Recovery FOR the Narcissist | Narcissism | Awareness | Accountability | Growth

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry discusses the phenomenon of keeping score in relationships and how it can be amplified by narcissistic tendencies. While scorekeeping is common in many relationships, it can become particularly unhealthy when combined with narcissistic behaviors. Narcissistic individuals may project their internal criticisms onto others, making it essential to understand and address this behavior for healthier relationships.

Dr. Perry emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the need to challenge narcissistic tendencies before they negatively impact relationships. He encourages listeners to work on themselves continuously, much like maintaining physical fitness, to avoid self-induced life stressors. This episode provides practical suggestions on acknowledging others' perspectives and improving communication to reduce conflict.

Key Points Covered:

• Understanding how scorekeeping can be detrimental, especially for those with narcissistic tendencies.
• How narcissistic individuals project their internal criticisms onto others, often without realizing it.
• Continually working on oneself to maintain progress and avoid negative behaviors.
• Acknowledging others' viewpoints and improving communication to reduce conflict.
• Identifying whether the goal is to defend, criticize, express, or comprehend to improve interactions.

By being mindful of these behaviors and making conscious efforts to change, individuals with narcissistic tendencies can improve their relationships and lead more fulfilling lives. Dr. Perry stresses the importance of acknowledging others' perspectives and being aware of one's own behaviors and goals during interactions.

If you find yourself becoming angry or upset during a conversation, pause and ask yourself what your goal is. Shifting your focus from defending or attacking to expressing or understanding can make a significant difference. Remember, overcoming narcissistic behaviors is a continuous process that requires attention to detail and a willingness to grow.

Tune in to learn more about managing scorekeeping in relationships and improving your communication skills.

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry shares the inspiration behind starting this podcast and his thoughts on narcissism. Initially working with victims of narcissistic abuse, Dr. Perry encountered individuals who wanted to work on their narcissistic tendencies. This led him to challenge the mainstream view that narcissistic individuals cannot change, recognizing that narcissism exists on a spectrum.

Dr. Perry emphasizes that success for narcissistic individuals involves making behavioral changes rather than focusing solely on increasing empathy or compassion. By providing tools for behavioral changes, individuals can realize that their previous negative patterns are unnecessary for happiness, leading to positive impacts on their lives and those around them.

Key Points Covered:

• Understanding the varying degrees of narcissism, from malignant to less severe forms.
• Focusing on tools and strategies to modify behavior for positive outcomes.
• Recognizing that narcissism is often a learned behavior stemming from conditional experiences in childhood.
• Behavioral changes can lead to improved internal states and reduced negative impacts on others.
• Dr. Perry’s belief in the potential for individuals to work through narcissistic behaviors and tendencies.

If you struggle with narcissistic tendencies, it’s crucial to understand the faulty rules learned in childhood and work towards changing them. Dr. Perry believes in your potential to make these changes and improve your relationships and overall well-being.

If you are listening and feel that you have narcissistic tendencies, know that change is possible. By focusing on positive behavioral adjustments, you can begin to see improvements in your interactions and personal happiness. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is continuous and requires patience and dedication.

Tune in to learn more about the journey of working through narcissistic behaviors and achieving positive change. Thank you for listening!

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry explores how individuals with narcissistic tendencies can manage anxiety more effectively. Understanding the nature of anxiety and its manifestations in both the body and mind is crucial for developing strategies to cope with it.

Anxiety often presents itself as a physiological sensation or an intrusive thought. Recognizing these feelings and thoughts as non-harmful can help in managing anxiety. It's important to lean into these sensations with mindful breathing and self-awareness, acknowledging them without letting them escalate into panic.

Key Points Covered:

• Recognizing anxiety as a non-harmful physiological response.
• Techniques to manage anxiety through deep breathing.
• Understanding how anxiety stems from unresolved thoughts.
• The importance of writing down thoughts to bring awareness and clarity.
• Being mindful of responses to others and practicing self-kindness during anxious moments.

Dr. Perry emphasizes that those with narcissistic tendencies may find it particularly challenging to deal with anxiety due to their heightened need for control and lack of empathy. Being mindful of how anxiety impacts behavior towards others is crucial. Engaging in activities that distract from anxious thoughts and practicing kindness towards oneself and others can help in managing anxiety more effectively.

The key is to bring awareness to your thoughts and feelings, and to practice strategies that help you regain control over your anxiety. Keep working on these techniques and be patient with yourself.

Tune in to learn more about managing anxiety as a narcissist and other strategies for improving your mental well-being. Thank you for listening!

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry discusses the concept of projective identification and how individuals with narcissistic tendencies unknowingly apply this tactic to those around them.

Projective identification was first introduced by Melanie Klein, an Austrian-British author and psychoanalyst, in the early 20th century. This defense mechanism involves projecting qualities that are unacceptable to the self onto another person, who then internalizes these projected qualities and believes them to be true. Essentially, it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy for someone else.

Key Points Covered:

• Developed by Melanie Klein as a defense mechanism and a source of controversy in psychoanalytic theory.
• Projection of unacceptable qualities onto others, leading them to internalize these qualities.
• Example: Making remarks that imply someone is incapable or a failure, causing them to believe these projections.
• Significant influence on others’ self-perception and performance, illustrated by the Rosenthal effect.

Dr. Perry emphasizes the importance of awareness for individuals with narcissistic tendencies to understand the impact of their projections on others. By believing in and encouraging others, rather than projecting negative qualities, you can positively influence their behavior and self-esteem.

