rekallabrate: the podcast

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In this episode of Rekallabrate: The Podcast, I sit down with my homie Colin—better known as NUBS—for a conversation about music, creativity, mental health, being different, chasing dreams, & what happens when you finally take the fucking mask off.

Nubs was born without arms or legs. He also drives, rolls & lights his own blunts, makes beats, raps, sings, produces music, creates artwork, is a dad, & is genuinely one of the most capable, creative, driven & inspiring humans I know.

But this conversation isn't really about all the shit Nubs can do without limbs.

It's about who he is underneath all of it.

We start by talking about music, Odd Squad Family, his upcoming solo project Dream Chasin', creativity, comparison, social media & the weird reality of chasing success after you've already gotten a taste of it.

Nubs talks about learning that you don't get the hits by chasing hits. You have to fall back in love with the thing you're creating in the first place.

& then we go somewhere much deeper.

Nubs opens up about experiencing severe anxiety & panic attacks, going to therapy, learning how to communicate with himself, & realizing that for much of his life, “Nubs” had also been a mask—a version of himself he created in an attempt to feel normal, accepted & like he belonged.

We talk about:

• creativity, music & chasing dreams
• comparison & the absolute mindfuck that is social media
• discipline vs. giving yourself grace
• why success is absolutely not fucking linear
• falling back in love with your art instead of chasing numbers
• anxiety, panic attacks & therapy
• learning how to actually communicate with yourself
• growing up without seeing anyone who looked like you
• being treated the same while also desperately needing someone to acknowledge that you ARE different
• self-acceptance & taking the fucking mask off
• why fitting in doesn't necessarily mean you belong
• hate comments, triggers, projections & the stories we secretly believe about ourselves
• parenting & wondering whether you're doing a good enough job
• authenticity & why motivational shit hits differently when you've actually lived it
• showing up even when you aren't at your best
• never stopping fucking dreaming

At one point Nubs says something that I think sums up this entire conversation:

Be beautifully different.

Because you are.

You don't have to pretend you're the same as everyone else to belong here. You don't have to turn your pain into toxic positivity. You don't have to have your shit together every day.

You can fuck up. You can have a bad day. You can cry on your homie's podcast.

You can give yourself some fucking grace.

& then you can show up again tomorrow.

This conversation made me laugh, made me think, taught me some shit about myself, & yes—I officially earned the highly prestigious Rekallabrate Podcast Medal of Honor by making Nubs cry.

I fucking love this one.

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COLIN/NUBS:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imking.nubs
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImNUBS/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@OnlyDreamers
Website: https://oddsquadfamily.com/

KALLA PAIGE / REKALLABRATE:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate
Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, & leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated, too! I love y'all!

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In this episode of Rekallabrate: The Podcast, I sit down with my internet friend DK to talk about one of the coolest & weirdest creative practices I’ve ever encountered: bottling experiences & songs into smells.

DK is trained in aromatherapy, but somewhere along the way she realized she had a gift that went way beyond the textbook use of essential oils.

She can listen to a song & smell it.

Meet a person & bottle their essence.

Experience a trip, conversation, album, friendship, grief, memory, or moment in time & translate it into a blend of oils.

Basically…she makes life smell like something.

DK shares how this started with music, when she began intuitively blending oils while listening to songs & eventually handed a musician a bottle after a show and said, “This is what your music smells like to me.”

Which is objectively one of the coolest fucking things you could say to someone.

We talk about smell as a form of time travel, the connection between scent, memory & emotion, & what happens when you stop trying to create something with your brain & allow yourself to become a channel for whatever wants to come through.

DK also shares some WILD stories about the oils she’s created—including intuitively adding patchouli to a blend for a grieving woman only to later learn that patchouli was her late husband’s scent.

Goosebumps.

We get into:

• bottling music, people, memories & experiences into scent
• aromatherapy as art rather than simply something therapeutic
• smell as a form of time travel
• scent, memory & emotion
• intuition, synchronicities & creative flow
• creating without knowing what the fuck you’re doing first
• essential oils as a kind of divination tool
• getting out of your head & trusting your body
• why DK sometimes chooses oils without even looking at the labels
• the similarities between blending oils & writing or producing music
• why some creations happen immediately & others take YEARS
• preserving moments through smell
• grief, memory & the strange ways people we love can seemingly come through
• keeping something you love as art instead of forcing it into a business
• letting creativity exist without needing to monetize, explain, justify, or perfect it

& while this conversation is technically about essential oils, I think it’s really about something much bigger.

Giving yourself permission to create weird shit.

To follow the idea that makes absolutely no sense.

