The concept of love languages is tossed around on social media frequently, and has permeated western culture - but to what cost? In this episode, host Sarah Stancombe is joined by expert Steven Ing, MFT to discuss better ways of understanding intimacy and communication.

Steven Ing, MFT has 30 years of experience as a Marriage and Family Therapist, and helps people figure out how they can have healthy sexuality and intimacy. He has literally written the book on human sexual needs, We’re All Like This, used in university-level human sexuality classes. His books, articles, and public presentations create conversations about human sexuality that are safe...but not too safe. Steven Ing, MFT's insights have led to a humane take on our beautiful human sexuality and how all the rest of us can have ridiculously happy lives and sex lives too! Steven Ing, MFT is the creator and host of the true crime podcast, Sex Crime Central. He is also a contributor to Huffington Post, The Advocate, SheKnows.com, The Rage Monthly, Psychology today, and Gannett newspapers. A published author, TEDx Talk presenter (called “What’s Your Magic Sex Number?”), and a podcast guest who talks about sexuality in a way that won't embarrass you. Steven Ing, MFT is reframing an important conversation in society — one about the intelligent management of human sexuality.

In this episode, Steven Ing, MFT dispels the myth that love languages are good for a relationship. They may in fact make one or both people feel trapped, or unable to express their love freely. The book published on love languages that promoted the now popular concept is not based in reality, and the author had no scientific background. Instead, humans should be free to express their love freely, as it is such a fluid experience. 

Together, Sarah and Steven Ing, MFT discover the idea of managing sexuality intelligently - something that is essential to living a blissful life, rather than a catastrophic one. Sadly this is not taught widely enough, even though it affects every single human being. 

View Steven Ing, MFT’s work on his website: stevening.com 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

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In this episode of Reloscope, host Sarah Stancombe is joined by expert Sheila Kohler to discuss love languages and how cultures and time change how people view their relationship and experience love. 

Sheila Kohler is the author of eleven novels, three collections of short stories and a memoir. Her work has been translated widely abroad and has been awarded many prizes including the O. Henry twice. She has taught creative writing at Princeton since 2007. She was a fellow at the Lewis B. Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers and a frequent visiting writer at the American Academy of Rome. She is writer in residence at the American Library in 2025. Her novel, “Cracks” has been filmed with Jordan Scott and Ridley Scott as directors and was recently reissued by Open Road. Open Road will republish six of her early novels in 2025.

In this episode, Sheila Kohler tells some fascinating stories of her life experiences that illustrate how other people live and love together. Cultures are a big part in how people express love to their friends and family - what is acceptable may different vastly from culture to culture. Sheila Kohler also explains the two different types of love - one where you project what you romantically desire onto someone you barely know, and the other - getting to know someone deeply in a relationship, seeing their perspective on life, and having empathy for them.

Together, Sarah and Sheila Kohler discover how people can better communicate during quarrels. Remember that many quarrels occur over trivial things. Do your best to communicate why you are experiencing a strong reaction to something, and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Sheila Kohler suggests roleplaying the quarrel as the other person, together. It will probably make you laugh, and provide an understanding of where the other person is coming from. 

Visit Sheila Kohler’s work via the following links:

Books mentioned in the episode, available on Amazon: 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

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In this episode of Reloscope we tackle the topic of jealousy from a psychological standpoint. It is something that everyone probably experiences at some stage in life, but that some people may need to manage more intentionally than others. Expert Mary Lamia, Ph.D. joins host Sarah Stancombe to discuss everything from triggers to real world examples of couples working through jealousy.

Mary Lamia, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, and professor, who works with adults, couples, adolescents, and preteens in the San Francisco Bay Area. Extending psychological knowledge to the public has been her endeavor for many years. Her opinion has been sought in hundreds of television, radio, and print media interviews and discussions, and for nearly a decade she hosted a weekly call-in talk show, KidTalk with Dr. Mary, on Radio Disney stations. She is a frequent media commentator, and blogs for Psychology Today and Thrive Global. She is an author and co-author, with six books of her own.

In this episode, Mary Lamia, Ph.D. explains how many emotions are an evolutionary way of our mind protecting itself. She also describes the impact of shame, and how while it can present learning opportunities, it is often responded to in a defensive manner (which of course, is completely normal, and very human). Importantly, Mary Lamia, Ph.D. explains that jealousy in a relationship is born out of a rupture of interest, and most commonly a devaluation of self felt by one party. 

Together, Sarah and Mary Lamia, Ph.D. discuss triggers and whether or not we should communicate them with others. It can be hard to continue a conversation if one party has been triggered by something that has been said. However, by opening the conversation up about the strong feeling that has been activated, progress can be made.

