Many men struggle to answer a deceptively simple question: What do you want?

In this episode, we explore how so many of us were raised with the “energy of not” — taught who not to be, what not to want, and how to stay small, agreeable, and unoffending.

Focusing on what we don’t want — to happen, to feel, to incite — shapes our relationships, erodes our agency, and leaves our partners feeling frustrated.

This one is an invitation for you to see that not knowing what you want isn’t a failure — it’s the threshold to something deeper.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Join the next Letting Love In free workshop — on Ending Defensiveness: https://www.davelishansky.com

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Transformational Program (Waitlist Open)

Sign up via the “Join Waitlist” button at https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

Monthly Men’s Circles (Launching 2026)

Details shared with RTGM participants first: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

May simply asking the question begin to open up your next chapter.

We all have some kinds of relationship — partners, friends, colleagues — yet few are relationships where we can fully let our guard down without losing connection.

In this episode of Reclaiming the Gentle Man, we explore the kinds of relationships that allow you to resign your composure, express what’s actually happening inside you, and stay present while doing so.

We look at how emotional composure becomes armor, why that armor quietly drains energy and intimacy, and what it takes to intentionally cultivate spaces where honesty, messiness, and depth strengthen connection rather than threaten it.

Mentioned in this episode:

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Program (Waitlist Open)
A foundational, 21-day transformational experience for men who want greater emotional fluency, presence, and integrity in their relationships. This program is the gateway into my ongoing men’s work and private men’s community.
👉 Join the waitlist: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

Letting Love In — Free Workshops
Powerful, experiential workshops for men ready to understand relationship patterns and reconnect with their inner life. You’ll also learn about how to access to the private men’s circle membership.
👉 Join the waitlist for the next workshop: https://davelishansky.com

May you revel in the resignation of a composure that no longer serves you.

Most men don’t choose isolation.
It happens quietly—inside commitment.

As relationships deepen, friendships often fade and community shrinks.
And before we realize it, our partner becomes the only place we go with our wins, our losses, our fear, our collapse.

That’s not romance.
That’s too much weight for one relationship to carry.

In this episode, I share the moment I stumbled my way into a men’s circle... and how it changed everything.

Because I needed a council.
A place where I could speak without being fixed.
Where I could fall apart without burdening my relationship.
Where other men were committed—not to advice—but to presence.

Your partner shouldn’t have to be your entire support system.
And you shouldn’t have to carry everything alone.

If you’ve ever felt lonely inside a committed relationship, this episode is for you.

Mentioned in This Episode

Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Transformational Program for Men
A guided experience for men who want to understand their patterns, navigate conflict with more presence, and stop carrying everything alone.
✨ Usually $247 — available for $147 through 12/31
https://www.davelishansky.com/reclaiming-the-gentle-man-cart

Upcoming Monthly Men’s Group Membership
A structured, compassionate men’s circle designed to provide ongoing support, accountability, and brotherhood beyond your romantic relationship.
📩 Learn more or express interest: [email protected]

May your council hold the weight you're tired of bearing alone.

Many men are drawn to the warrior archetype without realizing we’re actually living out its less mature version — the “hero.”

When the hero runs the show, our relationships quietly turn into a stage where we’re seeking recognition for effort, sacrifice, or being “good.” We’re not trying to manipulate; we’re trying to be seen. But that heroic lens often leaves us feeling unappreciated, resentful, and confused when our partner doesn’t respond the way we hoped.

This conversation is about the evolution from proving yourself to serving something larger than yourself — a shift most of us deeply want but rarely know how to practice in real time, especially in conflict.

If you’ve ever wondered why your “good deeds” don’t seem to land… or why conflict feels unfair when you know you’re trying so hard… this episode will name the pattern and point you toward a different way of showing up.

Mentioned in This Episode

• Reclaiming the Gentle Man — 21-Day Program ON SALE through December 31.If you want 2026 to be the year your conflicts stop spiraling, make your resolution to transform defensiveness and reclaim your presence now — not in January.→ ⁠https://www.davelishansky.com/reclaiming-the-gentle-man-cart⁠

• Lorin Krenn Podcast Episode on Masculine Archetypes
  https://player.captivate.fm/episode/c388ed59-3b44-47c0-af83-f43fc2656e84

• Book: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette
  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/91781.King_Warrior_Magician_Lover

• Connect with Dave on Instagram — @dave_lishansky
  DMs are open if you want to go deeper into this work.

If you’re ready for personalized support — individually or as a couple — reach out on Instagram @dave_lishansky or email [email protected] to learn more about 1:1 and 2:1 coaching

May the warrior within you awaken.

