Relationship By Design

In this episode, Sandy&Lon continue with John briefly educating us on a coaching course they had done years ago for parents titled Parents: Outside The Trap. Are you interested in knowing more about the course? Let us know here.

If you’d like to join us on Zoom for community “What’s On Your Mind?” calls, click here and add yourself to the notification list. 

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

In this episode, John Biethan the producer of the podcast, asks Sandy&Lon for their comments on his thoughts about "arrangements."

In some family relationships, in certain conditions, and when people get together in relationship and marriage, there “may” be a conscious or unconscious “arrangement and/or agreement” at play.

In the next episode, Sandy&Lon discuss their workshop titled “Parents: Outside The Trap.”

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

Subtitled: An Individual-based paradigm

In this episode, we’ve taken the liberty of starting off with the last few minutes of the previous episode 10, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 2, where Sandy&Lon talk about relationships during the holiday season.

For more insights into the impact the holidays may have on your relationships, listen to episode 6, Strike 1: The Fantasy, and episode 8, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Continuing on from episode 008 Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1, today Sandy&Lon take a deeper look into fear and what happens when it feeds into relationships when they're shaped.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com

If you really listen to yourselves talking about your relationships, you’ll hear (1) how often you exaggerate with “always” and “never” - which fills your future with your past - and (2) how often you unconsciously talk about what happened in the past as if it’s happening now - which also fills your future with your past.

Having a future filled with the past - which is, in a very real sense, forfeiting your future to the past - is the definition of resignation, which literally means “marked or signed again.”

Today, a friend of ours spoke about how his wife “wakes me when she gets up early in the morning, and I can’t get back to sleep again.” By speaking in that way, he had what happened yesterday (and perhaps some other days in the past) as happening now and into the future. That produces resignation.

That’s very different than saying “yesterday, and several other days recently, my wife awakened me when she got up early in the morning and I didn’t go back to sleep again.” The latter way of speaking - saying what happened as what happened rather than as what’s happening - puts the past in the past and produces the room for a new future, an opportunity to create another way of relating in future mornings.

Creating new possible ways of behaving together resolves issues in your relationships rather than extends issues of the past into the present and future. And it’s all a function of being aware of the automatic, unthinking way you have been speaking.

Saying what happened in the past as though it’s happening now is not unique to you. You live in a “linguistic environment” in which exactly that way of speaking is the norm and keeps most people - and their relationships - stuck in the past. When you get unstuck from the past, there’s nothing to fix. 

There’s a future to be created together.   

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Commitments and promises are the foundation for every relationship.

What is the basis for your relationships? For ALL relationships? There’s a foundation that all relationships rest, lay, or stand on. For the most part, as human beings, we haven’t really looked at what our relationships stand on.

Today, Sandy and Lon explore what the basis is for all relationships.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Today Paul Bennett from Relationship By Design is reading his blog post about Politics and Relationships. 

There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in American politics today. There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in relationships, too. Could there be a connection? 

All of us want politics to deliver what we want. What does your own list of wants include? Safe communities, a clean environment, world peace, sound infrastructure, education? What else? 

We’re in relationships to get what we want, too. We enter marriages for love and family, for example. Business relationships are for profit. Friendships deliver mutual support, a sense of connection, fun … and more. 

Click here to read the complete article.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Today Sandy and Lon Golnick are talking about the “fantasy” in a relationship they call Strike 1. They’ll be covering the problems; what you’re looking for; everything you want, all the time, everywhere, w/everyone, forever - and that fantasy is not going away.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Unseen conditions undermine effectiveness.

Today Sandy and Lon Golnick take a look at what’s hidden from our view when we have upsets or concerns, and breakdowns in relationships. So what happens when you don’t see what’s actually going on? 

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com 

Subtitled: Synonyms, characteristics, actions; you don’t know; problems; blame.

Today Sandy and Lon Golnick have a short conversation discussing “What is a relationship?” The question is not answered here, but what’s given are a few things to consider when attempting to understand what a relationship is.

If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship

Sandy & Lon Golnick
www.RelationshipByDesign.com
760-603-8343