The current landscape of our culture has adopted some pretty disheartening and regrettably true monikers over the past decade, a decade redefined and reshaped by social media. Outrage culture. Cancel culture. Us against them. The list goes on and on.  And while genuine conflict with those we are in close relationship is both natural and often necessary, we’ve gone on full attack in this behind-the-screen war zone without any training for how to “fight well” online. True conflict can sharpen relationship. But is the social media boxing ring threatening the way we as a society, as individuals, and as people called to love our neighbors navigate disagreement?

Let’s be perfectly clear: turmoil online is almost never the kind that sharpens or depends relationship. But it’s real, it’s rampant, and it’s right in front of us on a seemingly daily basis. Everyone has a voice, a keyboard, and a louder opinion than the next guy. This week on She’s in the City we dive into some hard, real talk on how to handle this online outrage culture as followers of Jesus.

When do we turn the other cheek and when do we flip tables? How and when do we hold our tongues online and how and when do address antagonism aimed at us from others?

A few things we’ve come up with:

• Do you have a real relationship with the person behind the post?

• Do they have your wellbeing in mind?

• Are your words intended to open minds or close doors?

• Are you offering a solution or just criticism?

• Have you taken time for the passion and emotional defenses to die down before responding?

This is hard stuff, people! It’s easy and fairly low risk to fire bullets from behind a screen. Just as easy as it is to deflect any and all critic of yourself or your beliefs as misrepresented, misinformed, or just plain ignorant. But as those called to love not just friends but enemies, we must heed the difficult but humble words of Tim Keller: 

“Getting defensive about criticism rarely, if ever, leads to healthy outcomes. It has also taught me that our critics, including the ones who mischaracterize and falsely accuse us, can sometimes be God’s instruments to teach and humble us as persons.”

This is the last way we want to receive criticism. But it may, in fact, be the first step away from the battlefield of social media cancel culture, and we, as believers, should absolutely be on the front lines.

For more great biblical insight on this topic, see Pastor Scott Saul’s latest blog post on “Internet Outrage, Public Shaming, and the Modern-Day Pharisee Phenomenon.”