We all know Lauren Alaina the singer/songwriter, platinum-selling artist, and newly inducted member of the Grand Ole Opry, and we love her! But today we’re getting a more personal look at the Lauren off the stage as she shares about her newly released book, Getting Good At Being You. In the book, Lauren tells stories and experiences from the last decade and a half that have shaped her into the bubbly, talented, powerhouse she is today. 

The whole book walks readers through her decade-long struggle to, as she puts it, learn to love her whole, authentic self. While the book runs the gamut of professional struggle to family issues to toxic dating relationships, much of her message focuses on struggling to embrace her body. With body image being a chronic struggle for most women, Lauren was thrown onto the public stage at just 15 when she was voted runner-up on American Idol. And while she is grateful for her childlike fearlessness looking back --

“I owe every single thing I have to that 15-year-old girl having the confidence that she had something special and could go and do that.”

 -- her overnight fame left her struggling with years of bulimia and harsh exercise regimes with false hopes of the “fitting a mold of pretty” that would prolong her success.

The heart behind the book is this:

“The book was my opportunity to share with women that everyone struggles. Struggle isn’t something to hide or be ashamed of. Struggle helps make us who we are.”

She shares everything from practical health routines and positive self-talk to the importance of keeping strong friends and faith. At the end of the day, Lauren is championing the simple but life-changing message of love – for ourselves, for others, and for the Lord – that has finally helped her get good and being and loving her true self. She is an absolute gem of a woman with a heart of gold. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing your stories and your music with the world!

Nicole Zasowski is an LMFT (marriage and family therapist), mom of 3 (under age 6!), and the author of 1 of my new absolute favorite books: What If It’s Wonderful?: Release your fears, choose joy, and find the courage to celebrate. The book was birthed out of a long season of change and loss for Nicole, one that displaced her family from coast to coast and that left her grieving five miscarriages in a span of four years. After all of her loss, Nicole found herself “terrified that hope would make a fool of me… I no longer felt brave enough to dream.”

She began to notice that even moments in her life warranting celebration left her feeling less joyful and more afraid of how or when that joy might be lost. She claims – through personal experience and much psychological research – that joy is the most vulnerable feeling we feel. Why?

“It felt safter not to hold the joy at all than to hold the joy that might break.” 

Don’t we all sometimes find ourselves waiting for the other shoe to drop? We may feel like we’re protecting ourselves, but as Nicole points out, we’re robbing ourselves of the good in the present when we put up walls to protect from the future that hasn’t happened yet.

“I’d faced a lot of loss. But [I realized] some of that loss was the refusal to engage with the life that I already had.”

So why do we resist celebrating?

1. We’re afraid of loss or disappointment.
2. We see celebration as a reward for good news or accomplishments when it should be a rhythm that helps us cultivate joy.
3. We’re unsure how to reconcile celebration and humility (seeing them as competing or mutually exclusive).
4. We hold back for fear of hurting others in hard seasons.
5. We don’t know how to engage with God in our joy (wondering: “Will my dependence on him - thus intimacy with him - fade when life is joyful?”).

So how do we actively and practically pursue joy/celebration?

1. Savor the ordinary; take mental snapshots of daily moments of delight.
2. Notice beauty.
3. Vocalize your gratitude as expressed thanksgiving to the giver.
4. Celebrate small things as a regular rhythm rather than holding out to celebrate big things as a reward.
5. Practice differentiating between “real feelings” and “true feelings.”

Through these practices and many more, Nicole calls us to learn to “love [yourself] where you are and grown from there.” She reminds us that celebration should not just tolerated but should be a spiritual discipline and an avenue for spiritual and emotional growth.

This message is for everyone in any season of life: the crushing it people, the suffering people, and the people on the grind in the middle. We can all learn to cultivate these life-giving rhythms of celebration. Because joy is not a luxury but rather, a lifestyle we have the power to employ.

Where to find Nicole?

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook

Alita Langford is an inspirer. I don’t quite know how else to describe her. Sure, she is a self-made businesswoman, a very talented singer and songwriter, a widow, and now a wife again and mom to 8, but more than all of that, she is an inspirer.