Visit Mary Lamia, Ph.D.’s work on the following platforms:

View her books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com.au/stores/author/B001UES5SO 

Connect with Mary Lamia, Ph.D. via LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-lamia-ph-d-4582b97/ 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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Some are anxious, some are avoidant but in the end, everyone wants to have a secure attachment and a healthy relationship. This week on Reloscope: The Relationships Science Insights Podcast, host Sabrina Oktavelia consults clinical psychologist Phoebe Rogers in understanding attachment styles in romantic relationships.

Phoebe Rogers is an experienced Clinical Psychologist with a Master of Psychology (Clinical) from the University of Wollongong and a Graduate Diploma in Relationship Counselling. Specializing in CBT, ACT, and Schema Therapy, they work with individuals, couples, and families to navigate emotional challenges and create healthier relationship dynamics. After seeking a relationship coach for their own struggles, they discovered the transformative impact of Schema Therapy—an approach they now use to help others find love and fulfillment.

In this episode, Phoebe Rogers sheds light on the reason behind the prominence of healthy attachment styles in successful relationships. Additionally, she delves into the effect of upbringing, dysregulated nervous systems and internal thoughts in the development of insecure attachment and the ways to unlearn those insecure attachments. 

Together, Sabrina and Phoebe Rogers explore the various practices couples can incorporate into their daily lives, and discuss the habits to unlearn insecure attachment. So, tune in this week for an insightful episode teeming with expert advice on attaining a healthy attachment for your relationship!

Visit Phoebe Roger’s work:

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

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Intimacy doesn’t retire—it evolves. This week on Reloscope: The Relationships Science Insights Podcast, host Marie Stella consults psychology researcher Ashley Macleod on the various ways in which sexual intimacy evolves with age, contrary to popular belief.

With a robust background in health research and service improvement, Ashley Macleod has a passion for promoting social understanding through data-driven insights. Through her background in psychology, as well as her fervor for making knowledge accessible for all and recognizing the value in everyone’s unique experiences, Ashley Macleod has fortified her reputation as a strong advocate for others. Her research has involved health equity, sexuality throughout the lifespan, residential aged care, and more.

In this episode, Ashley Macleod reveals that, as most individuals age, they grow more familiar with their sexual likes and dislikes, rendering more fulfilling connections on both an emotional and sexual level. To add, she sheds light on the various tools and solutions available for those with limited physical capabilities, be it mobility restrictions, skin fragility or pregnancy.

Together, Marie and Ashley Macleod uncover a range of habits that offer support in maintaining sexual intimacy with age. So, whether you’re approaching your silver years or simply curious about the practicalities of your future romantic ventures, tune in for valuable perspectives and expert advice on embracing sexuality at every stage of life!

Visit Ashley Macleod’s work on the following platforms:

ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0002-4694-1768

The OASIS: https://www.facebook.com/TheOASISprojects/

Connect with Ashley Macleod via LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashmacleodphd/

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

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Whether it’s an inside joke or an evening tradition, rituals reinforce shared meaning between couples. This week on Reloscope: The Relationship Science Insights Podcast, host Marie Stella consults couples therapist Zach Brittle, LMCH how rituals and shared meaning make or break a relationship.

Based in Seattle, Washington, Zach Brittle, LMCH is a Certified Gottman Therapist and Certified Relational Life Therapist. The best-selling author of The Relationship Alphabet, as well as the Marriage Therapy Journal, Zach Brittle, LMCH’s writings and ideas have graced the pages of media outlets by the likes of Men’s Health and the Washington Post. Currently, Zach Brittle, LMCH hosts a relationships podcast, Marriage Therapy Radio.

In this episode, Zach Brittle, LMCH sheds light on the reason behind the prominence of shared meaning in successful relationships. Additionally, he distinguishes couple routines from rituals, emphasizing on the importance of both recurring activities in a relationship.

Together, Marie and Zach Brittle, LMCH canvass the various ways in which couples can easily incorporate rituals into their daily lives, and discuss opportune times to reassess such rituals. So, tune in this week for an insightful episode teeming with expert advice on rejuvenating your relationship with shared meaning and rituals!

Visit Zach Brittle, LMCH’s work:

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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Ever wondered how a simple swipe turns into a potentially life-changing connection? This week on Reloscope: The Relationship Science Insights Podcast, host Marie Stella interviews licensed marriage and family therapist Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD on what flirting looks like in the digital age.