The Rosenthal effect shows that when people believe in others, those individuals often rise to the occasion. Your efforts to make positive changes in your behavior are commendable and can lead to more fulfilling relationships and a better understanding of yourself.

Tune in to learn more about how projective identification impacts relationships and how you can work towards healthier interactions with those around you. Thank you for listening!

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry explores the complex and often misunderstood phenomenon of narcissistic rage. Dr. Perry explains the causes, manifestations, and impacts of narcissistic rage, emphasizing the importance of awareness and intentional change.

Narcissistic rage is defined as an unexpected and uncontrollable expression of anger triggered by a narcissistic injury. These injuries often occur as a result of threats to the self-worth or self-esteem of a narcissistic individual. The behavior can range from sudden outbursts to passive-aggressive acts such as neglect or sarcasm, and is typically unreasonable and disproportionate to the triggering event.

Key Points Covered:

• Criticism, not getting your way, lack of attention, loss of control, being called out, accountability, and challenged credibility.
• Recognizing and acknowledging narcissistic rage episodes, even after they occur.
• Victims of narcissistic rage may develop mistrust, fear, self-doubt, and feelings of worthlessness.
• Sharing your intentions with a trusted person and allowing them to check in on your progress.
• Stepping away, creating space, and engaging in calming activities to cool down.

Dr. Perry emphasizes that progress begins with awareness. It's essential to acknowledge these rage episodes and take intentional steps to manage them. Letting someone you trust know about your efforts can provide accountability and support. Remember, change takes time and persistence, so don't be discouraged by setbacks.

The journey to self-improvement requires dedication and patience. By understanding and managing narcissistic rage, you can build stronger, more positive relationships and lead a more fulfilling life. Keep striving for progress, and never give up on your growth.

Tune in to learn more about managing narcissistic rage and cultivating personal growth. Thank you for listening!

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode of Recovery for the Narcissist, Dr. Eric Perry addresses the challenging situation of what to do when someone decides to go no contact with you. This podcast is specifically designed for individuals who struggle with narcissistic tendencies, offering guidance and support for self-improvement and healthier relationships. Dr. Perry emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries and using this period as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

Respecting the boundary set by someone who has chosen to go no contact is crucial. Creating chaos, pushing ultimatums, or involving others to break the no contact rule is counterproductive. Instead, see this time as a chance to examine the feedback you've received, even if it feels uncomfortable. Consider the possibility that there may be truth in the accusations and use it as a means to identify areas for improvement.

Key Points Covered:

• Understanding the importance of respecting the no contact decision.
• Using the period of no contact for self-examination and acknowledging possible truths in the feedback received.
• Letting the person know you respect their need for space and are open to future communication.
• Analyzing your own behaviors such as defensiveness, control, and insensitivity.
• Recognizing that true change can only happen if you are willing to give the person time and space.

Dr. Perry emphasizes that growth cannot occur within the comfort zone. It is essential to challenge your behaviors and respect the other person's need for healing and space. This period of no contact should be seen as an opportunity to understand and address your narcissistic tendencies, which can lead to personal growth and improved relationships in the future.

By giving the person time and space, and by working on your own behaviors, you create the possibility of rebuilding the relationship on healthier terms. Remember, the journey to self-improvement is ongoing and requires dedication and willingness to change.

Tune in to learn more about navigating no contact situations and fostering personal growth. Thank you for listening!

Connect with Dr. Perry: ⁠⁠https://drericperry.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Own Your Stuff Online Coaching Group: ⁠https://drericperry.com/ownyourstuff⁠

Empathy Awakening Workshop: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drericperry.com/empathyawakening⁠⁠⁠⁠

Disclaimer: The content contained in this podcast is for general information only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, assessment, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own healthcare provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and the host. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

In this episode, Dr. Perry shares strategies to use if someone goes no contact with you and you are someone who struggles with narcissistic tendencies.

In this episode, Dr. Perry shares how and why he began working with the narcissistic population.

Episode 7: What You Feel When You Gaslight Someone

Hello and welcome to my podcast! My name is Dr. Eric Perry. The intention of this podcast is to provide insight and encouragement to those of you who exhibit narcissistic tendencies so you can "own your stuff" and live more empathic, compassionate, and fulfilling lives. My other areas of expertise are performance, career development, relationship issues, stress management, health, and overall happiness. To submit a topic request, learn more about my methodology, or schedule a free initial consultation, please visit my website https://DrEricPerry.com or email [email protected].

Disclaimer: The materials and content contained in this podcast are for general information only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own health care provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and Dr. Eric Perry. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.

Episode 7: Why You Create Chaos in Your Relationships

Hello and welcome to my podcast! My name is Dr. Eric Perry. The intention of this podcast is to provide insight and encouragement to those of you who exhibit narcissistic tendencies so you can "own your stuff" and live more empathic, compassionate, and fulfilling lives. My other areas of expertise are performance, career development, relationship issues, stress management, health, and overall happiness. To submit a topic request, learn more about my methodology, or schedule a free initial consultation, please visit my website https://DrEricPerry.com or email [email protected].

Disclaimer: The materials and content contained in this podcast are for general information only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Listeners should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own health care provider. Listening to this podcast in no way creates a professional/working relationship between the listener and Dr. Eric Perry. If at any time you have an emergency while listening, please contact your local emergency center immediately.