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A million things you didn’t learn in school - a few notes from me and the ladies on TikTok.

Low impact exercises plus high fiber plus great protein

REST and Sleep - 9-10 hours necessary, take a nap in needed.

Medical Gaslighting

Listen to your intuition

Stop feeling bad for being a women

Magnesium every night increases sleep quality and reducing bloating around the time of menstruation

Prenatals are the only vitamin combination that are actually made for women… taking them even when you're not pregnant can be great!

The male body and the female body are not the same

Depression… Anxiety… ADHD… PMS… PMDD… they look similar - THEY ARE DIFFERENT AND HAVE DIFFERENT TREATMENTS.

Humming regulates our nervous system 

Chocolate__Yoga says “I learned this a while back but we’re quite literally designed and meant to be pampered and taken care of / catered to, while on our periods. It’s an extremely spiritual and sacred time. We’re meant to relax and unwind completely.” 

“Being celibate. That’s all I’m gonna say” - hahahahaha

Learn to say "NO," and stop apologizing

Sit in the sun right when you wake up. 

Your body will reject a toxic partner before you even realize it consciously. Your nervous system tells you when a person is bad for you.

~ “Postpartum depression is more than feeling sad. It’s paranoia. It’s rage. It’s ’being suicidal.’ It’s uncontrollable weeping. It’s so much more than just “sad.”

Lymphatic drainage — jumping in the morning — 20 jumping jacks or just jumping up and down 100 times

Suppressing your emotions causes issues in your health

Preserving your fertility - The Fifth Vital Sign, Taking Charge of Your Fertility

"I drink a lot less alcohol and I feel a lot better"

"Abortions are safe… no long term physical or mental health issues"

Eating properly - you need more calories to stay in shape… eating less disrupts your hormones… PROGESTERONE

Antibiotics inhibit birth control from working properly… the birth control bleed is not a period - Everything Below the Waist

Stress and strong emotional responses can make you sick

Live according to your menstrual cycle

CRAVINGS ARE OKAY — I do not believe in food rewards… If you want it, eat. 

xoxoxox,

Ash

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Today, we're chatting about sexual intercourse education - a communication with yourself, partner, or many partners.

It took me some time to become comfortable with the topic... and then I came to realize - not all babies are made in missionary position! It would be great for more birth workers coming to terms with the fact that our clients are here because they engaged in sexual intercourse. We must educate ourselves in order to educate, encourage and respect our clients.

We chat about the value in having appropriate sexual exploration and sexual intercourse education. One said benefit is that you are BUILDING CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF and your own body! 

We discuss SEXUAL EXPLORATION - Curiosity (age appropriate), exploring yourself and your own sexual curiosity vs sexual explorations.

Education can remove some of the shame and fear in Christian American society around sexual intercourse. There is a l ack of education around sexuality, sexual intercourse, anatomy, age appropriateness. This lack of education can be dangerous for us.

Religious abstinence only education is always optimal. It steals from SOMEONE — LGBTQIA+ individuals, people who are not pleased with their partner’s performance or views on sexual intercourse, the shame some individuals carry into marriage because of this teaching. It can be steals from a potentially fulfilling intimate life.

We should also teach about relationships. Speak frankly about what marriage looks and can feel like. Let's learn about red flags and understand what we're getting ourselves into when we decide we can to engage in a casual sexual intercourse relationship.

It starts with knowing yourself. Have a look at your own genitals… your breasts… menstruation… changes in puberty… changes in day-to-day life. I feel like we talk about the facts and do not explore the feelings. Some of these physical changes come with feelings. Hormonal changes come with feelings. WHAT DO THESE HORMONE CHANGES FEEL LIKE AND ADDRESS THEM.

Knowing what YOUR healthy is much more important: your scent, color, ridges, vaginal fluid, cleaning yourself, shaving/waxing… different situations and times of the month - during menstruation, arousal, after menstruation, during ovulation. We have got to be familiar with our bodies during these stages apart from and apart of sexual interaction. Many do not know that the labia minora and vagina lubricate, the clitoris swells, the vagina lengthens, and the cervix softens and becomes more sensitive during arousal.

