Transcript (Episode 1: My First Friendship)
Arz kiya hai,
Bars beet gaye, tumhe khat likhte likhte…
Daur naya hai to kuch kehne ko jee karta hai…
Hello and Welcome to the very first episode of Reservoir, ofLostEmotions
First of all, thanks to all my friends who kept reading me last year and reciprocated with the warmth of their likes and comments regularly.
It wasn’t easy for me to open up chapters of my life to you, but your support has helped me break those barriers, and now I feel that
Khayal mehfooz hai mere, tumhari qaid me rahkar
Aazadi ka kya bharosa, nai aag sulga de…
So in the realm of your thoughts, today all I wish is to re-introduce some of the lost emotions.
Some of you told me that, my writings are heavy on love and broken promises but today, I want to touch upon something special, friendship.
So, can you put a bit of warmth on your regularly rusted mind and remember your first friend? yes no? Okay, a bit difficult right?
But for me, it’s crystal clear, not because I have a strong memory but because of the warmth she gave me as a kid.
A 5-year-old mostly doesn’t know any real meaning of friendship, but when your days start with her glimpse, your hands itch to hold her in your arms you know it’s something special.
I fondly remember running away from my UKG class as soon as the bell used to ring, and asking my landlord if I could play with her on the lawn.
I don’t know what she used to do the whole day, but the moment she saw me, a bliss would cross her dark eyes, and she would latch on every single opportunity to entice the young kid.
I didn’t know any definition of beauty but her enticing looks were something that captivated my young mind.
Even though she mostly used to wear a saffron dress, I would simply call her Pinky. Maybe I didn’t know the colors at that time, but neither did she.
My landlord Bhadoria uncle was a very strict man ( or a very disciplined man I say) and trusting a naughty Bihari boy with the apple of his eye, would be the last thing he could do on the earth. But still, he did allow me to be playful with her.
Wo hawa ki tarah, ird gird mere ghumti…
Aur main nasamjh uski harkaton me isq dhundh leta…
Wo kehti kuch nahi, bezubaan thi shayad…
Par nasamjhi ki had thi ki main sab kuch samajh leta…
One day while playing on the lawn a pig with her countless kids entered there, I was taken aback by seeing the flux of infiltrators in our play area but she was not only beautiful but brave, she fought endlessly with them.
That was the first time I saw a fierce look on her face hidden beneath her warm heart. But that wasn’t the last time.
Sadly the she-dog Pinky, in the fight with the group bit one of the piglets fatally. I was stunned seeing blood everywhere, but more surprising for me was the reaction of Elders, especially Bhadoria's uncle.
“She has tasted blood”, he warned.
I didn’t know what it meant, but it things changed drastically after that episode. She stopped interacting with me from that day onwards, slowly and steadily.
During winter she gave birth to a few cute puppies but before they could open their eyes, they all were dead.
“She killed them”, argued my parents, but I couldn’t believe it.
I went searching for her, and after spending a considerable amount of time, I found her roaming on the empty road behind bushes.
“Did you kill your pups?”, I asked looking into her eyes but she didn’t respond. I realized that the code of silence was broken that day.
Nobody trusted her anymore, people started keeping their kids away from her. My parents locked me out of her house, all my explanations were numb in their ears.
And a few days later, when I got an opportunity to sneak into the lawn again, I saw her house empty!
“She is no more”, exclaimed Bhadoria uncle in the saddest possible voice. I had never seen the tough man so nimble.
Possibly I didn’t know what it meant to die at that time, but all I knew was that she would never come back.
But the kid in me couldn’t believe that she was no more, I kept questioning everyone till the time they showed me her grave.
“She is with god now”, said my dad.
“O! how cruel he must be”, I thought.
The next morning, I visited the temple of the god Shiva with my mom.
“Bhole baba will grant all your wishes if you ask from your heart”, she said.
And the kid in me spent weeks circling the small temple.
Dosti karli humne dilaggi samjh kar,
Par bichad jane ki saza na puchi…
Khudi bahut buland thi humari,
Par khuda ne bande se raza na puchi….
That was the first lesson of a broken promise I had with god, he did turn graceful enough, multiple times in my life before I turned atheist.
But I still love god, because he has given me the freedom to deny himself.
Friendship is just one of those freedoms I had with me when multiple lucky occasions introduced me to amazing people.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of Lost Emotions and I hope if your first friend is around you, you will give them a call sooner than later.
I end this episode with something I wrote for my friend
Yaad teri dil me rahegi tab tak..,
(your thoughts will remain in my heart)
Dimag ke store room me chuhe na ghuse jab tak…
(as long as my brain attic is not occupied by rats
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