Raising Girl Shaped Flames

Season 2 is here and we're diving straight in with a short episode about a concept I've been mulling on recently. In this episode, I discuss an analogy of a parent's war on confidence enemies, and how we train ourselves and our daughters to fight them!

I’d like to preface this quick episode with the following: in this episode I’m going to talk about war, however it is through a conceptual analogy and in no way meant to downplay the impact live and deadly wars are having on millions of people around the world right now, especially the ongoing war in Ukraine. 

Speaking with a parent recently, we discussed the litany of ways that her daughter’s confidence is being compromised right now. And I mused that it feels like a fight. The parent’s fight. No wait, the parent’s war. A defensive war against threats to your daughter’s confidence, where the enemy is social media, volatile and toxic friendships, unrealistic body imagery, the media, academic pressures, perfectionism and judgment.

I’m always keen to hear thoughts on my bold analogies, and this one has been a bit of a doozie! So drop me a line at [email protected] or via the Girl Shaped Flames Facebook page on whether this one resonates, and whether you feel you’re winning the war in your household.

If you’re a parent, aunt, grandparent, educator or just anyone who cares about the confidence and self-worth of a tween or teen girl in their life, then go ahead and HIT THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON as we’re going to be not only diving into more juicy topics this season, but also listening in on some of the live coaching sessions Dr Diane Harner and I ran with parents of tweens and teens last year as part of our The Confident Daughter program.

About Girl Shaped Flames: https://girlshapedflames.com

FREE RESOURCE: Access our free Confident Breakthrough Video Series, delivered by Teen Expert Tanya Meessmann and Neuroscientist and Counsellor Dr Diane Harner: https://resource.girlshapedflames.com/cbs-2022-registration-pod

Our signature The Confident Daughter program for parents raising tween and teen daughters: https://resource.girlshapedflames.com/the-confident-daughter-pod

Also don't forget to sign up to our mailing list. You'll get a reminder of new podcast episodes each week as well as more great confidence resources and information for both yourself and your daughter.

Aaaaaand we’re back!

This teaser looks ahead to Season 2 of the Raising Girl Shaped Flames Podcast, including upcoming topics such as Stop ‘fixing’ and Start Having Fun’, Negative Thinking, Convincing her to Try New Things, and the 5 key Areas of Courage Every girl needs – to name a few!

If you’re a parent, aunt, grandparent, educator or just anyone who cares about the confidence and self-worth of a tween or teen girl in their life, then go ahead and HIT THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON as we’re going to be not only diving into a lot of juicy topics this season, but also listening in on some of the live coaching sessions Dr Diane Harner and I ran with parents of tweens and teens last year as part of our The Confident Daughter program.

About Girl Shaped Flames: https://girlshapedflames.com

FREE RESOURCE: Access our free Confident Breakthrough Video Series, delivered by Teen Expert Tanya Meessmann and Neuroscientist and Counsellor Dr Diane Harner: https://resource.girlshapedflames.com/cbs-2022-registration-pod

Our signature The Confident Daughter program for parents raising tween and teen daughters: https://resource.girlshapedflames.com/the-confident-daughter-pod

Also don't forget to sign up to our mailing list. You'll get a reminder of new podcast episodes each week as well as more great confidence resources and information for both yourself and your daughter.

For today’s edition of the Podcast I am joined by Dana Malstaff

Today’s topic will take a dive into the impact that a working mum’s confidence can have on her daughters confidence development

We sat down to gain deeper insights into:

• Women’s personal journeys and confidence blocks
• What impact can a mother’s confidence in herself have on her daughters confidence
• Reflections on Dana’s personal experiences with her young daughters confidence
• Advice for mum’s with daughters moving into the confidence rattling space of running a business
• And finally, the importance of proactive confidence development in young girls

So listen in on this not to be missed episode that covers confidence development and parenting young teen girls as a working mum. It’s a perfect time to reflect on the confidence blocks that enable you to create and sustain a successful work, family and personal life.

If you are a mum who has a business, or are wanting to connect with a community of mums in business, come and join Dana at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BossMomGroup

Dana also has a free 90 Day Email Nurture System Guide, which can be downloaded here: https://boss-mom.com/90free/

About Dana Malstaff:

CEO and founder of Boss Mom, she is a mother of 2, author, speaker, business strategist, podcaster, blindspot reducer, and movement maker.

