If you were a teenager in the late 90s and early 00s and existed anywhere near Y2K Christianity, you likely encountered True Love Waits - a virginity pledge movement that prompted hordes of kids to sign commitment cards and wear rings signifying their intent to wait until marriage to have sex. But it didn’t work. And I have some stuff to say about it.

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

Reclaiming the podcast: From Purity to Pole Dancer

Books and Resources

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein

Eryn Johnson, founder of Living Open, breathworker, and healer who specializes in religious trauma

Happy Whole Way - purity culture/religious trauma coaches and community

EPISODE SOURCES

• https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/03/purity-culture-evangelical-church-harms-women/618438/
• https://www.scarymommy.com/wore-true-love-waits-ring-shame 
• https://spectrummagazine.org/views/2022/we-must-choose-manhood-masculinity-sex-and-authority-evangelical-purity-manuals 
• https://wng.org/opinions/why-we-need-a-joshua-harris-rule-1675943342 
• https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/18/purity-ring-virginity-abstinence-sexual-education 
• https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/news/christian-musicians-team-up-to-promote-true-love-waits/ 
• https://cedarvilleinterpreter.com/2022/11/29/why-purity-culture-is-so-toxic-a-female-perspective/ 
• https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/josh-harris-opened-up-about-leaving-christianity/ 
• https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/08/23/545289168/abstinence-education-is-ineffective-and-unethical-report-argues 
• https://albertmohler.com/2019/08/01/joshua-harris

Ozempic, a breakout drug to treat obesity and type 2 diabetes, first came to the market in 2017. But it blew up practically overnight after rumors that Kim Kardashian used it to shed an enormous amount of weight in a couple of weeks to fit into Marilyn Monroe’s dress for the 2022 Met Gala. Since then, it’s been everywhere in LA. This week, I talk about Los Angeles and social media and the beauty culture here, and how it all serves to perpetuate the modern myth that practically requires women and femmes to alter their bodies and faces. I am in no way shaming women who use Ozempic, Botox, or Instagram/TikTok filters - we all do this to an extent. It’s survival. Instead, I think we need to have a deeper conversation about why we make the decisions we do when we participate in these beauty trends - and we need to expose the fact that we don’t really have a choice if we want to be taken seriously as women and femmes.

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

SOURCES

• https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/beauty/a39391760/tweakments-self-esteem/ 
• https://www.cbc.ca/radio/ideas/generation-botox-how-beauty-ideals-have-turned-into-moral-ideals-1.5822110 
• https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/08/botox-nation-america-addiction-crack-like-cosmetic-procedures 
• https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/15/arts/botox.html 
• https://www.vogue.com/article/preventative-botox-injections-twenty-somethings-expert-guide-wrinkles-fine-lines-eyes-lips-forehead 
• https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/03/27/will-the-ozempic-era-change-how-we-think-about-being-fat-and-being-thin 
• https://www.thecut.com/article/weight-loss-ozempic.html 
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/annahaines/2021/04/27/from-instagram-face-to-snapchat-dysmorphia-how-beauty-filters-are-changing-the-way-we-see-ourselves/?sh=7c1035764eff 
• https://www.teenvogue.com/story/social-media-filters-how-young-people-see-themselves 
• https://www.wired.com/story/tiktok-teenage-look-ageism/ 
• https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tiktok-bold-glamour-filter-ai-mental-health/

We have a lot to learn from the fictional witches and feminists of the 90s about sisterhood, going after what you want, wearing whatever you want, having each others’ backs, and getting revenge on abusive exes. Grab a midnight margarita or brew your favorite NA elixir, babe, and settle in for a trip through the astral to the era of teen Wicca, black chokers, Delta Nu, and Pismo Beach Disaster Relief.

Sign up for Reclaiming the newsletter at reclaimeffingeverything.com 

My feminist communications consulting agency is up and running! If you’re a femme-identifying business owner or professional filling a void in a patriarchal society (or pivoting to a career that more closely aligns with your ethics), let’s tell your story together. Visit sarahspurlock.com and let’s set up a call to smash the patriarchy from within!

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG @rmmngtn]

Tradwives, or “traditional wives,” are gaining a ton of momentum online, and it’s easy to see why - they show a curated, dreamy post-capitalistic life where they give up the soul-sucking grind of the corporate world and retreat indoors to happily cook/clean/bake for their husbands and families. It may seem harmless to some, but many tradwives espouse deeply hateful and white nationalistic themes, romanticizing the 1950s and the nuclear family - an environment that was violent for many marginalized communities, such as LGBTQ folks and people of color. Tradwives make it hard to challenge them by using their “good mother/wife/woman” identities as a shield protecting their retrograde and white nationalist beliefs while also making it really easy for women fed up with the failing systems around us to be seduced into their dangerous ideology.

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

SOURCES

https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/the-agoraphobic-fantasy-of-tradlife

https://thebaffler.com/salvos/the-rights-fight-for-women-janakiram

https://jezebel.com/youre-not-a-racist-and-neither-am-i-the-former-feminis-1844453301 

https://www.thecut.com/2020/07/sisters-in-hate-how-white-nationalists-weaponize-motherhood.html 

https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/charlottesville-attack-women-white-supremacy.html

I grew up in Y2K-era purity culture, an evangelical Christian movement that placed heaps of rules on young girls to stay pure for their future husbands, enforced the gender binary, praised heteronormative marriage, and embedded traumatizing lessons about not trusting your body. For three decades, I battled my confusion, terror, and frustration inside, most of the time subconsciously. But the first time I strapped on my 8-inch Pleaser heels and stepped up to the pole, I began to unravel those harmful lessons one by one. And I’m not alone.

