She's in the City by NaSHEville

Have you ever felt like you were moving forward yet nagged by a sense that you were driving in the wrong lane? You can see success and measure progress, but the farther you go, the more you begin to realize, “Maybe I want to be going a different direction?”

If so, this week’s guest knows just how you feel, and her story of professional and personal re-routing and resilience is exactly what you need to hear, so you can make whatever life U-turn you’re nervous to make. 

Singer songwriter, Brit Taylor, came to Nashville thirteen years ago from her home in eastern Kentucky. Country music was her past, present, and as she knew from an early age, it was going to be her future. So, she did the tough, boots-on-the-ground work, playing bars on Broadway for ten years while completing her music business degree and juggling a budding career as a songwriter. 

Though she was thrilled to be paid to write music as a young 20-something, the publishing company she’d signed with “strongly suggested” she pursue playing with a band rather than as a solo artist because “women weren’t making it solo in country music.” Just thankful for the work and eager to make connections, she obliged and continued writing but only performing with her two male bandmates. She was certainly moving forward, but quickly started to question if she was headed the right way.

“Everything was exactly the way that I wanted it, planned it,” Brit tells us. “I had it all – the marriage, the career – everything I’d asked God for for so long.” Until she realized, it wasn’t at all everything she wanted. “I realized I was married to the completely wrong person. I was writing music that wasn’t true to who I was, who I wanted to be, or how I wanted to sound.”

Not long after, her realized dreams became real-life disappointments. After his infidelity was revealed, her husband walked away from the marriage, and she fearfully yet boldly walked away from her publishing deal. Brit then found herself at true rock bottom – without a partner, without a job, and at risk of losing her house.

For the first time, she knew what she did not want for her life. Now, she “needed to figure out what way [she] wanted to go with [her] music.”

Brit’s story reminds us of the great power found in knowing what’s wrong before we can confidently know what’s right. Sometimes we don’t know what to pursue until we know what to walk away from.

“It’s crazy what you can do when you hit rock bottom.”

Enter Real Me, her first solo album, released November 2020. This record is as real, as honest, and as true country as it gets. Once she broke free from the molds corporate country was trying to put her in, Brit finally found the power of her own voice as a songwriter, artist, and woman.

“You can’t stand out and fit in a box at the same time.”

Once Brit stopped making music to try to fit into a category or meet others’ expectations, she could finally make music she loved without wondering where it would fit. Every track tells stories that are tough but true, worthy of both sadness and celebration. And in both the playful songs and heartbreak ballads, she assures listeners, “everything was definitely written in hope.”

Where to find Brit:

https://www.brittaylormusic.com/
@brittaylormusic
Real Me

I’m not broken, I’m not done
I get up more than I’m knocked down
Put myself right back the way I was found
I have scars, you know I’ve sinned
But they’re just souvenirs from where I’ve been
The cracks just let the light come in, I’m not broken

Who else feels like this is their mantra?? Maybe from a sickness or anxiety or the aftermath of 2020’s disruption and uncertainty? Maybe you’re grieving a friendship or the loss of a marriage like this week’s guest, Sarah Jane Nelson? Either way, hear us say – YOU’RE NOT BROKEN! You’re not done!

Sarah Jane knows this painfully hopeful refrain all too well and the fingerprints of her own story of heartbreaking infidelity and divorce are all over her album released June of 2020, I’m Not Broken.

“I had been telling other people’s stories [for a long time],” Sarah Jane tells us referring to her years of performance on Broadway, “and now I’m telling my own. And I’ve got some pretty big dreams for it.” 

As a forty-year-old single mom with two kids, Sarah Jane is the picture of what grit and unwavering commitment to a dream looks like. I’m Not Broken is the result of six years of totally transparent effort to process her own pain and to “reveal the universal truths of people struggling to find hope as their fantasy falls apart.” All of our fantasies have fallen apart somewhere along the line. All of us need to remember, we’re not broken, and the cracks really are where the brightest light comes in.

 The 12-track album is not to be missed and will bring life to any and every woman questioning how she’ll survive and if her story is worth telling. Spoiler alert: you will, and it is!  

When the title track, “I’m Not Broken” was released, messages flooded Sarah’s inbox with women replying, thanking her, and sharing how they’ve survived their own broken stories.

“Shame on all those people who said I shouldn’t sing my story…I have something to say that needs to be said, and there’s people that would like to hear it.”

We all do! And finding other women out there who can stand with us and who have walked and endured the tough roads that lie ahead of us is crucial. Sarah wraps it up best: 

“Admitting that I’ve gone through struggle – I don’t see that as weakness. I see that as strength.” 