She launched the Boss Mom brand with her first book, Boss Mom: The Ultimate Guide to Raising a Business and Nurturing Your Family Like a Pro, and quickly grew to a 6-figure business within a year.

Now she’s got over 20,000 students in various courses, almost 60,000 Boss Moms in her FB group of the same name, and helps woman all over the world raise their businesses and babies at the same time.

She believes that pursuing our passions and building our dreams while including our children in the process is the best way to build thriving businesses and families.

For today's extra special edition of the Podcast I am joined by Courageous Mums: Cheryl, Stacey and Petra.

These incredible women are parents like you, right in the thick of it all. Each with their unique experiences and courageous parenting stories to share.

We sat down to gain deeper insights into:

• How it feels to be a mother to a teen in the 21st Century
• How it has personally affected their journey
• Reflecting on their expectations vs. the reality
• Touching on the fears they experience as they raise their own girl shaped flame
• And finally, what they are most proud of as parents

So mothers, put your feet up (as you wait for your breakfast in bed no doubt) and hit play on this not to be missed conversation.

During the episode you will hear these incredible Mums mention the Courageous Parenting Program, as past participants of the program. The next round of Courageous Parenting will be opening again at the end of this month, so be sure to head over and join the waitlist here.

In today's episode, I am thrilled to be joined by teen cake artist, the very talented Ceara from Ceara Bakes.

Ceara courageously reached out to me to be interviewed for this podcast. It wasn't just her cake creations or karate skills, but her drive and determination blew me away from the get go.

Her passion for baking brewed in the classroom when science taught Ceara about chemical reactions along with her Grandmother's baking influence, but it's her self assurance and confidence that allows her to continue to grow her passion. 

In today's discussion, we dive into a range of topics including:

• Where her motivation comes from
• The role her friends play when it comes to combating demotivation and overwhelm
• Social media and managing negative commentary 
• The confidence she draws upon and now that she has moved her hobby into a business
• Insight into how her parents supported her journey from the beginning
• Juggling her priorities including school work
• Key advice for young people wanting to follow their passion

Ceara’s passion for baking stems from her Grandmother, a professional baker from Ireland. She cooked her first cake on her own at the age of seven, and now seven years on, Ceara sells her incredible cake creations online.

In January 2020, she posted in the Mornington Peninsula community Facebook group about her idea to bake cakes and donate all proceeds to a charity during the Victorian bushfires. Her hobby quickly grew into a business that she manages alongside her school life and championship karate practice.

As a teen role model to other girls, Ceara wants girls to know that business ideas can come from anywhere and anyone, no matter their age. Her advice is to be patient, start with friends and family and:

Click here to check out Ceara's Instagram!

In today's episode, I am absolutely thrilled to speak with our first ever international guest, Irene Bangwell from Raising Girls in Nigeria.

Irene and I connected over our respective Facebook groups, Raising Girl Shaped Flames and her Parenting Champions Community. We instantly connected over our shared values, beliefs, and of course, our hopes and dreams for young girls in each of our countries, myself in Australia, and Irene is in Nigeria.

I can genuinely say that this was one of the most empowering, exhilarating, insightful discussions I've had with a guest on this program to date. What we cover in this episode is so aligned, and really heartening to find someone on the other side of the world that not only believes so infallibly in the premise of Girl Shaped Flames and why I've started and what we're doing, but also the fact that she's over there doing it herself.

The work that Irene is doing to support parents in Nigeria predominantly to raise strong, confident, independent girls, brimming with self worth.

I do want to flag up front that we touch on a couple of topics that might be sensitive to some listeners, but I do want to stress: everything we spoke about is very real and very now, and is being experienced right now by thousands of girls in Nigeria. 

In today's discussion, we do cover a lot of ground including:

• Her own personal confidence journey and influences from a teenager to now
• The importance of the proactive development of confidence in young girls
• An example of what life is like for a 15 year old girl in Nigeria
• Some of the key challenges girls in Nigeria face when building their confidence
• Some of the key challenges parents face when trying to raise confident daughters in Nigeria
• We also spoke about The KNOSK N100-a-day Secondary School, Kuje that Irene runs

About Irene Bangwell​
Irene is the Co-founder, The KNOSK N100-a-day Secondary School, Kuje and Raising Girls Coach at Parenting Champions in Nigeria.

