Redefining Wisdom

Amanda McCracken is an award-winning journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, Elle, NPR, Outside, ESPN, SELF, Runner’s World, and many others. She published her first article about longing in 2013, which led to additional articles featuring personal anecdotes and deep research and interviews with the BBC and Katie Couric. She is now considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self-sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing.

Why do unavailable people sometimes feel more intoxicating than available ones?

In this episode, I sit down with Amanda J. McCracken, author of When Longing Becomes Your Lover, to explore the psychology of longing, attraction, attachment wounds, unavailable love, and why some people confuse anxiety with chemistry.

Amanda shares her personal journey of being drawn to emotionally unavailable people, how therapy and somatic work helped her break the pattern, and why safe, transparent love can feel “boring” when your nervous system is used to uncertainty, distance, and emotional highs and lows.

We talk about why longing can become addictive, how unresolved relationships become anchor memories, why people blame themselves when love doesn’t work out, and how modern dating culture rewards emotional detachment while so many people secretly crave deep connection.

This conversation is for anyone who has ever found themselves obsessed with someone they couldn’t have, stuck in a fantasy, longing for an almost-relationship, or wondering why secure love doesn’t feel as exciting as unavailable love.

Amanda’s closing reminder is one of the most powerful takeaways from this episode:

“Nurture the longing that nurtures you.”

In this episode, we explore:

• Why unavailable people feel so intoxicating
• How longing can become an emotional addiction
• The difference between chemistry, anxiety, and love
• Why safe love can feel boring at first
• How attachment wounds shape attraction
• Why modern dating rewards detachment
• How to grieve someone you never fully had
• Why unresolved connections stay in your mind for years
• How somatic therapy helps rewire relationship patterns
• How to stay open to love after heartbreak
• Plus much more

Follow Amanda:

• Website: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandajmccracken/
• TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JqGeP240Tc
• Book: https://www.amandajmccracken.com/book

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Ken Lloyd is an internationally recognized Energy Architect, Transformational Healer, and Spiritual
Activator whose work bridges science, spirit, and multidimensional energy. A “soul-infused walk-in,” he embodies higher frequencies that facilitate profound transformation. His sessions inspire emotional freedom, physical renewal, and spiritual awakening, guiding others toward harmony, clarity, and higher consciousness.

What if the blocks holding you back aren’t just thoughts… but energetic “static” keeping you disconnected from your higher self?

In this episode, I  sit down with Ken, a former cybersecurity founder whose life changed after a spontaneous spiritual awakening during one of the most stressful seasons of his life.

After years in the logical world of tech, startups, and cybersecurity, Ken experienced something he couldn’t explain: a powerful, energetic release that shifted him from anger and exhaustion into peace almost overnight. That moment sent him on a journey into consciousness, energy healing, intuition, meditation, spiritual awakening, and what it really means to heal.

This conversation explores the intersection of science, spirituality, identity, fear, and the human experience.

We talk about:

• Why stress can sometimes trigger an awakening
• How limiting beliefs create “static” in your field
• The difference between intuition and the mind creating a story
• Why fear may be a doorway, not a stop sign
• How meditation helps quiet the noise and open you to guidance
• Why some people feel disconnected from who they truly are
• How identity, trauma, and old programming shape our reality
• What it means to remove energetic blocks and return to wholeness
• Plus much more

This episode goes deep into consciousness, higher self, spiritual growth, healing, and the invisible patterns that keep people stuck between who they are and who they feel called to become.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re meant for more, but fear, doubt, or old programming keeps getting in the way, this conversation will give you a new way to see yourself.

Connect with  Ken Lloyd:

• Website: https://kenlloydofficial.com/

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Episode 100 of Redefining Wisdom is here.

And honestly, I almost didn’t record it.

Not because I had nothing to say, but because I wasn’t sure how to reflect on a milestone that still feels surreal. 100 episodes. 90 conversations with guests from around the world. 10 solo reflections. And a journey that started with curiosity but ended up completely changing how I see myself, connect with others, and move through life.

In this solo episode, I reflect on what this podcast has taught me about growth, burnout, intuition, loneliness, self-trust, and the emotional cost of building something meaningful before the external results fully arrive.

I talk about growing up with a heavy stutter, social anxiety, and feeling like an outsider, and how launching this podcast became one of the first aligned steps that helped me discover parts of myself I didn’t know existed.

This episode is for anyone who is building something, questioning their path, feeling emotionally exhausted, or wondering if they’re falling behind.

Sometimes growth doesn’t feel like confidence.

Sometimes it feels like confusion, doubt, grief, loneliness, burnout, and uncertainty.

But that doesn’t always mean you’re regressing.