In 2016 Alita lost her late husband suddenly to unforeseen heart issues. She was 33 with 4 kids under the age of 6 and within the following 18 months, she also lost your mom and dad. It would be easy to assume her story is a heavy one, marked primarily with pain and uncertainty, both of which she’s certainly had her fill of. But to know Alita is not to know a woman of grief; to know her is to know a woman who fights for joy and life and love. To do life with her is to witness someone who lives from the victory she knows is hers in Christ, regardless of what’s happening to her or around her.

FOR THOSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STRUGGLE

Even in the darkest days of her grief, Alita was intentional to speak truth to herself daily, discovering the powerful practice of declaring aloud what’s true about God and true about herself. Though never dismissing or mitigating her grief, she began claiming what she knew God could do and redeem in her life, speaking it and writing it on her bedroom walls even when she didn’t yet feel it to be true.

“I FELT CALLED TO FIGHT – FOR MYSELF, FOR MY KIDS, FOR THE JOY I KNEW COULD COME BACK. IT WAS A CHOICE I MADE FROM THE BEGINNING TO LIVE OUT OF A PLACE OF VICTORY NOT VICTIMHOOD.”

Life in general – and especially in difficult seasons – calls us to fight for joy in the present even as we are waiting and trusting the Lord with our future. In the struggle, we can do more than just survive, Alita witnesses, we can actually grow into a deeper, richer us if we accept the call to endure and overcome. 

“IN THE STRUGGLE IS WHERE I REALLY MET MYSELF AND WHERE I FINALLY MET GOD FACE TO FACE.”

FOR THE WOMEN IN WAITING (ON LOVE, ON DREAMS, ON THE NEXT GOOD THING)

It was after 3 and half years of fighting, claiming, and waiting that Alita met her new husband, Rodney. And though she struggled at times to imagine how God would answer her specific and resilient prayers for a new husband and family, she speaks with such gratitude now about how God refined and restored her into an even better version of herself in the waiting.

To all who are disappointed, waiting on love or dreams or anything, Alita says:

“THE WAIT IS SO WORTH IT. DON’T DESPISE THE WAITING – UTILIZE IT – AND TRY TO ENJOY WHO YOU’RE BECOMING IN IT.”

FOR THE MOMS

As a mom of 8 (4 biological, 3 adopted, and 1 “bridged,” i.e. the baby she’s now had with her new husband), I asked Alita some practical questions to encourage and bring a little life to all the moms out there. Here’s a few that we cover:

1. How do you shepherd and lead kids through hard seasons?
2. Is it important that your kids see you struggle?
3. How do you resist comparing yourself to other moms?
4. How do you prioritize time for yourself as individual & as wife?

As chosen, resilient women of God, we all have the ability to walk in victory, no matter what we’re facing. Look to the example of this inspiring woman and claim what Scripture says is true about you as you fight for the future you’re waiting on.

Where do we follow you?

The Langford Life Podcast

Alita’s music

Facebook & Instagram

Sometimes all we need to make brave steps forward is a push from someone who’s made the leap themselves. Lauren Lowrey is that person. She knows the power a story can have to spur passion and hope in its hearers and she’s giving her heart, time, and talents to make sure inspiring stories are told. Not only is she an Emmy Award-winning broadcast journalist and anchor, she is also the founder and creator of the Ampstigator podcast, a term she coined combining the ideas of amplify (to bring intensity) + instigator (someone who initiates change). She’s here to tell stories of individuals in intense pursuit of change.

Lauren felt captivated by and called to champion the ampstigator lifestyle after personally facing a tough season of self-re-discovery. With more than 15 years of broadcast television under her belt, she finally realized she’d slowly become a version of herself she didn’t recognize. As on-camera talent, “there are a lot of things put on you that aren’t yours.” She’d be trained and tweaked and asked to fit a mold that she ultimately realized wasn’t true of her authentic self, and she began a journey – which she calls an “excavation” – to reclaim herself and her passions.

Throughout that process, she reached a place where she realized just sharing information at the news desk wasn’t deep enough. She wanted more. She wanted richer. She wanted to ampstigate.

“I wanted to tell stories that made a difference, that ignited change.”

So, that’s what she’s done. Ampstigator’s first season released in February of 2022 and features 13 guests that have catalyzed setbacks, struggles, and their unique life experiences into profound pursuits of purpose. Ultimately, this is Lauren’s outlet to bring healing and hope, to showcase individuals she admires who have reconnected with what lights them up, and to remind viewers that they can do it too.

