoe season one, which is episode 13, and we’ll go from there. Now back to the show!

The teens are listening to Jennifer Peoples give a student council campaign speech, which seems unnecessary since she’s run virtually unopposed for literal years now (aside from Barney Oscarson, but no one’s voting for that math and science geek who unironically wears a shirt with his unfortunate initials stamped on it). Our foursome is alarmed when she mentions reducing socially deviant forms of personal expression - what does that mean exactly? Robbie dares Lily to ask Jen straight up, and Jen says, “Anything that shows you don’t want to fit in, like tattooing ‘I hate Roscoe High’ on your forehead or dyeing your hair pink,” (this is clearly a dig at a girl in the audience). “In the words of another great president, a house divided cannot stand.”

Lily takes the bait and responds with, “I’m in the same history class, thanks. But didn’t Lincoln say he wanted a government by the people, of the people, and for the people, not just Jennifer Peoples?” and the rest of the room cheers. Travis tells Lily, “Maybe you should be running for class president,” and while she initially responds, “I couldn’t do that,” she seems to be thinking about it. And on RFR, the boys goad Lily even further, doing their best to encourage her to run while also not giving away that Shady Lane is Lily (and vice versa) - the script here is therefore a little awkward but the sentiment is sweet.

The next day in the cafeteria, Principal Waller introduces the newest candidate for ninth grade president: Lily Randall! Her speech starts off nervous but ends up strong once she starts talking about individuality, and the students are buying in (though Waller, on the other hand, looks less than thrilled). She ended with, “Think pink!” so of course that becomes her campaign color - we see it in balloons, flyers, buttons, cafeteria food, everywhere.

RFR does a segment on Lily that allows listeners to call in, and the first is Jennifer Peoples herself, accusing RFR of being the “Lily Randall propaganda station.” She makes a point of how Lily wouldn’t have her slogan if not for Jennifer’s original speech, and asks how Lily has proven herself in comparison to Jennifer’s years in student government. Unable to answer, Ray pretends there’s static on the line and producer Travis has no choice but to hang up. Robbie immediately says, “Nice censorship, Ray. You know we’re going to have to come back and deal with this sooner or later.” Lily acknowledges that Jennifer was right; she hasn’t proven anything…yet.

It’s time for a candidate photo, and Lily shows up with pink-dyed streaks in her hair - and it actually looks great. As the campaign manager, Ray loves it - “Lily Randall doesn’t just say ‘think pink,’ she lives it!” Waller sees her new look and calls her over, but the boys start chanting, “Think pink!” and get the rest of the cafeteria to join in, so whatever words the principal has are empty. Ray grins, saying, “Just think, when Lily becomes president, I’ll be her first lady!”

While Lily is passing out pink, cherry-flavored hand stamps (“of approval to be your own weird self”), Jen calls into RFR yet again with a 34-point list of grievances she has against Lily, and this time they can’t stop her. Lily’s still mad they let her go on that long, given that RFR isn’t exactly NPR, but Robbie argues that’s free speech. If that’s the case, then it’s Lily’s turn for a rebuttal.

Time for a candidate Q&A session, and Ray has pink streaks in his hair now too to show support, as do several other students, and Lily is stunned. She might actually win this thing…whoa, she might actually win this thing. Ray advises her to play it safe with her Q&A responses now that she has a lead and keep everything right down the middle, but Travis looks unsure. He might be right - Ray’s strategy does kind of seem to be the opposite of everything Lily’s stood for.

Yup, that may be coming to fruition - Barney Oscarson asks why only the jocks have an award banquet, Lily says something about how being herself is its own reward, and Waller tells her, “Nice sidestep; you may have a knack for this after all.” One, impressing him is maybe the last thing Lily wants to do, and two, these kids are going to love Hamilton. Then, the original girl with the pink hair is upset that now she and her friends look like conformists when they dyed their hair before it was cool. Lily tries to tell her they’re part of something bigger now, but that just makes the girl get up and leave.

Travis finds Lily the day before the election, and Lily isn’t feeling as sure about anything anymore. He asks if it’s about the Q&A session and assures her she was great in there - “just like a ninth grade president.” She responds with, “Just like a Waller suck-up, you mean.” As she leaves, Barney tells her he’s conceding and telling his voters to vote for Lily instead, which just makes Lily look even more stressed.

Lily calls into RFR (which is running without her) as Shady Lane, saying she “could’ve voted for Lily if she’d stayed true to herself, but she’s a phony. Her pink hair is a gimmick, like Jennifer said; she’s championing individual expression but not expressing her true self.” The boys are confused, but Lily is insistent: Don’t think pink, think however you want to think. And either way, don’t vote for Lily.

And with that, Jennifer Peoples is class president once again. But as Shady Lane puts it, while Lily isn’t upset that she lost, her campaign and ideas have still left a legacy, so this isn’t over - the student body will be watching.

Don’t change that channel! We’ll be right back on Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown.

Get full access to Teeny Bopper TV Breakdown at hannamfogel.substack.com/subscribe