Friend of the pod Tripp Fuller joins me in full Dodgers gear (the audacity!) to discuss why the doctrine of original sin desperately needs a comeback—not the toxic version that told us we couldn't trust our own emotions or experiences, but a robust theological framework that actually explains the mess we're living in.

We unpack how the concept of original sin operates on three interconnected levels: individual, communal, and structural. We tear apart Augustine's outdated biology while rescuing his psychological insights, trace the snowball effect of violence from Cain's first murder through the Tower of Babel, and discover why progressive Christians who rail against systemic injustice are actually doing theology whether they realize it or not. 

Along the way, we somehow manage to argue about Sam Harris, the military-industrial complex, global capitalism, and whether America is an evil empire or just another flawed superpower trying not to blow up the world. 

If you've ever wondered why humans keep doing terrible things despite our best intentions, or why your evangelical upbringing left you allergic to the very doctrine that might actually help you understand structural oppression, this conversation is for you.

Come to Theology Beer Camp 2025

Listen to Homebrewed Christianity

___________________________________________

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Attention YHP Listeners: Starting in October, the podcast You Have Permission will change its name to Religion on the Mind. This rebrand will come with new artwork and focus more broadly on the overlap of Psychology, Religion & Spirituality. We look forward to telling you more in the coming days… stay tuned!

I sit down with previous guest Matt Naylor from the Milkless podcast to explore a disturbing pattern he discovered through a simple Google experiment: searching for public figures known for embracing violence and cruelty, then adding "father" to see what emerges. From Elon Musk to Joe Rogan to JD Vance, the batting average for abuse, abandonment, and alcoholism is striking. 

We dig into the neuroscience behind early childhood attachment, examining how those first six months of life literally wire our brains for how we perceive safety in the world. Matt shares research on rat mothers who groom their babies differently and how those early experiences shape everything from stress response to longevity—findings that translate directly to human development. We explore the unique roles fathers play in transmitting worldview and values, diving into attachment research that shows father-child relationships are particularly crucial for managing externalizing behaviors like aggression and rule-breaking. 

The conversation takes a personal turn as Matt reflects on his own family history and his determination to raise daughters who see the world as an enchanted place full of wonder rather than a threatening landscape requiring constant vigilance. The episode weaves together cutting-edge brain science, attachment theory, and deeply personal reflection on what it means to be a father in an increasingly polarized world.

Take It Offline Question: What things do you find that you feel in your body about the world that don't line up with the way you wish you felt about the world?

Milkless Podcast

Child-father attachment and behavior problems (NIH)

Christian Century interview with Vern Bengston about fathers and religious transmission to children

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In this week’s Top of Mind segment, I address the Charlie Kirk assassination through cognitive distortions, calling out the all-or-nothing thinking that's turning him into either a blessed martyr or democracy's destroyer when the reality is more nuanced. I also push back against the dangerous idea that speech equals violence, pointing out that Kirk's murder serves as a stark reminder that actual bullets—not words—constitute real violence.

For this week’s main episode, I’m going solo. I start by sharing how my own faith deconstruction included grappling with evolution. From questioning young earth creationism to eventually embracing evolutionary theory by my late twenties, and how evolution informs my therapeutic practice.

Then, I go into how psychology has fully embraced evolutionary explanations across five key areas: 

attachment theory (which appears across species and helped our ancestors survive through bonding), 

shame (as an evolved social conscience that keeps us aligned with group norms), 

sexual jealousy (as mate-guarding behavior found throughout the animal kingdom), 

anxiety (as an overactive alarm system that kept our ancestors alive through hypervigilance), and 

depression (as either energy conservation during adverse conditions or analytical rumination for solving complex problems.) 

These evolutionary frameworks help reduce client shame by showing that their struggles aren't personal defects but rather ancient survival systems that are now mismatched to our modern world.

In the Patreon-only portion, I dive deeper into attachment research with macaques, the neuroscience of shame and anxiety across species, mate-guarding behaviors from chimpanzees to humans, and two competing theories of depression—the hibernation model and analytical rumination hypothesis.

