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Today, we're chatting about sexual intercourse education - a communication with yourself, partner, or many partners.

It took me some time to become comfortable with the topic... and then I came to realize - not all babies are made in missionary position! It would be great for more birth workers coming to terms with the fact that our clients are here because they engaged in sexual intercourse. We must educate ourselves in order to educate, encourage and respect our clients.

We chat about the value in having appropriate sexual exploration and sexual intercourse education. One said benefit is that you are BUILDING CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF and your own body! 

We discuss SEXUAL EXPLORATION - Curiosity (age appropriate), exploring yourself and your own sexual curiosity vs sexual explorations.

Education can remove some of the shame and fear in Christian American society around sexual intercourse. There is a l ack of education around sexuality, sexual intercourse, anatomy, age appropriateness. This lack of education can be dangerous for us.

Religious abstinence only education is always optimal. It steals from SOMEONE — LGBTQIA+ individuals, people who are not pleased with their partner’s performance or views on sexual intercourse, the shame some individuals carry into marriage because of this teaching. It can be steals from a potentially fulfilling intimate life.

We should also teach about relationships. Speak frankly about what marriage looks and can feel like. Let's learn about red flags and understand what we're getting ourselves into when we decide we can to engage in a casual sexual intercourse relationship.

It starts with knowing yourself. Have a look at your own genitals… your breasts… menstruation… changes in puberty… changes in day-to-day life. I feel like we talk about the facts and do not explore the feelings. Some of these physical changes come with feelings. Hormonal changes come with feelings. WHAT DO THESE HORMONE CHANGES FEEL LIKE AND ADDRESS THEM.

Knowing what YOUR healthy is much more important: your scent, color, ridges, vaginal fluid, cleaning yourself, shaving/waxing… different situations and times of the month - during menstruation, arousal, after menstruation, during ovulation. We have got to be familiar with our bodies during these stages apart from and apart of sexual interaction. Many do not know that the labia minora and vagina lubricate, the clitoris swells, the vagina lengthens, and the cervix softens and becomes more sensitive during arousal.

Well... How can we reframe sexual intercourse education? 

Sexual exploration and Sexual intercourse education — a sexual conversation… sometimes you’re communicating with yourself and sometimes the communication is with another person.

There are various stages of sexual intercourse education… kid appropriate education, preteen and newly teen education, heading to college and adult education. Educating of the potential situations Like: who is involved? what happens... potentially? when to have sexual intercourse for the first time... age... person... relationship... and the concept of virginity? for what reason you want to engage in sexual intercourse? Let's talk about contraception, pregnancy, STIs and safty. What about comfort with your partner? And do I have to have an orgasm? You've got to answer that for yourself.

And lastly, we discuss looking for love in sexual intercourse. Agreeing to a non committal interaction and the settling. Let's shape the sexual intercourse conversation into one of communication and relationship. One that can serve you.

Book recommendations

I: The Girl Guide by Marawa Ibrahim

II: PussyPedia by Zoe Mendelson, Maria Conejo and the Founders of PussyPedia.n