“I wanted to show people how accessible purpose is. It can be simple and grand [at the same time].” 

We are all created with a specific purpose or purposes for our lives. For any who feel stuck or discouraged, Ampstigator will certainly ignite the needed change in your heart and equip you to take the next right step forward.

Where to follow:

Follow Lauren on Instagram

Watch Season 1 of Ampstigator

Check out info on the Reclaim Summit by Ampstigator

Mallory Ervin is a natural-born achiever. Not just as the oldest child in her big Kentucky family, but by the time Mallory reached her mid-20s, her accolades spanned from success as a childhood singer, being crowned Miss Kentucky and runner-up Miss America, as well as competing as a 3-time contestant on the show, The Amazing Race. Talk about a resumé!

She opens her new book, Living Fully: Dare to Step Into Your Most Vibrant Life, by sharing the life-changing season of addiction and recovery she faced eight years ago when her obsession with achievement and approval spiraled into addiction to prescription pills. Even when doctors warned her she was going to die if she continued the pace and lifestyle she’d been living, she remembers thinking, “I’d rather go out like this than anyone know what’s going on behind the scenes; I nearly lost my life to make sure I looked a certain way on the outside.”

And though her courageous journey to re-discover a fulfilling and healthy life began with at rock bottom of her addiction, Mallory’s story is about far more than substance recovery. In the book, she records her years of work to resist a life of excess and to pursue balance, simplicity, and ordinary joys – just a few of the ingredients she’s discovered that finally led her to a life that’s truly full.

“I wrote the rest of this book to the person I am now [not just those with substance addictions]; the person who longs to live a bigger, fuller life.”

This conversation and her book are full (pun intended) of daily practices and lifelong truths that can help you shift your perspective toward one that leads to authentic, rich living. Here are just a few we touch on:

“How to avoid life in default mode and quit living on cruise control.”

“Absence of bad is not a qualifier for a good life.”

“Living fully isn’t the same thing as your days being full.”

“Take chances. Pain avoidance is a powerful motivator for mediocrity.”

“The simple life brings ordinary joy. It is always the in between moments, the real-life moments, that bring me the most happiness.”

“We must continue to re-choose our faith, again and again.”

Mallory shares more about how she discovered and how we can pursue these effective mindsets, practices, and much more. But the common denominator for all is that we have a choice.

“It is our choice every day to live a full life.”

Let’s start now!

Follow Mallory:

• Instagram
• Book
• Podcast: Living Fully with Mallory Ervin
• All Other Things Mallory

 Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston – both writers, both hilarious storytellers, both moms to many kids – connected online after experiencing tough seasons of loneliness. Even in the hustle and bustle of working and writing, mom-ing and wife-ing, they’d both discovered a lack of rich friendship connections and felt sure tons of other women must feel that way too.

What began as a shared love of enneagram, Mexican food, going commando in leggings, sharing too much personal information transformed into an online solace for women struggling to find and maintain a genuine adult friendship. In 2019 the Facebook page “Sister, I Am With You” was born, and now their thriving community consists of over 1 million followers as well as their new book, I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants): Finding Unfiltered, Real-Life Friendships in This Crazy, Chaotic World.

This wildly entertaining and tearfully honest pair call the book “a handbook on authentic adult friendships” – a concept that seems simple on paper but can be so hard to navigate in real life. Through every chapter, they give honest accounts of their own struggles with friendship as adults and validate how hard connection can be in a chaotic world with little margin time. But they also remind us that all it takes is one courageous step toward someone new – toward genuine connection – to build a foundation for authentic friendship. You are never too old, and it is never too far out of reach.

We talk about some of the lies that we tell ourselves as women about friendships and why desire for intimate friendships is NOT a luxury or selfish desire, but a NECESSITY.

A few lies to watch out for:

• It would be embarrassing to admit I am lonely.
• People will always let me down, so it’s better not to trust them.
• Everyone already has their people.
• I am the only one who feels this way.
• I need to be impressive.
• Popularity equals connection.
• I need to filter out my mess.
• Friends should understand when you go MIA.
• Friendship is a luxury, not a necessity.
• Friendship just “happens.”
• As a mom friendship is selfish.

But even as we take brave steps toward new friends or deeper connections with current friends, it’s easy to be hesitant because of bad past experiences, insecurities, overthinking, etc. No one wants to be rejected, but as Amy reminds us,”

“For me, loneliness is less bearable than rejection. Take the first step.”