And we know well, we’re all stronger together.

Where to find Sarah Jane:

Website and join her email list & Patreon group to get updates and pre-order her new album, Shelby Park!

I could not think of a better topic to re-start She’s in the City in 2021 than: STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP AND TAKE BACK YOUR JOY!

“Wow,” you’re probably thinking, “that’s exactly how I’m feeling. But how on earth do I do that??” 

Well, psychologist, life coach, and best-selling author, Valorie Burton, is here to tell us. Her most recent book, Let Go of the Guilt, gives us practical insight on how to do just that. She’s a 13-time author whose work is a combination of research, faith, and personal transparency, and we love her. Throughout her career, she’s focused much of her research and teaching on resilience, happiness, and guiding people into their greater potential, and GETTING UNSTUCK! 

The reason she wrote the book? She feels guilty too! Why? Because we all do!! All the time! 

“The catalyst for the book was truly the feeling of this consistent heavy sigh I felt from most of the women in my life – and felt myself,” Valorie says. 

We all live with guilt for different reasons – a heavy, shameful, sometimes even crippling guilt that can leave us feeling, exhausted, negative, and stuck. We have found ourselves ransomed by the endless “I should’s” of life, and it’s time we learned which ones are real and which ones we need to let go of so we can take back our joy.

Valorie separates guilt into two practical categories for us:

• Authentic guilt à meaning we really did something wrong that we need to own and make retribution for, something she calls a spiritual guide or conviction

• False guilt à meaning we are self-imposing the should’s or shouldn’t have’s on ourselves and letting them steal our joy, something she calls a spiritual detour or false narrative

**Hear more on these concepts at minute 20  

“Guilt is not always about feeling indebted to another person, often it is about feelings of not measuring up to our own expectations, including expectations we believe God has for us.” 

Not only does she examine the difference between authentic and false guilt, she also offers a simple, four-step tool to assess and free ourselves from false guilt! I won’t spoil it all here, but you can bet at the heartbeat of the process is self-awareness and self-compassion.

You do not want to miss this empowering, encouraging, and practical episode with Valorie. If the start of a new year isn’t the time to let go of the guilt when is?

Where to find Valorie:

www.valorieburton.com
@valorieburton
6 week video study of Let Go of the Guilt with book purchase @ here
Valorie’s podcast, Positively Psyched

Ever wondered what it’s like inside the grueling tryouts and competitions of American Idol? This week on She’s in the City, we get the inside scoop from Season 18 contestant, Lauren Mascitti. This girl is as talented and genuine as they come, and in being raised by her beloved grandparents was indoctrinated into gospel and classic country music from a young age. Much like us she loves Dolly, Patsy, Crystal Gayle, Linda Ronstadt, and Dawn Sears of The Time Jumpers, which she encourages all of us to check out. She gives us inside scoops on Nashville’s hallmark Station Inn and shares what great power she believes sorrowful ballads hold in breaking isolation and healing our heartaches. E.g. her own Ballad of a Broken Heart and Losing My Mind.

"I'm an old soul," Lauren admits, "and everything I really love tends to come from a time that's before my own."

But how did all this nostalgic sound and songwriting go over on American Idol, you wonder? Well as many of us remember, Lauren’s surge toward success came on the heels of her watershed performance on the show, God Made a Woman, a biblically rooted song inspired by and written much about her grandmother, Nana, who raised her.

Lauren admits her hesitance to pursue the American Idol competition, one that tends to lean more toward modern music and artists, but her courage to stick to her style and perform her own song in lieu of mainstreams options the judges encouraged paid off. She made a bold move and took the stage with just her guitar and a song so personal and close to home, and the reaction was overwhelmingly positive!

 Not only did God Made a Woman receive a standing ovation from all three American Idol judges, it surged to #18 on iTunes country singles charts and brought the whole album for which this song is the title track to #4 along with it. Even after being cut in the Top 20 round of the show, Lauren’s performance of God Made a Woman now has over seven million views on YouTube, Facebook, all the platforms and her album continues to see great success. 

Even though she didn’t end up where she wanted in the American Idol running, she tells us, the Lord used that song and that experience to take her even greater places. 

“I went into with the feeling that if He wants me to go further in it, I will. And if He doesn’t, there’s probably something down the road He’s protecting me from. It’s really all about trusting the Lord.”

Amen, Lauren! Thank you for your talent, your heart, and your voice.

Where to follow Lauren and her music:

@lauren_mascitti_music

https://www.laurenmascitti.com/

DO NOT MISS THIS WEEK’S PODCAST INTERVIEW!  