To make something because you feel called to make it—not because it fits into a business model, makes money, follows the rules, or can be neatly explained to other people.

Sometimes your weird little thing might actually be your gift.

& sometimes you just have to get the fuck out of your own head long enough to find out.

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DK / DKONCOCTIONS:
Instagram @dkoncoctions: https://www.instagram.com/dkoncoctions

KALLA PAIGE / REKALLABRATE:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate
Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, & leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated, too! I love y'all!

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Rekallabrate: The Podcast, I sit down with my longtime internet friend Cassie Colón to talk about minerals, HTMA, burnout, nourishment, & what happens when we stop trying to force our bodies into wellness & actually start listening to them.

Cassie is a Mineral Nutritional Balancing Practitioner specializing in Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis (HTMA)—a test that uses a small sample of hair to look at mineral patterns & ratios in the body.

After years of chronic fatigue, hormonal issues, digestive problems, low energy, & going from doctor to doctor looking for answers, Cassie eventually found mineral balancing. What started as her own attempt to feel better completely changed the way she understood her body & eventually became the work she now does with others.

We talk about what minerals actually do in the body, what HTMA can tell us, why so many of us may be more depleted than we realize, & why healing sometimes looks a whole lot less like adding another wellness practice & a whole lot more like eating breakfast, getting enough protein, taking a fucking nap, & slowing down.

We also get into the very unsexy reality of wellness: sometimes we’re addicted to stress, stimulants, exercise, productivity, chaos, & constantly DOING something to fix ourselves when our bodies might actually be begging us to do less.

We talk about:

• what HTMA is & what your hair can reveal about mineral patterns
• mineral depletion, burnout, stress & the nervous system
• calcium, magnesium, sodium, potassium & mineral ratios
• slow vs. fast oxidation
• why breakfast & animal protein are such a big part of Cassie’s work
• caffeine, alcohol, cannabis & stimulants
• gentle detox practices like castor oil packs, sauna & red light
• women, fertility, nourishment & learning to rest
• our complicated millennial relationship with food, fat & our bodies
• psychedelics, microdosing & whether we’re resourced enough to integrate the experiences we’re seeking
• calcium shells & the emotional side of mineral balancing
• relationships & the question: do you actually need to break up—or are you just fucking depleted?
• learning to listen to your body instead of constantly overriding it

This conversation goes way beyond minerals. It’s really about coming back into relationship with your body & questioning how much of what we’ve been taught about “health” has actually taught us to ignore it.

Maybe wellness doesn’t need to be another thing we exhaust ourselves trying to achieve.

Maybe you need breakfast.

Maybe you need a nap.

Maybe you need a steak.

& maybe your body has been communicating with you this entire time.

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CASSIE COLÓN / CASSIE’S ALTAR:
Instagram @cassielee: https://www.instagram.com/___cassielee___
Website: https://cassiesaltar.com/

KALLA PAIGE / REKALLABRATE:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate
Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, & leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated, too! I love y'all!

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I’ve been off social media for 52 days & I wanna see what happens if I share a podcast & don’t tell anyone about it, post about it, promote it at all. So, if you found this because you’re subscribed…hi. Thanks for giving a shit. 🖤

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Pet grief is real grief. & I have to admit that even I thought there was a “hierarchy” to grief until I lost my cat after my dad died. 

People act like it’s “just a dog” or “just a cat” until suddenly their entire routine, house, nervous system, & life feels wrong because that animal is gone.

In this episode, Katie & I talk about pet grief, soul dogs, rescue culture, the weird side of the pet industry, puppy yoga, backyard breeding, & how losing an animal can completely change you as a person.

Katie shares the story of losing her dog Champ & how that loss ended up changing the direction of her life entirely. We also talk about the reality that grief doesn’t really operate in a hierarchy. Loss is loss. & sometimes losing an animal hits people harder than losing certain humans because of the role they played in your daily life.

We get into:

• pet grief & why people minimize it
• what a “soul dog” even is
• the emotional & spiritual side of losing animals
• the ethics of rescue, breeding, & pet overpopulation
• why puppy yoga isn’t always as “cute” as it seems
• how grief can crack you open in both horrible & meaningful ways

This episode is sad, funny, honest, dark at times, & honestly just a really human conversation about love, loss, attachment, purpose, & the fact that animals impact our lives way more deeply than a lot of people want to admit.

If you’ve ever loved or lost a pet, this one will hit home.

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KATIE RAPKOCH / PAWS AND BREATHE AZ: 

Instagram @pawsandbreatheaz: https://www.instagram.com/pawsandbreatheaz

Website: https://www.pawsandbreatheaz.com/

KALLA PAIGE / REKALLABRATE:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate

Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated! I love y'all!

