Relevant Faith Journey

Have you ever stopped to think about the messaging to women about their words. I'll relate a few examples from sermons, books and experiences that give a picture of the repeated admonition that women should watch what they say. I'll talk about the myth that women talk too much and explore where we go from here.

I'll finish up with a retelling of a recent experience at a women's retreat and the story of Julius Jones.

Link to the Bare Marriage Podcast episode: https://baremarriage.com/2023/03/do-women-talk-more-than-men-podcast/
Amazon book summary quote for Keep it Shut
Quoted in this episode: Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment. Shannon Ethridge, Waterbrook Press, 2003, page 106.
Link to the source for James Dobson quote: http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/myl/languagelog/archives/003420.html
Scientific American Study that explains a study about the number of words men and women say: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/women-talk-more-than-men/
I really enjoyed this article about relationships. It was the source for the information on the review of 56 linguistic studies: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/marriage-equals/201910/do-women-really-talk-more-men
The research paper describes men and women group conversation. It’s a little too dense for me to summarize, but best I can tell it describes some of what I’m talking about with interruptions. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264524279_Gender_Inequality_in_Deliberation_Unpacking_the_Black_Box_of_Interaction 
Read more about CeCe Jones-Davis and Julius Jones here: https://religionnews.com/2022/02/09/cece-jones-davis-continues-support-for-julius-jones-who-she-helped-get-off-death-row/

In this week's episode I talk about Saddleback Church's exit from the Southern Baptist Convention over the ordination of women. This even gets at a deeper issue. I discus the doctrine of complementarianism, the divide between men and women that needs healing and give some advice on how to bring change to your faith community.
 
Here are a few resources that I used in this episode:

Listen to Rick Warren’s speech here: https://youtu.be/MBsT1zFmC3E
A previous blog post on Complementarianism:  https://www.relevantfaithjourney.com/post/brighter-together-does-equal-mean-equal
The Baptist Faith & Message 2000 Section on Family:   https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/#xi
I do not address the scriptural basis for equality beliefs here, but here is a previous post that is relevant to the topic:  https://www.relevantfaithjourney.com/post/brighter-together-the-intersection-of-scripture-and-gender-roles
This is also great TikTok about women preachers and the Bible: https://www.tiktok.com/@pastorparrott/video/7202680079216839978
Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Mission Statement, quoted in this episode:  https://cbmw.org/about/mission-vision/
Here’s the URL for the excerpt from Beth Moore’ Memoire talking about her experience of being welcomed in an Anglican church. Christianity Today Article
You can find an extended report on Beth Moore’s exit from the SBC here: Religion News Article 
Beth Moore’s blog post from 2018: “A Letter to My Brothers.” You should read the whole thing. It’s good. https://blog.lproof.org/2018/05/a-letter-to-my-brothers.html 

This isn’t so much about what’s happening at Asbury University, although it does provide a backdrop for the topic. I’m talking about the shortsighted emphasis on a personal religious experience that white Christians (including myself) lean into. This comes in to play around our ideas about revival. 

 (spoiler alert) In contrast, our black and brown brothers and sisters in Christ see God’s salvation as being at work in community, bringing systemic change. That means they tend to be a lot more concerned with social issues and transformation beyond the individual. I think there’s something for us to learn in that. In a small way it mirrors the message of Love in Action that preceded some of what’s happening now at Asbury. 

Let me know what you think! What ways have you found to pursue transformation in your life and community? 

Here are a couple of references that come from this episode: 

Last week I talked about gender roles through the 60s and 70. This week I'm picking up in the 1980s with the development of the Christian media marketplace. TV preachers, Christian bookstores, musicians and merchandise all began to shape a somewhat uniform evangelical culture in the US. With that came the rise of purity culture, the effects of which cannot be understated.

I wrap up this episode with some space to grieve what has been lost to purity culture and look forward to more healing in the days to come.

I used several resources in writing this episode. Here are where you can find them.

Kenneth Copeland's Blog: https://blog.kcm.org/the-7-laws-of-prosperity/
This is an article about the history of sex education in the United States:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/uploads/filer_public/da/67/da67fd5d-631d-438a-85e8-a446d90fd1e3/20170209_sexed_d04_1.pdf
Lifeway's site that show the history of the True Love Waits Campaign: 
https://www.lifeway.com/en/product-family/true-love-waits/history
Washington Post article that talks about Joshua Harris:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/long-an-outsider-popular-evangelical-pastor-heads-for-the-mainstream/2015/01/30/31827364-a881-11e4-a7c2-03d37af98440_story.html
Joshua Harris' apology: https://joshharris.com/i-kissed-dating-goodbye
Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers on the Reclaiming My Faith Podcast I definitely recommend this whole series.  https://www.buzzsprout.com/1136723/11786604-from-purity-culture-sexual-shame-w-dr-tina-schermer-sellers 

In this episode I'll talk about some of the roots of purity culture that came about in the 1960s and 70s. In the midst of the feminist movement, the sexual revolution, the Cold War and the Vietnam Conflict, evangelicals identified a crisis of the family. It's true, folks needed help navigating changing power dynamics in their relationships. The evangelical response was to double down on the way things were. If traditional gender roles worked before, they should work now.

In this episode I make several references to the following book:
Du Mez, Kristin Kobes. (June 2020) Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation.

I also gathered information on the Vietnam War from Wikipedia. You can find it here:
Vietnam War—The Aftermath. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_War#Casualties

Continuing this series on gender roles, in this episode I look at two passages from the Bible where the Apostle Paul gives relationship advice. The first is 1 Corinthians 7 and is mentioned on occasion. The second is Ephesians 5.21-33 that I talked about in the last episode which has been used to reinforce a traditional view of gender roles. Although I hope to reframe these passages, my goal is for us to be honest about our biases and ask, "Why do we favor this view over the other?"

Continuing this series on gender roles, I am diving into this concept of Complementarianism. It was a new term for me until we started attending a church that didn't ordain women pastors. Is it truly equality if certain roles are unavailable? Some say yes and some say no. There is a lot more to say about how these ideas effect our relationships, so stay tuned for next week's episode.

Here are a few of the resources I used in this episode:
Here’s a short video that talks about the origin of the term. https://www.biblestudytools.com/video/what-is-complementarity.html
[Here’s an article that does a good job of explaining both viewpoints: https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-are-complementarianism-and-egalitarianism-what-s-the-difference.html
The online commentary from David Guzik:  https://www.blueletterbible.org/comm/guzik_david/study-guide/ephesians/ephesians-5.cfm?a=1102027

In this episode I talk about the benefit of men and women working together. What big corporations have figured out is that a diverse workforce is the most profitable. But there is still work to be done, especial in faith communities. Building on ideas from the last episode, I'm exploring ideas about gender and culture. 


Here's the URL for a study referenced in this episode: 
https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace?gclid=CjwKCAiAwc-dBhA7EiwAxPRylDepT5sfdg6-p1QRZ4ygHu9sCWOgkAhDpdGYzJ_Wo5IiRlR2Sihm2BoC4QgQAvD_BwE 

Occasionally, I wonder if I peaked in college when I was selected to preach for chapel in front of 1500 of my peers. I aspired to be a Senior Pastor one day, so what happened? In this episode, I talk about living in Hawaii, how a little church helped me develop as a leader and look at the longer arc of my shooting star. For a variety of reasons we often hold ourselves back from doing big things. There’s work to be done and we are just the ones to do it. 

There's nothing magical about the turning of the New Year, but it does provide a great opportunity to reflect and look forward. In this episode I'll retell my 2022 highlights and talk about setting goals or, as I prefer to call it, making plans.