Love Unboxed Podcast - Season 1, Ep. 2 : “Reframing the Myth of Relationship Work”

In this enlightening episode of Love Unboxed, host Dr. Colleen explores the commonly misunderstood phrase, “Relationships are a lot of work.” Drawing from her experience as a licensed marriage & family therapist & psychologist, she unpacks how this belief can lead to distress in relationships and offers a powerful reframe: “A sustainable relationship can be a lot of work at very specific times during its lifespan.” Dr. Colleen provides insight into navigating relationship challenges through the stories of two couples, Jenny & Tom and Jerry & Cindy, illustrating the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing red flags.

**Key Points:**

- The common misconception that all relationships should be difficult and require constant effort is addressed.

- Understanding the difference between healthy relationship work and ineffective coping strategies.

- Importance of the honeymoon phase and how it sets the foundation of a relationship.

- Insights on recognizing red flags that are not necessarily deal breakers but must be acknowledged.

- The role of boundaries in maintaining respect and balance within a relationship.

- Discussion on the Broken Wing Syndrome, (find out more in Season 1, Episode 1) where one partner may unintentionally take on the caretaker role, leading to an unbalanced dynamic.

**Couples Discussed:**

1. **Jenny & Tom**: Jenny struggles with Tom's drinking and the hurtful behavior that sometimes accompanies it, leading to a pattern of rationalizing his actions instead of setting clear boundaries.

2. **Jerry & Cindy**: Cindy’s trust issues stemming from a past relationship lead her to scrutinize Jerry's every move, creating a cycle of anxiety and frustration for both partners.

**Takeaways:**

- Recognizing when you are focusing on the wrong aspects of your relationship as “work.”

- The significance of setting expectations and having open discussions about feelings and boundaries.

- Practical strategies for navigating common relationship issues while maintaining personal well-being.

- It's crucial to differentiate between changeable behaviors and deal breakers early in a relationship.

**Resources:**

- Visit [loveunboxpodcast.com](https://loveunboxpodcast.com) to submit questions or share your thoughts.

- Check out Dr. Colleen's journal, "My Mindful Reflections: A Daily Journal for Better Mental Health," for more insights on mental well-being.

**Connect with Us:**

- **Voicemail**: Have a relationship question or story to share? Leave a message at loveunboxpodcast.com.

**Join Us Next Time:**

Stay tuned for future episodes where we tackle more aspects of love, relationships, and personal growth. Let’s keep hope alive and unpack love together!

More Resources from Dr. Colleen 

• My Mindful Reflections: A Daily Journal for Better Mental Health (get it on Amazon) -  This is a journal designed by Dr. Colleen.  You can use it to track your emotions, highlight  special moments, learn from difficult ones , let go of daily steam through daily narrative pages , and even learn to give yourself permission to take a break.
• Do you want to hire Dr. Colleen to help you?  Please check out her work at DrColleenMullen.com. 

Upcoming Workshops 

"Date Differently"  - for singles who want to break free from past relationship obstacles. 

"Love Them More " - for those in committed relationships who  want to  protect their relationship from future obstacles. 

SUPPORT THE SHOW! 

1. AMAZON.COM Use code LoveUnboxed-20 at checkout when you make your regular purchases on Amazon or visit Dr. Colleen's Amazon storefront.  You won't pay anything extra, but Dr. Colleen will make a small commission on what you purchase.
2. TBD:  Patreon- FInd out the perks of joining the Hopeful Romantic community!

Disclaimer

This show exists only for educational and/or entertainment purposes.  Although Dr. Mullen is a licensed therapist, in the capacity of  her show-hosting duties, she is not your therapist. This show is not meant as a replacement for therapy.  

• Dr. Colleen creates stories of people who are not meant to mimic, copy, or otherwise represent any specific person. These are characters she creates using various  data points from multiple people. Any likeness to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidence. 
•  

Resources for Finding a Mental Health Professional in the U.S. 

1. Therapy Den
2. Psychology Today
3. Mental Health Matters
4. Therapy for Black Girls
5. Dial 211 to be connected to a Social Services Helpline in your area that can provide you with information on mental health resources in your area.
6. The National Suicide Prevention Helpline.  or call 988    If you or someone you care about is thinking about suicide, they are there to help.

Dr. Colleen's online voicemail line is powered by SpeakPipe