In a world of efficient and practical systems for communication, it can be easy to write-off all that isn't writeable. Yet we know that so much of the meaning we derive from conversations and people around us isn't just about words that can be written. Human beings have been given more than just the ability to transfer information to one another. We've been made in the image of God, who is more than the words he gives to us. Why is it hard to accept that God is present when his words don't seem to be?

This episode comes from some recent personal reflection and prayer, and not at all from a place of arrival. I'm learning to let God meet me in ways that aren't just journal-able, and view his nonverbal engagement with me with just as much delight as the verbal.

I referenced 1 Corinthians 2, Psalm 42, and John 14 in this episode, reading from the NIV.

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The secret to freedom is hidden in the dialogue between Peter and Jesus during the familiar Passover meal scene of John 13. The greatest hindrance to a life of love is not that it's really hard to do service for people as Jesus calls me to, but that it's really hard to allow Jesus to wash my feet first.

Part 2 of our discussion on fear and love, we look at a beautiful passage from the prophet Hosea, and reflect on what could be going on in the wilderness.

One of fear's main functions, it seems, is to "protect" us where we feel vulnerable. Fear and shame often work in tandem, causing us, like Adam and Eve, to cover ourselves and hide from the God of love. Over time, we build structures and systems for daily life that are ultimately governed by fear. In God's strange economy, it seems that the wilderness, a place where everything we are familiar with is stripped away, is a gift. It is a gift to be exposed where we have hidden, so that we might know what it's like to be run by love instead of fear.

Hosea 2v14-15 NIV

“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt."

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Part 1 of a conversation about fear and love. These two show up in my everyday life as two paths and promises on how to get what I want out of life. The biblical authors seemed to see the same war at play.

At first glance, "do not fear" sounds like pretty insensitive and unhelpful advice. It smells of spiritual bypassing. Why is it repeated so many times, by God, to his people, all through the story of the Bible? Writers like John seem to pick up on the absolute necessity of taking this into account by contrasting what it means to be perfected by the love of God rather than enslaved by fear. Fear shows up in everybody's life, every single day, in much more subversively subtle ways than horror movies would have us believe. The invitation of Jesus could be summarized as being freed from our systems of fear so that we might be liberated and governed by the love of God. Fear and love are in direct opposition as teachers on how to live.

1 John 4v15-18 NIV

"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

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Part four of a conversation about waiting. In this episode, I share some poems/prayers that have come up in my life as I learn to wait on God. Waiting is inevitable, and though it is frustrating and painful, God continues to meet me in it, redeeming my view of time I think is lost.

Poem 1:

“What do I desire as I look on gray skies

But the elusively bright observed before?

What damage is done in affirming this lie

That I must revert what the day has in store?

When sunlight peaks through darkened clouds

It is no marvel of disrespect

For the gloom I thought a useless shroud

Is adorned with the light it seemed to reject”

Poem 2:

“My God who brings the morning

With light beams and fiery dawn

With new mercies adorning

The beauty newly drawn

Here I sit in haze

Over-burdened by the night

Calling aimless each day

Live in lack of sight

Yearning for sunrise, I remember how it set

Orange and blue and cool

Was it not there I laid my head to rest?

To be healed of my tiring rule

Yes, in sleep I often wander

In dreams I’m quickly unclear

Am I to rest more than I ponder

If the night is truly here?

My God who brings the night

To carry me past false delight

To place me upon an unseen hill

From here I’ll watch the morning, still”

Excerpt from Wendell Berry poem:

“Sleep is the prayer the body prays,

Breathing in unthought faith the Breath

That through our worry-wearied days

Preserves our rest, and is our truth.”

Thanks for joining me in this journey!

Part three of a conversation about waiting on God. 

To our Western ears, waiting often sounds like an euphemism for laziness. The church is no exception to this belief. Often we hear people (or ourselves) talk about not knowing what to do, waiting, learning to trust God, and think they're just careless. At worst, we think waiting means hopelessness. There's something really uncomfortable about facing space where our input doesn't make things happen. There's something really uncomfortable about it whether we make it happen by putting margin in our calendars, or if it's forced upon us. 

Jesus' Way is not at all the easy way through life. He's certainly not lazy, but he's also not afraid to passively let God be God. We see that all through His life. Perhaps the psalmist who waits on God like the watchman waits for morning had some wisdom about what our actual responsibility is in waiting.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.

3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,

5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

7 O Israel, hope in the Lord!

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Here is part two of a conversation about waiting on God, and praying with the wisdom of Psalm 130. 

Why is it that when we try to "let go" and put waiting into practice, we find ourselves even more restless? There are so many desires at war and at play when we slow down enough to let ourselves be aware of them. Waiting on God is difficult, not because its goal is to make us feel restless, but because it often brings to the surface an already-present pedantic search for answers. Maybe answers aren't the only thing you and I need when we come to the realization that we are in the in-between.

"In waiting, we learn to have a spirituality of receptivity. In the face of a spirituality that encourages me to be manically searching for answers, there is the receptive way of life, waiting on and responding to God."

Psalm 130 NIV A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;

3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,

5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,

7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

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I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening!

Part 1 of a conversation about waiting on God, listening to the wisdom of the prayer in Psalm 130.

Psalm 130 invites us to pray by waiting. So often, we live with an idea that our time is invaluable if we are not actively producing visible results. We write off certain moments and seasons as though they are not important. Our view of self suffers, as our view of God dwindles into a picture of a divine scorekeeper, only seeing the value in us when we are in seemingly significant moments. Waiting is hard. First, it seems like a waste of time. And second, it's really hard for us to let ourselves sit still! In this episode, we'll look at the psalmist's words, and begin to talk about value of waiting on God in prayer, through our everyday moments of boredom and seasons of transition.

"Waiting on God with an awareness of my need for him, at the depths of my soul, causes me to die to the idea that some moments are just transitory and unimportant. But also, I must die to the idea that I’m the one with the responsibility of making time worthwhile on my own."

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;

3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,

5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,

7 Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

Contact me: [email protected]

I'll see you soon. Thanks so much for listening!