Why? Because I personally follow, love, and applaud this bold, direct, honest woman of faith. Blake Guichet is the founder and voice of Confessions of a Crappy Christian podcast. She loves Jesus, people, tough conversations, and alliteration (see podcast title), and we sit down to talk about all the things “good Christians” aren’t supposed to. Guess that’s why we’re crappy, huh?

When Blake got into podcasts several years ago, she found a lack of content for Christian women who wanted to discuss traditionally taboo issues. There were plenty of somewhat polished, fluffy, women’s ministry options, but none that talked about the tough issues that we face in real day to day life. Her approach? 

“If you can’t find it, make it,” she tells us. She wanted the conversations she was already having in inner circles to be had in public circles. Crappy Christian was her opportunity to lead honest conversations among Christian women and connect with them about things the Church doesn’t traditionally talk about.

i.e. sex, money, politics, and resisting mob social media and outrage culture just to name a few. 

Why hasn’t the church talked about these topics? Is it because no one has done it well before? Or that no one wants to be the first to shake the status quo or choose vulnerability over airs of false perfection? If you take one thing away from this week, hear this:

 As believers, us being honest that we’re unpolished and “crappy” is more of an invitation for others to consider the gospel than is us trying to look like we’re doing everything right. Our crap can bring people to the truth about Jesus and spur them to surrender their lives and crap to him too!

Don’t miss this week as Blake doubles down on both sex and politics. A brief teaser here:

Sex, including her 5-part podcast series let’s talk about sex series; her joint battle to #normalizeChristianPDA with America’s fav, DJ Tanner (aka Candace Cameron Buce); and how to talk about and make sexuality less taboo with your kids.

Politics, including how to be vocal and factual in sharing political preferences and perspectives without speaking out of emotion; how to align grace and truth as part of public political conversations; how we must maintain human compassion and empathy for all candidates (who are both crappy and made in the image of God) and the importance of voting policy over personality.

 If you too wonder about the hard topics that the Church often hushes and can’t seem to pinpoint our role in them as Christian women, don’t miss this episode. Blake is everything we believe women who are in the world but not of it should be.

Follow Blake @thegirlnamedblake, @crappychristianco, and https://www.crappychristianco.com/

How many times per day do we scroll? And how many times after scrolling, do we walk away feeling lifted up, full of life, and grateful for all our abundant blessings? I’d say not nearly as often as we walk away with our heads hung and minds spinning around everything others have that we don’t. The ways others are built or dressed better than us. The amount of time others have to exercise or play or travel. The fact that others have a happy family or, on the flip side, singleness, and freedom.

As much as we’d like to believe comparison and envy slow down after our teenage years, they don’t. The plaguing tendency to stare at someone else’s grass and obsess about how green it is follows us through every stage of life. Body image, relationships, parenting, careers, financial situations – the list of how we measure ourselves against others is endless. And what’s worse is that we all live in a world where everything is public. Everything is posted. Everything is followed and shared and liked or disliked.

How are we supposed to find satisfaction with ourselves and our situations when most of what we see on social media is calculated, filtered, and framed? No wonder we end up envious and discouraged when we compare our real life, hope-no one-ever-sees-this bloopers, so someone else’s highlight reel? Social media is by no means the enemy, but the enemy sure uses it to come after our joy, contentment, and ultimately trust in the Lord.

Most of us realize how much comparison can create distance, even bitterness, in our relationships and our marriages. But what we must also be careful of is that constant comparison and focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do, can with time create distance between us and God too. He fashioned us fearfully and wonderfully into exactly who He intended us to be, and the more we zero in on all He “missed” or is withholding form us, the more we position ourselves to start trusting him less.

On one hand, God knows every desire and disappointment of our hearts, and He can absolutely handle us bringing those to him in prayer! What we must be careful of is having the prayers for what we don’t have eclipse the countless “thank you’s” we owe him for what we do.

Gratitude is the single most successful antidote to envy!

Just like when we force a physical smile to keep us from feeling sad, there is power in choosing gratitude and rejoicing and celebrating with others even when they have something you don’t. It’s truly magic. When we show up and ask the Lord to give us joy for others in place of jealousy, God is faithful to provide it. And this is exactly how we will combat comparison and, in turn, start slowing addressing the depression, anxiety, and disappointments that envy feeds.

How many times per day do we scroll? And how many times after scrolling, do we walk away feeling lifted up, full of life, and grateful for all our abundant blessings? I’d say not nearly as often as we walk away with our heads hung and minds spinning around everything others have that we don’t. The ways others are built or dressed better than us. The amount of time others have to exercise or play or travel. The fact that others have a happy family or, on the flip side, singleness and freedom.

