More than 20 rejections. Not one acceptance. And somehow, the hardest part is not the “no” itself; it is the shame that tries to make you whisper about it.

I’m Alexandria, and I’m sharing the part of the story we usually skip: not getting into law school after going all in. I walk through the law school application process from the inside, what it’s like to study for the LSAT as a wife and mom of four, and why a single score can start to feel like a judgment on your entire life. We talk about rejection as dismissal, the kind that feels personal even when it isn’t, and how “holistic review” can still come with an unspoken floor.

We also zoom out, because this is not only about law school. It’s about the patterns rejection exposes: choosing the safe route, talking ourselves out of hard things, and avoiding critique because we’re terrified of finding out we’re not naturally great. I share what actually helped me grow, including the simple but brutal practice of tracking mistakes, learning from them, and watching competence build in real time.

Then we land in the messy middle, where the renovation is happening but the finished room isn’t visible yet. If you’re in a fresh disappointment after a layoff, a closed door, or a goal that did not work out, I hope this gives you language, permission, and a next step. If it resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find Renovating the Soul.

Mentioned in this episode:

Dangerous Daughters, Alexandria's speaking appearance on YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWlVl9sQ4Pc  

A resource for tracking law school acceptance data by LSAT score range: LSD.law

The In Bloom Conference (shoutout to Shawni Davis): https://www.instagram.com/inbloomconf/ 

Have a story to share? If you've been through a rejection you haven't talked about yet, or you're on the other side of one and want to pass along some encouragement, Alexandria wants to hear from you directly. Email her at [email protected] or find her on social media @renovatingthesoulpod and send her a message.

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📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

Alexandria comes back to the mic for Season 3 with something she hasn't fully said yet: the last year was hard, and she's still in the very messy middle of it:

You can be hurting and still not be lost. That’s the line we keep coming back to as I tell the truth about a year that did not go to plan: leaving ministry and watching friendships go silent, losing my job, applying and hearing nothing back, getting rejected from schools after putting in the work, then landing in a role I didn’t expect again, a stay-at-home mom of four boys, staring at the sink and wondering what comes next. 

What changed wasn’t a sudden “happy ending”. It was one question that stopped the spiral: what if I’m not lost at all? From there, we talk about reframing, not as denial, but as a grounded mental health practice. I share how shame and self-blame creep in when you treat a brutal job market, competitive admissions, or other people’s choices as a verdict on your worth, and how naming the grief of lost community helps you stop carrying what was never yours. 

We also get practical with a framework I love: investigating and interrogating your emotions. Think of it as emotional inspection and deeper questioning. The spider analogy makes it simple: the fear is real, but the interpretation may be wrong. When you balance emotion with reason, emotions become data, not a sentence you hand to yourself. 

If you’re in a life transition, the renovation metaphor will land: a gutted house looks like failure without context, but mid-demo is often where the real work begins. Subscribe to Renovating the Soul, share this with someone in the messy middle, and leave a review with the question you’re choosing to ask yourself next.

Important Note! Instead of the Roots episode, this episode below is actually the next best resource to check out! ⬇️⬇️

For more on emotions and how to understand what they're actually telling you, check out Broken Souls, Broken Bodies: When Emotional Pain Becomes Physical | Ep. 13

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Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

The ground can feel solid—until it isn’t. When mass layoffs hit the federal government, I lost the job I’d poured nearly five years into, right after earning my warrant and hitting a career stride that finally felt like mine. What followed wasn’t just a scramble for the next paycheck; it was a full-body pause to ask what kind of life I actually wanted to build. I walk through the shock, the one-week ultimatum, the grief over benefits and community, and the subtle ways “security” can keep you from the work your soul keeps whispering about.

I share why I didn’t jump into another role, how endless scrolling on LinkedIn clarified what I wouldn’t do again, and the decision to chase a path I’ve wanted since I was young: returning to school. That choice meant facing a dreaded standardized test, buying the prep course, and admitting I couldn’t do it all at once. So I let the podcast breathe—not because it stopped mattering, but because foundations come first. We talk about capacity, identity, and the discipline of choosing one lever that makes everything else easier later. Along the way, you’ll hear about the human side of public service, the truth about change inside big systems, and the quiet power of a back catalog still serving new listeners.