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Rekallabrate: The Podcast, I sit down with Hayden for a deeply vulnerable conversation about grief, pregnancy loss, motherhood, & what it means to continue living after your world has been cracked open.

Hayden shares her experience with pregnancy loss and the complicated, layered grief that followed—not only the loss of her baby, but the way that loss reshaped how she sees herself, her body, motherhood, & future pregnancies.

We also talk about the loss of Hayden’s father & how that grief cracked something open in her life in a completely different way. Grief has a way of doing that—breaking us open, rearranging things, forcing us to look at life, death, & love in ways we never expected.

Throughout this conversation we talk about something that doesn’t get said enough: grief needs to be witnessed. Not rushed. Not fixed. Not explained away. Witnessed.

We talk about the anger that can come with loss, the fear that can follow pregnancy loss into future pregnancies, & the isolation so many women feel when they experience something that is actually far more common than we talk about.

We also talk about claiming the identity of M O T H E R after pregnancy loss. & how grief can evolve into something that eventually becomes part of your story, your purpose, & the way you show up for others.

This conversation is raw, emotional, & deeply human.

Hayden shares parts of her story with incredible honesty, & that kind of vulnerability deserves to be held with care. I ask that you come to this episode with reverence and deep respect for Hayden’s willingness to be seen in her grief. My prayer is that all of us can be moved by it & perhaps learn to move through this world with a little more compassion & understanding for one another.

If you have experienced loss yourself—or if you love someone who has—I hope this conversation reminds you that you are not alone.

Grief is something every human will encounter in this life.

& sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply witness it.

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HAYDEN CURRY / THE COPPER SPIRAL: 

Instagram @haydenn_curryy: https://www.instagram.com/haydenn_curryy

Instagram @thecopperspiral: https://www.instagram.com/thecopperspiral

Website: https://www.thecopperspiralcreative.com/

KALLA:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate

Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated, too! I love y'all!

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of rekallabrate: the podcast, I sit down with my friend Ransom, AKA Chef Ra, to talk about N O U R I S H M E N T. 

This is about more than just eating or cooking. It’s about the ART of nourishment—something Ransom has made a career for himself doing!

We talk about his journey from being a teacher & living nomadically to becoming a retreat chef & grounding down in one place for awhile. 

Ransom chefs it up in high-intention spaces where food isn’t just fuel, it’s part of the healing, the bonding, the slowing down. When you’re cooking for high vibrational retreats, you can’t hide behind convenience. You have to source well. Plan intentionally. Consider everyone in the room. Nourishment becomes art.

We get into:

• What it actually takes to meal plan (for a retreat or just your family) without burning out
• Why sourcing quality ingredients matters more than we pretend
• Cooking for families in a way that feels grounding instead of overwhelming
• The difference between eating quickly & being nourished deeply
• Minimizing waste & respecting food as something sacred, but also not falling into the trap of eating every leftover like a garbage disposal
• Sensual nourishment (yes, we go there!) & how presence, attention, & food create intimacy between couples & humans
• The importance of praying over your food

Cooking is creative. It’s practical. It’s discipline. It’s devotion. It’s deeply relational.

There’s something powerful about choosing to nourish instead of just consume. About slowing down long enough to taste your food. About feeding the people you love with intention instead of autopilot.

If you eat food, this one’s for you.

& if you’ve been rushing through meals, disconnected from your body, or treating cooking like a chore, this episode might recalibrate the way you think about your kitchen.

Food is a gift from the earth.
 Cooking is an art form.
 Nourishment is an investment in health & vitality for not just you, but future generations.

Let’s cook, baby!

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RANSOM / CHEF RA: 

Instagram @chef.raaa: https://www.instagram.com/chef.raaa

Instagram @radiant.ransom: https://www.instagram.com/radiant.ransom

KALLA:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate

Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

Thank you for listening, subscribing, and leaving a 5 star review on this episode! Your comments & feedback are always welcome & appreciated, too! I love y'all!

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of rekallabrate: the podcast, I sit down with one of my best friends, Mikaela, a somatic guide who works with vocal activation. 

We talk about something most of us were trained out of using: our V O I C E.

Singing. Talking. Writing. & most importantly, speaking TRUTH. Feeling sound in your body. Letting what’s inside of you actually come out.

We share our own stories about suppressing our voices, performing versions of ourselves, shrinking to keep the peace, & what it looks like to stop doing that. 

Mikaela breaks down why & how the voice is an ancient healing tool, how it lives in the body, & why it’s less about “sounding good” and more about feeling HONEST.