 

As much as we’d like to believe comparison and envy slow down after our teenage years, they don’t. The plaguing tendency to stare at someone else’s grass and obsess about how green it is follows us through every stage of life. Body image, relationships, parenting, careers, financial situations – the list of how we measure ourselves against others is endless. And what’s worse is that we all live in a world where everything is public. Everything is posted. Everything is followed and shared and liked or disliked.

 

How are we supposed to find satisfaction with ourselves and our situations when most of what we see on social media is calculated, filtered, and framed? No wonder we end up envious and discouraged when we compare our real life, hope-no one-ever-sees-this bloopers, so someone else’s highlight reel? Social media is by no means the enemy, but the enemy sure uses it to come after our joy, contentment, and ultimately trust in the Lord.

Most of us realize how much comparison can create distance, even bitterness, in our relationships and our marriages. But what we must also be careful of is that constant comparison and focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do, can with time create distance between us and God too. He fashioned us fearfully and wonderfully into exactly who He intended us to be, and the more we zero in on all He “missed” or is withholding form us, the more we position ourselves to start trusting him less.

On one hand, God knows every desire and disappointment of our hearts, and He can absolutely handle us bringing those to him in prayer! What we must be careful of is having the prayers for what we don’t have eclipse the countless “thank you’s” we owe him for what we do.

Gratitude is the single most successful antidote to envy!

Just like when we force a physical smile to keep us from feeling sad, there is power in choosing gratitude and rejoicing and celebrating with others even when they have something you don’t. It’s truly magic. When we show up and ask the Lord to give us joy for others in place of jealousy, God is faithful to provide it. And this is exactly how we will combat comparison and, in turn, start slowing addressing the depression, anxiety, and disappointments that envy feeds.

This week we’re having some real talk with one of NaSHEville’s favorite gals, Lexy Burke. Her list of credentials runs long, but where we love to see her fingerprints is in her work as videography as well as her self-appointed role as a “serial tipper.” Among other things we talk all about embracing life’s propensity for surprise and new opportunities as well as living from a place of generosity and how powerful the simple act of random giving can be.

This woman’s energy and why-not approach to life began with a “failed” acting career in her early twenties, a disappointment that ended up leading her to an unexpected passion for, degree in, and career in videography.

“Letting go of an old dream in order to pursue something new can be the coolest thing ever,” she tells us. “It’s totally okay to have multiple dreams.”

Haven’t we all lived this at some point? Especially in a year of such uncertainty and change. What has stalled you or felt like a failure this year that could be leading you into a new place in life? Step into it, sister!

Lexy also shares about launching a brand-new business venture, The Pink House, immediately preceding the COVID shutdown and how this year’s top social platform, TikTok, brought her business back to life. This place is truly the NaSHEville dream house and the most perfect place to visit and continue supporting our city. 

But one of the highlights of quarantine for me has been following @Lexylately and her TikTok Venmo challenge. With past experience in the hospitality industry, she has worried, as many of us have, for those whose incomes rely primarily on tips. She remembered a generous $1,000 tip she’d been given as a server years before and committed to pay that forward for those struggling during COVID. In May she began leveraging her social media platform and has since raised over $95,000 – 100% of which has been given to individuals in different facets of the service industry. She and her husband are still using their now 1.1 million follower community to generously give to real people in the real workplace here in Nashville. We are so inspired, grateful, and truly blown away by Lexy and her serial tipping in the midst of this uncertain pandemic season.

The cherry on top of this outrageously generous campaign? Anyone and everyone can contribute to this serial goodness. What’s Lexy’s average Venmo donation amount? $0.50-$1.50. Even in a tough financial season, there are thousands of lives ready and needing to be blessed, and it takes so little from us. Her work has absolutely renewed my hope in the random goodness of people and the power we have, even as younger generations, to help in small, simple ways. It certainly doesn’t take much, but as her 70-plus, $1,000 tip recipients will attest, it means the world.

 

What is unlocked?

Every piece of our jewelry is made by a woman transitioning out of homelessness, using recycled materials to bring you jewelry that's better for people and the planet.

ALEXIS COOK, CO-FOUNDER

We love when beautiful things are used for beautiful reasons. Like handmade jewelry that employs and supports Nashville’s homeless.

On this episode of She’s in the City, we sat down with Alexis Cook, Co-Founder of Unlocked Nashville, a social enterprise jewelry company that employs people transitioning out of homelessness. That’s right, not only do the company’s funds company go toward securing wages, housing, careers, community, and confidence for Nashville’s homeless, but the actual hands behind the product and names on the payroll have been hired off the streets and set in motion for hope of a better future. 

