Real Relationships, by Contactually

All of us want to make more profit in our business. It's at least a part of why we are in business. But the question arises, "What is the best way to make a profit?" Bob Berg says that the best way to make more profit is to give - to always ask how you can add more value to that person. In this conversation, Bob shares the concepts from his book, "The Go Giver" with me to clarify why the laws of giving are the best way to provide value to others and consequently, make maximum profit for yourself. It's a great and insightful conversation, so be sure you take the time to listen.

As human beings, we are wired to represent something greater than ourselves.

The primary principle behind becoming a person who gives tremendous value to those who you connect with is that all of us as human beings are wired to contribute in ways that are larger than ourselves. That means we all want to give - we just don't always know what that means or how to do it. Bob Burg shares how every person, every business leader needs to position themselves in ways that serve others with maximum value. Find out how to tweak your thinking to fulfill that end goal and discover the incredible things - like more profit - that come as a result.

People will only buy from you because they are convinced they will benefit by doing so.

It's natural that people who wind up buying your product or paying for your service only do so because they believe they will benefit by doing so. Your job as a business owner or sales professional is to ensure that they see the benefits they will receive clearly, without exception. You do that by adding tremendous value to every interaction you have with them. You want them to associate you, your products, and your brand with generosity toward them. Bob Burg talks about how you can make that happen and increase profits at the same time, on this episode of Real Relationships.

The amount of money you make is directly proportional to the number of people you serve.

One of Bob Burg's favorite maxims is this: The amount of money you make is directly proportional to the number of people you serve. What he's saying is that service precedes profit - every time. People are naturally willing to pay for the things that benefit them the most, so every business person needs to stop focusing on the profit and instead focus on the value of what they provide to their customers and clients. Find ways to expand the value, to improve upon it, to give them even more - and you make more profit in the relationship - every time.

The single greatest people skill is a highly developed interest in the other person.

The Go-Giver mentality that Bob Burg is so famous for championing can sound a bit utilitarian to some at first listen. How is it not simply another form of self-serving behavior? Bob says that beneath a Go-Giver mentality is a fundamental concern for the people you encounter. You can't expect to benefit from the interactions you have with people, even by applying the Go-Giver principles, if you are not genuinely interested in people. They can smell the hypocrisy right away and will be repelled by your Go-Giver attempts rather than drawn in by them. Find out how to best understand that distinction by listening to this conversation with Bob Burg.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:31] My introduction of Bob Berg - does he really NEED an introduction?
• [2:15] Why has Bob chosen to dedicate his life to the "Go-Giver" concepts?
• [4:02] The intent of "The Go-Giver": Shifting your focus from getting to giving.
• [7:00] Summarizing the laws of the Go-Giver Bob covers in his book.
• [12:40] How can you wisely choose who to serve?
• [17:10] Examples of a Go-Giver type of company.
• [20:10] The 5 elements of value you need to communicate to clients.
• [25:36] How do you become comfortable with asking for things?
• [29:50] How the Go-Giver concepts apply to leadership.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• www.TheGoGiver.com
• www.BobBurg.com
• BOOK: The Go-Giver
• BOOK: The Go-Giver Leader

If you've listened to Real Relationships for any length of time you know that the premise for the podcast and the business behind it is that relationships matter. It's not just that they matter for increased business and profit, it's that they matter for the long-haul to increase your quality of life. This episode features Nikki Beauchamp, a dynamic luxury real estate agent in New York City who has built her business on the referrals that flow out of the relationships she's established. She's a strong advocate for the power of relationships in building a business long-term. She and I chat about how she learned to build such cooperative relationships with her clients and what it means to make clients truly happy. You'll enjoy hearing her perspective, on this episode.

The power of relationships is seen long-term as you build a successful business.

