Wanting sounds simple until you realize how many of us were trained out of it. If you’ve gotten good at meeting other people’s needs, staying “easy,” and saying “I don’t mind,” this conversation is a gentle challenge and a practical reset. I talk about how reclaiming identity starts with needs and boundaries, but it doesn’t end there. Desire is where your real self lives, and it’s also the part that often gets buried under people pleasing, fear of conflict, and lifelong conditioning.

We dig into why wanting can feel dangerous, especially if you grew up monitoring someone else’s happiness to keep yourself safe, or if you learned early that your preferences were “too much” or “wrong.” I share my own experience of growing up queer and losing trust in my desires, plus how shame and social pressure can push us into numbness. Then we get concrete: the difference between what you want and what you think you should want shows up in feelings and body signals, because your nervous system registers a clear yes or no even when your brain tries to negotiate.

You’ll hear simple ways to start small without blowing up your life: using free time as a low-stakes lab, bringing back play, following inner child clues, and translating childhood “dream jobs” into the energy you want more of now. We also talk about conflict, how to let other people have their feelings, and how to make choices that are more aligned with your desires over time.

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s always “fine,” and leave a rating and review so more people can find the show. What do you want today?

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