⚠️Trigger Warning: This episode discusses past abusive relationships, stalking/harassment by an ex-partner, trauma recovery, family estrangement, and mental health topics including anxiety and OCD. Please listen with care and take breaks if needed.
In this episode of The Neurodivergent Creative, Caitlin shares how romance novels have unexpectedly helped her heal from relationship trauma and emotional abuse.
March marks the anniversary of leaving an abusive marriage, which brings up a lot of memories and emotional triggers. But instead of viewing healing as a straight line, or assuming that getting triggered means you're back at the beginning, Caitlin introduces a powerful idea: Healing is a spiral staircase.
You may encounter the same triggers again and again, but you are meeting them from a different place each time.
This episode explores how trauma healing unfolds in layers, how safe relationships can help rewire the nervous system, and how romance novels can model communication, repair, and emotional safety in ways many of us never experienced growing up.
What We Explore in This Episode:

• Trauma healing and the spiral staircase metaphor
• Why triggers changing over time is actually evidence of healing
• Leaving an abusive marriage and rebuilding safety
• The role of romance novels in reshaping beliefs about love, repair, and communication
• How fiction can model safe relationships when real life didn’t
• The emotional power of dual POV romance and seeing care from both sides
• Queer identity, bisexual visibility, and romance representation
• Learning to communicate needs in a healthy relationship after emotional abuse
• Why “use your words” can feel revolutionary when you’ve been trained not to

Reflection Questions

• Where in your life are you assuming that being triggered means you’re “back at the beginning”?
• What would change if you viewed your healing as a spiral instead of a straight line?
• Are there stories, books, or characters helping you imagine safer ways of being loved?
• What small communication need have you been sitting on because part of you still expects punishment?

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Go make weird art. Use your words. Let yourself be loved safely.
And remember, the fact that it still hurts sometimes does not mean you aren’t healing.
I love you! There’s nothing you can do about it. 💜