You can't build an enduring business on a transactional approach - not without the process being harder than it needs to be. As I spoke with Nikki Beauchamp on this episode it became abundantly clear that the real power of relationships is that they progressively build a wider and wider network of connections that fuel your business through referrals, but only as you provide your first tier relationships with the service and value that places you "top of mind" in your industry. Find out how Nikki Beauchamp has done it and what you can expect to happen as you follow the same approach, on this episode.

Your CRM will make no difference if you don't first have a commitment to real relationships.

Nikki Beauchamp says that she loves the software tools that help her stay connected with her clients and network, but they'd be digital dust catchers if she didn't first have a commitment to making the power of relationships work for her business. She believes that the mindset that fuels an effective follow-up plan is key to MAKING it effective. It's what drives consistency and enables the genuine interest in your clients to be expressed. You can discover the way Nikki Beauchamp looks at the issue of relationships as they relate to the ongoing growth of her real estate business, on this episode of Real Relationships.

Be more interested in your client being happy long-term rather than the immediate transaction.

Every business needs closed transactions in order to be successful. But if you focus on the transactions you're potentially leaving a lot of future revenue on the table. The client involved in your transaction right now, or one of their friends or family members, is going to need the exact services you provide in the future. You want to serve your client during the present transaction in a way that makes you an obvious referral to those they know when that time comes. Nikki Beauchamp is a pro at building those kinds of relationships and she shares the mindset and approach she takes to build them, on this episode.

You have to figure out a relationship management system that works for you.

There's no piece of software that magically creates the perfect network follow-up sequence. You've got to find one that fits you and the way you work. When Nikki Beauchamp found Contactually, it was the perfect system for her because she found it intuitive to the way she thinks. It's been an instrumental part of her relationship building and maintenance systems and is one of the reasons she's able to devote ongoing attention to her network of relationships. This conversation I had with Nikki Beauchamp is full of great relational insights so be sure you take the time to listen.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:39] My introduction to my guest, Nikki Beauchamp
• [2:22] A story of client referrals that illustrates how Nikki Beauchamp builds her business.
• [6:00] The benefits of product knowledge when it comes to helping potential clients.
• [8:19] How Nikki Beauchamp has turned toward relationships in spite of feeling like an introvert.
• [11:53] How Nikki Beauchamp learned to build great relationships.
• [13:47] The process Nikki Beauchamp follows to discover if a person is a great fit to be her client.
• [16:15] The seeds that are planted through relational connections and how Nikki Beauchamp maintains her follow up and relationships.
• [22:44] What convinced Nikki Beauchamp it's worth the time to stay connected with her network.
• [25:09] One piece of advice around building relationship Nikki Beauchamp wants you to know.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• Nikki's website: http://www.nicolebeauchamp.com/
• Connect with Nikki via Twitter
• Connect via LinkedIn
• Connect on Facebook

What does it take to become the top of mind person in your niche - you know, the person people in the community think of when they think of that business or niche? My guest on this episode, Sean Carpenter has proven what it takes to become top of mind. He says it's relationships and that in his business (real estate), houses are the widgets used to foster beneficial relationships. He's never focused on selling a house or listing a property - he's focused on helping the people who live in the houses or helping the people who need to sell the house. It's served him incredibly well. Be sure you listen to get a taste of why Sean is an outstanding mentor in his part of the country when it comes to real estate success.

Want to be top of mind? Remember to solve problems.

Sean Carpenter reminds us that when you are able to truly solve problems that real people have, you become a trusted advisor and a great resource to them. And if you can do it in a way that makes the experience fun and memorable, you're well on the way to being their top of mind person in your industry. Sean shares how you can work toward having people think of you specifically when they think of your discipline and business niche, on this episode of Real Relationships.

Confidence, competence, and consistency give people a positive feeling about you.

And that's what it takes to become top of mind for your ideal clients. They need to first KNOW that you can do the job, and then they have to know that you WILL do the job reliably. It's the act of building trust and it happens over time. Those are the kinds of relationships that make you so valuable to people that they can't help but think of you. Find out how to go about building that kind of awareness in the minds of others from Sean Carpenter, on this episode of Real Relationships.