We’re doing things a little differently in this week’s episode. We are absolutely still covering confidence, but from an angle that might not spring to mind straight away.

This week, I discuss with our special guest William Wadsworth, how stress, pressure and overwhelm affect the girl’s confidence. 

William is a memory psychologist, an independent researcher, and a study skills coach. He helps ambitious students to study smarter, not harder, so they can ace exams with less work, less stress and especially in the case of Girl Shaped Flames, more confidence!

In today's discussion, we go through a number of really fascinating topics:

• Growth mindset: which is this having confidence in your ability to improve at something that you find hard at first
• We also dive into motivation and the impact on girl’s in-class participation
• Then we talk about memory, which is one of William's most favourite topics - which is helping people switch to smarter ways of learning and more effective memory strategies, thus helping build their confidence. 
• We also touch a little bit on test anxiety, which is definitely linked to under-confidence, as William will speak to in his experience.

In this episode, William shares a free Exam Success Cheat Sheet for RGSF listeners.
Grab your Free Resource Download here: https://examstudyexpert.com/flames/

About William Wadsworth

William Wadsworth is an expert in the science of studying effectively, equal parts independent researcher and evangelist for effective learning and memorisation techniques.

He is an experienced speaker, having been featured at conferences hosted by leading organisers such as ResearchED and the British Education Research Association (BERA), as well as delivering talks on learning at Cambridge University, FTSE 100 organisations, and leading schools across the UK.

He holds a First Class Hons. degree in Psychology from Cambridge University, and his research includes the largest-ever field study on student approaches to learning, surveying some 30,000 students on their learning habits, in collaboration with the world-renowned Washington Memory Lab.

William is the best-selling author of Outsmart Your Exams, and through the Exam Study Expert blog and podcast, William’s advice on how to study effectively is followed by half a million students in 150+ countries every year.

In this week's episode we take a sneak peak at Madonna King's newest (soon-to-be-released) book Ten-ager. Available from the 27th January from Booktopia, Dymocks, QBD and all good book stores.

The book looks into what we all are starting to see firsthand in everyday life, which is, teenage-hood is starting a lot earlier than it used to. And we're now starting to see the characteristics of teenage development is actually starting as early as the age of 10.

Madonna saw this and, and has utilised this as the basis for this outstanding book. I was lucky enough to nab access to a secret early copy and I can tell you it is such a well-executed and research body of work. 

In this week's special episode we covered:

• Her personal confidence & its influences when she was a teenager
• What surprised her when undertaking the research to write Ten-ager
• The importance of letting your daughter have and express opinions
• Her thoughts on the impact standardised testing has on confidence
• Parents' expectations about their daughter's resilience and grit
• Upsetting discoveries about 10 year old girls in Australia today
• The importance of communication between parents and daughters
• ... and so much more!

About Madonna King

Madonna King is one of Australia's most accomplished journalists, having won awards for her ABC Mornings current affairs program.

She is the author of ten books, including the bestselling Being 14 which was ABIA shortlisted for non-fiction book of the year, and Fathers and Daughters.

She has interviewed five prime ministers, at least a dozen premiers, some of Australia’s leading chief executives and the full range of sportsmen and entertainers - and possibly most exciting - over 1000 10 and 14 year old girls, their parents and educators!

Also the biographer of Australian of the Year Professor Ian Frazer and former treasurer Joe Hockey, Madonna lives in Brisbane with her husband and two teenage daughters.

In this week's episode we look at the the relationship between CONFIDENCE and COMMITMENT. 

It's easy to think that an ultra marathon runner is going to be some kind of "alternative human being", who's unflappable, focused on an invisible horizon that we 'regular people' can't actually see! 

But speaking with Jacqui in this episode was exactly as I had hoped.  It revealed that an athlete of her ability and stamina ultimately holds everything that they need within themselves in order to reach the incredible heights (and in her case distances) that they want to. Specifically I wanted to speak to Jacqui about the topic of commitment.

