So many people compare themselves with others and come to the conclusion – Well, I'm not much good for anything. But each one of us has a gift. An ability. Something that's just ….well, us!
Now I don't know if you've ever lived in a house where someone's learning the violin but those first few years were diabolical – the screeching and the out of tune, and its all so loud. It was just awful. Now Corrie became a great pianist and violinist but the first few years were ugly let me tell you. And of course my clarinet playing was just fabulous right from the beginning!!
The point is though when we first try something often we're not good at it. We have to persist for a while to discover whether it's our gig or not. But I wonder if that isn't why so many people are wandering around the world with this notion that they're not good at anything.
I think we all have a sense of wanting to fulfil our destiny, doing the things we're meant to do, achieving the things we're meant to achieve and being the person we're meant to be. But the more I talk to people the more I discover how many aren't happy with who they are. These two weeks, ten programs are not some kind of systematic ten steps to happiness thing, just some stories and some anecdotes and things to stimulate our thinking, get us with Gods' plan for who he made us to be.
I spent a good many years of my life comparing myself with other people, here's how it goes. You look at all the people you know and you pick all their good points up, 'he's athletic and good looking, and she's really intelligent, and he's caring, and she's so perceptive about people, boy he's got such great hand-eye co-ordination, that couple over there everyone seems to like them. He is such a good cook, she has her house so tidy, they have such well behaved kids.'
You see what's going on here, we construct some super human unreality which is a composite of the very best points of everyone we know and then when we don't live up to that, all of a sudden, 'Ah, I'm a failure'. Never mind that everybody we know is good a some things and not at others, never mind that each one of those people has weaknesses as well as strengths. We tend to construct an unrealistic image of who we should be and then we spend a lifetime, fuelled by the advertising industry - with all these images of success - we spend a lifetime trying to live up to something that no-one can ever be or live.
I wonder if we did a stock take of our strengths and weaknesses maybe sit down with a few people who really know us well whether we would look at that and go, "That's not a bad plus and minus ledger, you know, okay there are some things here I'm not very good at but actually there's one or two things here, oh, that's really my gig, that's my shtick, that's what I do."
I mean my strengths are, I have a high IQ it's just the way God made me, I'm a communicator and a story teller and I tend to handle conflict pretty well. I mean I spent 20 years as an objective advisor, as a consultant. I tend to be outcome focused so I deliver things on time. So I've got some things on the positive side of my ledger but I've got weaknesses too like I'm not good at a whole bunch of administrative detail. I'm not as perceptive about other people as I could be, and in my rush to deliver an outcome I can have a tendency to roll over the top of people. I'm not someone to have lots and lots of people around me all the time; I tend to feel crowded.
You see the picture? We're a bundle, a composite of assets and not liabilities, but things we may not be so good at. The thing that I've discovered is I need to play to my strengths and team up with people whose strengths plug the gaps of my weaknesses and vice versa. Not everyone else has my strengths, that's why I'm useful in a team. The Apostle Paul in Romans, chapter 12 wrote this he said:
"By the grace given to me let me say this to you, don't think of you