When it comes to maintaining relationships, either you control your schedule or someone else does.

Most people feel that the follow-up or consistency needed to keep up with online or distance relationships is not possible for them. But most people who say that simply aren't in control of their schedule and haven't prioritized the activity of follow-up as a business building activity they need to do every day. Sean Carpenter describes how he's been able to put a consistent practice of follow-up in place in spite of his busy schedule and gives some great advice on who you can start doing the same, on this episode.

Remembering and using people's names is the most non-obvious thing to move you forward.

When I asked Sean Carpenter for the most non-obvious but important thing he would advise his younger self to do in order to be successful, he responded without skipping a beat. He said that it's vital to learn how to remember and use people's names. Your name is the only aspect of language that you own personally, and the power of using someone's name not only blesses and benefits them, it also makes you stand out in their minds because few people take the time to remember and use their name. Find out more simple but powerful tips like this from my guest, Sean Carpenter by listening to this episode.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:35] Zvi's introduction of Sean Carpenter, Realtor and business builder.
• [2:01] Why Sean sees relationships as a critical part of life and business.
• [4:34] How Sean lost his fear of strangers and began building relationships.
• [6:36] The important task of building relationships day to day over the years.
• [10:13] Bridging the gap between urgent and important in your business and life.
• [17:54] Dealing with the unexpected issues that arise.
• [19:30] How to set up your business to be successful: prioritize your day.
• [21:17] The way Sean built a structured, successful business and life.
• [24:34] The most non-obvious but important tactic Sean has found in business.
• [27:59] Sean's ask from you, the listener.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• Sean's Website: http://www.carpscorner.net/
• 614-989-2277
• Sean on Facebook
• Sean on Twitter
• Sean on LinkedIn
• Sean on YouTube
• Callie the Puppy on Twitter

When you can add relational value to the people in your circle you discover doors open for you like never before. Derek Coburn is one of the people I've noticed adding true relational value to the lives of his clients and others he meets. He's become so convinced that is the best way to build a personal and business network that he's begun his own organization to host events that bring people together and add value to their lives. You can hear Derek's philosophy of how networking was not working, what he did to change the model, and the incredible results he's had as a result - it's all on this episode of Real Relationships.

Why you need to be of greater value to your clients than the service you do.

Many business owners provide a service or product to their clients, which means the reality they need to accept is that they are very much a commodity to their clients or customers. That means the moment a similar product or service comes along that offers a lower price or new bell or whistle, you could become expendable. How do you change that? By adding relational value to your clients and customers - by building relationships with them that matter. On this episode, Derek Coburn tells us how he's done that and how impacting and powerful it's become in his life and in the lives of the many people he's been able to connect with others over the years.

The core of great relationships is the feeling people have toward you.

Long-term, successful businesses are built on relationships. And you build the relationships by adding value to them, by providing things, experiences, resources, introductions to your clients that go far beyond what you actually do for them. That way you become a valuable resource, a go-to person who connects them with things that are truly helpful to them. They value you because they value what you add to their lives - and that's a feeling they have about YOU. You can learn how to think about this relational value approach to networking from Derek Coburn, a master networker, author, and financial advisor, on this episode.

In a commodity type business, you need to provide more than just your commodity.

Once you recognize that business with your regular clients could be at risk simply because they might see you as nothing more than a commodity, it's time for you to begin making a bigger impact in their lives - and that comes through adding relational value to them. You need to figure out the ways you can add incredible value to them, beyond what a normal "company" or service provider might do. It's the best way to stand apart from your competition and ensure that your clients never WANT to leave you. Find out how from Derek Coburn, on this episode.

If you want to build a relationship with someone influential, you'd better be thoughtful about it.

