When we get stuck in the blame game there can be no winning, only degrees of losing.
This is probably one of the hardest cycles for a couple to break when they are caught up in the blame game. It’s a constant keeping score, stonewalling, waiting for the other to make the first move and more. When in fact very little actually happens and instead the wedge just gets driven deeper and deeper between the two until there is no coming back from it and the relationship completely breaks down.
Here are some questions you can use that will go a long way to start getting you out of the blame game cycle and back on the same page with each other again:
What can I do that can create more safety in our relationship?
How can I talk about my own experience without blaming my partner?
How can I be more curious about what my partner is experiencing even if I don’t agree with them?
How can I let go of the need to be right?
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Dr. Robert Anthony
If you have any questions about this week’s podcast or would like to hear about a specific topic, please pop me an email [email protected] I’d love to hear from you.
You can also find some great FREE tools on my website here for couples and here for singles.
Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert in Johannesburg. She teaches individuals and organisations how to cultivate healthy relationships in their personal lives and workplace using EQ skills, Imago Therapy and NLP principles. Paula is also the author of Embracing Conflict - a self-help guide filled with practical tools and insights. Attend one of her regular monthly workshops for great empowering tools - www.paulaquinsee.com