Sometimes it means you’re expanding.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why we downplay our own achievements
• What 100 podcast episodes taught me about self-trust
• The loneliness of building a meaningful life
• Why growth often feels like emotional chaos
• How burnout changed my understanding of consistency
• Why following your intuition can change the direction of your life
• The difference between external success and internal transformation
• Why celebrating small wins matters more than we think

Thank you to everyone who has listened to even one episode of Redefining Wisdom. This journey has changed my life, and I’m grateful you’re part of it.

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Eyal Frayden is an accomplished sales leader and academic whose career is defined by the intersection of business strategy and human psychology. His expertise in the psychology of decision-making was the centerpiece of his widely acclaimed TEDx talk, "The Secret to Persuading People." Highlighting its global significance, his presentation was hand-selected by the global TED organization to be promoted across their primary international platforms.

Why do facts alone fail to change people’s minds?

In this episode, I sit down with Eyal to unpack the psychology of persuasion, influence, decision-making, and why emotions often matter more than logic when it comes to communication. We explore why people resist being convinced, how identity and values shape our reactions, and what actually helps a message land without triggering defensiveness.

This conversation dives into emotional persuasion, resistance in arguments, how people justify emotional decisions with logic, and why understanding human behavior is more powerful than simply presenting facts. They also explore communication in relationships, leadership, conflict, marketing, politics, and everyday life.

In this episode, expect to learn:

• Why logic alone usually fails to persuade
• How emotions shape most decisions
• Why people protect identity over truth
• How to communicate without triggering resistance
• The difference between influence and manipulation
• What great persuaders understand about human behavior
• Why framing changes everything in relationships and leadership
• Plus much more

Follow Eyal:

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eyalfrayden/

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Steph McFarland is an English teacher with over 13 years of experience in the education field. She has a B.S. in English Education and an M.A. in Art Education, with a thesis that focuses on boys and men and how art can support them in their mental and emotional well-being. She has dedicated her research to interviewing men and boys and learned ways to cultivate safety for male vulnerability within relationships.

Most men don’t struggle with emotions because they don’t have them. They struggle because they were never taught how to feel them.

In this episode, we break down one of the most misunderstood truths about emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and why so many men feel disconnected from their inner world.

From childhood conditioning to societal expectations, we explore why sadness often turns into anger, why vulnerability feels unsafe, and how emotional suppression quietly shapes relationships, identity, and decision-making.

We also dive into:

• The difference between vulnerability and trauma dumping
• Why men are more emotionally expressive as babies, but lose it over time
• How emotional intelligence actually works (beyond the buzzword)
• The hidden role of the body in processing emotions
• Why “thinking your way out” doesn’t work
• How to start reconnecting with yourself, without overwhelming your nervous system
• Plus much more

This isn’t about becoming more emotional. It’s about becoming more aware, honest, and free.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, overwhelmed, or unable to express what’s really going on inside, this conversation will change how you see yourself.

Follow Stephanie:

• Theads: https://www.threads.com/@mcstephiebee
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mcstephiebee/

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

If you’ve been struggling with procrastination, lack of motivation, or burnout, this episode will completely shift how you see yourself. Most people think they need more discipline or motivation, but the truth is much deeper.

In this episode, I break down why your nervous system safety determines your ability to take action. When your body doesn’t feel safe, it will resist, even if your mind knows exactly what to do. That’s why you avoid posting content, starting your business, or having difficult conversations.

You’ll learn how procrastination isn’t a flaw; it’s a protective response. And more importantly, how to rewire your internal system so that taking action feels natural instead of forced.

If you’re tired of pushing harder and getting nowhere, this might be the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.

Start asking better questions. Build safety. Change everything.

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

The moment you stop waiting for certainty, your life begins to change. Most people delay decisions because they want guarantees, whether it's asking someone out, starting a business, changing careers, or sharing an idea. But certainty rarely exists.

In this episode, I share a personal realization about hesitation, fear, and why we often wait for the “perfect moment” that never arrives. From missed opportunities in relationships to business ideas that never launched, the real problem isn't lack of confidence; it's our addiction to certainty.

Confidence is not a prerequisite for action. It’s a byproduct of it.

You’ll learn why high performers and entrepreneurs move forward despite uncertainty, how fear actually signals growth, and why taking small actions can completely change your trajectory.

If you've ever overthought decisions, delayed opportunities, or waited until you felt 100% ready, this episode will shift your perspective.

Stop waiting for guarantees. Start acting with curiosity.

Because the most important decisions in life aren’t made with certainty,  they’re made with courage.

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Jenn Noble is an ICF-accredited relationship coach, TEDx speaker, and bestselling author of Dance of Attachment. She is the founder of the Speak Honest Academy and host of the Speak Honest podcast. Jenn helps women regulate their emotions so they don’t sabotage their relationships, understand their attachment patterns, and build secure, fulfilling connections without losing themselves in the process.

