What if the acceptance you've been waiting for never comes?
In the last episode, I talked about what it means to let someone misunderstand you without abandoning yourself trying to make them understand.
But there's another question underneath that one:
What if they never do?
What if someone you love never fully understands your choices or becomes capable of giving you the kind of acceptance you've wanted from them?
In this episode of Remember Who You Are, I'm thinking about the grief that can come with accepting people and relationships as they actually are, rather than continuing to hold onto who we hope they might eventually become.
Because acceptance doesn't always feel peaceful.
Sometimes acceptance means acknowledging that you deeply wish something were different while also being willing to see what is true right now.
And that can hurt.
But seeing a relationship clearly also gives us something that hope and potential sometimes can't:
Choice.
We can decide how we want to participate in the relationship that's actually in front of us instead of continuing to wait for another version of it to arrive.
In this episode:
• Why acceptance can sometimes feel more like grief than peace
• Grieving a relationship with someone who is still in your life
• The difference between accepting someone and excusing their behavior
• What happens when we keep relating to someone's potential instead of who they are today
• Why someone's best can be sincere and still not be what we need
• Allowing ourselves to wish a relationship were different while accepting what it actually is
• What becomes possible when we stop waiting for someone else to change
Maybe acceptance isn't saying:
"I don't wish this were different."
Maybe it's being able to say:
"I wish this were different. And I'm no longer going to pretend that wishing makes it so."
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