Well... How can we reframe sexual intercourse education? 

Sexual exploration and Sexual intercourse education — a sexual conversation… sometimes you’re communicating with yourself and sometimes the communication is with another person.

There are various stages of sexual intercourse education… kid appropriate education, preteen and newly teen education, heading to college and adult education. Educating of the potential situations Like: who is involved? what happens... potentially? when to have sexual intercourse for the first time... age... person... relationship... and the concept of virginity? for what reason you want to engage in sexual intercourse? Let's talk about contraception, pregnancy, STIs and safty. What about comfort with your partner? And do I have to have an orgasm? You've got to answer that for yourself.

And lastly, we discuss looking for love in sexual intercourse. Agreeing to a non committal interaction and the settling. Let's shape the sexual intercourse conversation into one of communication and relationship. One that can serve you.

Book recommendations

I: The Girl Guide by Marawa Ibrahim

II: PussyPedia by Zoe Mendelson, Maria Conejo and the Founders of PussyPedia.n

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Welcome back to VulvaVaginaCervix!!

I've been a doula these past 12 years and I share a story about my sister. (I am so proud of her!) As I listened to her story of medical mistreatment, I felt helpless because I have not completed my CPM (Certified Professional Midwifery) Certification just yet.

Next, I share a bit about the kinds of conversations you will have with your doula and choosing a great care provider. I mention that reading Plus Size Pregnancy is great for helping one feel better about being pregnant in a larger body. Doulas are able to help you choose the best place to birth for you.

The benefits of hiring a doula: physical and emotional support, education and advocacy, brings you and your partner closer. With your doula, you discuss what you really want for your birth. The book, Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel, has some great exercises. I also share some of what I do in my prenatal visits with clients.

Thank you for listening!!! And I'll see you next week.

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Today, we're talking about friendship: the benefits to your health, confidence and life. We discuss what a great and bad friendship looks like. 

We begin with some unhinged social media posts: Hey Blacks!!, Ugly By Proxy and AITA.

The point of today's episode: be open to making some new friends and nurturing the old relationships as well. 

GREAT Friendships: Building confidence, add humor, provide empathy, improve your health. Great friends encourage, listen and provide wisdom. Within healthy friendship, you share emotional experiences, have space to be yourself, experience connection. As  a great friend, you bring additional perspectives, call out the bullshit in a shitty situation and provide a sense of belonging and empowerment.

We talk about different pockets of friends: forever friends, going out friends, common world view friends... Friendship is so important because these are the people YOU have CHOSEN to be apart of your life. It’s okay to have one or two friends. It’s okay to have certain friends for specific areas of your life. 

How to show up for your friends and how do they show up for you? You don’t have to talk everyday… I have great friends that we talk here and there…  and show up when it matters for funerals, weddings, when someone had a hard day. You don't have to be there every second. We all have our own separate lives, but we should prioritize showing up and checking in on our friends, as well.

Toxic Friendships - Insult you… weirdly copy what you’re doing… embrace and befriend people that are not your people. People that make themselves the victim… often, doing things you are not comfortable with, disrespect your boundaries... they are not your friends. Individuals that are not happy for you... you feel drained after interacting with them... you have to lie and embarrass yourself to cover up the friend’s mess, you feel obligated to be their friend... they change when others are around... Those are not your friends. See Braving and putting friendships in appropriate boxes in the episode. 

BRAVING - Trust - Brene’ Brown: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgement, Generosity

How to be present for friends during pregnancy - are we happy for this experience? If not yet, I'll be happy when you're happy.

How to be present for friends during postpartum - make your friends food and literally just show up.

Thank you for listening. Please get out there and make some friends

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In this episode, I elaborate on a text message that I share with friends. I am not a physician. I am sharing what I do. Text below:

1. Urinate before and after sex - there is no such thing as a moment… you always time to use the restroom, use protection, and have a conversation about the sexual intercourse.

2. Have (you have) and be certain your partner has great oral hygiene... concerning oral sex. And great genital hygiene.

3. Sperm is alkaline... the vulvar and yoni environment is acidic. If your male partner is ejaculating inside or on your vulva often (more than once per week), your vaginal pH can be thrown off. Limit this practice per the pull out and barrier methods.