Episodes Mentioned:

Episode with Adrian Wyard | To Accept Theistic Evolution (#2)

To Trust Science (#28)

Evolution Myths & Long Lifespans in Genesis (#36)

Who’s Afraid of Evolutionary Psychology? (#47)

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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My fellow Beach Boys fan and returning guest David Zahl is back to discuss his provocative critique of self-optimization culture in his Plough Quarterly piece "Against Self-Optimization.” As someone who has maximized my morning routine to a science, I wrestle with my own efficiency obsession and David's argument that our machine-like language and relentless pursuit of becoming "optimized" versions of ourselves is fundamentally dehumanizing. 

We look at how Jesus wasn't particularly efficient, how the wellness industry monetizes our unhappiness, and whether there's a difference between optimization and ruthless efficiency.

Along the way, we touch on everything from Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger" to the theology of death, the loneliness epidemic, and why churches that function too seamlessly might actually be missing the point. 

David brings his characteristically poetic perspective to counter my more prose-like approach, creating a conversation that challenges both the Silicon Valley promise of endless self-improvement and the Christian concept of becoming our "ideal selves" — while somehow managing to work in references to Beach Boys, Radiohead, and why AI should do our laundry, not write our books.

David's Piece Against Optimization

David's Books

Songs Played:

Me Without You | "Red Cow & Dorothy"

Daft Punk | Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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I sit down with licensed therapist Emily Maynard—herself a product of Dobson-influenced parenting—to unpack what I'm calling one of the most consequential psychological disasters of the last fifty years. While James Dobson's death a few weeks ago has evangelicals reflecting on his legacy, Emily and I dig into the wreckage his teachings left in therapy offices across America. 

We explore how his "loving discipline" and will-breaking methods created attachment wounds, spiritual abuse, and shame cycles that adults are still untangling decades later—and why parents who would never have hit their children became convinced it was the most loving thing they could do. 

Emily brings both clinical expertise and personal experience to bear on questions that hit close to home: How do you heal from authoritarian parenting that was sold as godly love? What happens when the very people meant to be your safe harbor become sources of fear? And perhaps most importantly—what do we carry forward, and what do we finally have permission to leave behind?

Emily's Website | ⁠Emilymaynardtherapy.com⁠

Emily's Instagram | ⁠@Emilymaynardlmft⁠

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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He’s out from behind the green curtain! In this episode, my guest is none other than my producer and audio/editor wizard, Josh Gilbert. Josh spends about 23 hours per week listening to conversations on religion, psychology, and deconstruction. He joins me to tell how this work has fundamentally changed his worldview and sense of self.

For Josh, this immersive listening experience has made it nearly impossible for him to be surprised by new ideas and has pushed him towards comedy and entertainment for palette cleansing. He tells the story of attending both Black Lives Matter protests and police ride-alongs, and shares how listening has transformed his capacity for empathy and given him the ability to see multiple perspectives.

We dive into the psychology of repetition, the nature of intellectual humility, and how Josh's journey through religious scrupulosity and OCD diagnosis has intersected with his unique vantage point as someone who absorbs thousands of hours of other people's spiritual and psychological processing—without being able to contribute his own voice to the conversation.

In the Patron-only portion, we wrestle with the deeper questions of religious belief—Josh arguing that we inevitably construct our beliefs from our experiences rather than discovering objective truth, while I explore whether there's a defensible middle path where following Jesus's teachings remains worthwhile even if I'm entirely wrong about the metaphysical claims of Christianity.

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

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In this week’s episode of You Have Permission, I sit down with Dr. Richard B. Miller, Professor Emeritus from the University of Chicago Divinity School, to tackle his blunt question (and the title of his book): Why Study Religion? 

What starts as a defense against critics like Sam Harris—who'd rather we just stick to the "straight dope" of science—quickly spirals into something much more provocative: religion as the ultimate training ground for navigating our hypermediated, pluralistic world where we're drowning in conflicting authorities and information overload. Miller argues that religious studies isn't just academic navel-gazing but a crucial skill-building exercise in what he calls "post-critical reasoning," teaching us to hold multiple worldviews in tension without falling into either fundamentalist certainty or relativistic paralysis. 

We discuss why the secularization hypothesis got it wrong, how contemplative traditions across religions offer surprising resources for the ecological crisis, and why understanding the religious "wackadoodles" (my term, not his) might be the key to actually changing minds rather than just preaching to the choir. 

