In this episode, we talk about relationshipping- both navigating new ones and rebuilding current ones during recovery. Elyse starts us out with the issue of codependency- we've found that as addicts, we tend to try to fill some void within- afterall, our life mission is to feel better! We can still do this without a substance by trying to seek out, fix, enable, or find ourselves otherwise drawn to others that have just as many problems as we do. Nick gives us the flip side example- as many of us have also been on the receiving end of codependency- when someone else tries to fix, save, or control us, especially in addiction. We discuss the roles and drivers that we tend to see in all sides of these dynamics- feeling needed and wanted and a means of escaping pain or discomfort. So, how do we accept find acceptance of pain and care for our own needs? Nick puts it simply- self-esteem is built by doing estimable things. Practicing new behaviors usually have the biggest effect on ourselves and everyone around us. Engaging with a recovery program has helped us to get support through the pain while showing us how to act in estimable ways.

Tool References: Bermuda Triangle of Enabling (Toolkit 2), Escape the Triangle (Toolkit 2), Counterbalancing the Weights of Our Past (Toolkit 2)