Resilient Us

At one point Jeff Sabins was the most blown-up United States Marine in service. Meaning, no Marine wearing a uniform faced as many IEDs as him. But we don't talk about that in his story. Because Jeff sees himself as more than a warrior. He sees himself as a loving father of a child recovering from a brain tumor; and as an author who just finished his first book, The American Terrorist.    After Jeff's son was diagnose with a brain tumor, his life was dedicated to being beside his son. And soon, it was dedicated to being there for families undergoing the same. Soon after his son's cancer went into remission he was later diagnosed with autism - which, as Jeff explains, is more common than not. The Sabin family dynamics forever changed.    Along the way Jeff noticed that the difficulties of navigating the medical system felt unduly cumbersome and isolating. On a mission to ensure that no families had to endure similar difficulties without having a community, Jeff and his wife started fromtumor2autism.com. This platform instilled hope in the Sabin family, as well as the many others that visited the site.    Along the way Jeff's career in the Marines progressed. But the author inside him couldn't quiet. This, he learned, by writing regularly for his site fromtumor2autism. So, as retirement from the military approached, Jeff put paper to pen, and just two weeks ago published his first book The American Terrorist.    What I love most about Jeff's story is that each chapter feels so isolated from the next. We could have talked the entire time about combat and his near-death experiences. We didn't say a word about it. We could have only talked about the struggles that his family faced after his son was diagnosed with a brain tumor - it was just an opportunity for them to help others. And becoming a published author….while on active-duty… that's literally unheard of. Jeff's character inspires, moves, and stills; and it was an absolutely pleasure to host him on Resilient Us.    Follow him on Instagram or Facebook to see his latest writings!   As always, let me know what you think of the show by reaching out to me here.   

Josh Boyer was forced to medically retire from the Air Force. His back had too many issues; it required too many surgeries. And after each operation, copious amounts of medications were prescribed. Medications that were supposed to help Josh. But soon the pills that eased his pain started transform his mind. The pain was supposed to go away after surgery. Instead, the pain only dissipated after heavy doses of medication. Surgery, after surgery, after surgery.    Josh was addicted to opiates.     For years he consumed them without reserve. He lived nearly a decade under an incoherent fog. Then, one day, he quit. Cold turkey. The withdrawals he underwent took him to the brink of death. Or perhaps the brink of life.    While Josh's opiate addiction started as a means to ease his physical pain, it caused far worse, harder to cure injuries of the mind. In sum, his back was never cured. At least, not through the surgeries that introduced him to the pills that nearly ruined his life. And while his search for physical relief led to existential despair, it was from this bottom that Josh built up a new life.    While his withdraws were extreme - he had over half a dozen seizures during his first year of sobriety - the thought of living another day beholden to the pills was even more haunting. Josh didn't want to steadily change his life. He wanted a completely new one. So, in tandem with his new physical habits Josh sought a spiritual wakening as well.    This is the story of one man who's life now inspires so many others to fight their addictions through discipline, self-awakening, and positive mindset. As his personal mantra goes, "𝑬𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝑽𝒖𝒍𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝑬𝒙𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝑬𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒚, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒎𝒆" 

After a raid gone awry while overseas during his time in the Marines, Kionte lost his right leg. Though he recalls the moments after in a matter-of-fact tone, the truth was the Kionte lost more than just his leg that day.    He lost his self confidence, his self esteem, his ability to ever walk into a room and not be looked at twice.    What followed were bouts of emotions he never faced before: melancholy, depression, and suicidal thoughts.    This next episode of Resilient Us is all about the darker parts of our mind. What happens when you no longer see a future for yourself? How can you manage anxiety, melancholy, depression - will these things ever leave?    I'm most excited about this episode because Kionte always smiles. But happiness doesn't preclude someone from suffering from debilitating thoughts.    After our conversation I don't think I'll ever think about depression the same. And since the odds are that you or someone you love suffers from his exact same, tormenting thoughts, it's a good thing to rethink. So here's to renewing our minds for the ones we love, for being there for them when they can't be for themselves.    Because really, resilience is a product of community.

