Real: Love, Death, Trauma, Shame & More

Ballerina and professional art model Viktoria talks with me about her experience hitting rock bottom with her eating disorder. We relate our life challenges, and toxic behaviors with each other. I also talk about my rock bottom life change with alcoholism. We have each known each other through the modeling industry and have witnessed each others metamorphosis, hopefully this episode inspires anyone going through a hard time.

In the wake of the current battle for racial equality following the murder of George Floyd by the police, Jess & Kristy have their first public conversation about how racism affects the modeling industry. Agencies which have turned down black models are now posting #BlackLivesMatter because it's suddenly trendy. What can companies do to reconcile their prejudice history? What can indie creatives do to encourage a future that embraces a more diverse vision of beauty? find Jess at SayHelloJess.com

Mussa Silika & Kristy Jessica have both been inspired to promote change through open, frank conversation after seeing the horrific video of the police murder of George Floyd. Mussa lives in Turkey and is a minority there, he grew up in Malawi, Africa. We talked about the differences and similarities of systemic racism in Turkey & the US, and Mussa had some very bold & direct questions about white privilege and stereotyping for me to answer.

Love, intimacy, and sexual expression are healthy aspects of our lives. Individuals and couples may be faced with challenges when chronic illness affects our intimate lives. We talked about stigma, hard conversations, sex therapy, masturbation, consent, the medical industry, and how this issue can relate to all people even in less extreme cases.

You can contact Sammy at sammywitness (at) gmailcom

This episode's topic is death, our experiences with close family members, what happened, how it affected us, and how we have been working through the processes of shock, denial, grief, sadness and acceptance. Daisy Von and I go into depth, relating her experience with her father's passing to my experience with my grandma's passing.

Daisy's photos can be viewed at www.instagram.com/daisyvonmodel

Lillias and I talk about being raised in environments that enforce the culture of people pleasing: making others happy gives us a sense of value. This has affected us throughout our lives in different relationships- we seem to have patterns for being attracted to partners whose love becomes conditional on how "good of a girlfriend" we are based on their standards/desires. Through experience, we have learned about narcissistic abuse in relationships.

Having a super strict upbringing can cause psychological issues, religious shame and guilt added to the mix can make life even more confusing. Both Lillias Right and I were raised in dysfunctional environments, her family was indoctrinated deeply in Mormonism and mine in an Assemblies of God Protestent church/ school. In this episode we talk about how this has affected our relationships, our sense of autonomy, our confidence, and mental health.