What we all ultimately crave is to be fully known and fully loved, and those kind of friendships take time and faith, and courage. Amy and Jess quite literally cheer us on and coach us through as we take steps toward authentic connection. They call us to live with brave vulnerability because “the kind of vulnerability that makes it possible for people to reject you is the same kind of vulnerability that makes it possible for people to love you.”

Show up. Be there for someone you already love or someone who’s new in your life. That’s where it all starts. Just be there, even if you’re there in your sweatpants.

**Listen to Chapter 1 of I’ll Be There audiobook here!

 Where can we follow y’all & support you?

• www.illbetherebook.com
• Sister, I Am With You
• Jess Johnston
• Amy Weatherly

Regardless of your age, relationship status, or stage of life, it’s very easy to wake up on any given day and find yourself just “going through motions.” With work and families and the unending to-do’s and obligations of adult living, we can get in the habit of mindlessly drifting from one day to the next without ever stopping to think:

Is this how I want to be living? Am I really living or just existing? What does it mean to be fully and fullfillingly alive?

In this week’s solo episode, Mattie takes some time to consider the ways that culture tells us we can attain an alive and vibrant life, as well as what Scripture says will lead to our being most fully alive. I know like us you’re tired of striving and hustling and spinning your wheels for temporary hits of happiness. We want nothing less than sustaining, life-changing joy for you.

In John 10:10, Jesus reminds his followers that “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

What does that abundant life really look like? And how do we get it?

Ultimately, life that is fulfilling and human beings who radiate hope and joy and passion – people who are living fully alive – are not just saved by God, they are in active relationship with God. They’re not just committed to Christ; they are connected to him on a regular basis and, as result, live more vibrantly and hopefully than they imagined possible. 

So, what does it look like to live connected to God? Let’s talk about it! Life’s too short to chase after empty promises for happiness. Join us as we look at what life connected to Christ can truly be like – vibrant, abundant, and one worth living fully!

After the past few years, we’ve all had, facing the prolonged effects of the pandemic and what feels like constant social unrest, our friend Lisa Whittle’s new (and 8th!) book could not come at a more welcomed time. Released in September of 2021, The Hard Good: Showing Up For God to Work in You When You Want to Shut Down addresses, with profound wisdom and without platitude, the struggles of living in a painful world where hard things just keep on happening.

When Lisa’s father died in 2017, she says his passing “was the catalyst to writing [the book], but in so many ways I feel like it’s just been an account of the ongoing journey of my life.” Each chapter recounts a hardship she’s walked through and her resilient work to discover God’s nuggets of good, even in very not good seasons. She never shies away from what real heartbreak looks like, but she also confidently and consistently lets Scripture have the last word in whatever she faces.

 Here are a few topics we hit on in our conversation:

Redefining good - The lies about the good life are pretty but covertly exhausting.

Holding both – Grief and joy can exist in the same space, but you often have to fight for joy!

Replacing shutting down with showing up - Take the power back from your emotions.

Kingdom purpose vs. Kingdom usability – You will determine your level of useability in the Kingdom by how you respond to the hard things.

Waiting - When we have to wait on God, we have to need God. Waiting is one of the best producers of what we need.

Through Lisa’s courageous yet tender storytelling, we are reminded that some of the greatest goods in this life come on the heels of some awfully hard things. It’s not our job to make diamonds from the coal or lemonade from the bitter lemons life hands us; but it is our job to entrust the hard to the good, good God who loves to bring beauty from ashes. This life will be hard, Lisa reminds us, but when we endure the hard with reliant and expectant faith, God can bring good from any hard if we let him.

 Our friend Lisa Whittle’s new (and 8th!) book could not come at a better time. Released last fall, The Hard Good: Showing Up For God to Work in You When You Want to Shut Down addresses, with profound wisdom and without platitude, the struggles of living in a painful world where hard things just keep on happening. Through Lisa’s courageous yet tender storytelling, we are reminded that some of the greatest goods in this life come on the heels of some awfully hard things and that God can bring good from any hard if we let him.

• Follow Lisa.
• Buy The Hard Good.
• Listen to: Jesus Over Everything podcast.