Cobey "Chaos" Fehr is an amateur MMA fighter who hopes to soon join the UFC in his fight for the kids.    Cobey's life has been defined by fighting, from his early days of fighting against the influence of drugs in his closest circles, to dedicating his childhood and collegiate years to wrestling, Cobey has, in all areas of his life, fought for who he is today.    This is why I was most excited to talk to him - because I know that the lessons he's learned on mats and cages across the country shape the way he sees life. He understands pain and suffering, and the proper response to those inconveniences which yield to something other than setbacks.    This journey hasn't been without difficulty. Cobey recalls intimately the moments when he wanted to jump out of a car on his way to college because he was so afraid of life on campus at Lake Erie College. He talks about performance anxiety and how personal and social expectations frequently culminate to bouts of depression.    We talk about "making it" - what it takes to get to the UFC. Hint: it's not just about your record. A fighter has to make a business case that they belong in the league, that their personality can sell out arenas. It doesn't take long listening to Cobey Fehr to believe he has that personality.    But his reasoning for making to the UFC is touching. He reminisces on growing up in Barberton, Ohio and how most of the media he witnessed spoke negatively of his future: star athletes getting busted for drug use, rising crime rates in the city, who was going to re-write that narrative? Who was going to show the next generation of kids that they could do something like MMA and not be someone who's story ended in drug abuse? Queue Cobey.    Can he do it? He's sitting at 2-1. And, at a minimum, a fighter needs a 6 win streak to be considered for the big leagues. He's got something else working in his favor, Cobey trains at Strong Style Training Center, the same facility as the UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World, Stipe Miocic. So, he's in good company.   If there's one thing I've been pondering since my talk with Cobey it's that in all things we must keep fighting.    And as always, stay resilient. 

Mario Romero is a modern day renaissance man.    He's a polymath whose story doesn't begin with promises of a prodigy. He seemed normal, even average. Some of his labels were inherited. As Mario so intimately recalls, he was told that "no one in the family is good at math." So he wasn't either, he thought. No one in his immediately family had graduated college (let alone an Ivy League), fought in U.S. Special Operations, or started the application process to become an astronaut at NASA either. But Mario has since done all these things.    His accomplishments began with him challenging his prior causes, the moments in his life that defined what he thought he could and could not do. Mario was fed up with these prior causes, and believing them to be lies, set out to disprove their narrative.    What culminated was a nine year journey in the U.S. Navy SEALs, where he was selected to join its most prestigious team, DEVGRU. After his time in the military Mario struggled - as so many veterans do. He never joined believing there would be a day after his time in uniform. Then there was. And he was left to figure out his new identity; with bruises and wounds on the inside and out.     Having proved himself physically capable of some of the toughest challenges in the world, Mario applied the same approach to academics. He believed that he could become "good at math." That it was just like any physical exercise - he just needed practice. Subsequently, he excelled at community college and continued his education at Columbia University in the City of New York - where he graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Pure Mathematics.    Now, Mario works at NASA as a member of their dive team and trains astronauts in high-pressure environments. His next dream is to be an astronaut.    Most peculiar to Mario's story is his obsession with free will. How much of these accomplishments was actually his choice? He didn't choose to first believe he was bad at math, did he? Did he choose to challenge the prior causes, or was it another cause that sent him into challenging his identity?    While this conversation feels abstract, it suggests an interesting challenge.    Where do we draw the lines to where the self begins and where it ends? And once drawn, can these lines be redrawn? Only through the proof of our lives can we answer these questions; through journeys with paths yet paved. Because, just as we've redrawn maps of the physical world, and our galaxy through exploration, so too we must explore and - and redraw - the map of ourselves.  

Ask a city dweller and they'll tell you that the suburbs are where culture dies. It's where cookie cutter homes line perfectly trimmed streets; where block party's serve the same recipes as in the seventies. Boredom is what they might call it. While that may be true in some places, this isn't the case in Pflugerville, Texas, a northeast suburb of Austin that's also one of the fastest growing cities in America.   In this episode, I speak with Mary Foss, one of the entrepreneurs making Pflugerville - a suburb of Austin and the 3rd fastest growing city in the USA - such a desirable place to call home. Mary and her husband Josh started West Pecan Coffee + Beer, making it the first coffee/beer cafe in town.   What evolved was more than a business. It became the epicenter for town. A place for bible studies and business meetings; where locals work remotely, and people gather to talk about their new lives they're starting down the road after moving - most likely - from California.   Mary's heart is as pure as the Scandinavian aesthetic of the shop. It won't take you long to hear that. As a local, it brings me great joy knowing that she is among the people actively shaping the future of this town. For those who live far from Austin, I hope you hear her story and realize that entrepreneurship doesn't mean that work equals life. Because, most interesting to Mary's story was hearing how she manages all her life, and her one year old business.   More than work-life balance, we talk about bearing the responsibility of building a community and the unique struggles of being a female entrepreneur.   If you like the show please share it with someone you know! And as always, give it a rating on iTunes to help other find it. And if you really like what you've heard, make sure to hit "subscribe" on whatever platform you listen to podcasts.   And until next time, stay resilient.

