Goal setting can work effectively when you focus on the right things. I share insights from my recent dance boot camp where students were reluctant to set goals due to past failures.

• Three types of goals: outcome goals (end results), performance goals (standards within your control), and process goals (daily behaviors)
• Outcome goals like gaining confidence can be achieved by focusing on performance and process goals
• Connect with your "why" to stay motivated throughout your goal journey
• Build performance goals like improving technique, increasing risk tolerance, and enhancing storytelling
• Create actionable process steps for each performance goal
• Be realistic about your capacity when scheduling actions
• Building trust in yourself comes from making and keeping promises to yourself
• Check emotions that block progress (fear, doubt, confusion, overwhelm)
• Remember that becoming the person who pursues goals is as important as achieving them
• Goals can shift and evolve as you grow through the process

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After months of struggling with depression and grief, KC Davis' book "How to Keep House While Drowning" became my lifeline by offering compassionate, practical advice for managing daily tasks when overwhelmed.

Some takeaways:
• Care tasks like cleaning and laundry are morally neutral – not good or bad
• Shame-based motivation leads to shame-based rest, creating a harmful cycle
• "Laziness" doesn't exist – executive function challenges explain task difficulties
• Being kind to your future self by preparing things ahead of time
• Functional systems matter more than aesthetically pleasing ones
• You can't save the world when you're struggling to save yourself


If you're struggling or know someone who is, I highly recommend picking up "How to Keep House While Drowning" – it offers practical approaches to care tasks that are functional, kind, and accessible.

More from KC: Instagram 

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Let’s dig into why New Year's resolutions often crash and burn, shall we? Spoiler alert: it’s that toxic cocktail of all-or-nothing thinking and perfectionism that trips us up every time. In this episode, we’ll call out those self-sabotaging habits and serve up a fresh perspective: compassionate goal-setting. Because guess what? Beating yourself up won’t get you anywhere. Instead, we’ll focus on finding that deep, juicy, intrinsic motivation to create changes that actually stick.

What we explore:
• Understanding National Quitters Day and its implications for resolutions
• Exploring the "fresh start effect" and its motivational power
• The dangers of all-or-nothing thinking when setting goals
• Shifting from rigid goal-setting to practical, achievable steps
• Embracing failure as an opportunity for growth and learning
• Challenges of habit formation for neurodivergent individuals
• Finding motivation beyond novelty through intrinsic values
• Strategies for maintaining engagement and consistency over time

Episode 87:Are your resolutions just self-criticism disguised as self-improvement?  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/you-need-a-coach-b-tch/id1623805363?i=1000641297688

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This episode is all about pulling back the curtain on a transformative year—messy, unpredictable, but deeply necessary. Here's the tea: the path to fulfillment isn't about hustling for achievements or chasing perfect relationships. It's about you—your desires, your boundaries, and your willingness to prioritize your own damn happiness.

What you'll hear:

• 🔑 Understanding what you really want: After years of putting others first, finding clarity about my own desires was a game-changer.
• 🛑 Setting boundaries that stick: From honest convos with my husband about holiday plans to saying "no" to family expectations, small steps = big shifts.
• 🎾 Embracing new hobbies just for fun: Tennis, anyone? Stepping into joy without tying it to work feels revolutionary.
• 🧠 Navigating neurodivergence: How tools like breathwork help me stay present and manage life's curveballs.
• 💔 Processing loss: Reflecting on losing a loved one and a friendship while learning to honor my needs and emotions.
• 🌈 Reigniting my coaching biz: Reclaiming authenticity, championing inclusivity, and building with curiosity at the center.

This isn’t just my story—it’s an invitation to think about how you can unapologetically claim your own well-being. Because let’s be real if you’re not showing up for yourself, who will?

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Why is it so hard to forgive? In this episode, we unravel forgiveness's complex, deeply personal nature. We shed light on the concept of releasing the futile hope that the past could be different, a crucial step for moving forward. We explore the delicate dance between wishing for a different past and accepting it, emphasizing that true healing can occur even in the absence of forgiveness. Delving into the necessity and challenges of forgiveness for personal peace, we acknowledge that thriving without forgiveness is entirely possible. We also spotlight the importance of sincere apologies and accountability, stressing that these elements are vital for mending relationships and fostering genuine healing.

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Harnessing the power of the future and the past, we delve into the process of building new beliefs for lasting change. Imagine the satisfaction of reaching a six-month goal and aligning your present actions with future success. We discuss how to cultivate new, positive thoughts about yourself by leveraging past accomplishments as evidence. Practical steps include writing down new beliefs, challenging counterproductive thoughts, and recognizing moments when you've already demonstrated the qualities you strive for. Commitment and consistent practice are key to achieving the transformation you seek. Tune in to gain insights and actionable strategies for personal growth and lasting change.

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In this episode, let's explore the crucial distinction between self-compassion and self-pity, inspired by Dr. Kristen Neff's transformative work, "Self-Compassion." I dive into how to treat ourselves with the same kindness we'd extend to a dear friend or a child, especially when life throws its inevitable struggles our way. Learn practical strategies to cultivate self-compassion and understand why it's essential for our well-being. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to embrace kindness towards ourselves, even when the going gets tough.

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In this episode, I navigate the crucial topic of setting achievable goals, particularly through the lens of my recent ADHD diagnosis. Reflecting on past ambitions rooted in ableism, I unravel how those unrealistic goals led to burnout and share my journey toward more sustainable and compassionate goal-setting practices.  By challenging the idea that we need to set  "impossible goals," I discuss the significance of focusing on the process over the end result and how critical it is to tailor our timelines to our current life circumstances. 

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This episode is a sanctuary for those grappling with tough decisions, offering an embrace of self-compassion as we discuss 'picking your pain'—a mantra for intentionally choosing our challenges and the life we yearn for. Join me as I unpack the complexities of juggling personal crises with staying connected to those we hold dear. We confront the inner critic that often amplifies our doubts, sharing insights on how to nurture our emotional well-being amidst the trials we face. There's a candid exploration of how skills honed in one aspect of our lives, like managing finances, can ripple into unexpected areas, fostering resilience and adaptability. Listening to this episode, you're invited to step away from the pursuit of perfection, instead prioritizing self-care and embracing growth at your own sustainable pace.

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This week's topic is all about having the courage to show up in our fullness. Leaning into you means not being afraid to feel anything that might come up as a result of being more true to who we are more often and in more spaces. Join me as I talk through the inspiraton for this episode right from my very own life.  I also provide a framework for you to get closer to yourself so that you can truly be the best support system for yourself as you lift the veil on who you are deep inside. 

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