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month, and we are so grateful to have the CEO of local Nashville social enterprise company, Strings for Hope, to share their mission with us. Strings for Hope repurposes secondhand musical strings to make beautiful jewelry, all made by survivors of addiction, domestic violence, and human trafficking with the mission to empower and employ women in recovery. Emily Winters took over the company as CEO at just 21 years-old and has since brought tremendous growth and expansion, with retail partners carrying Strings for Hope products all across the US.

In spite of her lack of experience at the time, Emily fell in love with the survivors SFH employs and set out to build the company as one that could continue to support part- and full-time employees in recovery. Even at a young age, she realized “if I let this fail, I could get another job, but many of these women couldn’t.” Her whole focus became about them, and it remains about them even as the company grows.

 “I felt like I saw opportunities for the broken strings [and women] that a lot of people couldn’t see. What we do is provide these women a choice and an opportunity with work. I’m just happy I can play that role [in their lives] with my business.”

Not only has she thrived as the leader of this gives-back company, she has also found remarkable beauty from the brokenness of her own story. As a survivor of domestic and sexual abuse by her alcoholic step-father, Emily has personally discovered the power that comes when we allow our own pain and trauma to become tools to empower and encourage others.  

“My story allows me to bring a sense of safety to these women and be an ally to them. As a young leader who ultimately doesn’t have a background in business or working with survivors, the pain of my past has made me feel worthy of being in this place.”

No matter how isolated we feel or what shame surrounds our past, none of us are ever truly alone in our pain, are we? Past traumas and wounds don’t make us weak. As Emily attests, they can become tools for us to be better, more compassionate leaders. There truly is beauty in brokenness if we have the courage to uncover it.

 How do we support, follow, and shop SFH?

• www.stringsforhope.com
• *Retail partners & pop-ups all across US

As we enter a new year, most of us find ourselves in the same place – between a finish line and a starting line. What do we want to change? Where do we want to go? What do we need from our people, from ourselves, and from the Lord?

We’re starting 2022 with best-selling author and speaker, Rebekah Lyons, who encourages us all to “take inventory,” which, if you’re anything like me sounds like a nightmare of numbers, color-coordinating pantries, and realizing you may be more of a hoarder than you let yourself believe. But in her book, Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose, Rebekah distills this idea of spiritual and relational reflection into four simple questions we can consider to better start this new year with transparency, peace, and renewal. She simply asks herself and asks the Lord to direct her in:

What’s right? What’s wrong? What’s confused? And what’s missing?

While seemingly daunting at first with a potential for skeletons to surface that we may not want to face, these simple questions are how we stop racing through life and start living into God’s best for us! “I don’t want to always have my head so down that I don’t see the bigger picture of what God is doing,” Rebekah says. Maybe taking inventory is just the place to start?

But how do we do this if we’re not big journalers or if time feels so limited for things like reflection and prayer? Check out just a few of the practical ways she offers.

Get quiet & do the heart work

“So often we don’t know where we are and how we are because we will not give ourselves permission to stop long enough and ask. We’re afraid of what will come out.”

Tech detox

“I wasn’t being true to my voice. I started writing and posting [on Instagram] what others wanted to hear, not what I wanted to say. [I started] running out of original thoughts because [I was] consuming everyone else’s.”

Trial and grief as a birthplace of fruit

“The fullness of joy depends on the fullness of healing. And the fullness of healing depends on knowing what needs to be healed.”

The heart of the matter is, we all crave, need, and are made for restful and renewing relationships with the Lord and with others. And we know how much courage it takes to prioritize and pursue that in our busy day-to-day lives! Rebekah defines bravery as “moving scared.” And sometimes that’s exactly what committing to rest feels like. Making a healthy move that’s scary; fearful of missing out, getting behind, or benching ourselves from all that’s before us.

It’s brave because it’s hard. It’s brave because it’s counterculture. It’s brave because it reminds us that we don’t have it all together, that sometimes we have to fall apart, and that we’re ultimately made for a place where eternal rest will be found.

“Rest reminds us that we will never arrive [on this earth]. It gives us permission to stop and remember life isn’t about getting to the next thing, it’s about obedience and faith growing in this next [year] more than it did in the last.”

So let’s just take a little inventory, shall we? Let the Lord show us what’s right, wrong, confused, and missing and soak up the delicious truth that He will carry us through those things in the now and will make perfect all those things in the end.

Happy New Year, everyone!