Most men who identify as “nice,” “good,” or deeply supportive don't recognize the pattern running beneath their most intimate relationships.

You try to help.

You hold space.

You soothe.

You try to be steady.

And despite all that effort… your partner still feels alone.

In this episode, we talk about what causes “good guys” to panic inside when our partner is emotional — and how that panic silently turns “holding space” into distance and conflict.

If you’ve ever felt helpless when she’s upset, or frustrated that nothing you do seems to help, this episode will hit home.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Join the free workshop Letting Love In: An Activation to get underneath these exact kinds of patterns: https://www.davelishansky.com

• Sign up for the priority waitlist for the 21-day men’s program: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

May knowing yourself better deepen every corner of your love.

Most people assume self-worth grows out of achievement, confidence, or competence.

In this episode, we question that assumption — because those markers often operate more like protection than proof of inner value.

You can be successful, reliable, even deeply caring — and still be driven by old survival strategies that distort the "why" behind your choices. When those unconscious patterns are leading, life tends to feel heavier, more chaotic, and harder than it needs to be.

So ask yourself:

Are your choices truly aligned with the future you want —

or are they built around keeping other people comfortable?

This is where self-worth becomes less of a feeling and more of a practice — one that has to mature as you mature.

And often, the life you want isn’t blocked by lack of skill, luck, or opportunity…

but by a story about your worth that no longer fits the person you’re becoming.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Letting Love In – December 4, 2025

A live guided activation on expanding your capacity for love and deepening emotional connection.

Register at: https://www.davelishansky.com

Work With Me 1:1

For those ready to shift long-standing patterns, deepen relational presence, and rebuild self-worth from the inside out.

I’m opening a limited number of new 1:1 coaching spots for the first time in nearly a year.

Join the waitlist: https://www.davelishansky.com/waitlist

Most bachelor parties distract men from the weight of what they’re stepping into. Mine did the opposite — it cleared space in me so I could more fully show up for my wedding.

The night before my marriage, I gathered eight men I trust for a circle on an empty beach. I don’t think I could have shown up with the steadiness, clarity, or emotional availability I had during my wedding without that experience.

This episode isn’t a prescription. It’s an example of what’s possible when men gather intentionally — not to escape their lives, but to more fully show up to them.

If you’re approaching a major transition, or you want to understand what genuine support among men can actually look like, this episode offers a grounded window into the kind of space most of us need outside our romantic relationships — a space to pour, to check ourselves, and to walk into big moments without burying the parts that feel unprepared.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Letting Love In: An Activation — Free workshop on December 4, 2025: davelishansky.com

Weekly Sunday Activation — A short, potent prompt delivered to your inbox to inspire your best week yet: davelishansky.com/weekly-email-newsletter

Get in touch with me on Instagram: @dave_lishansky

Learn more about podcasting: https://www.davidbenjaminsound.com/

May you be deeply supported in bringing about the life of your dreams.

When you look in the relational mirror and decide whether you’re ready to choose your partner — or choose yourself — what actually happens?

We’ve become too comfortable with committed relationships that lack devotion. In this episode, you’ll learn how to bring devotion back into your partnership and transform your commitment — and the world around you — for the better.

Mentioned in this episode:
– Upcoming Letting Love In workshop: https://davelishansky.com
– Connect on Instagram: https://instagram.com/dave_lishansky
– Podcast production support: https://davidbenjaminsound.com

May devotion to what matters most serve you in creating the life of your dreams.

While Vanna and I are off for our wedding and mini-moon, I'm rebroadcasting a favorite episode from this past summer.

This is for you if you struggle with burnout from being “the good guy,” feel like you have to prove your worth all the time, or question whether you’re even allowed to take up space.

New episodes coming back next week!

Mentioned in this episode:

– Join the free workshop Letting Love In — a live virtual experience for anyone ready to create deeper, safer connection in their relationships. ⁠⁠Reserve your spot → davelishansky.com⁠⁠

– Connect with Dave on Instagram: ⁠⁠@dave_lishansky

⁠⁠– Interested in starting your own podcast? Learn more about production and storytelling services at ⁠⁠davidbenjaminsound.com

May this episode support your journey toward the kind of presence that transforms your relationships from the inside out.

A letter to myself 10 years ago, when I first committed to the woman I'm about to marry.

Mentioned in this episode:

– Join the free workshop Letting Love In — a live virtual experience for anyone ready to create deeper, safer connection in their relationships. ⁠Reserve your spot → davelishansky.com⁠– Connect with Dave on Instagram: ⁠@dave_lishansky⁠– Interested in starting your own podcast? Learn more about production and storytelling services at ⁠davidbenjaminsound.com

May this moment in time be sacred for you too.