Dating disappointment can make you cynical fast. One minute you are hopeful, the next you are recovering from another let-down and wondering whether it is even worth trying again. This week I get honest about that cycle and talk about how to stay optimistic in dating without pretending, settling, or letting anyone mishandle your heart.

I consider into adult attachment styles and why understanding anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganised patterns can change your whole approach to Christian dating. I share how anxious attachment can show up as bracing for abandonment, replaying conversations, and assuming the worst, plus what it looks like to grow when someone communicates clearly. The goal is not a label. The goal is self-awareness that reduces repeated disappointment and helps you build healthier connection.

I also name spiritual bypassing, those faith-sounding phrases that can hide pain or dodge responsibility. If you have ever said “I’m content, I’m not looking” when you are actually scared to hope again, this will land. We talk about believing the best about yourself, refusing to write everyone off, and learning to trust God’s character without turning faith into a rigid timeline.

We close with practical ways to regroup: taking a real break (without disappearing), challenging your “type” if it is actually a pattern, and choosing a “summer of saying yes” to life, community, and new spaces like Christian festivals and events. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review wherever you listen. What part of dating has tested your optimism most?

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Church hurt can make faith feel dangerous, not because God has changed, but because trust was broken where it should have been protected. We sit with that reality and ask the blunt question many people are already living: hurt and harm, why go to church in 2026?

I’m joined by pastor, theologian, and Bible teacher Jeronne Rudder from Uhambo The Journey, and we start by naming what church hurt actually is: betrayal on a spiritual journey that is deeply precious. From there we dig into deconstruction, not as a buzzword or a brand, but as a real wrestling with core beliefs that can lead to a richer, more biblically grounded Christian faith. We also challenge the way deconstruction can get commercialised online, and why replacing one unaccountable leader with another never brings healing.

Then we get practical. We talk about whether church attendance is necessary, why embodied community matters, and when stepping back is wise after tragedy, grief, or betrayal. Jeronne shares guidance on leaving toxic environments quickly, using online church as a short-term support, and finding a healthier local church without slipping into a consumer mindset. One idea that really lands is “pastoring by consent” a trust-building approach to leadership and safeguarding that helps people recover after spiritual harm.

We close with hard truths and hope: churches can “catfish” with a polished image, conflict is part of real covenant community, and repair requires emotional intelligence, clear apologies, and owning impact not just intention. If you’re navigating church trauma, faith doubts, or a new start, this one is for you. Subscribe, share with someone who’s been hurt, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.

Check out Jeronne's work at https://www.uhambo.co/  

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

This week, Stephen is my very special guest, and we share our experience of online dating. A dating app match can turn into months of messaging, and you still might not know the person at all. We get honest about what actually helped us move from Hinge chat to a relationship that felt calm, intentional, and safe, especially after years of being single in Christian spaces and carrying the weight of other people’s opinions about timelines, age, and “settling down”. 

Stephen shares what online dating felt like over time, including the burnout of stop-start connections and the risk of building a phone-based bond that falls apart the moment you meet face to face. We talk about why we chose to meet quickly, what made our first date unusually easy, and the intentional questions that helped us learn who the other person really is. We also unpack a key lesson for Christian dating: transparency is not the same as full vulnerability, and oversharing too early can blur wisdom and boundaries. 

We don’t dodge the tricky bits either. Faith mattered, church attendance mattered, and we explain why we nearly didn’t have a second date, how we reconnected, and what “respect for values” looks like in practice without pressure or performance. We finish with simple, practical advice for Christian men and women: be intentional, be consistent, don’t waste someone’s time, and pay attention to whether you feel safe with the person in front of you. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the podcast.

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

In this episode, I get honest about the weight of singleness, especially in church spaces where people mean well but still leave you unseen. I talk about grief, the silence many Christians carry, and why hope isn’t pretending it doesn’t hurt. Then I shift into what has genuinely helped me: friendship that becomes chosen family, the kind of open‑door welcome where you don’t need an appointment and you know you belong.

I share a story about “fridge‑rights” hospitality and why it matters for the Black British church—and for any church that wants to feel like a family, not a club. I also name the harder stuff: being treated like a threat as a single woman, the quiet suspicion, and the questions leaders and married couples rarely ask. What would change if we prayed for single people who want to be married, noticed those who aren’t on stage, and built trust instead of distance?

