As usual, we start our conversation in one direction, land in another, then it all circles back! Today we explore some of the drivers of resentment like low self-worth, then question if self-esteem is necessary first to drive behavior change when behavior change seems to increase self-esteem and reduce things like resentment. Sound confusing and ironic? It is! Let's explore... We start our discussion today talking about resentment- what is it? Where does it come from? In general, we've found that it stems from a lack of resolution of an old issue...we discuss how easy it is to slip into resentment when we aren't practicing honesty and are driven by a lack of self-worth or fear of abandonment- it's so much easier to blame the world than it is to identify the work that WE need to do to break free from the misery. Living in resentment, people-pleasing, avoidance, self-sabotage, seeking toxic relationships, blaming...all these old behaviors keep us stuck in the stories we tell ourselves...we have to learn how to practice new principles to build self-esteem. The irony seems to be that doing estimable things is hard to do without self-esteem, however, we've found that this issue can be overridden with a few things like support, trust, and baby steps. Once we're desperate enough to try recovery, we engage in a program that has a healthy support group- then we can be honest without being abandoned, we see people who have the qualities that we want for ourselves, and we trust that they'll guide us in the right direction. With time and practice, these positive behaviors increase our sense of self-worth and we learn how to do good things for OURSELVES not just for external validation. This breaks us free from the negative stories and patterns that used to define us and kept us stuck...Welcome to freedom!

Tool References: Resentment Amplifier (Toolkit 3), Resentment Resolution (Toolkit 3), Blame (Toolkit 2), and the Learnable Skills section (Toolkit 1): Honesty, Communication, and Service