In this week's discussion with my special guest, Jacqui Bell - a 25-year-old ultra marathon runner and motivational speaker, we covered:

• Her attitude towards 'commitment' in high school
• The key role her parents played in helping her see the importance of commitment to reach her goals
• What compelled her to become the Youngest Person in the world to run an ultra marathon on all 7 continents!
• Her relationship between confidence and commitment
• Advice for parents of teenage girls who want to help them build resilience, confidence and 'staying power'

Stick around to the end to hear from Dr Diane Harner who is BACK with another ‘9 Minutes of Neuroscience’. In this episode we look at the difference between commitment and discipline (hint - it’s to do with the choices we make with our own intentions).  We touch on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, as well as how parents can help their daughters identify when to ’stick something out’ and when to move on.

Download our Free Confidence Calendar here.


ABOUT JACQUI BELL

Jacqui is a 25 year old ultra runner from Brisbane, Australia. 

Coming from a tennis background and working as a personal trainer since the age of 16 Jacqui always kept fairly fit. At 19 Jacqui signed up to her first 50km Race, not even knowing this counted as an Ultra Marathon at the time, she placed 3rd and was on a high for a week. From here Jacqui entered a number of other events sporadically over the years for fun and to give herself some goals.

Then in 2017 when Jacqui was at rock bottom after battling with a number of health issues that were affecting her physically and mentally. This is when she set herself the goal of running 250km’s across The Simpson Desert in Australia – The Big Red Run. Jacqui had 8 months to build up her fitness… the starting point being about 30km’s a week. Jacqui got researching on all things Ultra Marathons and that is when she discovered Racing the Planet’s 4 Deserts… next thing she knew she decided to go not just one bigger but 4 times bigger… forget the Simpson Desert, hello to one of the toughest enAn Ultra-marathon runner.

In 2018 Jacqui went on to become the Youngest Female in The World to conquer Racing the Planets x4 Desert Grand Slam running 250km’s self supported across the scorching Namibian Desert, Gobi Desert, Atacama Desert and the blizzards of Antarctica. This was just the start for the young gun as Jacqui has now become the Youngest Person in the world to run an ultra marathon on all 7 con

In this week's episode we look at the the relationship between CONFIDENCE and CREATIVITY. 

Now as a creative person, myself, it's actually been really powerful to reflect on the idea that confidence might actually have an impact on something that's perceived to be quite innate or natural within certain people and personalities. 

This week's discussion with my special guest, Racheal Sarra - an indigenous artist from Goreng Goreng Country,  dives into exactly these things, as she opens up about her own confidence and creativity, and how powerfully the two actually work together. We covered:

• Her personal relationship with confidence through high-school until now
• What she believes is the relationship between confidence and creativity
• The role her culture has played in shaping her creative expression
• Situations (or people) who affect her confidence and creativity
• The role her family has played in supporting her creative journey
• Advice she would give parents nurturing a creative daughter in their family
• How professional experience has actually helped her find the right zone in which she now combines her emotionally charged creativity with running a really successful business. 

I'm super-excited to announce that Dr Diane Harner is BACK with a cracking 9 Minutes of Neuroscience.  We dive into pretty much as many things as you actually can within nine minutes, but specifically this week, Diane takes us through:

• Busting the left brain, right brain myth
• The three key neurological networks that play a role in creativity (I bet you didn't know there were three!)
• The impact stress, or even just reduced confidence can actually have on the creative brain function
• And what teenagers ultimately need in order to foster increased creativity (I'll give you a hint: daydreaming is allowed and boredom is encouraged!)

ABOUT RACHAEL SARRA

Rachael is an extraordinary indigenous artist and designer whose creative style is feminine, fun and engaging, and strongly drawn from her heritage and her role as an Aboriginal woman in a modern world.  For anyone familiar with her work it's immediately apparent that her work is an extension of her being emotions and experiences as a contemporary Aboriginal artists from Goreng Goreng Country.

Rachel uses art as a powerful tool in storytelling to educate and share Aboriginal culture and its evolution, and it often challenges and explores the themes of society's perceptions of what Aboriginal art and identity actually is.

Follower her on Instagram here.

See and purchase her incredible work here.