Aside from her therapy practice, Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD is a PhD candidate in clinical sexology, mental health advocate, and the author of numerous therapeutic books. With a passion for destigmatizing mental health issues, Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD has not only shared her expertise in family therapy and mental wellness on a slew of major media networks, but has also founded non-profit organization I Care We All Care. 

In this episode, Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD delves into how digital flirting has transformed through the years, from the classic ‘poking’ on Facebook, to the more recent phenomenon of ‘sliding into [one’s] direct messages’ or liking someone’s Instagram story. But that aside, Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD reveals the downsides of technology in courtship, such as the blurring of boundaries and gray areas.

Together, Marie and Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD discuss some useful flirting etiquette guidelines and how they apply to online mediums. So, tune in this week for an enlightening episode on what to do and avoid on your digital flirting endeavors!

Visit Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, PhD’s work on the following platforms:

Connect with Anna Elton via Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annalmft/ 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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Some take mere weeks to move on from a breakup, while others take years, but one thing is certain: getting over a past love is never easy. This week on Reloscope: The Relationships Science Insights Podcast, host Lu Ngo interviews divorce coach Sallyanne Hartnell on what it takes to find closure and acceptance after a relationship ends.

As a multi-award-nominated divorce coach and strategist, Sallyanne Hartnell supports clients through every stage of a relationship transition, from separation to divorce and beyond. With a balance of nurturing emotional support and objective, practical guidance, Sallyanne empowers her clients to manage intense emotions and make grounded, well-considered decisions.

In this episode, Sallyanne highlights that, while our partner should not be expected to fulfill all of our needs, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship if our non-negotiable needs are not being met, our personal values are diminished, or our boundaries are repeatedly crossed.

Together, Lu and Sallyanne weigh up habits that may prove effective in finding acceptance post-relationship. So, tune in this week to learn how to close one chapter and open the next with confidence and clarity!

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Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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Are you tired of swiping left and right with no real connection? So are we. This week on Reloscope: The Relationship Science Insights Podcast, host Lu Ngo consults dating coach Karina Chapman on the principles of conscious dating and why it matters for authentic connection.

Based in Adelaide, South Australia, Karina Chapman is a natural storyteller and facilitator with a background in the business, education and communication industries. With a passion for connecting with people, Karina believes that we are all connected, and has developed a method of connection dubbed the ‘Conscious Connection’ that helps individuals connect with any type of person they’d like to attract, whether it’s clients and employees for their business, friends, or the romantic partner of their dreams.

In this episode, Karina Chapman reveals that she views conscious dating as a deliberate journey of dating, outlining the various aspects of conscious dating and how they contribute to attaining authentic connections. Additionally, she sheds light on her background in hairdressing and education, and how those roles highlighted the power of making authentic connections with people.

Together, Lu and Karina Chapman exchange personal anecdotes of their dating experiences, and discuss useful habits that will be sure to support individuals in their conscious dating journeys. So, whether you’re single, dating, or simply curious about building deeper relationships, tune in to this episode for insights on transforming the way you approach love and connection!

Visit Karina Chapman’s work: https://karinachapman.com/ 

Connect with Karina Chapman via LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karina-chapman-6a48b19/ 

Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

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It is rather enigmatic, how we tend to feel intensely drawn to some people, while others leave us with nothing but a strong desire to walk away. So, this week on Reloscope: The Relationship Science Insights Podcast, host Marie Stella consults social and personality psychologist Dylan Selterman.

An associate professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at John Hopkins University,  teaches courses on social attraction, the psychology of happiness, and introductory psychology. Additionally, he studies romantic attraction and dating, patterns of dreaming, psychological well-being, morals, ethics, and political psychology. On top of that, Dylan Selterman has published original research in numerous journals, from Social Psychological and Personality Science, to The Journal of Sex Research. He also has a monthly column, The Resistance Hypothesis, and a podcast called A Bit More Complicated, to his name.

In this episode, Dylan Selterman starts by sharing his definition of attraction, and elaborating on both internal and external factors that influence attraction. He reveals that while personality traits play a role in attraction and forming relationships, it’s not quite in the manner most people assume it to be.

Together, Marie and Dylan Selterman touch on concepts like ‘opposites attract’ and the halo effect, and weigh up activities and exercises that may prove useful in maintaining attraction in long-term relationships. So, tune in this week for an episode chock full of attractive insights!

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Produced by the Relationship Science Labs, a division of LMSL, the Life Management Science Labs. 

Explore LMSL at https://lifemanagementsciencelabs.com/ and visit http://re.lmsl.net/ for additional information about Relationship Science Labs.

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