Many single people say they want a relationship and are ready to meet someone but have not done the work it takes to be ready to accept someone into their lives.

Before you can attract your ideal partner, you need to be very clear on the type of partner you would like. Otherwise how will you know it is ‘the one’ if you don’t even know what it is you’re looking for?

This week I discuss how to know you are ready for a relationship and how you can become ready by focusing on a few key areas.

Download the Partner Checklist and use it to establish clear criteria on what it is that you are looking for in a partner and a relationship.

If you are interested in doing more work like this you might want to consider the Mancave Mastermind Program for men and the Womenology Masterclass for women where we discuss topics like this as well as elements such as goal setting, overcoming setbacks, personal relationships, work relationships, leadership and mentorship traits and much more. The next groups kick off in Jan 2017.

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Holidays should be a time of fun and laughter and family, especially the festive season. But for some people, it's like sticking a knife in their stomachs and slowly turning it....especially if you are a Singleton.

Many single people dread the festive season because they know they are going to have to answer a million and one questions from family members and distant relatives as to what their relationship status is, or why they haven't settled down yet?

Learning to survive the holidays is key for any singleton if they want to come out on the other side physically and emotionally unscathed.

This week I share a few quick tips on how to survive the upcoming holidays as a Singleton.

If you are interested in my upcoming programs for men be sure to check out the Mancave Mastermind Program or, for the ladies, have a look at The Womenology Masterclass. They’ll be kicking off in Jan 2017 and are jam packed with tools and insights to help you become a better person, partner and leader.

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This week I continue talking to Allan and Margaret Hirsch on what it takes to build a successful marriage and business.

Allan shares how his limiting beliefs initially held him back from achieving his dreams but with commitment one can overcome anything and this is how he overcame his dyslexia.

Margaret shares how they lost everything overnight and had to build their business back up again from scratch and the perseverance and resilience that kept them going.

They also share some of their success factors such as how they share the leadership in the business, the value of their suppliers, investing in their staff by empowering them, how they are uplifting the many people around them as well as what some of their greatest joys have been to date.

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Today I talk to Allan and Margaret Hirsch from Hirsch’s Homestore as to what it takes to build a successful relationship and business and how they keep the balance between work and home.

This dynamic couple also do such incredible work to empower individuals both within their business as well as in communities.

As a couple, if you have not read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it as a way to strengthen and build your relationship. You can also do the online assessment here.

If you are a women you may want to plug into the Hirsch’s monthly women networking events, and you can also follow Margaret on Facebook to keep up to date with the amazing work that she does in communities.

Be sure to listen to my podcast next week where I will be speaking to Margaret and Allan about their business challenges and what they consider their success factors.

Please pop a comment below this podcast with your thoughts on what you think it takes to build a successful marriage.

I love getting feedback and hearing from followers, or you can email me at [email protected]

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When we get stuck in the blame game there can be no winning, only degrees of losing.

This is probably one of the hardest cycles for a couple to break when they are caught up in the blame game. It’s a constant keeping score, stonewalling, waiting for the other to make the first move and more. When in fact very little actually happens and instead the wedge just gets driven deeper and deeper between the two until there is no coming back from it and the relationship completely breaks down.

Here are some questions you can use that will go a long way to start getting you out of the blame game cycle and back on the same page with each other again:

What can I do that can create more safety in our relationship?

How can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner?

How can I be more curious about what my partner is experiencing even if I don’t agree with them?

How can I let go of the need to be right?

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony

If you have any questions about this week’s podcast or would like to hear about a specific topic, please pop me an email [email protected] I’d love to hear from you.

You can also find some great FREE tools on my website here for couples and here for singles.

Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert in Johannesburg. She teaches individuals and organisations how to cultivate healthy relationships in their personal lives and workplace using EQ skills, Imago Therapy and NLP principles. Paula is also the author of Embracing Conflict - a self-help guide filled with practical tools and insights. Attend one of her regular monthly workshops for great empowering tools - www.paulaquinsee.com

It always amazes me how we are prepared to invest so much time, effort, energy and resources into areas of our lives such as the car we drive, the house we live in, our career and material assets. Yet we don't think much further than our wedding day as to what it takes to sustain a relationship and only grudgingly invest in our relationship when the divorce courts are looming....

The reality is that there is no such thing as the perfect person or perfect relationship. Rather, it’s how perfect can you be for each other and for the benefit of your relationship.

It’s the small steps you take each day that lead to your success in the long term. Everyone can have a happy relationship if they are prepared to do what it takes.

So what are some of the ways that couples succeed at their relationships?

Listen to this week’s episode to get some great insights on how couples make their relationships work.

Don’t miss out on the Mancave “Meeting of the Minds” session on Thurs 17 Nov 18:30-20:30 in Jhb, get more info here or email me to reserve your seat.

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There are times when we question our relationship, particularly in those dark moments when everything feels like hard work and we’re questioning whether it’s worth it or not…

Before you think about ending your relationship, there are some questions you need to ask yourself as part of your decision making process:

1. Are you there for all the right reasons?

2. What do you really love about your partner?

3. How badly do you want to fix your relationship?

4. What is your level of commitment to making the relationship work?

5. How will you both keep each other accountable to uphold your end of the deal and keep your relationship from slipping back into old habits?

Even if your relationship is not in a negative place, asking each other these questions can help you breathe new energy into your relationship.

We seldom review our relationships as to what’s working and what’s not working and only realise that something is wrong when we’re heading down the rocky road to break-up or divorce.

Find out more about the Mancave Mastermind program for men, or you can also find out more information about my workshops on my website, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

You can also pop an email to [email protected], I’d love to hear from you and answer any questions you may have or other topics you would like to know more about.

January is known as divorce month. How can you get through the tough holidays intact?

Podcast one from author, speaker and relationship advisor, Paula Quinsee.