One of the best things you can do for your existing clients and customers is to introduce them to people you know that they need to know. But that requires that you are continually building relationships with influencers and high profile people who can truly BE an asset to your clients. On this episode of Real Relationships, Derek Coburn gives his advice about how to go about reaching out to the busy people you want to meet - and how to do it the smart way. You don't want to miss it.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:34] My introduction of Derek Coburn and why he's on this episode of Real Relationships.
• [1:30] The events that led up to Derek writing his book.
• [5:35] Why you need to be of greater value to your clients than the service you do.
• [7:30] How Derek's new ways of networking grew his business during the economic downturn.
• [11:45] Leveraging events to introduce clients to influencers and open doors to new relationships.
• [13:04] The exact things Derek did to help his clients and build his network.
• [18:10] The difference between success and failure in networking events.
• [23:50] Being of service to your clients in ways unrelated to what you do.
• [27:22] Derek's regular approach to maintaining relationships.
• [35:20] The most non-obvious but important activity to building real relationships.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• http://www.derekcoburn.com/
• http://www.cadredc.com - Derek's networking event organization
• Derek(at)DerekCoburn(dot)com
• BOOK: Networking is Not Working
• BOOK: Give and Take
• Calendly

If you want a competitive advantage in business you know that relationships play an important part in it. But it's not about how MANY relationships you have, it's about the level of quality those relationships are. On this episode, I am speaking with my friend Jayson Gaignard who is one of the most skillful people I know at building quality relationships. I asked him how he learned the skill, what he recommends for those who want to begin building quality relationships, and what the ROI is of doing so. You are going to learn a lot from this episode.

Why the ultimate competitive advantage in business is caring.

When it comes to building relationships, Jayson says that the most important thing you can do is truly care for people. In his words, "caring is the ultimate competitive advantage." As we talk, you will hear him describe many situations where his level of caring for a person is what made the difference in whether or not the relationship went deeper or fizzled out. His example is great one to follow and I encourage you to listen so you can get to know a little bit more about how he builds such lasting and powerful relationships.

Deep is better than wide when it comes to relationships.

Many of us these days feel connected with people simply because we have a lot of Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections. But if we are honest, we know those people are not individuals we are truly connected with. It's the deeper relationships the matter, not the number of connections you have. My friend Jayson shares how he goes about building deep relationships on this episode - and you won't find a person who knows how to do it better. Find out why he started hosting Mastermind dinners and how he recommends you could host your own dinners to build your network of deep relationships.

Who would you want to have dinner with? That's a great place to start.

Part of the reason Jayson began hosting dinners is because he realized that a good barometer of whether or not he would benefit from having a deeper relationship with a person, was to ask himself, "Would I like to have dinner with this person?" If the answer was, "yes," then he decided he might as well invite them to dinner and get on with it. It's an intriguing idea and one that helps to clarify whether or not there is true potential in the relationship. Listen to this conversation to find out more about building relationships that serve both you and the person you befriend, on this episode.

Amazing people typically know amazing people, so get started meeting them.

One of the things that has often astounded me about Jayson is the level and quality of friends that he has. It seems like he knows everybody who is anybody. When I asked him how that happened, he said that it started with one person. He has learned that amazing people typically know amazing people and your network of relationships builds from that first relationship naturally as a result. If you want to learn from one of the best when it comes to building relationships that matter, you have got to hear what Jayson has to share on this episode.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:24] My introduction of Jayson Gaignard.
• [1:11] Why are relationships such a crucial part of Jayson's business these days?
• [3:57] How Jayson learned the skill of building great relationships.
• [7:39] Jayson's approach: going deep with people instead of going wide.
• [12:08] What is Jayson's criteria for choosing the right people to go deep with?
• [17:10] The slippery slope of seeking a return from relationships.
• [26:16] Can you do so much for people that they start feeling bad?
• [29:10] Jayson's recommendations for hosting dinners for people.
• [33:55] The one most non-obvious but critical thing Jayson has learned about relationships.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• The Mastermind Talks Podcast
• jayson(at)mastermindtalks.com
• BOOK: Mastermind Dinners
• Mastermind Talks Events

One of the things Jon Levy will tell you from his research into human interactions and deep connections is that the thing that influences most as individuals is the people we are surrounded by. Jon has made it his business to learn all he can about the science and practical aspects of building meaningful connections - not just because it's interesting to him but also because it's a skill he wants to teach people so they can add true value to others. You won't want to miss this practical and powerful conversation.

