Here at Russian Long-Term, we pride ourselves on scaring you deeply. Whether it's our never-ending labyrinth of hallways, our dead-eyed customer service, or the creeping dread that follows you everywhere you go, it's our mission to make you feel like you're in a real David Lynch movie and can never escape. While you're here, you’ll enjoy a range of middling entertainment options, including: Mike leaving the "key" in "whiskey" in a stranger's car; Josh swordfighting with fluorescent lightbulbs, and Tapan's mom totally crushing everyone else.

Pairings: Aviators and attitude; money, so people like you; some more birds for Josh to kill