Council of Fathers

Raising Empowered, Not Entitled, Kids


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opics Covered:

The Core Tension (00:05:00 - 00:12:00)

Finding the sweet spot between empowerment and entitlement

Two extremes to avoid: kids running the show vs. overly obedient/disempowered children

The spectrum from "too much responsibility" (scary lack of boundaries) to "no autonomy" (outsourcing will)

Parenting styles: overly directive vs. overly following, with "guiding" as the middle path

Modeling assertiveness vs. aggression or passivity

Building Critical Thinking Skills (00:12:00 - 00:19:00)

Preparing children for nefarious influences in the world

Providing foundation of principles vs. controlling exposure

The importance of open communication channels

Creating safe space for mistakes and "failing forward"

Avoiding vilification of different beliefs/influences

Relationship as Foundation (00:19:00 - 00:27:00)

Keeping the "bank account full" through positive connection

Fun, play, and genuine quality time

Modeling vulnerability and transparency

Proactive conversations about social dynamics

Sharing your own struggles and repair processes

John Gottman's "positive sentiment override"

Essential Skills for Empowerment (00:27:00 - 00:35:00)

Working with difficult emotions

Cultivating curiosity as an engaged posture

Skepticism vs. cynicism - maintaining openness while questioning

The trap of "anti-gullibility" (thinking you're immune to manipulation)

Acknowledging our human desire to be seduced/led

The challenge of "reading the label from inside the jar"

Practical Wisdom (00:35:00 - 00:41:00)

Balancing self-esteem with humility

Seeking external reference points without giving away your truth

Dave's example of Rafi being vulnerable about needing support

Self-compassion as strength, not avoidance of accountability

...more
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Council of FathersBy Dave Bonaiuto and Noah Goldstein