Most of all, this is a story about turning endings into beginnings—about gratitude arriving after anger, about discomfort becoming a daily practice, and about letting my kids see me start again with purpose. If you’ve ever been laid off, felt stuck at a “safe” job, or wondered how to navigate a major pivot with family, faith, and focus intact, you’ll find tools and encouragement here. Press play, then tell me: if security wasn’t the goal, what would you build next? Subscribe, share this with someone in a pivot, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—we read every one.

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Support the show

Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

Have you ever refreshed your social media feed obsessively after posting something meaningful—as if your soul was waiting for permission to believe in itself?

You’re not alone.

This deeply personal exploration pulls back the curtain on how we’re slowly losing ourselves in the pursuit of visibility, engagement, and validation.

What began as simple research into why we crave viral moments turned into something far more vulnerable. Social media hasn’t just changed how we communicate—it’s fundamentally altered how we value ourselves.
We’ve created a world where performance masquerades as purpose, where metrics define our worth, and where we’re constantly asking:
“Am I showing up as myself—or the version I think people want to see?”

This isn’t just about being online too much.
 It’s about the quiet collapse of the soul—when visibility replaces validation, when presence is traded for performance, and when real connection is sacrificed for reach.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why visibility became our proof of worth
• The difference between being seen and being known
• The trap of engagement metrics and algorithm-driven identity
• The loneliness of being “connected” but never truly held
• What it takes to reclaim your real voice, values, and presence

Because being visible doesn’t equal being valuable. And going viral doesn’t mean you’ve been seen.

This episode is not content strategy—it’s a rescue mission for the soul.

So put down your phone. Look your people in the eye.
Say “I love you” with presence instead of emoji hearts.
Ask “how’s your soul?” instead of “did you see my post?”

Your authenticity is still in there. And it’s worth more than all the likes in the world.

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Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

For a long time, I thought I needed closure to move on. I thought I needed that one final conversation, the apology, the explanation, the moment that would tie it all together and make it make sense.

But what I’ve learned is that closure doesn’t always come. And even when it does… it doesn’t always heal.

In this episode, I’m sharing the hard truths about closure—the ways we chase it, the reasons we cling to it, and the power we give away while waiting for it. Whether it’s a relationship, a friendship, or something you’ve been holding onto for years, I want to help you see that healing is still possible… even without a final word.

We’ll talk about:

• Why closure is more about us than the other person
• The difference between closure and clarity
• And why your healing doesn’t have to wait for someone else’s words and/or actions

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the in-between—hoping for something that may never come—this episode is for you.

What if you’re not stuck because of what they didn’t say…but because you haven’t stopped hoping they will?

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Support the show

Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

We all want real, deep, meaningful friendships—but do we actually know what that looks like?

Friendship isn’t just about funny memes, shared interests, or convenient connections—it’s about loyalty, depth, and showing up when it matters. So why do so many of us struggle to find real, lasting friendships?

In this episode, we’re challenging everything you thought you knew about friendship, including:

• Why modern culture has redefined friendship—and not for the better.
• The hard truth about why making friends as an adult feels impossible.
• What history, philosophy, and psychology reveal about deep, meaningful connection.
• The difference between true friendships and surface-level bonds—and why both matter.
• How to stop settling for transactional relationships and build friendships that actually last.

If you’ve ever wondered why friendship feels so complicated, or why you keep outgrowing people, this episode is for you. 

It’s time to rethink, redefine, and rebuild the friendships you truly deserve.

Listen now and learn what it really means to be—and have—a true friend.

References: 

• Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy - Entry on Friendship
• "How To Be a Friend" by Marcus Tullius Cicero

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Support the show

Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

"Family is family."

We’ve been told this our whole lives—that no matter what they’ve done, how they treat us, or how much pain they cause—we owe them: loyalty, forgiveness, and endless chances.

But let’s be real—blood alone doesn’t make someone family.

In this episode, we’re stripping away the lies we’ve been conditioned to believe. We’re confronting the guilt, the obligation, and the fear of walking away from relationships that do nothing but drain us. We’re exposing the romanticized version of family that keeps us holding on, waiting, hoping, convincing ourselves they'll change.

But what if they never do?

What if the love, safety, and support you’ve been waiting for isn’t tied to DNA—but to the people who actually show up for you?