To make sure your interest in people is real you have to care about them.

Foundational to building relationships that matter is taking a genuine interest in people. And though it's very basic, we have to understand that our interest in people can't be genuine if you don't really care about the people in view. Caring is at the heart of every interaction for the person who makes great, meaningful connections that serve others. Jon Levy emphasizes that point in this conversation as he tells how he first became interested in the dynamics of human interactions and gives very practical pointers for how you can show genuine interest in ways that are memorable and meaningful.

For an extraordinary life, surround yourself with the right people.

Most of us have heard the quote from Jim Rohn about being the sum of the 5 people you hang around with the most. But Jon Levy takes that much deeper. He points out that research demonstrates that it's not only the people you hang around who make the most significant contributions to who you become but also the people THEY hang around. You can find out how that connection is made and the impact it can have on the way you build strategic relationships, on this episode of Real Relationships.

It takes work to be remarkable. You can do it by being curious.

All of us want to be remarkable in our own unique way. And we want it because we find fulfillment in knowing that we've made a difference in someone else's life. But few people are able to be remarkable by accident or by default. It takes intentionality and hard work. That's the point Jon Levy makes on this episode - and his tips on how to do that hard work are invaluable. If you want to know how to make a bigger impact through the chance encounters and intentional meetings of your life, you need to hear what Jon has to share on this episode.

Would you like to make influencers remember you? Focus on your last interaction.

Jon Levy unloads a wealth of knowledge about how to build meaningful relationships through genuine care and hard work on this episode. An example of the insight he shares is that research is showing that the reason we remember certain experiences has to do with both the high points or moments of the experience AND the final moments. Knowing that equips us to think more strategically about the meetings we have. Are there things we can do to leverage the experience toward being memorable? Jon says we absolutely can. Find out what he suggests and how it can impact your ability to make meaningful connections, on this episode.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:29] My introduction to Jon Levy, an expert in communication and connection.
• [1:56] The background and upbringing that pointed Jon toward connections.
• [3:42] How Jon reaches outside his own comfort zone to reach out to diverse people.
• [6:50] How Jon's influencer dinners function to connect people.
• [13:35] The things Jon has learned about relationships through researching for his book.
• [18:31] Baiting people into asking you more conversations.
• [20:48] A litmus test for determining the effort you should invest in a connection.
• [23:33] Understanding the Ben Franklin Effect.
• [26:29] How can we apply connection strategies with influencers in real life?

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• http://www.jonlevytlb.com/
• BOOK: The 2 AM Principle
• The Ben Franklin Effect
• Interview with Jon on The Art of Charm about Influencer Dinners
• Jon's conversation with Jordan Harbinger about his book, The 2 AM Principle

Before Roh Habibi was featured on Million Dollar Listing he was already an amazingly successful real estate broker in the San Francisco Bay area. He says that his success was not built on technology or fancy real estate strategies, but rather through building real relationships with people. He's my mind of guy. On this episode of Real Relationships, you're going to hear how Roh started his business, built it to scale, and is now working hard to be the go-to guy for real estate in the bay area. It's a great conversation.

You have to create systems and strategies in order to survive in real estate.

When I asked Roh Habibi how he's been able to scale up his business to the heights he has, he immediately pointed to the need for systems and approaches that enable him to keep up with all the relationships he's been able to initiate or build through the years. "It's just too much information to keep track of," he says. "You need contactually or mailchimp or something that can help you keep things organized." In our conversation, Roh unpacked how he does these kinds of things effectively and the tools he uses to make it happen, so be sure you listen so you can get tips from his best practices.