We talk about fear.

 Hard conversations.

 Social media personas.

 AI—& the subtle (& not so subtle) homogenization of expression.

 Sisterhood.

 The discomfort (& freedom!) of being seen.

Because in a world where algorithms reward sameness & AI can replicate tone, cadence, & even creativity—choosing to use your REAL VOICE might be one of the most rebellious things you can do.

If you’ve ever felt like your voice was “too much,” “too loud,” “too emotional,” or not good enough—this conversation is 100000% for you.

Your voice is an expression of your soul & it is SOLELY YOURS.

Now is THE time to use it.

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MIKAELA: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikaelagoldsun

Website: https://mikaelasullivan.squarespace.com/

KALLA:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate

Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

ARIA’S SONG:

“I Am Enough” by Aria Kate anywhere you listen to music 

Spotify Link: https://open.spotify.com/track/0WneC30M3JotywIBHKyzJ3?si=SA5AgYegRNexFvAMUS8Cqw

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In this episode, I sit down with someone who is one of my best friends, one of my teachers, & one of my all-time favorite artists, Josh AKA The Kaleidoscope Kid. 

This episode is all about C R E A T I V I T Y.

& trust me, we keep it real. 

We talk about the creative process & what it actually looks like to write a song. Like, where do the ideas come from & what does the process look like from start to finish? Josh talks about the importance of LIVING LIFE so that you have inspiration for your art, & how sometimes even simple conversations can lead to big ideas.

We also get into that rockstar life, like what it’s like to collaborate, start a band, & even go on tour.

But perhaps most importantly, we talk about the real shit that comes up for EVERY artist: self-doubt, anxiety, comparison, & the hard shit. Josh gets into the importance of having supportive & inspiring people around you who simply give you permission to create & be exactly who you are. People who remind you of your talent when you might forget.

This is a conversation about artistic expression, but it’s also about being human. About nurturing the reason you started creating in the first place. About living your actual life so you have something real to say.

If you make things or want to make things—music, writing, a business, painting, sculpting, cooking, whatever—this one will fuel your soul & creativity.

Huge shout out to Josh for being INSTRUMENTAL in the creation of this podcast. If it weren’t for him, I never would have gotten started on this journey. He made my OG cover art, was the first interview I ever did, & even let me use his song for the intro & outro. 

If you like good music, philosophy, art, & awesome people, you should definitely give The Kaleidoscope Kid a follow & DEFINITELY check him out live if you EVER have the chance. 

As always, thank you for taking the time to listen. I appreciate the follows, shares, likes, & subscriptions! But most of all, I love to hear how each episode impacts you, your thinking, & your life. ❤️‍🔥

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THE KALEIDOSCOPE KID: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekaleidoscopekid

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheKaleidoscopeKid/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/thekaleidoscopekid

Website: https://www.tkkofficial.com

KALLA:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rekallabrate

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rekallabrate

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/rekallabrate

Website: https://www.rekallabrate.com

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In this episode of Rekallabrate: The Podcast, I sits down with my grief mentor & teacher Shaelyn for a grounded, honest conversation about grief.

Through her teachings & her offering of “Elemental Grief”—a seven week grief journey informed by the earth’s elements—Shaelyn has utterly transformed my relationship with my grief. 

I was so excited to record this episode with her & it instantly became one of my favorites. 

I am confident that you, too, will feel a shift after listening to this episode.

We talk about what grief actually looks like, how it lives in the body, & why pretending we’re “fine” helps no one.

Shaelyn shares her experience losing both parents at a young age & how that shaped her relationship with grief—not as something to get over, but something to tend. 

We talk about grief as a communal experience, the importance of death planning (yes, really), & the role storytelling plays in keeping us connected—to each other & to those we’ve lost.

This isn’t a polished, performative grief episode. It’s real talk about death, presence, ancestral wisdom, & what it means to live fully while knowing loss is part of the deal. Grief isn’t the opposite of life—it’s woven into it.

If you’ve ever felt isolated in your grief, uncomfortable talking about death, or unsure how to hold loss without trying to fix it, this episode is for you.

Be sure to give Shaelyn a follow on the ‘gram so you can stay up to date with her offerings, including the reemergence & restructuring of Grief Temple. 

As always, thank you for taking the time to listen. I appreciate the follows, shares, likes, & subscriptions! But most of all, I love to hear how each episode impacts you, your thinking, & your life. ❤️‍🔥

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SHAELYN:

Instagram: @shayshaybuttababy

KALLA:

Instagram: @rekallabrate

Youtube: @rekallabrate

Website: rekallabrate.com