Why Love Feels Unsafe: Insecure Attachment is the hidden force shaping your relationships. If you struggle with insecure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, or disorganized attachment, this episode will completely reframe how you understand love, triggers, and emotional reactions.

Why do relationships activate us so deeply? Why does a simple text delay create anxiety? Why do some people cling while others shut down? The answer lies in attachment theory and the nervous system. Insecure attachment patterns are often formed in early childhood through subtle experiences with caregivers, moments that taught your brain whether love is safe or unpredictable.

In this powerful conversation, we explore:

• The neuroscience behind insecure attachment
• Anxious vs avoidant attachment dynamics
• Disorganized attachment and the push-pull cycle
• Why your subconscious mind runs 95% of your reactions
• How childhood trauma wires adult relationships
• Nervous system dysregulation and emotional triggers
• Why butterflies can signal trauma, not chemistry
• How to build secure attachment and self-trust
• Somatic healing and rewiring attachment wounds
• Why healing insecure attachment takes time

If you’ve ever experienced relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy, emotional overwhelm, or self-sabotage in love, this episode gives you clarity and practical tools. We break down trauma bonding, attachment triggers, inner child wounds, complex PTSD in relationships, and how to regulate your nervous system in real time.

You’ll also learn how to receive love without panic, communicate with confidence, and move from survival mode to secure attachment. Whether you’re dating, married, divorced, or healing from heartbreak, understanding insecure attachment is the first step toward healthier relationships.

Secure love is possible. Emotional safety is possible. And it starts with awareness, compassion, and nervous system healing.

Follow Jenn:

• Website: https://www.speak-honest.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speak_honest/
• TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gb-Nw3TBumA

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Dr. Patti Ashley brings over four decades of expertise in special education, child development, and psychology to her transformational work as an author, TEDx speaker, psychotherapist, coach, and professional development educator. Based in Boulder, Colorado, she is the founder of Authenticity Architects, where her signature heart-centered approach helps clients rewire limiting beliefs, heal deep-rooted shame, and reconnect with their truest selves.

Most of us know we're enough, logically. But why doesn’t it feel that way? In this raw and powerful conversation, we dive deep into healing shame through the body, not just the mind. Dr. Patti Ashley explains how early childhood conditioning creates subconscious patterns that shape our identity, self-worth, and nervous system response.

We talk about perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional repression, and why true healing requires compassion, repetition, and somatic awareness. If you’ve ever felt broken, not enough, or stuck in emotional cycles, this episode will change the way you see yourself.

We also explore the difference between logical healing and embodied transformation, and how grief, shame, and suppressed emotions live in our cells. Plus, actionable steps to start feeling again, safely.

In this episode, expect to learn:

• Why shame lives in the body, not the brain.
• The real reason affirmations don’t work.
• How subconscious childhood wounds shape our adult identity.
• Why perfectionism and people-pleasing are trauma responses.
• How to regulate your nervous system safely.
• Why emotional healing is somatic, not logical.
• Daily practices to feel enough, without faking it.
• Plus much more.

Follow Patti:

• Website: https://pattiashley.com/
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/drpattiashley

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/

Tabatha DeBruyn is a Transformational Breath Master trained in the neuroscience and energetics of breath to facilitate profound inner change. One of only a few certified 9D Somatic Breathwork Practitioners worldwide, Tabatha helps people improve, stabilize, and optimize their mental, physical, and emotional well-being, starting with one breath, guiding thousands through deeply immersive journeys that awaken, heal, and transform.

Breathwork for anxiety isn’t just a trend; it’s the fastest way to reset your nervous system when your brain won’t stop spinning worst-case scenarios. In this conversation, we dive deep into how most of us are literally breathing wrong and how simple breath work shifts can move you from fight-or-flight into calm, clarity, and confidence.

You’ll learn the difference between mouth vs nose breathing, why shallow chest breaths keep you stuck in stress, and how to use belly breathing, box breathing, and the physiological sigh to calm anxiety, brain fog, and insomnia. We also unpack somatic and 9D breathwork, reprogramming the subconscious, the reticular activating system, and why high achievers get addicted to stress.

If you struggle with overthinking, morning anxiety, performance pressure, or nighttime racing thoughts, this episode will give you practical nervous system tools you can use in minutes—no crystals, no fluff, just science-backed breathing.

In this episode, expect to learn:

• Why 60–80% of people breathe “wrong” and what dysfunctional breathing looks like.
• How mouth breathing locks you into survival mode and brain fog.
• Simple belly breathing, box breathing, and the physiological sigh to calm anxiety fast.
• How breath work, somatic, and 9D breathwork can release stored emotions and reprogram the subconscious.
• Practical tools for morning anxiety, midday overwhelm, and nighttime racing thoughts.
• Plus much more.

Follow Tabatha:

• Website: https://www.tabatha.online/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tabatha_debruyn/

Let's Connect.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom

Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/

Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/