The lifeblood of your business is your sphere of influence and contacts.

Roh Habibi says that real estate has always been a relationship business and he's a guy who lives it out like you wouldn't believe. He's been so successful building relationships that fuel his business he actually gets invited to the birthday parties of his client's children. That's a close relationship - and it's the lifeblood of his business. When I asked Roh how he's gone about building those types of relationships he had some great things to share, so I hope you'll take the time to learn from a guy who is doing it right.

Career fulfillment comes from working with people you love working with.

We all know what it's like to scrape and scratch to get the next sale or find the next lead. And because we are so desperate, we'll wind up working with just about anyone at that point. But Roh Habibi says that because it's so stressful and demotivating to work with people who are hard to work with, you want to steer away from that approach as soon as possible. The way you do it is by paying attention to who you really love working with and learn how to ask them for referrals to others in their circle who are the same type of person they are. Getting those kinds of referrals enables you to serve the people you love to serve and gives them the opportunity to provide a great introduction to their friends (and you). Find out how Roh does it to great success, in this episode.

When you teach people how to refer you, magic happens.

Every business owner wants referrals from his/her clients. But getting those referrals is not always so easy. Even the offer of referral bonuses or commissions isn't enough to motivate clients to refer, sometimes. Roh Habibi believes the problem could be in the WAY business owners ask for referrals. He believes in making it easy for his clients to refer him and goes so far as to tell them exactly how they can do it in the best ways. This tip alone is worth the time it will take you to listen to this episode, so grab something to take notes with and listen!

Outline of this great episode

• [1:16] Why Roh made the conscious decision to move into real estate from finance.
• [3:02] How his career exploded once he got into real estate.
• [5:39] The lifeblood of Roh's business is his sphere of contacts.
• [13:10] How Roh learned to build great relationships: trial and error.
• [14:10] Roh's regular process for relationship building and nurturing.
• [17:50] The most obvious but non-intuitive tactic Roh uses to build his business.
• [20:30] The best way to go about building a business: face to face meetings.
• [23:13] Roh's biggest "ask" of you.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• http://thehabibigroup.com
• Contactually
• MailChimp

Chris Fralic is one of the most intentional, genuine people I know when it comes to building relationships. He sees himself as a connection maker and works hard to ensure that he's thinking long-term instead of simply transactional. On this episode of Real Relationships, Chris shares how he developed his emphasis on relationships, why it's important for business builders, and how it applies to things like follow-up, email, and introductions. You'll get a ton of value from this conversation with Chris.

You've got to see relationships as long-term opportunities that stretch beyond one transaction.

Too often in the business world, people network or connect with an aim to closing a deal or getting an introduction that will lead to a closed deal. But Chris Fralic has learned - sometimes the hard way - that relational opportunities he has now are something he needs to foster and develop over time because the transaction is not the only thing to consider. There may be interactions or benefits that come to both sides of a relationship in the future that won't happen if the relationship is not taken seriously. Find out how Chris builds the real relationships that come back to him in great ways later, on this episode.

How do you get around the icky factor that you often feel when building business relationships?

We all know the feeling. Someone asks for an introduction to someone we know - or we are meeting with someone who was introduced to us and there's that "icky" feeling that comes from knowing the interaction is probably only aimed at gaining a pitch opportunity. Is it possible to get around that dynamic - and if so, how? My guest on this episode, Chris Fralic shares a handful of tips you'll find helpful, so be sure you take the time to listen.

Can you execute the right level of email responsiveness and still be authentic?

There are so many automation tools for email these days, and for good reason. We all need to make the most of our time and responding to emails is not always one of our high-level tasks. But Chris Fralic says that everyone needs to know how to do email from a relational perspective if they are going to be a long-term success. On this episode of Real Relationships, Chris shares exactly what he means by that statement and how he applies it in his own busy life.