From there, I get practical. I talk about agency in modern dating—ghosting, zombieing, situationships, online dating, and the way colourism shapes some dating experiences. I share three questions that helped me move from powerless to purposeful, along with resources on dating wisdom and communication that protect your dignity. If you want Christian singleness support that’s honest, thoughtful, and actionable, press play—then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation.

Resources Mentioned

• How to Get a Date Worth Keeping — Dr Henry Cloud
• TorahCents Podcast — dating, relationships, and communication
• Do the Work Podcast — Sabrina Zohar on attachment, clarity, and healthy dating
• Black Women and White Men: Interracial Relationships by Cheryl Y. Judice — research and cultural analysis

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Singleness can be a blessing, but when you want marriage and it keeps not happening, it can start to feel like your faith is doing extra emotional labour just to stay steady. On this episode, I name that reality without judging anyone who feels content single, and speak directly to those who love God, serve faithfully, and still go home carrying a quiet ache that church language often fails to recognise.

I examine familiar bits of Christian dating advice that are usually meant kindly, yet can land painfully over time: “maybe you’re not ready yet”, “God will bring someone when you stop looking”, and “enjoy this season and serve God”. I ask what these phrases imply about spiritual maturity, why they can create a transactional view of God, and how they can subtly shame a legitimate desire for marriage. 

What should we do about all of this? Rather than rushing to solutions, we practise lament. Job 2 shows what it looks like to sit in the dust with someone before offering words, and Psalm 13 gives language for the honest prayer of “How long, O Lord?” I bring that into the chaos of modern dating as a Christian, from breadcrumbing and love bombing to ghosting, zombieing and situationships, and we end where Psalm 13 ends: looking up, choosing trust, and remembering God’s steadfast love even when the timeline hurts.

If you know someone navigating Christian singleness, share this with them, and if it helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell me what you wish church understood about singleness.

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

 I’m back after a long pause, sharing what’s changed—including getting married—and how shifting seasons shape faith. This leads into a bigger point: people’s hardest questions about Christianity aren’t always intellectual but deeply existential. We explore both kinds, from science and Scripture to meaning, identity, and suffering, with examples like AI and The Truman Show. I also unpack how protracted singleness, especially for Black Christian women, can quietly erode faith within couple‑centred church cultures. 

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Can survival-driven evolution truly lead us to understand objective moral truths, or do our deepest convictions about right and wrong point to something greater? This episode of Real Questions with Clare promises to stretch your thinking as we explore the profound implications of the moral argument for God's existence.

If you'd like to support Clare's work, you're welcome to buy her a coffee! https://buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk

Resources:

Robust Ethics: The Metaphysics and Epistemology of Godless Normative Realism by Erik Wielenberg

Is God a Moral Monster? by Paul Copan

Mere Christianity by CS Lewis

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

This week Clare is joined by a special guest, Jeronne Rudder to discuss the question: 'How can we read the bible well?' This is for anyone who struggles to make sense of scripture or desires to have a fuller understanding of what they're reading.  The significance of cultural, historical and theological contexts are explored as well the importance of biblical literacy. 

Jeronne is the founder of Uhambo, a subscription-based bible resource designed to make ancient truths applicable to modern believers seeking to bring the bible alive.  He is also a Pastor at Emmanuel Gateway Church in Lewisham.

If you'd like to support Clare's work, she'd love for you to buy her a coffee!
https://buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

This week we return to exploring arguments for God’s existence, specifically the Moral Argument.  Do we need God for morality?  Clare talks through what the moral argument is and what it's not.  It’s designed to help us grapple with the foundations of objective moral values, and how perhaps this points us to God.  

Resources:

The Moral Argument by William Lane Craig at Reasonable Faith 

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Harari 

Dominion: The Making of the Western Mind by Tom Holland

The Air We Breathe by Glen Scrivener 

Seven Types of Atheism by John Gray

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

On this episode Clare looks at stories of Ancient Egypt which describe Aset (Isis) and her alleged virgin birth/immaculate conception.  The idea that Christianity copied from story is closely examined, alongside the interpretation of Egyptian carvings which predate and tell a seemingly similar account to the resurrection of Jesus.

Resources:
Rahil Patel

From Aset to Jesus: The History of the Goddess Aset in Ancient Kemet From Circa 3000 BCE Until the Removal of Feminine Salvation Circa 400 CE by Jennifer Williams

Jesus in black theology: the ancient ancestor visits by Julian Kunnie

Vince Bantu

Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk 

Follow for more Black faith-based content:
Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsuk

Music: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness