In this final episode of this mini series we recap on the important learning to take away and I have to admit to a little rant about why it is taking so long for us to take ACTION. This issue was first identified in research back in 1995 - over 30 years ago and still people are talking about "better awareness" rather than "improved action". We also need to stop being satisfied by telling folks to "Reach out" if they need help, and every single one of us, regardless of our role or responsibility, purely acting as a decent human being, needs to learn how to Reach In - because none of us knows when someone may need us to be able to do so. I always say that 30 seconds of discomfort in a conversation can help you avoid years of regret and feelings of guilt ... Thank you for joining me on this series to explore domestic abuse related suicide in more depth and if you would like to learn more, there is a free Masterclass on 15th September 2026 that you are welcome to attend - or get in touch via confidentconversations.co.uk

TW - please make sure that you are ready to listen to the tragic story of a young girl who took her own life. This story is not about sensationalisting or shocking, this story, about Hayley, is to make sure we never forget that behind the often quoted statistics, sits a person whose life has been lost. A family dealing with that sadness and grief and a system that has gaps in it. More victims of domestic abuse died by suicide than homicide in the last 3 years here in the UK. Those are the numbers that we know about and that are recorded. There may well be many, many more. These deaths are preventable and in this episode Hayley's Mum, Ruth, bravely tells the story of how she lost her daughter to suicide following a series of events and despite reaching out and asking for help, Hayley was failed. If today is not the right day to listen to this episode, that's fine - and in fact if this episode might cause you upset or concern, perhaps skip it and move on. Take a moment and decide what's right for you.

You have no doubt seen the well-meaning encouragement around Mental Health and Suicidal Risk where we tell people all they have to do is Reach Out. No doubt this Autumn #ReachOut will appear on socials but I am here to tell you why this is completely the wrong emphasis, why this is simply not enough and what we need to be doing instead. If you are already overwhelmed and feeling hopeless, worthless and like a burden to others, reaching out may not be within your capability for all sorts of reasons AND what if you did reach out but still did not get the help you needed, as we sadly see so many times. Our new programme REACH IN is designed deliberately to help us as a society to do better when suicidal risk is present and to not be afraid of starting conversations that can change and even save lives. We will talk more about this, in a Domestic Abuse context specifically, on our free Masterclass on 15th September - hope you can join me?

In this episode we talk about why a community approach to this issue is needed. People may be disclosing fragments of information to many different people, services and agencies - so this is not just a "domestic abuse practitioner" issue - far from it. The Dual Risk Framework covers 3 levels - from the GP Receptionise who might recognise an issue, to the Police Officer who has been called out to an incident, as well as the GP or IDVA or Social Worker who has an ongoing relationship and can help this person to keep themselves safe. If you would like to find out more about us and the Dual Risk Framework, please visit https://confidentconversations.co.uk to find out more and to sign up for the free webinar that is taking place to mark World Suicide Prevention Day in September.

What does suicide risk actually look like? The answer may not be what you expect. In this episode, Andrea Newton challenges many of the assumptions we hold about suicidal distress, exploring why people can appear to be coping while quietly carrying an overwhelming burden. She discusses functional freeze, the subtle signs that can easily be overlooked, and how domestic abuse and coercive control can hide in plain sight. Through a practical suicide prevention lens, this episode will help you recognise what might sit beneath the surface and why noticing small changes, asking one more question and staying curious could make all the difference. This is part of a mini series - Dual Risk - and you can find out more about the Dual Risk Framework and the services we offer by visiting our website https://confidentconversations.co.uk - drop us a note to find out more and please do let us have any feedback once you have listened to this episode.

We know that were coercive controlling behaviour is present, the risk of suicide is higher and in this episode we explore a little more about why that might be. Understanding coercive control through a suicide prevention lens is important, as when we think about domestic abuse, it's easy to focus on individual incidents. But coercive control is different. It's a sustained pattern of intimidation, isolation and control that can slowly erode a person's confidence, identity and hope. In this episode, we explore coercive control through a suicide prevention lens, explaining how experiences such as entrapment, hopelessness, shame and identity loss can contribute to suicidal distress. Rather than asking, "What's wrong with this person?", we invite listeners to ask a more important question: "What has happened to them?" Whether you work in domestic abuse, healthcare, policing, mental health, safeguarding or simply want to better understand the hidden impact of coercive control, this episode will help you recognise why context matters, why people don't always disclose what's happening, and why seeing the whole story can make all the difference. You can find out more about us and the work we do AND the free webinar we are offering, by going to https://confidentconversations.co.uk

In this first episode of this mini series, where we are focussing on the links between suicide risk and domestic abuse, and more importantly how to reduce those risks, we talk about the issue as it stands. We are going to consider how human lives are messy and how as people, we don't fit neatly into boxes, and how a person experience domestic abuse or coercive controlling behaviour may develop poor mental health and even suicidal ideation. How that person is now facing a system where mental health, suicide risk and domestic abuse sit on three different pathways with professionals behind 3 different doors, even in 3 different directorates or ministerial portfolios. Because of the structure and systems of the world in which we live, there are then gaps between those services and a person presenting at their GP with low mood, anxiety, inability to sleep may not disclose the abuse that is causing it - nor indeed the intrusive thoughts that they have started to have. They may chat to a teacher at their child's school about "it being a bit rough at home at the moment" but not disclose the impact it is having on them, physically, mentally, psychologically - and perhaps even find themselves talking to a 24 hour national crisis line about thoughts of ending their life ... but whilst each of those experts is behind a different door and there is no bridge connecting them, people will fall through the gaps. We know this is an issue right now and in fact the latest statistics show that more victims of domestic abuse are dying by suspected suicide than at the hands of their abuser, so the risk is not just the abuse and the abuser - the risk is also to themselves. Dual Risk recognises those gaps and helps professional join the dots so that we can reduce the risk of people dying by suicide as a result of domestic abuse, coercive control, intimate partner violence - this matters and we need to stop "raising awareness" and start taking action. We hope you enjoy this mini series and find it informative, engaging and a worthwhile learning opportunity. Please get in touch via our website https://confidentconversations.co.uk to ask questions, share your thoughts and find out more about the Dual Risk Training Framework that we offer.

I am not about to tell you how to become a domestic goddess, create more To Do lists or sell the benefit of multi-tasking or cooking in advance .. This episode is especially for busy working midlife women who are Googling "Am I burned out or is it just December?" and wondering why their stress is through the roof when they can normally just swing through the season and jingle all the way! How do I protect my sanity? What will help my stress levels? How do I survive the festive season now that my hormones are all over the place? When research tells us that 72% of households rely on women to "make Christmas happen" is it any wonder that we feel overwhelmed - and then throw in the joys of menopause and the challenge of carenting, along with every other thing that comes along - it is a LOT! In this episode we will talk about the challenges of perfection, people pleasing, the weight of carrying guilt and offer you a Framework to help you not just survive but even THRIVE this Christmas. Let's learn more about the 4R's and how Boundaries can prevent Burnout so that we can enjoy Bloody Christmas! Have a good one - see you next year x www.actuallyshecan.co.uk

Stress is costing UK businesses an estimated £28 billion every year, yet too many organisations still treat wellbeing as a tick-box exercise. In this episode of Really Useful Conversations, we give a nod to "International Stress Awareness Week" where the theme for 20235 is "Optimising Employee Wellbeing through Strategic Stress Management" - and we take a look at why strategic stress management is a leadership and performance issue, not a fluffy wellbeing tick-box exercise. We talk about how early, honest conversations can reduce burnout, improve morale, and build psychologically safe teams and why avoiding these "difficult" discussions costs far more than having them. I'm also shining a light on midlife women in the workplace, who often face a "double burden" of hormonal shifts, caregiving, and workplace pressure, contributing an estimated £1.5–2.9 billion to the UK's annual stress-related losses, in keeping with my work through "Actually She Can!" where we actively support women to find more energy, momentum and joy in their Second Act. Whether you are a manager, leader, HR professional or indeed a busy working midlife women, this episode helps us to consider what really useful conversations look like in practice, how to spot early warning signs of stress, and how culture shifts begin with simple, human connection. For more details about my work with corporate clients, please take a look at the website confidentconversations.co.uk and drop me a note if your managers could use some help with their own Really Useful Conversations in the workplace.

The final episode for the mini series, supporting Menopause Awareness Month ... So what happens next? In this no-nonsense episode, we recap the Six Lifestyle Levers that help midlife women support mental health during the menopuase chapter, and as Awareness Month closes, let's hope that the subject is not put back in the drawer until this time next year! Let's hope that the UK Government's new menopause health-check plans receive the support, funding and education that is needed because let's face it, women's health deserves serious investment and not just lip service. With International Stress Awareness Week on the horizon, we will start to take a look at how stress, hormones and midlife mayhem can create that perfect storm and I'll tell you a little about the free live Masterclass on 18 November to help you feel more in control, rested and resilient. Really Useful Conversations matter and I am a woman on a mission to keep those conversations going, in midlife and beyond, so do follow and subscribe and stick with me on this journey? Full details of the FREE November Masterclass are on the www.actuallyshecan.co.uk website - hope you'll take advantage of the offer and do feel free to share with friends who you know will benefit from overcoming that "Wired and Tired All The Time" feeling.