Risto Miikkulainen is a professor of neural and evolutionary computation at the University of Texas, Austin. As a researcher of artificial intelligence, his life's work has ushered in findings and technologies that are aiding in the goal to make machines autonomous. Though not yet a reality, his vision for the future is a world where computers - once built - will update themselves, write their own code, and perpetually learn without any human input.    What does this have to do with resilience? Risto gives a few illuminating examples where AI thrives under adverse conditions. In fact, he argues that high-pressure environments are an essential element to the development of AI. Given that much of AI has been modeled off of the human brain this is remarkable insight to how we also develop.  Moreover, Risto and I talk about how society might remain resilient amidst rapid technological changes. Ultimately, Risto and I agree that much of the fear-mongering conversations surrounding AI are only half the conversation.    He sees a world that's directly influencing every part of our lives. Meaning, the next wave of technological advancements won't merely effect the functionalities of your phone. Rather, he sees a world where AI decides the laws we make and even politicians to elect.    While this kind of world seems scary, Risto welcomes the changes. Most importantly, he believes that AI will introduce more independence and greater opportunities for individuals.   Let's keep the conversation going on the Resilient Us Facebook page. How do you envision the future of humans and AI? 

Miguel Leon has overcame homelessness and drug addiction. He's escaped from gangs. He is born and bred from the streets. To many, his story can feel flat. Because we love the Hollywood arcs. We love a plot line that moves from struggle to a clean victory. But that victory isn't so clear with Miguel. Within a year of this recording he recently relapsed.  This doesn't lessen his accomplishments in sobriety, or classify him as someone who "hasn't changed." Far from it.    As I say in the beginning of this episode, why doesn't Miguel just give up? Why doesn't he just admit that he's an addict and will always be an addict? That despite his best intentions he'll never be anything but the gangster he was growing up? Because he won't be. He isn't any of these things. Miguel is changed. He's not normal. He's resilient.    His victory started with separating from his gang in New Jersey, continued into choosing to battle drug addiction, and lives on today as he lives with an incredibly positive spirit despite his hardships - which included him living homeless and at times in prison.    As I think about Miguel's story I'm genuinely curious to know, what - to you - makes a person resilient?    I think it's about the fight in them, not the victories behind them.

Katie K is a management consultant known for coming out at work. Shortly after starting college Katie came out as gay and quickly retreated after much of her family, church, and friends lambasted her for her homosexuality. She concealed it for years. Then she started her career, and questioned whether she should continue to keep this part of her a secret again.    Early in her career, a mentor encouraged Katie to make this part of her well-known. She learned that her sexuality wouldn't affect her promotions or opportunities. In short time, her message became something of a buzz among business professionals. Her story was shared in a recent  feature in the Financial Times and in the June Print Issue of Oprah Magazine.   As a result, the doubts she had about herself as an openly gay woman in the workplace vanished and she started to rethink the entire notion of work/life balance. How much of her was dictated by the firm that paid her, how much of her time did she owe the employer that let her truly be her?    Katie realized that work wasn't life. That her identity wasn't in her corporate title; and that even her sexuality - something she once made such a great deal of - wasn't even HER.    Because of this premise, Katie has developed a unique perspective to separating work from her personal life. She draws boundaries that many on a professional track can't.    These experiences made her opinions on the divide between men and women, sexual harassment, and the #metoo movement especially poignant.    For guest requests, please contact me here.

Matt Young is the author of Eat The Apple, which has been called the "Iliad of the Iraq War." His memoir received glowing - and not-so-glowing - remarks from critics. The reason for the latter lies in Matt's vulnerability. Though equipped with the pen, Matt chooses not to write himself as a hero in his own book. Instead, he degrades his existence. Sparring no detail, Matt describes his infidelity toward his then fiancée, his obsession with masturbation, and abuse toward junior Marines.    In this interview, we talk about this "Matt" and why he chose to make him his protagonist. Moreover, we talk about the writing process and how he discovered that he was a writer. In short: writing is rewriting. Though originally a fiction writer, Matt continued to write nonfiction and succumbed to this habit - which led to the production of his first book.    Following the release of this book, Matt landed a position as assistant professor at Centralia College. There he teaches the next generation of writers about prose and storytelling.    Also since the release of Eat the Apple, Matt has started writing his second book, which is aligned with his first love, fiction.    If you want to follow Matt you can find him on twitter (@mcyoung0) and Instagram (@youngmattc). To follow his tour dates, recent publications, or to say hi head to mattyoungauthor.com.    Listened to the show? Let me know what you think here!