This is about breaking cycles of generational harm and rejecting the idea that we have to stay tied to people just because we share a bloodline. It’s about giving yourself permission to choose your family—the people who love you without conditions.

• ​We’re tearing down the guilt.
• ​We’re rebuilding with truth.
• ​And we’re creating space for relationships that actually nourish us.

So, let’s talk about it. Let’s challenge what we’ve been taught and start defining family on our own terms.

If this episode shakes something in you, share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Because you don’t owe anyone a place in your life just because of blood. And that truth? Might just set you free.

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Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

Let’s face it—if you’re feeling stuck, there’s a good chance that someone in your life is either enabling your behavior or you’re enabling someone else. 

You might not see it at first, but enabling keeps both sides trapped in a cycle of dependency and avoidance.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on how enabling works—whether you’re the one enabling someone’s bad habits or the one being held back from growth. 

This episode isn't just about the enablers around you—it's about the one you might be becoming, too. 

It’s time to call out the well-meaning, but toxic, behaviors that keep people stuck in a loop of fear, guilt, and complacency.

For the enabler, it’s time to stop rescuing, stop making excuses, and start empowering others to stand on their own two feet. 

For the one being enabled, it’s time to stop relying on others to solve your problems and start owning your own growth. 

We’re diving deep into how to break the cycle from both sides, strip away the lies, and finally take responsibility for your own life.

This episode isn’t about blame—it’s about breaking free from a pattern that’s keeping you from becoming who you’re meant to be. If you’re ready to confront the hard truths and rebuild something stronger, this is your wake-up call.

Listen. Reflect. Break the cycle. It’s time to stop being held back by others—and to stop holding others back. 

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Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

For too long, the church has sheltered predators and silenced survivors. Behind pulpits, under the banner of faith, spiritual abusers have twisted scripture into a weapon, demanded loyalty over truth, and convinced people that obedience to them is obedience to God. 

In this episode, we expose how predators hide in plain sight, why the church protects them, and what it costs to break free. If you've ever experienced spiritual abuse in the church, felt trapped by religious trauma, or been made to believe that leaving a toxic church meant leaving God, you're not crazy. And you're not alone. 

Jesus flipped tables over religious corruption. Maybe it's time we start flipping some tables too.

Listen now. And if this episode shakes something in you...maybe it's time to start asking the hard questions. 

Resources:

• The Subtle Signs of Spiritual Abuse
• Churches that Abuse

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Support the show

Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.

Your roots, what you believe, what you've been taught, what you've absorbed without ever questioning—are what make you who you are. The hard truth? If you don't dig deep and confront what's buried beneath the surface, you'll never be able to grow beyond your past. In this raw, unapologetic episode of Renovating the Soul, we pull back the layers and expose the uncomfortable truths hiding in your roots.

What beliefs are you holding onto simply because they’ve always been there? What stories have you accepted that aren’t even yours? It’s time to stop pretending they’re harmless. The stories we inherit, the patterns we repeat, and the lies we’ve swallowed shape every part of our lives—our decisions, our relationships, our happiness.

This season is about stripping it all down, challenging the narratives that keep you stuck, and rebuilding from the ground up. You can’t evolve until you address the mess beneath you. But here's the kicker: you have to be willing to face it.

In this episode, we’ll help you:

Recognize the hidden influences that shape your beliefs—family, culture, past trauma.

Confront the surface-level ideals you’ve been holding onto, and why they’re stopping you from growing.

Understand how your roots—good or bad—hold the power to either anchor you or keep you stagnant.

This is your wake-up call. It's time to confront the mess beneath your surface, dig up the beliefs that don’t serve you, and rebuild stronger. Are you ready to face what's been hiding?

If you're serious about breaking free and rebuilding, don't skip this one.

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Subscribe and let’s continue the work of Renovating the Soul, one tough conversation at a time.

📢 Join the Conversation: Find me on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok—@renovatingthesoulpod—and drop your thoughts under the episode post. Let's unpack this together.

📩 Get in Touch: Have a thought, question, or story you'd like to share? Email me at [email protected] — I'd love to hear from you. 

✍️ Leave a Review: If this show means something to you, leaving a review goes a long way in helping others find it. It takes two minutes and makes a real difference.

🌐 More Resources: For more episodes and ways to connect, visit renovatingthesoul.com.