A Nashville native with compassion for humanity and compulsion to initiate change, Alexis launched Unlocked last year, her senior year as an undergrad at Vanderbilt, at age 22. She’d studied human organization and economics, but getting out of the classroom and onto the streets (figuratively and literally) left Alexis with what she laughingly calls, “an MBA on the fly.”

The year prior, she had been forced to take a medical leave of absence from school due to a debilitating battle with Lyme disease. In her “free time,” as she puts it, she didn’t wallow in bed or binge on Netflix. She walked the streets of downtown Nashville talking with and getting to know real people experiencing homelessness. She’d always had a heart for those living without homes and decided this was her chance to let them truly be seen and be heard. “At our core,” she says, “everyone’s the same.”

UNFORESEEN FINANCING

From there the story only gets crazier. A company whose business plan was scratched out in 30 minutes, sitting on a sidewalk curb while Alexis was locked out of her car, and whose start-up financing was a duffle bag of cash left to her at the verbal will of a dying homeless man himself – Unlocked is a story, a mission, and a brand you don’t want to miss!

“We started the company because we care about our makers, “ Alexis told us. Neither her nor her business partner, Corbin, had any background in jewelry, fashion, or design. They started by having the homeless women they hired craft and sell necklaces, each of which comes with the maker’s personal signature and bio. They’ve since expanded to bracelets and earrings and are currently pursuing opportunities for an all-green line of product.

“We love the idea that anyone can add beauty to the world, and that beauty can be found in the midst of anyone’s life or circumstances.”

We couldn’t agree more! Check out Unlocked’s mission and beautiful handiwork, and never underestimate how little it takes to support those suffering homelessness in our city.

HOW CAN WE HELP?

To support Unlocked, you can:

To support Unlocked, you can:
-Read more and shop our website at becomeunlocked.com
-Follow us on FB and IG @becomeunlocked
-Join our newsletter here

To support people experiencing homelessness you can:

• Look people in the eyes, smile, say a few kind words, and show them that you value them as a human
• Volunteer or donate to local nonprofits, focusing on organizations that emphasize dignity and sustainability in their approach
• Support local social enterprises
• Advocate for affordable housing by writing your local representatives, including your State Legislator and Council Member
• Support Housing First models
• Utilize the Work Opportunity Tax Credit to save your company money by hiring vulnerable people, including those transitioning out of homelessness

As believers we hear statements all the time that sound nice on paper but feel so difficult to live out.

Speak the truth in love.
Show a little grace.
Hate the sin, love the sinner.

But how can these ways of living that often feel contradictory play out together in real time? How do we live for and stand up for what Jesus teaches without being a jerk? How do we love with open arms those who are living far outside the bounds of biblical truth without condoning their choices? How do we live with a balance of Jesus’s truth and Jesus’s grace?

As believers one of biggest battles we face with culture is that society doesn’t seem to embrace the “both/and” concept. It no longer sits well in a generous grey area when addressing dissention, disagreement, or ultimately any kind of opposing perspectives. It’s an us vs. them culture. We are politicized and polarized in every way. And one of my greatest grievances is that both secular and Christian culture now seem to expect a partisan vote from believers too. “Are you a grace Christian or a truth Christian?”

We know without question the way of Jesus is to hold both equally, for ourselves and for others.

But in a world where “truth Christians” are judgmental jerks and “grace Christians” tolerate everything in the name of love, how do we hold and live out both? 

That’s exactly the real talk we’re having this week. In a time that seems to not just resist, but disdain, true biblical values and commands, how do we not shrink back and stay silent, and yet not drive people away? Full disclosure, we don’t have any fail-proof answers to these questions. But we do know the power in approaching with grace and encouraging with truth. Speaking truth in grace is so much less about the words than the posture.

Is the log out of your own eye before you address the stick in your sisters? Can you exchange a pointed finger saying, “get out of there” for an arm wrapped around her saying, “I’ve been there.” Can the conversation begin not with “you’re doing this wrong,” but with “I’ve struggled here too.” 

Whether we find ourselves in a tough conversation with a family member or friend, or whether we feel compelled to speak out on social issues that violate the truth of the gospel, our motivation should always be care, not condemnation. Because that’s how Jesus comes to us. We don’t have to be loud; we have to be loving. Because that’s how Jesus speaks to us.

It is hard to actively and vocally follow the truths of scripture in 2020. In most ways on most days, it feels like an uphill battle that we may not win. But the ultimate truth is, we’re all totally broken, and the ultimate grace is that we’re all set free. My deepest hope is that we learn how to live in such a way that shows this beautiful “contradiction” to the world; that makes culture crave the grace to which we all have access and understand the truth of how to receive it in full.