Are you creating obligations for others in the introductions you make?

It happens quite often that people hear a podcast or conversation about the importance of being of value to others by being a connector. But too often those novice connectors jump right in by making "obligated" introductions. If you aren't sure what that means then you need to hear this conversation I had with Chris Fralic. He's got some great tips for how you can introduce people in a way that graciously gives both sides an out. It's a considerate step in making introductions that will position you as a considerate person in the minds of both parties. You don't want to miss this one.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:34] Chris Fralic - today's guest on Real Relationships.
• [1:35] Where Chris' passion for building great relationships comes from.
• [3:58] How Chris has grown his relationship building skills over the years.
• [6:55] Getting around the "icky" feeling that can come from business relationship building.
• [10:04] The long term game of relationships and the challenges of keeping that truth top of mind.
• [18:49] Why Chris believes everyone has to learn to be good at email.
• [24:54] The reason Chris emphasizes doing work upfront before making introductions.
• [30:36] The one most non-obvious but important tactic for building relationships.
• [32:52] How to connect with Chris.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• First Round Capital - chris(at)firstround(dot)com
• First Round Capital FAQ
• How To Work A Conference - an article Chris wrote
• The Art of The Email Introduction - an article Chris wrote
• Send Later
• Rescue Time

Michelle Lederman would never say that she can teach you to be likable, even though she's author of the book, "The 11 Laws of Likability." But what she would tell you is that there are very specific things that contribute to our take away from your ability to be likable. The more you understand these things - and more importantly, understand yourself for the sake of working on your likability - the more likely it is that you will become a person others feel they can know, LIKE, and trust. I'm glad Michelle agreed to be on the show. She unpacked some of the vague terms we hear these days like authenticity, vulnerability, and more. You'll enjoy this episode.

Your level of likability will dictate your success in business relationships.

You've probably heard the mantra floating around the business world these days - people need to know, like, and trust you in order to do business with you. My guest on this episode, Michelle Lederman believes that it's truer than ever because the economy we're living in is what she calls a "connection" economy. That means we're making connections with people at a faster rate than ever before, which requires our first and ongoing impression on the people we're connecting with all the more important. You can hear how Michelle coaches people to increase their likeability in authentic ways, on this episode of Real Relationships.

Research shows that happiness comes from relationships and connection.

Even in business, happiness comes from having meaningful and productive relationships. It's a given that you have to establish trust with real people if you're going to have any hope of success in your professional life. But my guest on this episode, Michelle Lederman told me that research has demonstrated that it's more than success that is at stake - it's also happiness. Find out how the relationships you have - even in the business environment - contribute to how happy you are as a person. It's an amazing concept that shows that relationships are vital to our well-being.

An authenticity hack you can apply to your to-do list.

When it comes to your to-do list you likely don't think about it in terms of relationships. But Michelle Lederman insists that if you don't, you'll miss one of the most powerful hacks you can do to increase your ability to be authentic. Find out how Michelle hacks her to-do list to make her dreaded meetings and appointments into things she actually enjoys and looks forward to. It's one of the ways that authenticity can be made practical and beneficial for your work and home life.

If you don't believe in yourself, nobody else will either. Confidence matters.

When it comes to being likable, Michelle Lederman says there are three "C"s that really matter. Clarity, confidence, and connection. Out of the three, she says that confidence is one of the most important simply because none of us like being around people who ooze insecurity. In the business world it's even more important because nobody wants to do business with someone who is unsure of themselves or their company's ability to come through on an agreement. You can hear how Michelle advises her clients to increase their personal confidence and thereby become a person who can be trusted, on this episode of Real Relationships.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:23] My introduction of today's guest, Michelle Lederman
• [1:16] Why Michelle is so passionate about building great relationships.
• [2:35] The value of nurturing relationships beyond the opportunities they provide.
• [6:00] How Michelle learned to be likable herself.
• [8:12] The authenticity hack Michelle advises people to apply to their to-do list.
• [15:21] Finding the balance between vulnerability and capability.
• [20:01] How clarity, confidence, and connection contribute to likability.
• [24:29] The biggest and most important key to authentic relationships.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• Websites: www.michelletillislederman.com/, www.executiveessentials.org/
• http://www.michelletillislederman.com/GiftPack - Michelles free downloads
• YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/user/MichelleLederman
• Social Media:twitter.com/mtlederman , facebook.com/MichelleTillisLederman
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/communicationexpertspeaker
• BOOK: The 11 Laws of Likability
• BOOK: Nail the Interview, Land the Job