By the end, I'm wrestling with my own biases about expanding this podcast beyond Christianity, and you'll be questioning whether your discomfort with religion says more about the world's problems or your own assumptions about how to solve them.

Richard's Book | Why Religion Matters?

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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Last week I hosted a live Q&A session for our Patrons—one of the perks that comes with a YHP Patreon membership (now on sale for 42% off an annual subscription with code BIRTHDAY). 

We spent a good portion of the time talking about the concept of “audience capture” and this podcast in particular, and whether I've been shaped by what my listeners want to hear rather than staying true to my own interests and convictions. I admit I might be constitutionally allergic to giving people what they want and may be too resistant to audience preferences rather than captured by them—while another member suggests that my contrarian nature might itself be a form of audience capture!

Other questions come up about the experience of hosting a podcast— how I handle criticism, my defensive tendency to avoid listening to podcasters who do what I want to do better than me, and the raw envy I feel when I see smaller podcasts outperforming mine. We also get into the Internal Family Systems modality of therapy, which sparked a rich discussion about this approach to understanding different "parts" of ourselves.

In the Patreon-only portion, we continue the IFS discussion with input from trained therapists, discuss the challenges and benefits of having podcast listeners as therapy clients (including awkward moments when they look me up!), and field questions about work-life balance, religious traditions, and personal experiences with various therapy modalities.

Thanks to all of you who came… and hope to see the rest of you soon!

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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It’s the last week of my 42nd birthday sale! Become an Annual Member of my Patreon now for just around $4 a month. 

Also, I'm now taking therapy clients in Washington State and coaching clients nationwide, specializing in religious transitions and life changes that intersect with faith journeys. More info here.

In this week’s “Top of Mind” segment, I reflect on the legacy of Dr. James Dobson, a prominent figure in evangelical psychology and parenting advice; highlighting some things Dobson got right, as well as areas where his teachings have caused great harm. I discuss Dobson's influence on conservative Christian views, critique some of his psychological perspectives, and evaluate the accuracy of his claims and evaluate the accuracy of his claims regarding queer sexuality, “secular humanism” in modern psychology, and his most influential area: parenting and discipline.

In today’s main interview (beginning around min 33), comedian Jeremy Alder is here to discuss his journey from fundamentalist homeschooling in Texas to stand-up comedy. Jeremy brings sharp wit and genuine theological insight as we trace his path from a prosperity gospel upbringing through youth group dropout years, then back to faith via Augustine's Confessions and Reformed University Fellowship at UT Austin. 

Now, Jeremy blends Eastern Orthodox spirituality with liberation theology while creating his "Christians That Don't Suck" video series that highlights radical Christian figures fighting against what he calls "Confederate fascist Christianity." 

We explore how his philosophy and religion background shaped both his comedy and his current pursuit of a degree to work with religious trauma survivors, the practical realities of changing careers in your forties with five kids, and making the leap into creative work that challenges both conservative Christians and secular audiences.

Jeremy's Website | Jeremyalder.com

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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My 42nd birthday sale is LIVE! Join as an Annual Member of my Patreon to get 42% off through September 1 and enjoy ad-free access to Patron-exclusive content like this!

In today’s bonus episode, team member Joy Vetterlein and I tackle what might be the most commonly given piece of marriage advice at wedding receptions: "don't go to bed angry." 

After seeing comedian Leanne Morgan flip this conventional wisdom on its head during a Colbert appearance, we dive into why this advice became so popular in mid-20th century America through the "infection model" of marital conflict, explore what modern neuroscience tells us about arguing while dysregulated (hint: your prefrontal cortex isn't working very well at a 7+ on the anger scale), and discover that the original biblical verse this advice comes from had absolutely nothing to do with marriage. I share my practical "rule of sevens" for knowing when to table an argument, and confess to being the type of person who will hijack wedding videographers to give counter-programming relationship advice.

In the Patreon portion, Joy and I get personal about our own marriages, including her revelation about needing to give herself permission to consider divorce in order to truly choose her marriage, and we explore a 7th-century monk's surprisingly modern insights about anger as spiritual energy.

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

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