To sign up for the newsletter or learn more about Reclaim Effing Everything, visit reclaimeffingeverything.com

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn]

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

Before Roe v. Wade was overturned last summer, period tracking app use was at an all-time high. And it's not hard to see why: knowing your body is empowering. But since the Dobbs decision overturned federal protections for abortion services in 2022, these apps have come under scrutiny regarding their data collection and privacy policies.

The kinds of info you store in these apps are among the most intimate you can share - when you are menstruating and when you're having sex, to name a few. And last week, Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin blocked a law that would have made it illegal for law enforcement to use any of this menstruation and fertility data in an investigation against you. With so many reproductive rights under attack these days, this is a good time to revisit our use of these apps and find new ways to track our periods.

Sources

Electronic Frontier Foundation 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/02/16/virginia-youngkin-menstrual-cycle-data-apps/

https://techcrunch.com/2023/02/13/samsung-adds-temperature-based-period-tracking-to-its-galaxy-watch5/

https://www.glam.com/1195524/tech-free-ways-to-track-your-period-and-be-more-in-tune-with-your-body/ 

https://www.npr.org/2022/05/10/1097482967/roe-v-wade-supreme-court-abortion-period-apps 

https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/18/politics/washington-state-period-tracking-apps/index.htm

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/30/technology/period-tracker-privacy-abortion.html l 

https://www.cnn.com/2022/07/08/politics/white-house-period-tracker-apps/index.html 

https://www.colorado.edu/today/2022/09/08/should-you-delete-your-period-tracking-apps-look-data-privacy-post-roe 

https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/16/opinions/period-trackers-app-roe-abortion-ranney-yao/index.html 

https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7vzjb/location-data-abortion-clinics-safegraph-planned-parenthood

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn]

You've probably heard about the Pink Tax, the name of the markup that manufacturers and retailers put on everyday products that are specifically marketed and packaged for women, even though these products don't *need* to be gendered. In a system where women and femmes make 82 cents to every dollar a cis-man makes, and WOC even less, the Pink Tax is yet another way we are systematically disadvantaged. Although it seems like the tide is turning against this practice, there's still a long way to go.

SOURCES

https://www.nyc.gov/assets/dca/downloads/pdf/partners/Study-of-Gender-Pricing-in-NYC.pdf

https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/pink-tax

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lawrencelight/2022/02/12/theres-a-pink-tax-on-women/?sh=79bb62367318

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/27/1145579365/gender-based-pricing-known-as-the-pink-tax-will-be-banned-in-california-on-jan-1

https://www.cbs8.com/article/news/politics/new-california-2023-retail-law-eliminates-pink-tax/509-07082bc2-121d-40c3-af2b-fd709bbb7c11

The Cut article about upcharges for Black women's hair services

https://www.winston.com/en/class-action-insider/will-new-pink-tax-legislation-green-light-class-actions-alleging-gender-based-pricing-discrimination.html

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

Humans have looked to the stars for guidance and making meaning out of their experiences for literally thousands of years. So why is there so much animosity toward it by the patriarchy right now? Why do we get taken less seriously if we’re practitioners? There’s nothing wrong with following or liking or practicing astrology, my loves. And the good news is the stigma is receding - and astrology is a great case study of something we have made great progress at reclaiming. So now’s the time to dig our heels in and bring it further into the mainstream and out of the shame and misunderstanding surrounding it. Let’s take back the zodiac, my babes!

SOURCES

https://www.vice.com/en/article/qvq87p/why-straight-men-hate-astrology-so-much

https://time.com/5315377/are-zodiac-signs-real-astrology-history/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/01/the-new-age-of-astrology/550034/

https://www.theskimm.com/news/big-3-astrology

https://www.vice.com/en/article/qvg7wv/astrology-trend-2010s-co-star-the-pattern

https://qz.com/1170481/horoscopes-2018-astrology-isnt-fake-its-just-been-ruined-by-modern-psychology

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn] 

You aren’t high or low maintenance, babe - you are self-maintaining. Sometimes you might need to ask others for help in maintaining your very complex needs (because, after all, you are a human and humans have a lot of f*cking needs.) When someone calls you high maintenance, though, it doesn’t always register as an insult, but it should be - because it’s basically code for taking up too much space. Don’t exhaust people, don’t cause harm, but get what you need to be happy and healthy. Take the space you need. Don't shrink yourself to avoid being called a princess or a diva. You're fabulous, honey, and fabulousness takes maintaining.

SOURCES

When Harry Met Sally And the High Maintenance Woman 

What % High or Low Maintenance Are You quiz

Intro song by Remmington Taylor [IG: @rmmngtn]

Next time you're in a dressing room squeezing into a pair of pants that *should* fit, remember this: women's clothing sizes are basically just an anarchic hellscape. They have absolutely no meaning whatsoever. And there's no easy way to fix this problem. But there also is no interest in fixing it, because when we're concerned with the number going up, we're not thinking about the true issue: that systems and industries, powered by our self-judgment, are conditioning us to hate our bodies.

Join me this week to talk about how our chaotic sizing system came to be and how it's taking our focus away from what really matters - embracing our bodies instead of shaming them. Especially when they change, as bodies, you know, tend to do.

SOURCES

How To Fix Vanity Sizing

The Absurdity of Women's Clothing Sizes In One Chart

Why Our Sizing System Makes No Sense

Butts: A Backstory, by Heather Radke

Why Are Clothing Sizes So Confusing?

What Kim Kardashian's Met Look Tells Us About Vanity Sizing