Social media is supposed to facilitate truly social interactions between real people - in other words, it's supposed to build real relationships. Amy Chorew, my guest on this episode, says that if your use of social media is not facilitating a real social relationship with people, then you don't understand the purpose of social media. Amy is a former real estate agent now working with Better Home and Gardens Real Estate. Her role there is specifically aimed at helping real estate agents better use social media to foster social relationships, with the hope that those relationships lead to sales. You'll enjoy hearing Amy's enthusiasm and perspective, so be sure you listen to this episode.

Why you have to be the same person online as you are offline.

One of the key things to using social media wisely is that you make sure you are not putting on a facade or face to the digital world. It's vital that you represent yourself honestly and accurately if you want the watching world of social media to take you seriously. It's the "know, like, and trust" factor that you're aiming for and you can't do that if you're being dishonest about who you really are. But that doesn't mean you post everything that comes into your head - you've got to be strategic, and my guest on this episode of Real Relationships, Amy Chorew helps us understand what that looks like and how each of us can do it wisely.

It's vital to choose what you will talk about online and what you won't.

There are so many opinions and rants posted on social media, and many of us are immediately turned off by them - especially if they bring up a negative memory or experience. Amy Chorew says it's easy for real estate agents and other business professionals to fall prey to their own lack of discernment about what is appropriate and actually helpful to share on social media and what is not. On this episode, she describes how she went about choosing exactly what she would and would not share on social in order to build the kind of social relationship she wants with others. She also tells us what went into making those decisions. It's a very helpful tip, so be sure you listen.

Any social media tool has to bring things back to the relationship you have with people.

When I asked Amy Chorew how we should go about choosing the social media tools that we use to foster relationships, she said we should first keep in mind that every social media tool has to be effective at highlighting the real relationship we share with each person rather than simply blasting out content. It's a distinction that's not immediately intuitive but I believe it is very helpful, so be sure you hear what Amy shares on this episode.

If the social relationship you're pursuing isn't aimed at the real relationship, you're missing the boat.

Every social relationship has its own unique set of characteristics - from the background you share with the individual to the online conversations you've engaged in together. It's in those distinctions that you find common ground and are able to build a real relationship that lasts over time. But too many business people are building relationships online for the sake of gaining leads or adding numbers to their stats - and that misses the point of how business and social media fit together. My guest on this episode, Amy Chorew helps us understand how to focus on the real relationships behind our social interactions - and reveals why it has such a huge impact.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:34] My introduction of my guest today, Amy
• [1:28] Amy's focus on educating real estate agents to be more effective.
• [7:50] Learning how to be scientific about your social media approach.
• [11:10] Does the industry suffer from shiny object syndrome?
• [13:16] How to choose the best tools and approaches to make connections.
• [18:40] How can real estate agents remain consistent in their social relationships?
• [22:06] The best ways to facilitate relationships with personal coaches and mentors.
• [25:46] How to become more disciplined for the sake of nurturing social relationships.
• [29:50] The most important but non-obvious tips for moving forward.
• [32:01] How to connect with Amy.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate
• Amy(at)AmyChorew(dot)com
• Connect with Amy on LinkedIn
• Connect with Amy on Twitter
• How To Use Social Media As A Realtor
• The Digital Landscape Graphic
• Evernote
• The Work Life Performance Program