4. DRINK WATER... At the first sign of UTI... pelvic pain, change in urine color or smell, discomfort urinating... - drink water, KOMBUCHA — cranberry juice… drink anything and just keep going to the restroom.

5. I stopped using mainstream sanitary napkins and tampons. Towels and menstrual discs only. I learned that the skin absorbs 60-80% of whatever it is exposed to. For hours, my vulvar area and yoni were exposed to whatever was on these products when I was menstruating. And I found that almost every other month I had something going on. It was not my flow, it was my products.

6. Femdophillis!!!! The one in the refrigerator. I found this years ago and have not needed any antibiotic or cranberry juice since. You can use these orally or as suppositories... inserting them into the yoni. No UTI, No BV and no more yeast... I’ve even gone to see a physician afterward to have them do an exam and a Whiff test to be certain I was well. The physician asked what I was doing and said he would start recommending this probiotic regimen to his female patients. 

STOP taking rat poison - BORIC ACID -- It's rat poison.

You got this!! 💪🏽💪🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💕

Day 1 - take 5 and 5 suppositories 

Day 2 - 4 oral 4 suppositories 

And so on... till only one probiotic orally and no more suppositories.

7. Be certain that if you are practicing anal sex, you and your partner are not going from anal sex to yoni sex without properly cleansing your genitals or using a condom. You will introduce fecal bacteria into the yoni environment.

8. When using sex toys, be sure you clean them properly. Use the special sprays and sanitizers they sell. Using regular soap can be harmful. Some soaps break down the material of the tool or device and the soap is absorbed into the device. Then you use the device on yourself. This leads to infection.

9. Even if you decide not to bathe your entire body daily, clean your vulva daily. Even if you just use water.

10. Change your panties!! You took a walk outside - your seat is wet/damp… change your panties! You exercised… you were sitting with a blanket over your legs and now your seat is wet… you have a WARM DAMP environment... CHANGE YOUR PANTIES.

11. Your butt does not have to stink… take note from Aunty Lunell.

12. Wiping - front to back…

UTI, BV and YEAST — some products like your toilet paper, body soap, clothes detergent…  are causing irritation... sometimes the rinse cycle is too short… run it again.

Thanks for listening 💗💗 MMMmmmuah 💗💗

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GIRL!!! We need to talk. "Girl Dinner" (for those that are unaware, when you are tired or overwhelmed and dinner consists of 1-2 random items)... GIRL DINNER needs to be no more. GO GROCERY SHOPPING you beautiful, yet dehydrated, Bitch! I love you, go have a great meal!!

In this episode, we chat grocery shopping and everyday activities as a form of self care. I LOOOOVVVEEE a good face mask, massage, etc., but sometimes... I really just need to buy yogurt and fruit and fake meat, and prioritize having that for breakfast 5 days in a row instead of nothing. Sometimes, I need to let the habit of nothing but coffee till 4p go... GO and HAVE A MEAL BITCH! I need to make sure I am eating and taking good care of myself. And you need to do the same :) ~~~MMmmmmuah.

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There is no much in the news, amongst family and friends, and on TikTok panels with strangers at the moment concerning intimate partner violence. We are discussing and judging women for the decisions they are making and what has happened to them. At VulvaVaginaCervix, we simply believe women... that's it. We Believe You.

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The girlies went to see the movie Sinners and we gathered on TikTok Live to chat about it. This episode was recorded a few weeks before publishing. It does include spoilers, however, there is kinda no way to spoil the movie. Please make your way to go and see Sinners, as well. It is an incredible film... AMEN.

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Welcome to VulvaVaginaCervix!! -- an incredibly safe and fun space where we are discussing all of the things. Let's talk about our lives and how it's affecting our health and wellness. Let's talk about what's happening in the world and why it really is so important for us to contribute to the conversation! 

Join me, Ashlee, each week to discuss all of the things... mmmmuuuaahhh (that's smooches for you hoes). Laterrrrr.