I'm joined by my co-host Kristen Tideman for the third installment of the Anxious Times series. We dig into Emmy van Dersen's concept of "the necessary" — the hard limits baked into existence that we can't change, only accept — and explore how resisting these limits is one of the biggest drivers of unhealthy anxiety, whether you're navigating religious deconstruction, a new diagnosis, or just being alive in a chaotic world.

In the Patron-only second half, Kristen shares the raw, emotional story of her MS diagnosis as a lived case study in running headfirst into hard limits, and we explore what it looks like to resist or deny the necessary — from anti-aging culture to political utopianism to religious change.

Highlights:

Defining "the necessary" (hard limits)

Mortality, uncertainty, embodiment as givens

Kristen's MS diagnosis and processing

Religious change and false certainty

Acceptance ≠ approval or minimizing

Anxious Times Episode Part 1⁠

⁠Anxious Times Episode Part 2

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I sit down with theologian and ethicist Dr. Jared Stacey to unpack his new book Reality in Ruins: How Conspiracy Theory Became an Evangelical Crisis, exploring what actually distinguishes a conspiracy theory from a real conspiracy — and why the answer matters more than ever in the wake of the Epstein file releases.

Jared on IG | @Jaredmstacy

Highlights: 

Psychology of conspiratorial thinking

Modernity, agency panic, capitalism

Boundary situations and anxiety

Shared reality and relationship limits

Hope for repentance and change

Other Conspiracy Theories Episodes:

#207 | Christianity & Conspiracy Theories⁠

⁠#100 | A History of Conspiracy Theories & Evangelicals⁠

#74 | Conspiracy Theories, Evangelicals, Media & More

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Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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We're not just individually stressed — we're living through a historic collision of crises that existential psychology has a name for. In this second episode of our Anxious Times series, Kristen Tideman and I explore why the anxiety so many of us feel right now isn't a personal failing, but an honest response to the world we've actually inherited. We explore things like:

What a "boundary situation" really is

Three overlapping crises reshaping modern life

Why shared reality is fracturing (and hurting)

The surprising upside of hitting your limits

Therapy tools for navigating the uncontrollable

Anxious Times Episode Part 1

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Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this episode, I sit down with Harper’s Magazine Editor Christopher Beha to explore why neither scientific materialism nor romantic idealism fully satisfies — and what a third path might look like. We ask questions like:

Does materialism account for consciousness?

Is hard determinism therapeutically dangerous?

Can we rationally care about others?

What breaks down in "radical authenticity"?

In the Patron-only second half, we land on skeptical belief itself — and why love might be the best epistemology we have.

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Introducing a NEW five-part series called Anxious Times, focused on practical insights from existential psychology for navigating intense periods like the one we’re living through, both collectively and individually.

Drawing on thinkers like Karl Jaspers, Rollo May, and Emmy van Deurzen, existential psychology provides actionable tools to help you engage with (and not just avoid or manage symptoms of) the realities of our sociopolitical moment, challenging personal circumstances, and the disorienting anxiety of religious or worldview change.

My co-host for the series is Kristen Tideman, a longtime friend who is navigating what we’re calling the “Triple Crown” of anxiety after having a baby, being diagnosed with MS, and continuing in her own journey of religious change all in the last year. 

In this first episode, we’ll look at a few introductory concepts to help us conceive of anxiety in a more productive way.

Hope you enjoy and find it helpful.

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Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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…In this sociopolitical economy, that is. I’m joined in today’s Generation Gap Culture Hour by regulars Josh Gilbert, Tony Jones, and we hear all about the newest generation to our experiment — Josh’s brand new baby!  A rewatch of Last of the Mohicans has me seriously considering learning a new hobby, and Tony's 6% confidence in me is, frankly, offensive. We close out the first half of the episode sizing up the US-Israel strike on Iran and why the story is far more complicated than your Instagram feed is letting on.

In the Patron only second-half, Tony shares a close-to-home run-in with conspiracy rabbit holes that pulls us into the psychology of misinformation and eroding shared reality, before we land on who should and shouldn't be writing books about polyamory or psychedelics.
___________________________________________

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Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this episode, I sit down with Tim Burnette — founder of The Way Collective in Santa Barbara — to explore what it looks like to build a psychologically astute, contemplative Christianity for our fractured moment. We dig into the inner critic, anxiety, and how therapeutic practices like IFS, CBT, and acceptance and commitment therapy share a surprisingly deep resonance with contemplative traditions around the true self and nonviolence. Tim shares his own journey through panic attacks and cancer scares, and we trace how learning to attend to anxious thoughts — rather than fight or flee from them — might just be both good therapy and good spirituality. 

If you've ever wondered whether your therapist and your mystic are secretly after the same thing, this one's for you.

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this conversation, Ryan Burge joins me to explore the evolving landscape of religion in America, focusing on the concepts of “nones” and “dones”—those who identify as non-religious or have distanced themselves from organized religion—and how we see these concepts playing out across society.

Highlights

05:36 The State of American Christianity

11:29 The Impact of Partisanship on Religion

14:28 Self-Worth and Life Satisfaction in Religious Contexts

54:35 The Evolution of Gender Identity Awareness

01:08:51 Navigating the Complexities of Trans Issues

___________________________________________

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Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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This is it — the finale of our four-part series on C.S. Lewis's The Great Divorce, and Kristen Tideman and I go out with a bang.

We work through chapters 10-14, where Lewis's portrait of a controlling wife raises questions for us both. We also get into the lizard-turned-stallion scene, Lewis's theology of maternal love (I push back pretty hard), the soul-building argument for suffering, and a Sarah Smith moment I found a little too neat.

After the Patreon break, Kristen and I dig into the deeper theological mechanics Lewis is proposing about hell, free will, and post-mortem choice — and land on what I think is our central critique of the whole book: as a psychological metaphor, it's surprisingly rich, but as eschatology, it doesn't quite hold together.

___________________________________________

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Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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I invite previous guest Heather Patton Griffin back to the pod to discuss biblical counseling—but this time through the lens of AI. After our previous conversation about white evangelicalism's navigation system, I decided to test an AI biblical counseling app and share my findings with Heather. We unpacked what I'm calling "Bible facts"—authoritative claims that function as the foundation of biblical counseling—and examined the sincerity culture that makes the whole system feel so compelling to practitioners and clients alike. If you ever wanted to know what an AI biblical counselor sounds like, this episode’s for you.

Previous Episodes with Heather:

Church Trauma and Spiritual “Knowledge” (#317)

“Bible Truths,” “Sanctified Common Sense,” & “Evangelical Insta-Trust: (#123)

Highlights

05:47 Knowledge and Bible Facts in Evangelicalism

17:43 Critiques of Biblical Counseling Practices

19:36 Dan's Experiment with the AI App

35:22 The Connection Between Biblical Counseling and CBT

55:48 The Mind-Emotion Split in Counseling

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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